Can We Ever Really Understand Thais?

[PeterRS]

There have been posts over the years about misunderstandings with boys from the bars and other difficulties some have found in communicating with Thais. I have been coming to the country for four decades for work, play and finally living in Bangkok, but still find Thai logic all but impossible to comprehend.

The latest incident concerns of all things air conditioning maintenance! For many years I had an annual contract with one company to come to the apartment three times a year to service three units. When they went out of business, I asked our excellent receptionist who speaks pretty good English if she could help find another company. I get on well with her, always give her a Songkran brown envelope and other little gifts from time to time. But after almost a year she could come up with none. A friend who lives in a much more luxurious condo then suggested I try their maintenance company. Although a lot more expensive, they came twice, seemed excellent, but then did not reply to calls. The receptionist tried half a dozen times before finally someone answered. The company had decided to base themselves out of Bangkok, allegedly!

In some desperation, last week I did what I should have done almost 2 years ago! I spoke to my neighbours to find out who serviced their units. It is the company run by the husband of our receptionist, they told me! So during all this time when allegedly she and also I have been trying to find an aircon contractor, her husband ran such a company yet she did not tell me! After I approached her about this to see if they could come, I assumed it would be a few weeks later. They turned up the next day, spent much longer than the other companies and as far as i know did an excellent job.

So why could she not have told me this before? I'll never understand!

[Marc K]

3 hours ago, PeterRS said:

So why could she not have told me this before? I'll never understand!

They don't call it "the inscrutable orient" for nothing, Peter. You will never know what calculation she made in not answering you. As an amateur (very amateur!) psychologist, the best I have ever been able to comprehend the thought patterns is to come to the revelation (?) that Thais compartmentalize their lives (read, thoughts) in very different ways than we do. What they are confronted with doesn't matter as long as they are not forced to confront it head on. I guess my hypothesis doesn't really help unravel your mystery, but there it is nonetheless. Maybe others, perhaps biracial and bi-cultural folks, can understand things better?

[reader]

Then there’s always the possibility that she simply enjoys seeing farang befuddled.

[spoon]

Not sure about thailand norm, but here in malaysia, we dont contract a company for aircon maintenance. At least most people i know here dont do that. We just called in service company whenever the aircon need to be serviced and they usually will come within a day or two, or if u call in the morning and they arent busy, same day. 

So if thailand is the same, probably she cant find one since you probably want a company that do a maintenance contract while her husband usually just do service as on call basis? Thats probably why she didnt recommend her husband's company? Just a guess.

[PeterRS]

55 minutes ago, spoon said:

So if thailand is the same, probably she cant find one since you probably want a company that do a maintenance contract while her husband usually just do service as on call basis? Thats probably why she didnt recommend her husband's company? Just a guess.

No, Thailand's air con service companies really want a longer term contract for a number of visits per year. That way their basic income is guaranteed. Often it is difficult to find any company to do a one-off service - as I have discovered.

[floridarob]

After 4 decades, you're still trying to figure out Thai mentality....you masochist 😝

[scott456]

Ask your Thai boys if they can or care to really understand Farangs. 

[Boy69]

Maybe the reason is very simple she didn't want to be involved because she was worried that you won't be satisfied with her husband service and preferred not to be in embarrassing situation when you are seeing her every day with grumpy look on your face while passing by the reception ...

[fedssocr]

I think that might be on the right track. Perhaps she was afraid of being accused of nepotism or was afraid that if something went wrong it would damage her relationship with you. 

Did you find out how the neighbors found out about the family business?

[PeterRS]

16 minutes ago, fedssocr said:

I think that might be on the right track. Perhaps she was afraid of being accused of nepotism or was afraid that if something went wrong it would damage her relationship with you. 

Did you find out how the neighbors found out about the family business?

She told them!

4 hours ago, Boy69 said:

Maybe the reason is very simple she didn't want to be involved because she was worried that you won't be satisfied with her husband service and preferred not to be in embarrassing situation when you are seeing her every day with grumpy look on your face while passing by the reception ...

