First-timer: confused about how massages work

[newtobangkok123]

I'll be going to Bangkok for the first time in a few weeks. I've been reading up on the massages, and I'm still confused how this works. I'd love some clarification and if anyone wants to recommend a good place I'd love to check it out! 

So: The price list says "thai massage 500 body 2 body 1000 thb" etc - ok great. So that's the first part of the  price. Now, I know I have to tip.  Will the  price list always list the minimum tip? If not, how do I know? If it doesn't say, am I expected to know a minimum tip is required, or does their silence on the matter signal none is expected?

Once I know the minimum tip, does this tip include the happy ending? For example, one place I was looking at (Ganymede) says 900 thb body to body with a 1000 minimum tip (it's not on their website, but someone posted a photo on google reviews). Does that 1000 tip cover the "extras" ? 

My understanding is that halfway through the massage, he will ask me if I want "special" service. If I say no, I'm still on the hook for the 1000 minimum tip - correct?

If I say yes, and he says "price 1200" does that mean I owe him  1200 + the 1000 minimum tip, or do I just tip the 1200 and that covers the extra and since it's >1000, it meets the requirements?

Thanks for your help!

[scott456]

"Minimum tip" means the minimum tip you need to pay with or without happy ending.  Why would you go to this type of massage parlors if you don't want happy ending? I.e. customers in those type of establishments are expected to have happy endings, most masseurs won't even ask. You need to pay minimum tip no matter what.  So, in your example, for a body-to-body massage, price is 1000 baht, plus minimum tip 1000 baht with happy ending, your total cost is 2000 baht.  When you step in these massage parlors,  you will be greeted by a mamason, you should communicate with him any concerns you have, including what a boy will do or will not do, top or bottom...etc.

 

[newtobangkok123]

If a massage parlour does not specify a minimum tip, does that mean it is not "that kind" of parlour? 

[scott456]

30 minutes ago, newtobangkok123 said:

If a massage parlour does not specify a minimum tip, does that mean it is not "that kind" of parlour? 

OMG, I just realized you are a first time poster.  You posted a question and wait for people to feed you information, very typical of those who never contribute to this forum.  You should do your homework.  The gay sex massage places are well listed on various websites and well discussed on this forum. 

[newtobangkok123]

Yes I read it and lots of other stuff, but I still didn't understand, so I asked a question to clarify. 

I'm still not clear on whether parlours that do not ask for tips are "that kind" of parlour, hence my follow-up question.

The forum is currently accepting new registrations so I did not think being a new member was a problem. I apologize.

[Mavica]

2 hours ago, newtobangkok123 said:

Yes I read it and lots of other stuff, but I still didn't understand, so I asked a question to clarify. 

I'm still not clear on whether parlours that do not ask for tips are "that kind" of parlour, hence my follow-up question.

The forum is currently accepting new registrations so I did not think being a new member was a problem. I apologize.

Welcome to the forums.  Don't let a troll ... bully you out of here.  Give it some time for participants to offer meaningful comments / advice - point you in the right direction.  If you haven't spent the time to read through the many archived discussions, some of which answer newbie questions, please do so.  

[macaroni21]

@newtobangkok123 in Thailand's massage parlours, whether it's a place primarily for legit massages or one primarily for erotic massages, the client makes two payments. The first is to the shop. The amount will be based on the their price list depending on the service you choose. You know that already. Some shops require you to pay before the session begins, other shops are happy to take payment (for the shop) after the session.

The second payment is directly from you to the service provider. It is always made AFTER the session. Your chief question is how to know how much.

First of all, not all massage places publish minimum tips. Some do, some don't. Legit massage places almost never publish minimum tips. Erotic massage places mostly do nowadays, or if they do not publish them publicly, the receptionist will whisper to you as you pay the shop's fee. Or, there will be something stated as a footnote on the menu card. Just be alert and pay attention. The rule of thumb is that any place with a stated minimum, however stated - whether publicly published, whispered or footnoted - you can assume to be an erotic massage place where the service provider expects that you would want a happy ending, or at least to get hard.

So, to your question: Once I know the minimum tip, does this tip include the happy ending?  the answer is Yes. Also, even if you decline the offer of a happy ending during the session, the minimum applies. That's simple enough

However, regular visitors to massage parlours do not always pay just the minimum. The "how much" gets trickier. If it's a handjob, something like the minimum, plus a bit more (20%?) if you're orgasmically over the moon, will be fine. But if it was mediocre, just pay the minimum. More often than not, there is no discussion about handjobs; the service provider proceeds towards it, and you have to stop him if you do not want the session to go in that direction.

If you're into plugging holes, you will probably be having a brief discussion in the room regarding who does what to whose hole, and in the course of that discussion, the service provider may mention a figure perhaps 25-50% higher than the previously stated minimum. Naturally, if you agree, that's the new minimum for your session. (If he quotes a new figure that is 75 - 100% above the pre-session minimum, I am likely to turn it down, as such a high mark-up probably indicates an unwillingness to go that route.) Whatever you've agreed, you can tip another 20-30% more above that new minimum if you're intoxicated with delight from his services (but they don't expect that). If for some reason, there is no discussion about any new minimum, then if he bottoms, you can still use the above percentages as a guide, i.e. anything from 25 - 50% above the minimum that was stated pre-session. If he tops. I think the pre-session minimum is still the reference level (but this is not an area I am familiar with).

