TotallyOz Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 I want to buy the BF a gift for Xmas and other holidays and I want something nice as we have been together for almost 6 years. BUT, I don't want to buy anything he can sell, trade, give to family, etc. So, what is left? How can I get him anything that will require him to hold on to it? I know when a gift is freely given one should have the right to do with as they want. But, I am not going to do that with this guy. Now what? Quote
Guest lvdkeyes Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Engraving makes selling difficult. Quote
Guest HeyGay Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Try Getting him a wife, with all the money he is getting from you, she will never give him up, unless you do of course. Quote
Gaybutton Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Considering his recent medical problem, why not get him a good health insurance policy? I realize that's not exactly a romantic gift, but it would certainly be something useful for him to have, and he can't sell it or give it to anyone. Quote
Guest Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 Engraving makes selling difficult. Engraving on Gold? Try Getting him a wife, with all the money he is getting from you, she will never give him up, unless you do of course. LOL You are too funny dear! He doesn't want a wife. He tells me that all the time. He is quite happy with his girlfriend and ladyboy on the site. Considering his recent medical problem, why not get him a good health insurance policy? I realize that's not exactly a romantic gift, but it would certainly be something useful for him to have, and he can't sell it or give it to anyone. He just came back from a long weekend at home with family and his face looks like it was hit with a baseball bat. He promises the other guy looks worst and went to hospital. A good medical plan is not a bad idea. Quote
Guest lester1 Posted September 13, 2009 Posted September 13, 2009 The giving of gifts to Thai people is always fraught with problems. In western society you give a present and then the onus is upon the recipient to dutifully thank the giver, the giver expects to be thanked and part of the pleasure in the giving is the thanks you get afterward. I have always been disappointed in Thailand that this part of the package is left out. So many times has a gift, tip, genuine help and advice been given and then the expected thanks has not come back. I was told that the way Thai society thinks of this is that the giver has not only received his pleasure in the giving but that, because he is the giver and thus in a 'higher position', it is the role of the receiver to acknowledge this without making any further comment. I may have misrepresented something here but that is what I was told. It is a clash of cultures that has caused the upset rather than lack of manners. To answer your question, a Thai junior of any age is always trying to look successful in the eyes of his family. So any present that enables him/her to do this is the best. ( of course, you would like to give something that somehow reflects the relationship you have with the boy, but that may not be how he looks at it). I do know of someone who has given enough cash to his friend to enable him to buy up land and expand the family home. Another option is to buy some education for him. Remember the old adage that 'you can take the boy out of the Plaza but not the plaza out of the boy'.......change the word plaza to whatever fits. Of course, unless you are willing to live with the boy permanently and make a home with him, travel and introduce him to your life back home, then I would stick to the old favourites. Quote
Gaybutton Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 the giver expects to be thanked and part of the pleasure in the giving is the thanks you get afterward. I have always been disappointed in Thailand that this part of the package is left out. That seems to be the case. I don't think it is in any way ingratitude. I think it is merely a cultural difference and the gratitude is expressed in more subtle ways. I've also noticed that when someone receives multiple gifts, such as at a birthday party or even a wedding, they don't open the gifts. They wait until they go home, or if the party is being held at their home they wait until everyone has left. But Thailand is not noted for consistency. I've also seen times when the recipient of a gift expresses gratitude in the way most of us would expect. I agree with lester1 in that if you are expecting a big thank-you and other expressions of gratitude, then in Thailand you're barking up the wrong tree. I've learned that the gratitude is truly there, but I have no expectation of seeing it expressed. Every so often I'm pleasantly surprised. By the way, giving a cash gift is perfectly acceptable in Thailand, even at formal occasions such as weddings. Rather than going out and buying a gift, I have learned that it works much better if I give a cash gift whenever I can. Most of the time, when I have given a gift it turns out to be something the recipient doesn't really want in the first place, so I spent time and money shopping for something that is more likely going to end up being sold, pawned, given to someone else, or just thrown away. I'd rather give a cash gift and let the recipient do whatever he wants with it. That also seems to be much more appreciated. I have also learned that while it is not considered crass to give a cash gift, it is considered crass if you simply hand over money. If you are going to give a cash gift, put it in an envelope and hand over the envelope. I have also learned that it is essentially useless to give a gift that is meant to be of sentimental value. I have yet to meet a Thai person who thinks that way. They don't seem to attach sentiment to any kind of gift. Along with cash gifts, the gifts that seem to be most appreciated are gifts of gold or a gift of a mobile phone. I no longer give gold. It always ends up being pawned or sold, exchanged, stolen, given to mama, or lord-knows-what. I also don't give a mobile phone as a gift. Unless it is one of the most expensive phones, with all the bells and whistles, rather than appreciated it almost seems to be resented, and they let you know it too. Quote
