Bikes in Thailand.

"I don't remember you ever beating Lance Armstrong" said the journalist. "When was that?"
"In the seventh stage of the Tour de France in 2002, I beat him over the head with my water bottle - but he still won the tour!"
"The hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle is the road!"
Jack an Jill have just climed Le Alp de Huez on a tandem: "Phew that was a tough climb" said Jack "Thought I was going to bonk". "Yeah good job I kept the brakes on" said Jill "or we'd have slid all the way back down!"
What is the cheapest type of bicycle you can buy?
A penny-farthing!
"I've really had it with my dog: he'll chase anyone on a bicycle."
"So what are you going to do - leave him at the dog's home? Give him away? Sell him?"
"No, nothing that drastic. I think I'll just confiscate his bike."
My granny started cycling at 97 years old. She has been doing ten miles per day - and now we don't know where the heck she is!
A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. "What've I done, officer?" asks the rider.
"Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . ."
"Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"
Did you hear about the cyclist who used viagra eye drops? They made him look hard!
Mary had a bicycle
She rode it on the grass
Every time the wheel went round
A spoke went up her ....
I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. The woman was driving very slowly uphill, honking her horn and shouting at me: "PIG! PIG!!". I flipped her the finger and shouted back "BITCH! COW!!". Then I collided with the pig!
"Where's your bicycle Vicar" I said, (because it was the first time I had seen him walking in 10 years!). "Don't know, I think it might have been stolen, but I will get it back on Sunday" he replied. "At my next sermon I will go through the ten commandments. When I get to 'thou shalt not steal' God will sort it out, I've got faith"
The following week, sure enough he was riding the bike again. So I asked him if the ten commandments thing had worked as planned: "I got as far as thou shall not commit adultery.......then I suddenly remembered where I left the bike.."
Two Nuns were riding a tandem along Wapping Warf in Bristol. The Nun on the back seat (the stoker) remarked "I've never come this way before", the reply "Must be the cobble stones"
A piece of motorway and piece of dual carriage way are enjoying a drink in the pub. In walks a piece of red tarmac. The bit of motorway whispers to the bit of carrageway "Come on lets drink up and go before the trouble starts; He's a bit of a cyclepath!"
I like cycling because: "it keeps me off the street"
Did You hear the one about the cyclist who didn't know he had diarrhoea until he removed his bike clips!
Three cyclist's went for a meal. When the waiter appeared with the bill, the first cyclist said "The meals on me lads, I�ll pay": The headlines the following day read "cycling ventriloquist found dead in a ditch"
(Very very old joke modified for enhanced political correctness following complaints from messieurs Lederman and McDuff)
An over zealous traffic cop stopped the vicar on his bicycle: After checking the bike thoroughly and finding nothing wrong he had to let the vicar go: "You will never arrest me because God is with me wherever I go" said the vicar. "Right then" (said the cop) "I�m nicking you for carrying a passenger on a single seater vehicle!"
A Cyclists Prayer: "Dear God. If there is such a thing as reincarnation then please may I return as a ladies bicycle seat"
A cyclist was stopped by customs. "What's in the bags?", asked the officer, pointing to his panniers. "Sand," said the cyclist. "let me take a look", said the cop. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, refilled the bags, and continued across the border.
A week later, the same thing happened, and continued every week for a year, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
A few months later, the cop saw the cyclist living it up downtown. "You sure had us foxed", said the cop. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what was it you were smuggling? ..... "Bicycles!"
Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
Because it's too tyred!
A tired cyclist stuck his thumb out for a lift: After 3 hours, hadn't got anyone to stop. Finally, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. But the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of the trunk and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider: "If I go too fast, ring your bell and I'll slow down."
Everything went well until another sports car blew past them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap. The cop with the radar gun and radioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 150 mph. He then relayed, "and you're not going to believe this, but there's a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to pass!".
The pedestrian (lemming) stepped off the kerb into the road without looking and gets knocked down by a passing cyclist:
"You were lucky" said the cyclist "What are you on about! That really hurt!" said the pedestrian "Usually I drive a bus!" the cyclist replied
"Do you realise you have left your shorts at home?" I said as I rode along side a rather exposed looking cyclist... "Yeah it was the wifes idea" he replied "Last week I went out without my jersy and finished up with a stiff neck!"
What do you call a bicycle built by a chemist?
Bike-carbonate of soda!
Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles
When she climbed off the crossbar I realized he was riding a ladies bike.
Why is Cinderella so uncompetitive at cycling? She has a pumpkin for a coach!
South Gloucestershire Council's Cyclist Policy Now this has to be the sickest joke out. Check it out for your self 8-(
Cones from the planet ring road Are they an alien race on a mission, to bring the planet Earth to a standstill?
Did Martians Land On The Bristol To Bath Cycle Path?
Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live. (Mark Twain)

