Cheer and moaning in land of smiles - 2023 trip report

[vaughn]

"when you come back bb"
"come see me soon krap"
"new iphone come out darling, can you buy me my phone break"

The waiting back home for the next trip is always the worst, with loving messages of past flings sporadically appearing in Line, they must really miss me. Lucky for me the wait is over and i'm back in the thick of it once again, dodging the guys I should've known better to avoid in the first place while chasing down the new and shiny ones that will soon become the former.

This report will be breaking some of my own rules, after one previous live report was shown to a guy i was with, i told myself i will never do a live report again.. but here we are, so if you ever feel the urge to show my ramblings to anyone.. just don't! i've got enough headaches in my life. I'm going to do my best to protect the identities of myself and my acquaintances, let's all play nice and respect that.

I'm going to be adding to this report over the next few months, how long, i still don't know because i've quit my job and decided i'll go spend time travelling around SEA as long as I want/need/can. I'm here for twinks, relaxation, food and sights.. in that order.
I’m posting in the Thailand forum, but it will venture out into the unknown at a later date.

 

--- Start of Bangkok ---
Window shades up, tray tables locked, seats in upright positions.. there will be no further safety instruction, here i go.

I had been dealing with a whirlwind of issues before my departure date which saw me flying around my home country for the days before I was set to embark on my longest ever trip, the stress of it all and flights to and fro really messed with my ability to plan this trip. So there i was about to check-in to my Thai Airways direct to BKK without a plan or even an onward flight booking, while waiting in queue i quickly book a flight to Cambodia for 29 days later. ok that should get me past immigration, turns out my Thai airways check-in agent asked if i had an onward flight, but just took my word for it and no one ever asked to see it. 

Thai airways is a solid 8/10 carrier as usual, older planes but service is good and the food was better than i remembered. My only real issue was one of my own doing, i dropped the left airpod out of my ear mid-flight and rather than waking the seatmate next to me i decided to search for it when we land. well, when we landed it was nowhere to be found even with the help of several flight attendants. 
So i'm day one into my trip with half a set of headphones, a pocket full of baht and no clue.

I activate my AIS eSIM (900baht for 5G 30 days/50GB), for reference the comparable AIS SIM at the airport booth i spotted was 2000 baht. I already had baht in my wallet from my last trip so i head down to the taxis and onward to Le Meridien.
First order of business, massage.

I did the Surawong lap, down through the Tawan dogleg and past nineteen. Lots of bums on seats and offers but none that really caught my eye. I decided to head back to one of the mixed male/female shops where there was a guy that could meet my needs in low light conditions. 

Note: now before i tell this story, be aware that i know there were multiple junctures where i could have changed the outcome... i know this.. i am as the french would say Le Idiote (i dont know french). 

I approach the massage shop up to the guy of my interest and the mamasam (i assume) intervenes and asks if i want massage, well yes, I say and point at 60 minutes oil massage while looking and smiling toward the guy i like. she says 'follow me', off i go expecting him to tail in behind me, I pay my 600 baht at the register and right after I've paid I look behind me to discover a Shrek lookalike had followed me in... oh bother. 
I am far too polite to reject this poor lad grinning at me from ear to ear after i had just paid right in front of him, ladyboy mamasan had disappeared  shouting something toward the front of the store the second after i paid, i'm standing there shell shocked while Shrek stomps up the stairs. Ok, suck it up... it's just a massage, maybe he won't try anything, at least his hands look strong.. reassuring myself as i sheepishly creak up the stairs.

I shower in the piss smelling washroom, wrap the towel around my waist and walk towards the curtained 'room' with Shrek guarding the stairs so i can't make a run for it (presumably). Ok face first into the massage bed and out comes the oil, enough oil to fill a tanker evading sanctions, but at least the massage was strong. The reach under didn't take long, oh no, i press my pelvis against the bed, he starts rubbing his (thankfully clothed) dick against my arm and hands as i try to tuck my arms closer into my body... the hints just aren't reaching.

