Picking a BF

[TotallyOz]

I told a few of the massage boys I was looking for a BF and not a massage and they have all been telling me how they are gay and love me and want to live with me and be the boyfriend. One high at the top is a boy I love watching getting fucked and fucking others. He is from Laos and just loves sex. But, little English. Another is a Thai lad. But, looking forward to seeing who comes out of the woodworks in the coming months.

[PeterRS]

What happened to all the others? 😵 Or is this just another to add to the harem? 🙏 (couldn't resist!

[TotallyOz]

44 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

What happened to all the others? 😵 Or is this just another to add to the harem? 🙏 (couldn't resist!

BF #1 says I am a pain in the ass and wants someone to help.  

Or, I say he is getting old and need younger blood.

You pick which one you believe.

[ChristianPFC]

10 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

One high at the top is a boy I love watching getting fucked and fucking others.

Can you tell more how to arrange this and at what cost?

[floridarob]

8 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

BF #1 says I am a pain in the ass and wants someone to help.

Translation= he doesn't want to be the only one pushing your ass around in a wheelchair and changing your diapers.....I tease my bf about his future with me a lot and what to expect 😉

[TotallyOz]

3 hours ago, ChristianPFC said:

Can you tell more how to arrange this and at what cost?

I wrote about them here. I found them during Covid and keep seeing them.

[12is12]

TO, do u mean u r waiting for a suitable english speaking guy to "come out of the woodworks"? 

I m very intetested in such a BF. If u gain any wisdom on the topic, pls share.....

[vinapu]

16 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

BF #1 says I am a pain in the ass

next time you fuck him try to be more gentle or remove that mook from your cock as it may be hurting him

[Boy69]

9 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

I wrote about them here. I found them during Covid and keep seeing them.

From what I read You are not quite the loyal serious boyfriend material , when you say looking for BF I assume you mean long term escort ... 

[Londoner]

Best of luck....plenty of long term escorts around. If the money is right. Boyfriends are a different matter and require commitments from both parties.

[TotallyOz]

The term Boyfriend means many different things to everyone. Gay men are whores. All of them. Or, 95% of them. Commitment is to each other but not to monogamy. Anyone that thinks their partner is monogamous is a bit nutty IMHO. 

[floridarob]

2 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

Gay men are whores.

Strike the word gay....

[12is12]

When I use the term BF in our world of paid companionship, 

I refer to "quality" young men who can hold a conversation and b interesting beyond bed and sex. 

Which is also the reason I focused on TO's mention of "but little english". 

If anyone knows where and how to find such men, or better yet - share contact info of specific ones, pls do so. 

[Boy69]

6 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

The term Boyfriend means many different things to everyone. Gay men are whores. All of them. Or, 95% of them. Commitment is to each other but not to monogamy. Anyone that thinks their partner is monogamous is a bit nutty IMHO. 

I don't know from where you took this statistics @Londoner has long term Boyfriend and I agree with him this require commitment,  looking for someone to 'play' with him for long-term doesn't making him a Boyfriend.  there is nothing to do with monogamy a gay couple can be boyfriends but in open relationships and fuck others or participate together with others in sex .

 

7 hours ago, Londoner said:

Best of luck....plenty of long term escorts around. If the money is right. Boyfriends are a different matter and require commitments from both parties.

 

[TotallyOz]

5 hours ago, Boy69 said:

I don't know from where you took this statistics @Londoner has long term Boyfriend and I agree with him this require commitment,  looking for someone to 'play' with him for long-term doesn't making him a Boyfriend.  there is nothing to do with monogamy a gay couple can be boyfriends but in open relationships and fuck others or participate together with others in sex .

I took the stats from experienced researchers who know gay men.

Play and BF are not the same. But, yes, everyone defines the relationship different and different rules apply to different couples. However, monogamy is never a rule is the followed. It could be sex with a third or separate holidays. Or, whatever. But, don't equate play with BF or BF with monogamy and I'm OK with the rest.

[vinapu]

8 hours ago, Boy69 said:

I don't know from where you took this statistics 

 

97.83 % of statistics are made on the spot

[Londoner]

I am making a plea to be more selective in our language when describing relationships. I had a great time for nine years as a butterfly- in fact, there are some activities that I miss, such as bar-hopping. However, then and now are entirely different , not just for me but for my partner, who sees things from what could be called "the other side."

[12is12]

"BF experience" is a widely accepted term, used by escorts worldwide in their lists of potential services.

[TotallyOz]

8 hours ago, vinapu said:

97.83 % of statistics are made on the spot

Please point to the research document that states this!

[PeterRS]

On 9/18/2023 at 4:59 PM, TotallyOz said:

The term Boyfriend means many different things to everyone. Gay men are whores. All of them. Or, 95% of them. Commitment is to each other but not to monogamy. Anyone that thinks their partner is monogamous is a bit nutty IMHO. 

I agree with the first sentence. For some, a boyfriend is in effect a long-term partner where the two share a life, live together, perhaps are married but have certainly been together for many years. For others, like me, a committed relationship may be over a shorter period of time where we do not live together but spend one or two days/nights a week together. In our case, this is basically because my boyfriend's work is very far from my condo. This will change as he is about to fulfil his dream of a masters degree at a European University and then a good job somewhere on the continent. Such is a problem sometimes faced by those with much younger boyfriends.

