The need to be vicious

[TotallyOz]

I notice on many boards that posters have a desire to be vicious and to be as nasty as they can. Perhaps they are the opposite in real life but to read some of the venom on the posts I find it pretty sad. I have never understood why someone has to stoop to that level. I really don't get it. It is like kicking someone when they are down.

 

We have so much in common with each other that it is a shame that we don't just love the fact that we can hang out and grace each others presence (on the boards or in person) without the knife in the back.

 

Thank you to members of this community for respecting each other. While sometimes things get a little out of hand, those times are rare and far between. It is very very appreciated! And, each poster needs to be thanked for blessing us with his presence. It means a lot to us that you choose to post on this board when there are other boards out there.

 

We will try to continue to keep the board a "venom" free zone. It is OK to debate and to argue but please don't get personal and attack someone because of your views. I read a post on another board tonight and my mouth dropped. Why anyone would post it is beyond me. Yet there it was. Perhaps not a big deal there but thank goodness those of you here have the decency to know limits and appropriate boundaries. Thank you!

[Guest taylorsquare]

Why do people do this you may ask,?

Some people live lonely lives,their fun is to abuse others on a computer.

 

They may be bitter people. There is a psychology around it i suppose.

[Guest gay_grampa]

... I read a post on another board tonight and my mouth dropped. Why anyone would post it is beyond me. Yet there it was ...

 

Go on .. give us the link, please. Pretty please.

[Gaybutton]

The personal attacks are not exactly anything new on the gay Thailand boards. I have to plead guilty of launching and participating in those kinds of attacks myself. And anyone who has been on these boards for any length of time knows that I am very often the recipient of personal attacks, whether provoked or unprovoked, deserved or not.

 

The trick is not giving a hoot about those attacks. In my case I just consider the source.

 

While we don't allow it on this board, everyone knows that some other boards permit it, in the name of free speech, which I personally find ridiculous.

 

The thing is, in my opinion, if one can't handle being on the receiving end of personal attacks, snide remarks, put downs, etc. then they ought not to post on these boards. It seems to me the more prolific the poster, the more likely and the more often he'll be attacked with as much viciousness as the attacker's command of English allows him to conjure up.

 

I think part of it is due to the ease of hiding behind the anonymity of the message boards. Many attackers post attacks that they would never dare say face-to-face to the 'attackee.'

[Guest lvdkeyes]

The psychology of it is that by putting others down they feel that they are better than whomever they are putting down. It is a matter of low self esteem.

[Guest fountainhall]

My observation is that quite a lot of people begin to highlight different aspects of their personalities when they are posting or chatting on internet sites. It's just too easy to type comments in to a computer which you would hesitate to say in front of others in a real life situation. And the more people chat in impersonal chat rooms, the less 'civilised' they often become. After all, an obscenity hurled at someone in a bar will likely lead to a strong reaction with an effect on your health. An obscenity typed in to the computer leads to . . well, there's virtually no consequence.

[Bob]

The frustrating part is that it's always just a few jerks that spoil a board (when/if the moderators allow it - whether in the so-called name of "free speech" or not); unfortunately, because decent posters get weary of sparring with idiots, sometimes you end up with the idiots making a fairly high percentage of the posts.

 

Moderation, at least in my view, makes a board more pleasant and palatable. This board and Ting Tong are the only two examples of reasonably moderated gay boards that I can think of at the moment.

[PattayaMale]

I really disagree!! Gaybutton is a real *&/#@!. And GayThailand is even a bigger %$*!@"%. The only person on this board with any sense is Pattayamale. He is so sweet an loveable.

[Guest Hedda]

Sorry, but I think this thread is much ado about nothing. What's "pleasant and palatable" to some readers may be bland and boring to others. What's "too personal" or even vicious to some may be just what others think the recipient deserved. It's the price we all pay for free speech: even jerks have the right to speak their mind, however ridiculous. Sometimes, the only way to know who's a jerk is to let him rattle on.

 

As far as I know, moderators are no more trained or expert at making the call about what's too personal than any of us. That's why it's almost always best not to have moderators interfere with the flow, which too often becomes fighting fire with gasoline.

 

When it comes to boards, I believe in laissez faire: who moderates least moderates best.The occasional posters who goes too far in ad hominem attacks

poses far less a risk to ruining a good board than a moderator who thinks he's got a cure for every problem.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

And they rattle on.

[Guest HeyGay]

Ok here are just a few hypothetical's

 

Yes! its, not nice if people say nasty things about others and make up lies and also try to put others down, or give out personal information about people. just to make them self look big. Or are having a vendetta with some one, as you asked ill give you some ideas I have noticed over the years.