If it's a legit massage, my practice is to think in terms of maximum tip and then discount from there. If it was an excellent legit massage, I would apply the maximum, which would be an amount for the service provider that is the same quantum as what the shop charged for the session. However, if it was legit, but substandard, then I start discounting from the maximum. Example: I book a legit massage for 700 baht. If the guy delivers a very good massage, he gets 700 too. If not so good, then 600, or 500 and so on.

What happens if, in what looks like a legit place, the service provider also delivers a handjob in the privacy of the room? If there was a discussion in the room, then all's clear. If no discussion, then I tend to tip some kind of industry average for handjob, which, in Bangkok (since you asked about Bangkok), may be in the 1000 - 1200 range.

As with all conversations about appropriate tips, this post is going to get wild reactions from other members of the board. Some will say my ranges are too high and I am spoiling the market. More likely, others will pick up a megaphone and decry what a cheapskate I am. Without knowing who I am or which country I come from, they will say that (a) I come from a rich country, (b) I am perforce rich, and (c) I am a disgrace to humanity for failing to throw money around like Mansa Musa on his pilgrimage to Mecca.

All I can say is that my rules of thumb have worked for the hundreds of massages I have had over decades, and no service provider has said - not to my face at least - I tip too little. I simply don't believe in bragging about my wealth (if any) by showing off. I was raised by parents who taught me that showing off is very crass.

[AtlOneguy]

19 minutes ago, macaroni21 said:

 

If you're into plugging holes, you will probably be having a brief discussion in the room regarding who does what to whose hole, and in the course of that discussion, the service provider may mention a figure perhaps 25-50% higher than the previously stated minimum. Naturally, if you agree, that's the new minimum for your session. Again, you can tip another 20-30% more above that new minimum if you're intoxicated with delight from his services (but they don't expect that). If for some reason, there is no discussion about any new minimum, you can still use the above percentages as a guide, i.e. anything from 25 - 50% above the minimum that was stated pre-session.

 

I have been lurking on the forms researching for my frist trip in a couple of months and this has been a very helpful summary post. I have a list of a few places I want to try based on the thorough review on these post.  I am just curious how do you bring up top/bottoming. I know most of the ads state what they will do and if not you can let the receptionist know what you are looking for but when you get in the room, is it just a very direct coversation i.e. I am interested in topping or bottoming?  From reading the forms there seem to be two groups: 1. just go with the flow and see what happens and 2. negotiate what you want up front. I am just concerned on how to respectfully ask for what you want.

[spoon]

Just to add a bit to the comprehensive reply from @macaroni21 above.

Specifically with regard to legit massage place. As prime massage is the favorite place in silom for many,  it is a legit place that has a minimum tips stated in their menu. It is only 100 baht tips. Thus, if u see such a low minimum tips in any massage shop, its most likely tip for just the massage and nothing more. 

On the other hand, for sexual massage places, like Arena for example, has indicated in their website whats their minimum tips entails, a HJ and shower with masseur at the end. Recent visit there, after my session, the manager asked me to fill in a rating slip, and one of the question is did the masseur shower with you.

I agree that the tip range for services is a heated topic so im just stating the few cases where the shop actually spell out what u get for min tip. Some even spell out min tip for soft and hard. I wish more shop will do so.

[kokopelli3]

In Pattaya I don't recall if any massage shops list a minimum tip. However you can assume a minimum tip equal to what the massage house fee is.  Others may say much lower!  For a happy ending massage a tip to the masseur of 1000 is considered quite acceptable. Of course it could be higher or lower depending on your activities and how pleased you were.

[Londoner]

Some good advice here; I hope newtobangkok12 feels that his questions have been answered.

As a general point, we should be welcoming newbies both to Gay Thailand and to this forum. Neither will survive without such people.

[Asian traveller]

I would also advocate connecting with your target venue on Line ahead of time. I’ve found generally that you can get more info there on min tip and also set expectations on what you want. It doesn’t always work but often can

[reader]

You've received very sound advice above that covers everything you're likely to encounter on your trip. Macaron's is certainly the most detailed and comprehensive. You won't go wrong with his tip suggestions.

The only thing that I'd add is to go in feeling comfortable and at ease. If the first thing your masseur does when he enters the room is smile and introduce himself, that's an encouraging sign. If he doesn't, don't hesitate to smile and introduce yourself and offer to shake hands. Say your name and ask him his. Most guys will have enough English for that exchange. Then allow the experience to unfold.

10 hours ago, macaroni21 said:

As with all conversations about appropriate tips, this post is going to get wild reactions from other members of the board. Some will say my ranges are too high and I am spoiling the market. More likely, others will pick up a megaphone and decry what a cheapskate I am. Without knowing who I am or which country I come from, they will say that (a) I come from a rich country, (b) I am perforce rich, and (c) I am a disgrace to humanity for failing to throw money around like Mansa Musa on his pilgrimage to Mecca.

