When was your first wai?

[10tazione]

It happened last holiday.

If my memory serves me right, I was sitting at HM Beer Bar. A guy greeted me in the typical Thai manner. And then it happened: I greeted back with a Wai. Completely unintentional and I only become aware after I have done it, and I was a bit confused ... am I spending too much time in Thailand?

Of course I watched one or the other video about how to wai correctly, but then I had decided I am a farang and it is better to greet as I am used to in the Western world.

So now my question to you is: when was your first Wai? Intentional or Unintentional?

[gayinpattaya]

Don't do it till you understand it. Good that you watched a video. 
The amount of tourists I see "wai" other westerners with their hands level with their head is funny as fuck. I shouldn't complain, we all love comedy. 
I imagine they greet street food venders as royalty also. 

[Londoner]

Never, in twenty -five years. As usual, in my first few visits I followed the advice of Michael Nottcut whose Thai Scene was my guide: he strongly discouraged it. Then , when I started being with P (who told me he'd won a competition for the best Wai in his locality!) I understood that a smile was the safer bet.  Far less complicated for both Thais and falang to understand.

I say "never" but there was one; when I was first introduced to Mama and Papa. For this momentous occasion, I was provided with detailed guidance.

[a-447]

Only once - and it was because I panicked at the time!

I was in Siam Paragon when I saw a crowd of people. Always curious (and never ever wanting to miss out!) I politely pushed myself to the front and found myself standing with the press corps. 

And what was all the fuss about? A VIP - the daughter of a Very Very VIP was opening a French cosmetic boutique.

As she chatted animately in French with the owner she headed over our way.

Our eyes met! She kept coming closer! I thought she was going to order me to move, but instead she smiled, I wai-ed and bowed very deeply. We ended up exchanging a few words in French.

French is my first language and I grew up speaking it as a child until I went to live in Japan. So I hadn't spoken it for a long while, but adrenalin kicked in and I reckon my French would have been perfect! (Lol). Hers certainly was.

After our brief conversation ended, she moved on. A security guard (who obvioudky wasn't doing his job and is probably still languishing in prison!) rushed over and told me to l leave. 

In Asia, the way you greet someone depends on your "status" in society. That it why it is rather funny to see farang who wai bar boys. It's totally inappropriate and demonstrates a lack of cultural awareness.

But no harm done.

 

 

[10tazione]

3 hours ago, a-447 said:

It's totally inappropriate

Really? I thought rather "unnecessary"?

[a-447]

2 hours ago, 10tazione said:

Really? I thought rather "unnecessary"?

Culturally inappropriate.

[gayinpattaya]

8 hours ago, a-447 said:

 

In Asia, the way you greet someone depends on your "status" in society. That it why it is rather funny to see farang who wai bar boys. It's totally inappropriate and demonstrates a lack of cultural awareness.

I've seen farang "wai" Vietnamese bar boys, which is even more funny. 

[Shonen]

Yes, just don’t do it! Looks foolish.

[12is12]

I beg to differ.

A Wai is a sign of respect and manners. Locals do it according to their traditional habits. Farangs may do it under the wrong circumstances, but EVERYONE involved knows he is doing it in order to show respect.  

I Wai bar boys and almost anyone else I come in contact with. It's a polite greeting / farewell. And if it makes anyone laugh, so b it.

[gayinpattaya]

3 minutes ago, 12is12 said:

I beg to differ.

A Wai is a sign of respect and manners. Locals do it according to their traditional habits. Farangs may do it under the wrong circumstances, but EVERYONE involved knows he is doing it in order to show respect.  

I Wai bar boys and almost anyone else I come in contact with. It's a polite greeting / farewell. And if it makes anyone laugh, so b it.

Why? In Thai culture they are below you. 
Trust me, they laugh at people like you. The joy I get from studying Thai language lol.
Please tell us at what level of hands you greet bar boys? Chin? Nose? Forehead?
Do you know their nationality? 

Do you walk around in a 50 Baht "Pattaya" tank top? 

[12is12]

I dont believe anyone anywhere is "below" me.

[scott456]

I don't wai, but I bow, smile and nod my head.  I think I am showing the same degree of respect and gratitude by doing so.  I did wai a few times before, but it always came out awkward.

[alvnv]

4 hours ago, 12is12 said:

I dont believe anyone anywhere is "below" me.

“Below” in this case should mean “younger”. You do not wai first to anyone younger (unless it’s a monk, royalty, etc.). You may return wai to a younger person (at a chest level) but you don’t have to - a nod and/or smile would suffice. 

[a-447]

When I wai-ed the VIP, suffice to say she did not wai me back - nor did she return my bow. If she had, it would have been front page news in Thailand.

Was she being impolite or disrespecting me? Was she disrespecting the crowd to whom she also did not wai or bow? Of course not. 

Let the bar guys wai to us, as for them that is perfectly natural according to their culture. We can return the greeting with a smile and a nod. 

BTW, when a bar boy turns up for work, have you ever seen those already on stage wai to him, or vice versa?

But as I said in my post above, no harm done if you wai.

Up to you.

[kokopelli3]

My Thai bf told me not to wai; I have followed his advice.

[reader]

8 hours ago, gayinpattaya said:

Trust me, they laugh at people like you. 

Trust me, they laugh at people like you.

[gayinpattaya]

12 minutes ago, reader said:

Trust me, they laugh at people like you.

oh?
You have no idea who I am.

[12is12]

They fact that Thais believe that older people should show less respect to younger ones, doesnt mean that I must do the same. I m not judgemental about their tradition, and I dont care if they laugh at my attitude.

[a-447]

38 minutes ago, 12is12 said:

They fact that Thais believe that older people should show less respect to younger ones,........

It doesn't mean that. Just like the VIP not wai-ing me doesn't mean she was displaying a lack of respect towards me. It's more complicated than that.

And although the guys might think it a bit strange that you are wai-ing them (given the cultural context), I'm sure they are not laughing at you. 

[vinapu]

For me all issue is one great of exaggeration of importance. I do wai whoever and whenever I like, If that,s laughable for them , not my issue.

Nobody ever laughed at me because I wai them , correct way or nor

[Keithambrose]

A similar point. I visited Japan a lot in business. It is not expected, that, as a gaijin, you should get involved in the somewhat intricate Japanese bowing system. Just as well, as my attempt to bow in the Japanese way would look silly! As said above, a nod of the head is fine. 

[a-447]

I always bowed - and still do - when in Japan.

[gayinpattaya]

Lot's of cultural appropriation going on here.

[scott456]

5 hours ago, vinapu said:

For me all issue is one great of exaggeration of importance. I do wai whoever and whenever I like, If that,s laughable for them , not my issue.

Nobody ever laughed at me because I wai them , correct way or nor

Sure if you are comfortable doing it, whoever and whenever.  It's better being too polite than rude.

[floridarob]

7 hours ago, gayinpattaya said:

Lot's of cultural appropriation going on here.

Says the cultural expert 🧐

 

12 hours ago, gayinpattaya said:

oh?
You have no idea who I am.

I'll bet he does....