 

I like GB have resorted to only saying the truth about very few guys, and as you know "the truth can do a lot more damage then lies", some may assume this as Vicious, but only the ones who have made it a business, to tell lies and make up stories about me, out of vindictiveness, not with a sense of humor, I would consider the vicious ones not me, a bit childish, but effective and very rarely.

 

There are various reasons I can see guys get vicious, it may be he has been in some sort of conflict with the victim, or the writer is just waiting to make up stories because his life is boring and has little friends, so he takes out his frustrations, by making up stories or telling lies, as it makes him feel better, he has brought the guy down a peg or 2. so he thinks in his deranged mind. This is also included with spreading untrue lies around town that's some people love to believe.

 

He may have seen the guy around, making out he is such a pillar of society and a fake philanthropist to take the spot light off his dirty deeds. In reality he has also seen this guy he is up to no good and a total fake and has proof he made his money by scamming others including his friends.

 

It could be they are both Alpha Males and will not stand down and are very vocal about curtain issue, they won't back down on. So they continue to stand their ground by digging their toes in a making a big hole for themselves in some cases.

 

It could be one of the guys had a generous friend and this victim came from no where to take over his old friend, he thinks, the generous guy would take the Vicious guy out a lot, then when the vicious guy started to say bad things out of jealousy, the ji dee farang, fazed him out, nothing to do with the new guy, just he was doing to many bad things and speaking behind ji dees back, so from then on when he saw the new guy Victim

[Guest Astrrro]

Most of us have a cruel streak; it's part of being human. People have figured out the easiest place to be cruel, the arena with the least reprucussions, is on message boards.

[Guest]

I think part of it is due to the ease of hiding behind the anonymity of the message boards. Many attackers post attacks that they would never dare say face-to-face to the 'attackee.'

 

This is often the case.

 

The psychology of it is that by putting others down they feel that they are better than whomever they are putting down. It is a matter of low self esteem.

 

In many instances, you are right.

 

Moderation, at least in my view, makes a board more pleasant and palatable. This board and Ting Tong are the only two examples of reasonably moderated gay boards that I can think of at the moment.

 

I agree. I don't think a board can stay afloat without moderation. But, there needs to be little moderation. I have always believed that one should watch the board carefully and intervene as little as possible unless the posting guidelines are violated. Then, things need to be dealt with.

 

I really disagree!! Gaybutton is a real *&/#@!. And GayThailand is even a bigger %$*!@"%. The only person on this board with any sense is Pattayamale. He is so sweet an loveable.

 

That *uck*Y8 GayThailand is a real @$$T$ isn't he?

 

When it comes to boards, I believe in laissez faire: who moderates least moderates best.

 

I tend to agree with you. I don't think GB does though.

 

It could be they are both Alpha Males and will not stand down and are very vocal about curtain issue, they won't back down on.

 

Now, I get it. You are the Alpha Male and you also chase Alpha Males. How does that work? Seems like it will be a constant battle.

 

Most of us have a cruel streak; it's part of being human. People have figured out the easiest place to be cruel, the arena with the least repercussions, is on message boards.

 

Message Boards have made it easy to do this haven't they? I know I have written to some CEO's at times and would not dare utter the words in person. I got so pissed once at Ticketmaster in the USA that I got the CEO's direct e-mail and e-mailed him my complaint. He was not a happy camper. (his secretary was not suppose to give it out and it only took me a week to find it) But, I got my front row Madonna tickets.

[Guest Geezer]

HeyGay thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

 

I think many have learned a lot from your post.

[Gaybutton]

I really disagree!! Gaybutton is a real *&/#@!.

Well, at least you've got me pegged . . .

[Gaybutton]

I like GB have resorted to only saying the truth about very few guys, and as you know "the truth can do a lot more damage then lies"

I'm going to challenge that. I don't think I write posts designed to accuse people, whether overtly or through innuendo. I also think if you claim to always tell the truth, you can't claim to always get your facts right. On another board, for example, and under a different name, you wrote that I banned Catawampuscat from this board and also banned your Earwig name here. I did neither.

 

Catawampuscat is not banned and never has been banned. He always was, and still is perfectly free to post here any time he wishes.

 

When the Earwig name was banned yes, it was I who pressed the button, but it was not I who authorized it. No one has ever been banned from this board by a unilateral decision by me. Any user who has ever been banned was banned by mutual decision of the moderators and the owner of the board, any one of whom could have vetoed the ban decision.