Then there are those in a committed relationship but who live in different countries. And so on.

But I disagree with @TotallyOz when he suggests that 95% of "boyfriends" are "whores". That may be true of some or even many, but it is certainly not true of even 95%. When I met my boyfriend chatting through an app suggested to him by a gay friend, he had never been to any gay venue and never met another man for sex. Since we met, we have never been to any bar or spa or whatever. He does sometimes go out with gay Thai friends, but the furthest he gets is drinks at Balcony bar. 

On the other hand, if by "whore" @TotallyOz means one party pays cash to the other, then this has to be partly true when one party comes from a relatively wealthy background - relative to the background of the other. It is ridiculous to suggest that each pay his own way when dining out, going to iMax movies, travelling both in Thailand and overseas. But in my view that is not and can not be equated to "whoring". Besides there are some partnerships I know of where the Thai may be 40 years younger than the farang but is considerably more wealthy. Does that make the farang a whore?

So to carp over the meaning of the word "boyfriend" is, I think, totally unnecessary and pointless.

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

Please point to the research document that states this!

ooops ! you got me,  it was supposed to be 96.41%

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

there are some partnerships I know of where the Thai may be 40 years younger than the farang but is considerably more wealthy. Does that make the farang a whore?

 

yes and nothing wrong with that

[TotallyOz]

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

I agree with the first sentence. For some, a boyfriend is in effect a long-term partner where the two share a life, live together, perhaps are married but have certainly been together for many years. For others, like me, a committed relationship may be over a shorter period of time where we do not live together but spend one or two days/nights a week together. In our case, this is basically because my boyfriend's work is very far from my condo. This will change as he is about to fulfil his dream of a masters degree at a European University and then a good job somewhere on the continent. Such is a problem sometimes faced by those with much younger boyfriends.

Then there are those in a committed relationship but who live in different countries. And so on.

But I disagree with @TotallyOz when he suggests that 95% of "boyfriends" are "whores". That may be true of some or even many, but it is certainly not true of even 95%. When I met my boyfriend chatting through an app suggested to him by a gay friend, he had never been to any gay venue and never met another man for sex. Since we met, we have never been to any bar or spa or whatever. He does sometimes go out with gay Thai friends, but the furthest he gets is drinks at Balcony bar. 

On the other hand, if by "whore" @TotallyOz means one party pays cash to the other, then this has to be partly true when one party comes from a relatively wealthy background - relative to the background of the other. It is ridiculous to suggest that each pay his own way when dining out, going to iMax movies, travelling both in Thailand and overseas. But in my view that is not and can not be equated to "whoring". Besides there are some partnerships I know of where the Thai may be 40 years younger than the farang but is considerably more wealthy. Does that make the farang a whore?

So to carp over the meaning of the word "boyfriend" is, I think, totally unnecessary and pointless.

My meaning of whore was not a money one. It was simply meant as men are pigs. Or, sluts. Or, incapable of monogamy. Not, that is not 100%. Like others said, about 94%.

I didn't mean one party pays cash for the other. But, in every relationship someone brings something to the table. One may have more money, one may have better looks, one may be smarter. It is always a give and take as it should be.

For me, boyfriend just means companion. Often sexual in the first desires but they would never stay long with me if there wasn't more than that. Most of my BF has been 5-20 years. So, I must be doing something right (and jealousy is not part of my nature because as I said, all men are whores).

[floridarob]

3 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

It was simply meant as men are pigs

Type this on Facebook and you'll be in FB jail, has happened to me several times, I have to resist typing that.

3 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

because as I said, all men are whores

1000% correct.

Those that don't admit it or believe it are fooling themselves. I could eat pizza 29 days a month, but at least once a month I want Chinese food or Italian, etc...

It's like watching the same porno FOREVER.

EVERY man I know gay or straight....wanders, given the opportunity or they will eventually make one for themselves anyway. Open relationships (from both sides) are best, no hurt feelings when one is discovered cheating.... Maybe you aren't the one cheating, but thinking they are "only" going to Balcony with "friends" .....

I laugh a little at some older guys, after they have sewn their oats, meet a younger guy and want to settle down....yet the younger guy is in his oats period of  life 😉

Some open relationships put limitations, I know guys that can only mess around when they are in a different city/country, Some only can do 3-ways with each other involved, some only with females...etc. 

[Boy69]

16 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

My meaning of whore was not a money one. It was simply meant as men are pigs. Or, sluts. Or, incapable of monogamy. Not, that is not 100%. Like others said, about 94%.

I didn't mean one party pays cash for the other. But, in every relationship someone brings something to the table. One may have more money, one may have better looks, one may be smarter. It is always a give and take as it should be.

For me, boyfriend just means companion. Often sexual in the first desires but they would never stay long with me if there wasn't more than that. Most of my BF has been 5-20 years. So, I must be doing something right (and jealousy is not part of my nature because as I said, all men are whores).

I agree with you that most gays aren't into long-term monogamy and commitment relationships and 'butterflying' around, however what you are looking for is simply long-term MB with BF experience.