The different (erotic) things we look for

[macaroni21]

Around 30 years ago, when I was much, much younger, and Pattaya was a gay paradise, my friend and I had nowhere to sit in a bar in Boyztown - was it Throb? too long ago to be sure. We had to share a table with a guy (he was alone) who didn't mind at all. In fact he probably welcomed the company and the opportunity to make conversation. I remember this incident even though it was the last century because it was the first time I had ever met someone with a foot fetish. For the better part of the time in that bar, he went on and on, and my friend and I had little to say in response.

Looking back, I should be grateful to him. He opened my then-younger eyes to the fact that all of us have wildly different tastes. Sure, growing up gay, we sort-of know that. Most of my college friends liked pussy, but the very thought of it freaked me out. However, the flip side of that sense of exclusion from the straight fellowship was to seek identity in the gay minority, yet in doing so, I must have somehow assumed that if they're gay like me, their erotic desires must therefore be similar to mine.

How wrong I was. I am sure most posters here, in their life journeys, have come to same conclusion, each of us via our individaul learning journeys, though mine was unusual in having been through a baptism of a foot monologue.

One of the most fascinating things about this board is that, in the course of members either describing their trip reports or asking questions about what to expect in places they're planning to visit, between the lines in the posts one can sense what their erotic desires are. Having had my eyes opened years ago, I've been watching this space, so to speak, and now may be a good time to throw in some ideas about what I have observed.

(I am also nervous about opening this topic because it can get controversial.)

Here I am not referring to the appeal of physique, you know, the twink-lovers, hunk-lovers, chubby chasers, etc.

There are different ways to look at desire. The first cut I can think of - and the categories are not meant to be exclusive, in fact, there is likely to be a continuum of tastes - goes like this:

1. Those who give more weight to the visual
2. Those who give more weight to the tactile
3. Those looking for a boyfriend experience (the connection of personality)

I see Group (1) among the posters whose focus lie in how the boy looks - whether he be twink or twunk or hunk or whatever. This is the market for Moonlight's models, with people ready to pay remium pricing because the guys look a certain way. I also see Group (1) in those posters who've clearly asked for information about satisfying their body worship desires, as well as in those who describe themselves as choosy about a certain "type" of partner.

The visual leaves me relatively cold, which also correlates with the fact that I don't have a specific "type" that I am looking for. Instead, I see myself as a Group (2) where the tactile pleasure is more important than the visual.In other words, it doesn't really matter what the sex worker looks like; I want the delirium of hands on body or body pressing body. Members here may have noticed that I write a lot more about massage than about offing gogo boys, for example.

Then there are posters here who ask for information about overnights or about going off to an island for a few days with someone (even temporarily) special. I call them Group (3). The boyfriend experience (even if fleeting) is at the centre of desire.

Yet another way to slice the pie is like this:

4. Genital focussed sex
5. Warm-body sex

Especially on the Latin America forum, many trip reports spotlight either insertive sex or the size of the appendage. There is hardly any description of the body that the cock is joined to. Here and there in the Thailand forum, whenever a boy is mentioned (e.g. because he was advertised on a massage site) the question is quickly Top or Bottom? I may be wrong (since I don't belong to this Group (4) but at least in my imagination, the sex that takes place has a greater emphasis on penetration (one direction or the other).

I am Group (5). The size of the appendage has rarely mattered to me (unless it's been disfigured by silicone). I have had great time swith guys (paid and unpaid) who might not have been more than 10 cm (not that I measured). Instead it's the full-body "wrestling" that's been important. As a result, those (usually straight) boys whose idea of servicing a customer is either to stand beside the bed and give a handjob or move into a penetrative position as a matter of course, have always left me utterly frustrated.

Are there other categories that others have observed?

[KYTOP]

Very good summary.

I am more of the visual type. As far as fetish, I am very much into a guy's pecs and Nipples. Much more of a turn on for me is a hot pecs with quarter size Plus nipples. I have never been a big cock person. In most cases I would rather play with a guy's nipples than their cock. Probably why I absolutely love male strippers and strip clubs.