The turn... well, it was inevitable at this point. I close my eyes and do everything in my mental power to remain soft to not encourage this any further (the places my mind had to go will remain unsaid), the thought does cross my mind if this has moved into assault territory as my balls are getting fondled for a good 5 minutes, but let's not dwell on it, I knew what i'm getting myself into by not backing out earlier. I am successful against all attempts from him to make me hard so he can offer the extras, clenched my eyes closed and let out a little sigh of relief when he gave up. Time to shower the buckets of oil off me, it doesn't work, the oil is immune to water and soap, i'm a baby penguin after and oil spill.

I return to the room and he's gone, i guess he didn't want to stick around to see if i would tip (i was going to give him something small as a gesture of good will). i go downstairs and put my shoes on, grit my teeth through a smile to the mamasan then go straight to 7/11 to buy a packet of cigarettes.

I need to process this so i headed to the safety of the highly regarded foodland restaurant, on my way a cute waiter tout outside one of the bars grabs at my arm but the oil.. his hand can't get a good grip as i tell him 'not tonight sorry'. What a sight i must have been, half wet hair, covered in oil, cigarette hanging from my mouth, pale and wide eyed like i've just seen a car crash. 
I eat my chicken cashew, shaking my head, exhausted... what a start to my trip, surely it's going to get better from here

[vaughn]

I had arranged my airbnb from day 2, so in the morning I head out to go meet the host and pickup my keys. The room is ok I guess, but I’m starting to wonder who got the idea of misleading sizes in their photos first, grindr or Airbnb. Not to worry, it has a bed, a washing machine and a friendly security guard at the front.

My second arrangement for the day was due to catch his flight from hometown into BKK that afternoon, he is a non-mb in the traditional sense and someone I’ve known for a couple of years now. The expectation from him is generally gifts in exchange for BFE. He stayed with me for about a week and well, I guess his actual boyfriend in farangland may have caught on (to me or one of the others he runs off with) because there was some significant mood change and not much action after day 2 after some private phone calls happened. I got the real BFE from then on, no sex just me buying dinner every night.

As the arrangement had stopped meeting my expectations the gifts stopped. I did of course still enjoy this time with him, we did a bit of restaurant hopping and markets and things, nothing too exciting or noteworthy but always nice to have pleasant company and a translator with a cute smile.  Eventually after his planned trip is over, I get him back to BKK airport and he’s on a flight back to farangland to live happily ever after with visa sponsor #1.

Off to the Apple store to get a replacement airpod, 2500 baht and a few minutes of dodging tables of people touching the new colour ‘same same but different’ phone and I’m out of there into torrential downpours. Oh, this is the rainy season I’ve heard so much about. I’m not one to wade through floodwaters so I spent the night inside wondering what could have been if I decided to outbid the farangland bf, not at the very start of my trip was my conclusion. I should wait at least 2 weeks before I fall in love with ‘definitely not’ a moneyboy again.

I need a good cleanse from all this relationship drama being near me, so I’m off to Pattaya to indulge in some long cigarettes, survey the financial market for investments and see what falls in my lap. Next update sometime soon
 

[omega]

Choices were made, we live and learn

 

[DenverDude]

4 hours ago, vaughn said:

I look behind me to discover a Shrek lookalike had followed me in

This reminds me a little bit of my first trip to Thailand.  I was in Phuket and went to a massage place, told them I wanted a male therapist.  I'm confident the mamasan understood but after I'm on the table a female comes in the room.  I kind of threw a fit, and a male was then sent in.  Sadly the massage was just a massage, and a very mediocre one at that.

[vaughn]

6 minutes ago, DenverDude said:

This reminds me a little bit of my first trip to Thailand.  I was in Phuket and went to a massage place, told them I wanted a male therapist.  I'm confident the mamasan understood but after I'm on the table a female comes in the room.  I kind of threw a fit, and a male was then sent in.  Sadly the massage was just a massage, and a very mediocre one at that.

Probably the right course of action for my future reference. The mixed male and female shops have always been hit and miss for me, but i never learn my lesson.

[macaroni21]

I too have had a case where I mistakenly assumed that the guy who welcomed me into the shop would be the masseur, only to be assigned another. Fortunately the other one wasn't a woman.  The story is in my blog: "This boy cannot," she said

[DenverDude]

42 minutes ago, macaroni21 said:

The story is in my blog: "This boy cannot," she said

That's hilarious, thanks for sharing.