Actually, that's the signal that your tip recommendations represent the mainstream of practice. The sign of a true consensus is when what you say fully satisfies no one on either side of the debate. 🙂

[Keithambrose]

15 hours ago, newtobangkok123 said:

Yes I read it and lots of other stuff, but I still didn't understand, so I asked a question to clarify. 

I'm still not clear on whether parlours that do not ask for tips are "that kind" of parlour, hence my follow-up question.

The forum is currently accepting new registrations so I did not think being a new member was a problem. I apologize.

I don't think you need to apologise!

[Keithambrose]

7 hours ago, Londoner said:

Some good advice here; I hope newtobangkok12 feels that his questions have been answered.

As a general point, we should be welcoming newbies both to Gay Thailand and to this forum. Neither will survive without such people.

Quite!

[newtobangkok123]

Thank you everybody for your kind words and especially @macaroni21 for the detailed reply! All my questions are answered, and I fully understand what to do and what to pay. Now I just need to work up the nerve to try.. I'm currently in Phuket (Bangkok is coming up, and where I plan to start), but even walking by the massage places here was a little daunting. All the boys outside looked so bored.. and a little older than I was expecting. 

[Foolish]

41 minutes ago, newtobangkok123 said:

All the boys outside looked so bored.. and a little older than I was expecting

I'm not a massage person but some of the boys hanging outside the massage places at silom soi 6 looks cute

[forky123]

2 hours ago, newtobangkok123 said:

Thank you everybody for your kind words and especially @macaroni21 for the detailed reply! All my questions are answered, and I fully understand what to do and what to pay. Now I just need to work up the nerve to try.. I'm currently in Phuket (Bangkok is coming up, and where I plan to start), but even walking by the massage places here was a little daunting. All the boys outside looked so bored.. and a little older than I was expecting. 

Just approach them. Once they realise you're a customer a few of them will smile. Always pick one of those smiling, chances are you'll have a better time. 

[Marc K]

A smile is indeed pivotal. The smile can be read in a myriad of ways -- a) thank goodness I will get relief from my boring job, b) some much needed money might be coming my way, c) this customer seems like an honest, "jai dee" person, or d) I've learned that smiles are good for business. Of course you never quite know which of these meanings to attach to the smile, until you try. Of course one would hope it is meaning (c).

[bkkmfj2648]

Dear newtobangkok123,

I just returned from a 17 day trip to the deep south of Thailand (Songkhla and Phatthalung provinces) and the terminology that many of the guys that I met in Twitter and Hornet used the following terminology to identify the expected services:

• Outside = soft - handjob and happy ending.  Outside can also include oral sex.
• --> what I learned is that "Outside" is anything that is not about anal sex penetration
• Pricing for Outside activities was between 500 baht to 1.000 baht - with the majority at the 1.000 baht range.
• Inside = anal sex penetration - the masseur will identify if he is Active (Top - Man), Versatile, or Passive (Bottom).
• Pricing for Inside activities I was quoted in the 1.500 to 2.000 price range.

The above pricing schedule was quoted to me by guys from Songkhla, Hat Yai, and Yala for both Thai Buddhist guys and as well as Thai Muslim guys.

I did not meet or visit any of the massage shops - there are 3 in Hat Yai.  All of my connections were made using Twitter and Hornet.

[forky123]

7 hours ago, Marc K said:

A smile is indeed pivotal. The smile can be read in a myriad of ways -- a) thank goodness I will get relief from my boring job, b) some much needed money might be coming my way, c) this customer seems like an honest, "jai dee" person, or d) I've learned that smiles are good for business. Of course you never quite know which of these meanings to attach to the smile, until you try. Of course one would hope it is meaning (c).

All interactions are chance. In my experience though, you have better odds with someone who smiles at you whether fake or genuine (you can tell the difference in the eyes) rather than someone not smiling, disinterested or, worst of all, on their phone not bothering to look up.

[siriusBE]

Well said Forky. Last year I spent a few days in Jomitien (after a stay in Vietnam). On the way from the beach to the Zing Hotel, you inevitably pass Soda- and Foxy Smile Massage. Most of the people at Foxy were quite aggressive, some stood up and wanted to drag me into the establishment, whereas at Soda there was a relaxed atmosphere and people smiled at you (yes, some boy looked at their cell phones there too, but I understand that too, it's boring to sit outside all evening waiting for customers). Foxy was therefore never an issue for me... but you mileage may vary.

[vinapu]

On 1/14/2024 at 1:31 AM, newtobangkok123 said:

All my questions are answered, and I fully understand what to do and what to pay. Now I just need to work up the nerve to try...

Just do it. We all know it's a bit intimidating but one needs to start somewhere and massage it better as starting point than bar. Jump into action and in no time you will be dispensing advices.

[Londoner]

I envy anyone just starting out on  a journey such as this. I wish I were back at the beginning of mine!  Good luck.

[floridarob]

6 hours ago, Londoner said:

I envy anyone just starting out on  a journey such as this. I wish I were back at the beginning of mine!  Good luck.

I liked the "back then" and wouldn't give up those memories, I understand what you're saying though ....