 

Also, there seems to be a great deal of assumption that the time I resigned from this board it was due to a dispute between GayThailand and myself over Earwig. The truth is Earwig was not even a factor in my decision at that time. A settlement of a dispute also had nothing to do with my decision to stay on as moderator. The truth is Rainwalker convinced me to stay on and to this day I still feel a major debt of gratitude toward him for the things he said to me in private discussions. If it wasn't for Rainwalker, I would not have stayed on as moderator. So everyone out there has Rainwalker to either thank or blame for my presence here as moderator.

[Guest]

I'm not aware of any significant problems on this board.

 

Certain other boards have a very small number of obnoxious nutters who will trash almost any thread, without even making any useful point in their post. At the same time, some of these people behave quite reasonably on different boards, where there is some degree of moderation.

 

Sometimes it is necessary to delete members & I can think of 3~4 boards (including this one) that get this part right.

[Guest]

HeyGay thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

I think many have learned a lot from your post.

 

LOL Thanks Geezer! I learned a great deal as well. See, everyone can be a teacher at times.

 

Catawampuscat is not banned and never has been banned. He always was, and still is perfectly free to post here any time he wishes.

 

Incorrect. Sorry GB, you are wrong on every count on this one.

 

I'm not aware of any significant problems on this board.

 

Certain other boards have a very small number of obnoxious nutters who will trash almost any thread, without even making any useful point in their post. At the same time, some of these people behave quite reasonably on different boards, where there is some degree of moderation.

 

Sometimes it is necessary to delete members & I can think of 3~4 boards (including this one) that get this part right.

 

Thanks Z909. There are no significant problems on this board and the majority of that is because GayButton does such a great job.

[Bob]

Hedda, like others, simply champion free speech - and that's their right to do so. But even totally free speech comes with a cost. Moderation or lack of moderation leads to certain results. In reality, it colors and defines a board.

 

This board and Ting Tong are moderated to some degree - and you can go there and make your own assessment of the value of the board, the type of posters who seem to post there, and the entertainment/information value. You can also do the same with the other boards that live/die by the "free speech" model.

 

Even limited and reasonable moderation doesn't eliminate all disputes or disagreements - and that's fine; however, thankfully, it does in fact (my opinion) reduce the presence of trolls and total morons.

[Guest]

1 The moderation on this board is good. There are slightly different styles of good moderation on a couple of other Thai forums too.

 

2 If you want totally free speech, there is always the option of setting up your own board.

As a guest on a board run by someone else, I have no difficulty with the concept of limits on free speech. If those limits are not set in the right place, I always have the option of going elsewhere.

[Only organisations like the BBC should have an obligation to promote totally free speech, but they fail hopelessly by suppressing debate on matters like the TV License & state run monopoly "services"]

 

3 I think other boards that allow too much vicious comment may decline, as members go elsewhere to escape the knockers & have a sensible debate.

[Gaybutton]

Incorrect. Sorry GB, you are wrong on every count on this one.

If that's the case, then he was banned without my knowledge. Even so, the point I was making is the fact that the statement was made that I had banned him. No, I didn't, and until reading your response to my post I didn't even know he was banned.

 

Well, good. This is one time I'm glad to be wrong. So much for the accusations that if someone is banned on this board, then I must be the one who did it.

[Guest fountainhall]

It's the price we all pay for free speech: even jerks have the right to speak their mind, however ridiculous

 

I guess I'm going to have some arrows fired in my direction by commenting on this 'free speech' business.

 

Frankly, I don't think we have an inalienable right to free speech - which I believe means saying whatever we want at any time (correct me if I am wrong). Living in any society means accepting certain rules which are for the overall good of that society. And these rules mean that no individual can be totally free. It's a bit like the road network. You just cannot drive on the wrong side of the road, no matter how much you may have a desire to do so. You cannot go wherever you want without obeying traffic signals. Ten year olds cannot drive on public roads. If you waive these rules, you have chaos. And basic society cannot function in a state of chaos

 

Plus there is the issue of all those who shout out about the need to preserve and protect our 'freedom'. but often forgetting that freedom comes with responsibility. If I'm in a bar and just don't like the look of someone I have never before met, I don't believe I have a right to go up to him and say "you look like a piece of s--t". The same is true of verbal sexual harrassment in the workplace. That's not freedom of speech. That's just selfish bloody-mindedness.

[Guest lvdkeyes]

It's a bit like the road network. You just cannot drive on the wrong side of the road, no matter how much you may have a desire to do so. You cannot go wherever you want without obeying traffic signals.

Surely you are not referring to Thailand. he he he

[Guest fountainhall]

Surely you are not referring to Thailand?

 

Aw shucks - how did you guess?

[Guest lvdkeyes]

Intuitive.