[vinapu]

15 hours ago, vaughn said:

So i'm day one into my trip with half a set of headphones, a pocket full of baht 

better than other way arround

thank you for report, fun reading but I suspect also fun writing

[Boy69]

19 hours ago, vaughn said:

approach the massage shop up to the guy of my interest and the mamasam (i assume) intervenes and asks if i want massage, well yes, I say and point at 60 minutes oil massage while looking and smiling toward the guy i like. she says 'follow me', off i go expecting him to tail in behind me, I pay my 600 baht at the register and right after I've paid I look behind me to discover a Shrek lookalike had followed me in... oh bother. 

You should make sure to receive the guy who caught your interest before paying. 

[floridarob]

24 minutes ago, Boy69 said:

You should make sure to receive the guy who caught your interest before paying. 

I'm VERY clear about who's going to do the massage, and not shy...it's Bangkok, they've seen it all......

[Shonen]

Yes, I would have made sure the boy I wanted followed me, or said right away I wanted the other boy, not the one pushed on me.

To not embarrass the one waiting for you, just say, oh you’re nice but I only wanted the one who called me in.

I made the mistake at Foxy message in Jomtien to Take whoever they sent in to the room. A man about 45 or 50 came in. Never again.

[Boy69]

I am not a fan of massage parlors did it only twice , I just went straight to the guy I wanted and asked him specifically if he is available paid and went to the room with him . Didn't faced any problem .

[KeepItReal]

5 hours ago, Boy69 said:

I am not a fan of massage parlors did it only twice , I just went straight to the guy I wanted and asked him specifically if he is available paid and went to the room with him . Didn't faced any problem .

I like to "keep it real" but that may be a little too "real" for me. I am direct, but that is beyond my approach. Lol

I do get annoyed when they play games like substituting the guy I selected with someone else. Just say thank you and leave. They get the message. 

[Marc K]

On 9/27/2023 at 9:28 PM, DenverDude said:

This reminds me a little bit of my first trip to Thailand.  I was in Phuket and went to a massage place, told them I wanted a male therapist.  I'm confident the mamasan understood but after I'm on the table a female comes in the room.  I kind of threw a fit, and a male was then sent in.  Sadly the massage was just a massage, and a very mediocre one at that.

Haha I have another Phuket story: My BH and I were in Patong and wanted a foot massage. We go to this (mixed) massage place and duly pay for a foot massage when this buxom woman is haphazardly assigned to my BH. The woman, doing a foot massage mind you, somehow managed to get her tits on his face, hoping I'm sure for a big tip! Instead I see him turning green and I thought he was going to puke, haha. We still joke about the "Phuket Massage" years later! Oh my.

[neil]

Foot massage with tits on face! That's something memorable.. lol

[Boy69]

5 hours ago, Marc K said:

Haha I have another Phuket story: My BH and I were in Patong and wanted a foot massage. We go to this (mixed) massage place and duly pay for a foot massage when this buxom woman is haphazardly assigned to my BH. The woman, doing a foot massage mind you, somehow managed to get her tits on his face, hoping I'm sure for a big tip! Instead I see him turning green and I thought he was going to puke, haha. We still joke about the "Phuket Massage" years later! Oh my.

What is BH ?

[Vessey]

On 9/27/2023 at 10:46 AM, vaughn said:

"when you come back bb"
"come see me soon krap"
"new iphone come out darling, can you buy me my phone break"

The waiting back home for the next trip is always the worst, with loving messages of past flings sporadically appearing in Line, they must really miss me. Lucky for me the wait is over and i'm back in the thick of it once again, dodging the guys I should've known better to avoid in the first place while chasing down the new and shiny ones that will soon become the former.

This report will be breaking some of my own rules, after one previous live report was shown to a guy i was with, i told myself i will never do a live report again.. but here we are, so if you ever feel the urge to show my ramblings to anyone.. just don't! i've got enough headaches in my life. I'm going to do my best to protect the identities of myself and my acquaintances, let's all play nice and respect that.