Guest lvdkeyes Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 I posted that engraving was a good idea. You asked if it should be gold. That made me think. Of course engraved gold can be sold since the goldsmith will just melt it down. Back to square one. Maybe you can take him to a tailor shop to have some shirts or pants made. Quote
Guest rainwalker Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Can I suggest a tattoo put on by a renowned artist like Sompong Kanphai? He's the guy who designed some of Angelina Jolie's and, I think, did an invisible tattoo on PattayaMale's companion. PM has the details and I'm sure he and his friend will help out if my memory is out of service, temporarily I hope... Quote
PattayaMale Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Rainwalker's memory has not failed him. My Thai friend made me promise that he could get two tattoo's from Sompong Kanphai to get him to go to the United States with me. I had read that "invisible" tattoos have the same power as ink tattoos so I agreed. It is not cheap at all from this "master" as my friend calls him. Sompong does temple tattoos as well as fashion ones. After the invisible tattoo which cost 30,000 baht, he talked me into two ink tattoos. We had some restrictions like it could not be seen with his shirt on, and would be covered on the arm in a short sleeve shirt. He did get 2 temple tattoos. Sompong does not use a tattoo gun. Just the old fashioned stick. Even though I am not a tattoo fan, I admit these are beautiful in an artistic sense. Sompong has others that work for him that will do tattoos. They are much cheaper. A tiger one like Angelina Jolie has is now 75,000 and up by the master. I was telling my friend what I was writing and he said to tell GT that he will take you and your Boy Friend there AND he will pay for the gas, if you get him another tattoo from the master...........My friend is a bit crazy now I think. Quote
Guest Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Even though I am not a tattoo fan, I admit these are beautiful in an artistic sense. I love tattoos! I love boys with tats. If you put me in a gogo bar with friends, they will all point to the one boy on stage that gets my attention first and it is the one with the most tattoos. Your guy is good PattayaMale. I like his work. I am a color guy and actually saw a guy in LA that did some of Jolie's work too. He is just as crazy with his prices. Quote
Guest luvthai Posted September 14, 2009 Posted September 14, 2009 Put a lump sum in an interest bearing account with the interest being paid to him but the prinicple cannot be touched as you will have control of it. Maybe he will even learn about saving and investing. Quote
Guest tdperhs Posted September 16, 2009 Posted September 16, 2009 How about a No Load Mutual Fund in trust. Start with a simple amount like 20Kbt. Then build an MS Excel page so that periodically, e.g. every Saturday, he can go on line, determine the most recent value of his fund, enter it onto Excel page, then convert that to a progress chart. It will give him a whole new perspective on the function of money; and you will be besieged by questions that you should be able to answer. You can never give a better gift than one that educates. Also it is one that he can share without giving any of it away. His reaction to the changes in the value of the fund, up or down, will make you feel appreciated. Quote
Guest zzrichard Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 What is an "invisible" tattoo? Quote
Bob Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I know when a gift is freely given one should have the right to do with as they want. Think you answered your own question. Presuming he's younger than 30, he likely won't give a hoot about something safe (an investment or the like) and probably won't like it if he can't do with it what he wants. Sorry, nature of the beast. Quote
Gaybutton Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 What is an "invisible" tattoo? Beats me. I've never seen one . . . Quote
Guest fountainhall Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 I also don't give a mobile phone as a gift. Unless it is one of the most expensive phones, with all the bells and whistles, rather than appreciated it almost seems to be resented, and they let you know it too Totally agree. As a surprise, having said I'd never give him a mobile phone, I once gave one of the latest with all relevant bells and whistles. This was met with a frown - because it was not the model he wanted. He conveniently lost it (sold it?)! Quote
Guest joseph44 Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Beats me. I've never seen one . . . Hehe, an invisible tattoo......THB 30,000.......must be only possible in Thailand Quote
PattayaMale Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 Beats me. I've never seen one . . . Very good question, and a clever answer. LOL I have been "forced" to read several articles about Tattoos. My Thai friend believes in the power of the tattoo as well as other things I would call superstitions (only from ignorance possibly). To him these temple tats are important and give him protection. (Obviously it did not protect him from me but...) So an invisible tattoo is really a tattoo without ink. It still has the same magical powers as an ink tattoo. Some "masters" are more important than others and I guess that is because they protect you better. I guess it might be a bit like the rabbit foot, four leaf clover or belief in Jesus Christ and him dying for "your" sins. Quote
Bob Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 If there is such a thing as an invisible and painless tatoo, then I might be a candidate; otherwise, not! Quote
Guest lvdkeyes Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 If invisible and painless, what's the point? Quote
Bob Posted September 17, 2009 Posted September 17, 2009 If invisible and painless, what's the point? I thought the point was rather obvious (I have no tattoos nor will I ever have one). Quote
Guest lvdkeyes Posted September 18, 2009 Posted September 18, 2009 Yes, I agree. It was a rhetorical question. Quote