I have never passed through reception with a grumpy face - even though there have been times I rather felt like it. I always smile at the receptionist, and as noted always give money at Songkran and other gifts. When I got my Nespresso machine, she got and was delighted with my old coffee maker. When I had a problem with a new but inexpenisve DVD player, she got it and was thrilled with it. I get flowers for her at least twice a year. Etc. And incidentally, the service by her husband's staff was considerably better than any previous contractors!

7 hours ago, scott456 said:

Ask your Thai boys if they can or care to really understand Farangs. 

My Thai partner and his friends seem to have an easier job understanding farang logic than I do understanding theirs! As @floridarob points out, after so long I have to be a masochist!

[vinapu]

8 hours ago, floridarob said:

After 4 decades, you're still trying to figure out Thai mentality....you masochist 😝

try to figure out farang mentality for a change

[PeterRS]

55 minutes ago, vinapu said:

try to figure out farang mentality for a change

Why on earth would I wish to do that? I am based in Thailand not another country. Besides, I have a pretty good idea about the principles of western logic. I studied Greek at school and have a reasonable grasp of Aristotle's theory.

[spoon]

There is also a possibility that she already felt that you have given her so much already, that she doesnt want to further extract more from you by introducing his husband's business. I think most of us will feel ashame when we recieved too much generousity from someone without ever repaying that person. 

[PeterRS]

1 minute ago, spoon said:

There is also a possibility that she already felt that you have given her so much already, that she doesnt want to further extract more from you by introducing his husband's business. I think most of us will feel ashame when we recieved too much generousity from someone without ever repaying that person. 

Keep going, @spoon. You'll get it right eventually, I'm sure.

[reader]

Knowing you’re gay, she may fear that you’ll make a move on her husband if he came to service your unit.

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, reader said:

Knowing you’re gay, she may fear that you’ll make a move on her husband if he came to service your unit.

you hit the nail !!!

[10tazione]

8 hours ago, Boy69 said:

Maybe the reason is very simple she didn't want to be involved because she was worried that you won't be satisfied with her husband service and preferred not to be in embarrassing situation when you are seeing her every day with grumpy look on your face while passing by the reception ...

That would have been my suggestion too!

Or maybe even simpler, she doesnt love her husband that much anynore?

[PeterRS]

2 hours ago, reader said:

Knowing you’re gay, she may fear that you’ll make a move on her husband if he came to service your unit.

Worthy try, I suppose. But given that she is over 50 and he is probably 60 or so . . . 

[floridarob]

4 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

Worthy try, I suppose. But given that she is over 50 and he is probably 60 or so . . . 

Maybe she's met Olddaddy before and doesn't want to take another chance 😝

[PeterRS]

Just now, floridarob said:

Maybe she's met Olddaddy before and doesn't want to take another chance 😝

Now THAT I can understand 🤣

[reader]

36 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

Worthy try, I suppose. But given that she is over 50 and he is probably 60 or so . . . 

Older contractors always travel with young apprentice to handle the dirty chores. 

Maybe he’ll allow you to explore his tool box.

 

[PeterRS]

3 hours ago, reader said:

Older contractors always travel with young apprentice to handle the dirty chores. 

Maybe he’ll allow you to explore his tool box.

Given that two of the workers did the maintenance on Saturday, I can confirm that both were well into their 50s! In over 20 years I have never seen any young apprentice (unless those over 40ish are considered young) when air conditioning has been serviced.

[fedssocr]

that doesn't seem to bode well for Thailand's future

[Keithambrose]

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Given that two of the workers did the maintenance on Saturday, I can confirm that both were well into their 50s! In over 20 years I have never seen any young apprentice (unless those over 40ish are considered young) when air conditioning has been serviced.

The young apprentice is likely confined to the porn movies!

[vinapu]

6 hours ago, PeterRS said:

 (unless those over 40ish are considered young) 

yes, tell somebody over 40 he is old anywhere and soon you will learn how your grandmother behaved when she was  in the primary school