Friends with escort dudes.

[jamieb202]

I recently finished another trip to SP and I met a couple of guys who worked there. We formed a bit of a smoking area club and hung out a lot. They gave me WhatsApp and insta contacts and I thought they were genuinely interested in being friends. 

 

Is there anyone with anymore experience to give me advice here? Have I mixed up a good service from an escort or could I have a genuine connection with these (2) guys? The reason I'm thinking it is more is the extras... both of the guys let me know some of their vulnerabilities and one took me to his apartment to show me round. I was introduced to friends of there's outside the club. 

 

Ps. I don't have an attachment disorder. 😄

[caeron]

The question is what kind of friend. I think many westerners think friendship is by definition two equals. My experience is that in many other parts of the world this isn't true. These relationships come with expectations that the richer/older/wiser is the patron/mentor. Note the richer part. That doesn't mean the relationship is purely mercenary (though it could be), but it does often mean that the richer one is supposed to 'help' the younger one.

So, I think it isn't always either/or. Sometimes its both.

Proceed with whatever caution you deem warranted and assess it in the light that both want something from the relationship and it may not be the same thing even if both are fond of each other.

[a-447]

I've always been aware of the difference between being friendy and being a friend.

If I was unable to make the distinction I think I would have been disappointed many times in my relationships with Thai guys over the years.

 

[jamieb202]

16 hours ago, caeron said:

The question is what kind of friend. I think many westerners think friendship is by definition two equals. My experience is that in many other parts of the world this isn't true. These relationships come with expectations that the richer/older/wiser is the patron/mentor. Note the richer part. That doesn't mean the relationship is purely mercenary (though it could be), but it does often mean that the richer one is supposed to 'help' the younger one.

So, I think it isn't always either/or. Sometimes its both.

Proceed with whatever caution you deem warranted and assess it in the light that both want something from the relationship and it may not be the same thing even if both are fond of each other.

This is an important thought. And let's me honest. It would be wrong to see a guy you had made a genuine connection with starve for food 

[davet]

On 3/2/2024 at 5:34 AM, jamieb202 said:

This is an important thought. And let's me honest. It would be wrong to see a guy you had made a genuine connection with starve for food 

Obviously wrong. But what if it's a guy who tells a not entirely believable "sick grandmother" story or if the starvation is not for food but designer jeans and sunglasses? And what happens when you're no longer excited by him - would the friendship continue? I too have had my Pretty Woman type rom-com fantasy but it has not yet seemed feasible.