I'm going to be adding to this report over the next few months, how long, i still don't know because i've quit my job and decided i'll go spend time travelling around SEA as long as I want/need/can. I'm here for twinks, relaxation, food and sights.. in that order.
I’m posting in the Thailand forum, but it will venture out into the unknown at a later date.

 

--- Start of Bangkok ---
Window shades up, tray tables locked, seats in upright positions.. there will be no further safety instruction, here i go.

I had been dealing with a whirlwind of issues before my departure date which saw me flying around my home country for the days before I was set to embark on my longest ever trip, the stress of it all and flights to and fro really messed with my ability to plan this trip. So there i was about to check-in to my Thai Airways direct to BKK without a plan or even an onward flight booking, while waiting in queue i quickly book a flight to Cambodia for 29 days later. ok that should get me past immigration, turns out my Thai airways check-in agent asked if i had an onward flight, but just took my word for it and no one ever asked to see it. 

Thai airways is a solid 8/10 carrier as usual, older planes but service is good and the food was better than i remembered. My only real issue was one of my own doing, i dropped the left airpod out of my ear mid-flight and rather than waking the seatmate next to me i decided to search for it when we land. well, when we landed it was nowhere to be found even with the help of several flight attendants. 
So i'm day one into my trip with half a set of headphones, a pocket full of baht and no clue.

I activate my AIS eSIM (900baht for 5G 30 days/50GB), for reference the comparable AIS SIM at the airport booth i spotted was 2000 baht. I already had baht in my wallet from my last trip so i head down to the taxis and onward to Le Meridien.
First order of business, massage.

I did the Surawong lap, down through the Tawan dogleg and past nineteen. Lots of bums on seats and offers but none that really caught my eye. I decided to head back to one of the mixed male/female shops where there was a guy that could meet my needs in low light conditions. 

Note: now before i tell this story, be aware that i know there were multiple junctures where i could have changed the outcome... i know this.. i am as the french would say Le Idiote (i dont know french). 

I approach the massage shop up to the guy of my interest and the mamasam (i assume) intervenes and asks if i want massage, well yes, I say and point at 60 minutes oil massage while looking and smiling toward the guy i like. she says 'follow me', off i go expecting him to tail in behind me, I pay my 600 baht at the register and right after I've paid I look behind me to discover a Shrek lookalike had followed me in... oh bother. 
I am far too polite to reject this poor lad grinning at me from ear to ear after i had just paid right in front of him, ladyboy mamasan had disappeared  shouting something toward the front of the store the second after i paid, i'm standing there shell shocked while Shrek stomps up the stairs. Ok, suck it up... it's just a massage, maybe he won't try anything, at least his hands look strong.. reassuring myself as i sheepishly creak up the stairs.

I shower in the piss smelling washroom, wrap the towel around my waist and walk towards the curtained 'room' with Shrek guarding the stairs so i can't make a run for it (presumably). Ok face first into the massage bed and out comes the oil, enough oil to fill a tanker evading sanctions, but at least the massage was strong. The reach under didn't take long, oh no, i press my pelvis against the bed, he starts rubbing his (thankfully clothed) dick against my arm and hands as i try to tuck my arms closer into my body... the hints just aren't reaching.

The turn... well, it was inevitable at this point. I close my eyes and do everything in my mental power to remain soft to not encourage this any further (the places my mind had to go will remain unsaid), the thought does cross my mind if this has moved into assault territory as my balls are getting fondled for a good 5 minutes, but let's not dwell on it, I knew what i'm getting myself into by not backing out earlier. I am successful against all attempts from him to make me hard so he can offer the extras, clenched my eyes closed and let out a little sigh of relief when he gave up. Time to shower the buckets of oil off me, it doesn't work, the oil is immune to water and soap, i'm a baby penguin after and oil spill.

I return to the room and he's gone, i guess he didn't want to stick around to see if i would tip (i was going to give him something small as a gesture of good will). i go downstairs and put my shoes on, grit my teeth through a smile to the mamasan then go straight to 7/11 to buy a packet of cigarettes.

