Guest lvdkeyes Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY & Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. & Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. & Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. & Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. & Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. & Variation Law If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). & Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. & Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. & Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. & Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. & Law of the Theatre At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. & The Starbucks Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. & Murphy's Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. & Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. & Brown's Law of Physical Appearance If the shoe fits, it's ugly. & Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. & Doctors' Law If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick. & Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest zzrichard Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Nice! I think this one may also be a criteria of some posters! Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lvdkeyes Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 That one is what prompted me to post it here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaybutton Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Law of Gravity Addendum If a tool is particularly heavy it will roll into the least accessible corner only after it first lands on your toe. Law of Shoe Gas When you accidentally rub your shoe on the floor in such a manner that it sounds like you just loudly farted, when you try to repeat the action so that people will realize it was your shoe, no matter how many times you try you cannot reproduce the sound. Law of Facial Speck Whenever you try to tell someone they have something on their face, you can never get them to rub the right spot. Law of Letter in Your Mailbox The more serious the social situation, the more likely you are to have to pull your underwear from the crack in your ass. Law of Lost Ideas When you wake up in the middle of the night with a great idea, by morning you will have forgotten what it was. Law of Retorts You will always realize what you should have said after it is much too late to say it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
