Are gays accepted or tolerated in the Land of Smiles?

[Guest mauRICE]

ACCEPTANCE TINGED WITH MOCKERY

 

Can Thai society take homosexuality just as it is with no taboos attached? asks MATT NAPARAT

 

http://www.bangkokpost.com/Perspective/10Sep2006_pers005.php

 

The assumption, I believe, both at home and abroad, is that homosexuality in Thailand is largely a non-issue. But how accurate is this claim for a country renowned for being Asia's most enlightened with regard to homosexuality?

 

I've lived abroad for a number of years, but whenever I return to Thailand for a visit, I'm often perplexed by Thai society and its fluid values. What intrigued me most on my recent visit was the release of the Thai comedy, Metrosexual, or Gang Chanee Kab E-Abb.

 

Metrosexual focuses on a group of five girlfriends living and working in Bangkok. One of them is about to marry, and the other four suspect the prospective groom may be a closeted homosexual. In short order they decide to save their friend from a sham marriage by spying on her beloved in order to find out if he is hiding his true sexuality from her.

 

Even before I saw the film, the pre-release publicity it received raised many questions for me: what is the purpose or message of the film? Is it meant to instruct women on how to detect a closeted gay man? Would the movie in some way end up promoting prejudice and discrimination against homosexuality, or would it promote new and positive attitudes?

 

But for me the most important question of all is whether Thai society can accept homosexuality as an individual sexual preference, just as heterosexuality is, with full respect and rights, and no taboos attached.

 

Metrosexual turns out to be surprisingly progressive in its attitudes toward homosexuality. A lot of its comedy arises from tired stereotypes of what gay men are like - they love to shop and decorate, they hold their pinky in the air when they drink their tea, but the final plea of the movie is that homosexuals be accepted, rather than merely tolerated, for who they are.

 

Though the movie pushes for better understanding and more social acceptance of homosexuality, the publicity and promotion surrounding Metrosexual appears to do just the opposite. TV shows have picked up on the idea of how to tell who's gay and who's not - one even drew up a list of ten songs that, if a man likes them, are sure signs that he's gay. This is not a proactive attitude for establishing a more liberal and respectful society. Instead it potentially engrains discrimination against homosexuality or, for that matter, against anyone who is different. In a way it promotes a witchhunt-like atmosphere, urging society to be alert to 'signs' of homosexuality or non-conformity.

 

Of course many Thais would say that homosexuality is already accepted in Thai society. All they have to do is point to katoeys, who are no longer so marginalised in Thai society. From the Iron Ladies volleyball players to the boxer Nong Tum to a highly visible beauty pageant queen and most recently to the katoey flight attendant Nicky, the transsexual and transvestite community - what many people now simply refer to as the transgendered community - has become much more visible and to a certain extent accepted. But just as often that acceptance is tinged with mockery, especially from the media.

 

Katoeys, because of their high profile, are in the forefront of the struggle for social acceptance. But there is still an even larger sexual minority - gay men and lesbians - who are slowly being acknowledged but far from being fairly represented and publicly respected.

 

For instance, it is fashionable to describe gay men who are not effeminate as "e-abb", short for ab-jit, which means having a hidden conscience or hiding oneself, and suggests that all gay men are effeminate, either openly or secretly. People who use the term freely say they are non-judgmental and are merely making a harmless and entertaining joke. But the use of such a negative term indicates a lack of cultural sensitivity and respect since it has a connotation of being abnormal or mentally deviant. It doesn't help matters when a respected Thai gay public figure used the very same term to classify homosexuality on television.

 

So what is wrong with this picture? For one thing, TV shows repeatedly invite transgendered figures as guests to discuss their sexual preference and decisions to become the opposite sex, but I have yet to see an ordinary man/woman who just happens to be in love with a same-sex partner on any show. Some may say that this is because all homosexuals are hiding in the closet-hence the need for a how-do-you-know-if-he's gay movie like Metrosexual. But what many do not realise is that not all gay men are effeminate nor are all lesbians butch. And this is not because they are hiding their effeminacy or masculinity either. It is simply that their appearance or behavior may not readily fit common stereotypes of what all homosexuals are like.

 

To really answer whether Thais can accept homosexuality just as it is, perhaps we need to consider if we can forego useless and outdated stereotypes and see people for who they are. There may be a natural urge to slot any person we come across into a certain sexual category, but is it anyone's fault if you can't immediately tell his or her sexuality?

 

In many ways it seems that what Thai gay men and lesbians are facing is nothing personal or intentional but merely a pattern that any minority groups must endure in order to gain social acceptance - there is first rejection, then mockery, followed by grudging tolerance and finally by true acceptance. This is the same pattern that slowly led to the acceptance of katoeys in Thai society. However, if we know that there is no denying or avoidance of such a minority - they are here, they are visible, they are a part of our society - do we need to require that gays and lesbians also suffer the very same fate of prejudice and discrimination? Can we not be as enlightened as we're thought to be and accept and coexist with gays and lesbians without ostracism or judgment?

 

The change in audience's reactions over the two-hour running time of Metrosexual suggests a possibility that Thai society may one day be able to fully accept homosexuality just as heterosexuality is accepted. The audience I saw the film with was vocally upset the first time they saw two adolescent boys being affectionate. Near the end of the movie, after its central characters have come to accept the now openly homosexual man who originally intended to marry their friend, there was another scene of the two adolescent boys hugging each other. However, this time around, the audience accepted the scene for what it was - a display of deep affection - and did not laugh or squirm or make rude noises.

 

It is obvious that it will take time and open-mindedness for people to understand and eventually accept and respect each individual's sexual preference. But I strongly believe that one of the main drives that will make that goal attainable is the media. Since it has such an influential role in people's perceptions, especially among the Thais, it will need to present an accurate and unbiased representation of gay men and lesbians. In doing so Thais will be able to determine how, when, and what kind of homosexuality can be accepted in Thailand.

 

Matt Naparat was born in Bangkok but now lives in Montreal, Canada. With an Industrial Design background, he has pursued his career in exhibit/product design for the past 2 years along with exploring his other interests, including languages and cultural differences.