I need to process this so i headed to the safety of the highly regarded foodland restaurant, on my way a cute waiter tout outside one of the bars grabs at my arm but the oil.. his hand can't get a good grip as i tell him 'not tonight sorry'. What a sight i must have been, half wet hair, covered in oil, cigarette hanging from my mouth, pale and wide eyed like i've just seen a car crash. 
I eat my chicken cashew, shaking my head, exhausted... what a start to my trip, surely it's going to get better from here

Great start !,

I loved both your humour and your writing style  

[omega]

3 hours ago, Boy69 said:

What is BH ?

I would guess "better half"

[scott456]

On 10/6/2023 at 10:58 PM, Marc K said:

Haha I have another Phuket story: My BH and I were in Patong and wanted a foot massage. We go to this (mixed) massage place and duly pay for a foot massage when this buxom woman is haphazardly assigned to my BH. The woman, doing a foot massage mind you, somehow managed to get her tits on his face, hoping I'm sure for a big tip! Instead I see him turning green and I thought he was going to puke, haha. We still joke about the "Phuket Massage" years later! Oh my.

Please be sympathetic,  the woman must have been breast feeding her child and does this tits-to-face thing as a reflex subconsciously.  OP's BH could have just played along and sucked on the tit. 🤭

[scott456]

On 9/27/2023 at 7:41 AM, macaroni21 said:

I too have had a case where I mistakenly assumed that the guy who welcomed me into the shop would be the masseur, only to be assigned another. Fortunately the other one wasn't a woman.  The story is in my blog: "This boy cannot," she said

I actually hired the greeter boy at a bar in Phuket.  He was holding and waving a flag to get customers/pedestrians to come in bar.  I told the manager I want to off him.  It tool a while for the manager to sort it out, because this is a regular boy, not a bar boy, they need to find a replacement guy to hold his flag so I can take him.

[vaughn]

Onward to Pattaya, I opted for a new mode of transport (for me), the bus from BKK to Jomtien for 165 baht. It was on time, no issues and I got some free entertainment. 

I boarded the bus and made my way up the aisle to find someone sitting in my selected window seat, not to worry, it’s a short trip I’ll survive. Then he begins playing football youtube videos on his phone with the sound up, ok I’ve got my airpods back I’ll play some music. After 10 minutes of his videos he opens up the line contacts and starts messaging the girls to meet while facing his phone directly at me, ok I’m locked in now, pour me some tea.

First Reply: “I cannot I visit my mom until 30^th”
Damn, I’m sure that’s who she’s with.

After about 10 minutes and multiple chats going nowhere, he’s got one replying, I try not to smirk as he is trying to negotiate bareback with this girl with his phone centimetres from my face on full brightness. Long story short, she basically made him jump through hoops for 30 minutes while he tries to convince her, then she drops “2000 baht you pay in advance now”.

I’m screaming internally DO NOT FUCKING DO IT, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF BUDDHA! Thankfully, he seems to have given up at that, he rests his head on his clenched fist and leans against MY window looking out in sorrow. cheer up lad, you're on your way to a buyers market.

Overall, the bus trip was fine, it took about the same amount of time as my usual Nam’s trip at a tenth of the cost. I jumped on a mototaxi with my backpack and headed into Jomtien complex where I had booked my stay, I could have walked it from the bus station, but it was hot and I hadn’t eaten all day so I’ll overpay for the 1 minute ride.

In the mornings/afternoons when i rise I usually find my perch at O’Delicies or Dicks with breakfast and some coffee while I watch the Soda massage arrivals. There were anywhere from 10-20 on any given day, two of which i promptly added to my mental note 'hitlist'.

I've got another massage story... same rules, i know mistakes etc etc.

My first massage at Soda I'd call my redemption massage, the massage itself was lacking but finding a twink to give a strong thorough massage is not an easy task. He was ok though, and we made our way around the room in a flurry of suspicious noise-invoking moves before I tipped him for his performative dance. As i'm getting dressed he drops a "i love you" and i chose to ignore it (this will be red flag #1 for later reference).