[Lucky]

I enjoy looking at a big cock, but I don't need to be in bed with one. Give me a cute, smooth guy with a hairless asshole and a friendly smile.

[caeron]

I'm more visual, I think, but the smell of a man can make me pretty randy too.

[fedssocr]

I've never understood the foot thing, but I've never really gotten drag either. The older I get the less dogmatic I am about types. However, I would say that I am also visual first - a cute (to me) face and nice haircut get my attention. And a fit athletic body is nice to look at and explore. If I'm paying for it I think I have a bit higher standard when it comes to looks and body. But for sure I'm also very much in the tactile camp when it comes to the sexy things and gravitate more towards massage as well. I've never been into the buttsex thing so that part is all lost on me. But I am happy to oral all day long. There's definitely something to be said for simple cuddling/body contact. I think it's good for your soul and certainly releases lots of endorphins.

[Lucky]

1 hour ago, fedssocr said:

I've never been into the buttsex thing so that part is all lost on me. But I am happy to oral all day long. There's definitely something to be said for simple cuddling/body contact. I think it's good for your soul and certainly releases lots of endorphins.

You can eat butt for hours!

[reader]

7 hours ago, caeron said:

I'm more visual, I think, but the smell of a man can make me pretty randy too.

And thankfully I run into very few ASEAN guys who use cologne.

Anticipation of the promise of sexual intimacy is a big driver of my emotional responses.

[PeterRS]

From my very first visit to Thailand decades ago, I was definitely in the #1 category - visual. Nowadays i don't know how anyone can be initially anything other than visual for surely the other categories follow on from that? 

Thinking back over decades, I do not think i have ever changed. In the early days of my attending some of the now legendary go-go bars, perhaps some of the guys were not as interesting as others. But the majority for someone brought up in the west looked pretty stunning. Face was my first attraction, soon followed by a slim body and a willing smile. In terms of boys from the bars, I was never interested in size or being tactile or not, perhaps because I am the one who loves being tactile. Genital-focussed sex for me is important because I have a very obvious like and dislike. But that is never part of the first discussion.

Going off on a slight tangent, I realy liked the model for a go-go bar posted many years ago by @macaroni21's earlier incarnation. I think it could have become extremely popular. Sadly it would never have worked - partly because the owners were far too set in their ways and the b-i-b might have considered it a way to force an increase in their earnings.

And yet another short tangent, I loved the reference to "last century". I guess many of us reading this Board will soon be amongst the last to have said, "See you in the next millennium!"

[macaroni21]

3 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Nowadays i don't know how anyone can be initially anything other than visual for surely the other categories follow on from that? 

You may be on to something. I was probably a lot more the visual type when younger, in that there were certain body types and facial features I was drawn to. 

Perhaps over time, having had great sex (e.g. in saunas) with others who might not be in my visual-acceptability range, and disappointments with those who were outstanding specimens visually, I must have learnt to pay less and less attention to looks and value touch a lot more.

[vinapu]

Visual, good looking guy with great body smiling at me has an access to my heart and a wallet almost immediately. 

[TMax]

I suppose visual is part of my thing but seeing the body unclothed is more of a thing than seeing fully clothed (I guess I like to see whats underneath more), a nice smooth body (non hairy please) and nicely toned can get me really excited, especially if there is a nice cock attached (size not overly important but no silicone or mooks please). I do love oral whether its giving or receiving and preferably both at the same time (can't beat a great 69er), when it comes to sex I find the body on body contact to be an important part of it and a big turn on not just the penetration. I do have a very big turn off though and it's something that I just can't stomach and that's bad hygene, sorry but bad body odour and bad breath is a massive turn off for me.

[PeterRS]

44 minutes ago, TMax said:

I do have a very big turn off though and it's something that I just can't stomach and that's bad hygene, sorry but bad body odour and bad breath is a massive turn off for me.

Could not agree more. I did once meet a lovely looking guy in Hong Kong who eventually came back to my apartment. But he had some form of body odour that was permanent. No idea what causes that. He had tried all manner of colognes and consulted doctors but nothing worked. Very sad for him.