August 12, 2009

HeyGay, you seem to know alot about bikes. Want to take a one Sunday off and ride down by the ocean? I'll provide the bike and the meals. You provide the laughter and fun. I provide the boys. You provide the GPS. Deal?

August 13, 2009

HeyGay, you seem to know alot about bikes. Want to take a one Sunday off and ride down by the ocean? I'll provide the bike and the meals. You provide the laughter and fun. I provide the boys. You provide the GPS. Deal?

Well now that would be fun, Thanks for the Invite, if I had not broken my collar bone, riding on my Yamaha Fino Motorbike, I'm sure you will have a wonderful time, but how long will it take, I'm really out of sorts to ride such a long journey, may be ill tag along some time on my fino, if your going some where nice like koi chang Island in October, I love Bangbao Beach there, its breathtaking if you book into one of the cheap Rooms on the pier. lol

Hey would it not be wonderful if we could talk Gay Button and Hedda on the trip, now that would get rid of there mean image of old cantankerous maids and a new make over will help vamp up there street cred and image. for their readers.

Now that would be paradise trip if you start to plan it now.

http://www.beachthai...ang-bao-bay.htm

http://www.sawatdee-...ang-t16933.html

click on picture

August 13, 2009

Hey would it not be wonderful if we could talk Gay Button and Hedda on the trip

Hedda is shy and GayButton doesn't play well with others. But, it would be a fun trip.

My worst trip ever was with a friend who went with me on a boat trip with a hundred guys and a hundred bottles of whiskey. The worst 24 hours I think I ever spent was on the River Kwai. I was sick and cold and the BF back then (not the same one as now) was useless to help me. It was the beginning of the end. If I had been smart, I would have taken a river taxi to the nearest port of call and got the hell out of the water. But, I was young and stupid back then.

I think a trip with you and Hedda and GayButton would be a hoot! Can we invite Oogleman too?

August 13, 2009

Yes Oggie would be a hoot, I hear he will do anything for a laugh, but he would want to stop for sex breaks, not pee breaks so much.

Yes I did the same trip on the River Kwai, I was invited by deceased Peter former owner of Krazy Pub, it was all paid for by a Belgium Customer and small partner in the Marina Inn Hotel. who lost his shirt on his Investment I think.

There was around 80 boys and 12 farangs, we had an air-conditioned bedRooms on the Raft, Disco the boys were from all over, some worked for the Crazy Pub and other were friends and some others that was the best of the street boys, wow it was an unforgettable 2 days, they had a show on the last night, the biggest boy on the boat, we had to give the prizes to but was he big, we the farangs had to do a show for our fare and so much free food and drink, I was in heaven and boys were so keen to please, to make a bit of pocket money to play cards.

I'm, waiting for MARK to do the same, but I expect he is to good a business man, to get involved with out side fun and games, like Peter. who I must say was great fun guy, if you did not get involved with him financially lol

Here is another member for your club.

http://www.baht-stop.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=6796

August 13, 2009

Here is another member for your club.

http://www.baht-stop.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=6796

He listed as an Angel. Is that one of your minions? I heard you were the Devil. Or, maybe someone said I was the Devil. My memory gets old at my age. But, with an Angel with either of us, it is sure to be Hell Frozen over!

August 15, 2009

with an Angel with either of us, it is sure to be Hell Frozen over!

Yes but with both of our Fun sense of Humor, Hell will soon melt to reveal a soft inner shell.

Hope you have a lot of Guys interested in your Bikeathon,

its amazing me, how many seem to be interested, I thought it would only be you reading this post

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