The next day as i saunter up looking for the other name on my mental hitlist i see the second guy but he's sporting a bloody nose, tissues rammed up there and head tilted back. I'm not going to risk that coming undone for my massage, so i request day 1 guy again and off we go. The massage itself was fine, the turn and dance was good, but then he asks to exchange line and i reluctantly add him knowing it's just going to be money requests later. The moment after i leave the shop my phone is blowing up with i love you, what you do later, all kinds of love bombing emojis.

I don't have love on the mind so i decide to ignore the messages, well that just makes it worse apparently, now its turned to 'why dont you reply, why dont you love me, am i bitch', it goes on. All very dramatic for a guy i've known for 2 hours, half of that time having face planted in a table. 

I block him knowing that I have to walk past this shop multiple times a day, and oh boy, the dirty looks every time i step foot out of my hotel. I decided i might give Soda a cooldown period so i don't get stabbed.

The usual suspects were at the host bars in the evenings in Jomtien, some were good looking, some were too pushy, but plenty of opportunities.

I did find myself bored in Jomtien complex for the first time though and I was having issues at Agate with my Russian straight couple neighbours on the other side of the paper-thin walls. I'm not sure if it's a low-season phenomenon or if straights don't look at where they're staying, but the demographics of Agate were a lot different than my previous trips, I felt like the only gay in the village and the hotel looked to be fully booked.

The neighbour couple certainly were not fans of what i was doing with one of my regulars right as they sat down to eat dinner in their room one evening, I don't speak Russian but i got a good sense of what they were saying. Of course my regular who loves a bit of playful banter took it upon himself to turn it up a notch both with his vocals and the slapping sounds. I couldn't stop him if i tried, but he is the reason i can no longer look them in the eyes when i step out onto my balcony.

Time to leave, I've done enough to Jomtien for the time being. I hop on the baht bus and venture off to stay in Boyztown and spend some time at my favourite little gogo in Sunee.

[vinapu]

8 hours ago, scott456 said:

Please be sympathetic,  the woman must have been breast feeding her child and does this tits-to-face thing as a reflex subconsciously.  OP's BH could have just played along and sucked on the tit. 🤭

and tip accordingly

[vinapu]

8 hours ago, scott456 said:

I actually hired the greeter boy at a bar in Phuket.  He was holding and waving a flag to get customers/pedestrians to come in bar.  I told the manager I want to off him.  It tool a while for the manager to sort it out, because this is a regular boy, not a bar boy, they need to find a replacement guy to hold his flag so I can take him.

Good you brought it up.

It 's generally assumed that all stuff can be offed and this is almost true but few times I came across the situation when I was interested in barker  / receptionist / waiter and I was told that he will not go with customers. In fact,  that applies also to selected show boys, rarely but it does. 

So if we are interested and boy doesn't wear a number (number is sure sign boy is for grabs) we need to be discreet and ask boy in question or mamasan about his  availability.  Sometimes yes , sometimes no, at other times yes but only after bar closes or after the show. 

Even if unsuccessful don't give up. When passing by next time  , greet the guy, force small tip on him , rinse and repeat. At one point , today or on Wednesday he may whisper " do you have a Line ?"  , then you are home if you don't blow it. 

[floridarob]

1 minute ago, vinapu said:

that applies also to selected show boys, rarely but it does. 

Just happened to me at X-Boys in Pattaya...one guy was dancing naked and drinking after the show, when they lower the drinks to 100 baht, was the one I was interested in. Had fun talking/joking with him, and he said he's not gay and doesn't do offs.....I told him me either. Mamasan said he's a show boy and not a go-go 😒

[vinapu]

11 minutes ago, floridarob said:

Just happened to me at X-Boys in Pattaya...one guy was dancing naked and drinking after the show, when they lower the drinks to 100 baht, was the one I was interested in. Had fun talking/joking with him, and he said he's not gay and doesn't do offs.....I told him me either. Mamasan said he's a show boy and not a go-go 😒

next time you there , try to have another go if you still like him. He may have rent to pay or simple may be thrilled that somebody likes him to extend to be so persistent. I know first hand what I'm talking about , not that boy or bar but similar situation.  "I like you like me, you have Line?"