Looking Back At Japanese Gay Life

[PeterRS]

There seems to be a readership for days gone by. This forum has several threads about gay Bangkok and gay Pattaya, but I do not recall one on Japan. As my first of many dozens of visits was in the summer of 1981, I will give a short outline. Some of the anecdotes have been included over the years in other threads. Apologies in advance to those who are reading them for a second time.

For reasons that I totally fail to understand, on moving to Asia the one country I had zero desire to visit was Japan. I have no idea why. It was certainly nothing to do with WWII. Perhaps it was more the fact that I knew little about the country, no idea how to get around, nothing of the language etc. So I was perfectly happy getting to know many South East Asian countries, their histories, cultures and not a few of their wonderfully beautiful young men.

Working for an international company which had links with Japanese companies, it was perhaps not surprising that my Chairman told me a visit to Tokyo could result in more business. So on the way home from a trip to the USA, I stopped over in Tokyo for 4 nights. I arrived in a Friday afternoon to give me the week-end to explore, find the gay area and help to get over jet lag. I can only recall the Spartacus Guide from those days, a thick publication covering the entire world and not infrequently inaccurate. I had chosen the large Keio Plaza Hotel in the middle of the Shinjuku skyscraper district as I imagined that somewhere in that forest of buildings I'd find Ni-chome, not that i knew then what a chome was! On a subsequent visit I found one of the bilingual maps of Tokyo which became my constant companion on my many future visits.

Friday night was a wash-out. After checking in, I was taken up in the lift by a beautiful bellboy. He explained everything in the room and placed my bag correctly on the luggage rack. I found some ¥100 coins in my pocket and offered them to him. The look of horror was such a surprise. I had not read about tipping being anathema in Japan. I learned my lesson! Later I looked in so many places but could find not one gay bar. Tired, I had an early night. Being interested in classical music and opera and knowing that Tokyo was a tour date for many western orchestras and opera companies, I found how to get on to the subway where I should have found the Bunka Kaikan close to Ueno station. Not many subway stations had names in English and of course i had got on at the wrong side of the platform. So I ended up miles fro my intended location. Moral: make sure you check and copy out the script of the Japanese names. Eventually I found myself at the Bunka Kaikan where I looked over the many posters plastered around the lobby area. And it was there that I saw the opera company from La Scala was to be visiting four months later. I was determined to return to see at least one of the operas. But how to get a ticket, for there was no box office in the lobby or anywhere in the complex.

And that is where serendipity came into play. Deciding that I would visit a hotel in the centre which had a great view of the entire city from its 40th floor, I got back on the subway. It was a bright, sunny day. Coming out of the subway meant climbing a long set of stairs from the relative darkness of the station to the brilliance of the street. As I was about half way up, I happened to notice a tall young Japanese guy wearing a white shirt that was gleaming in the sun going down on the opposite side. "Wow, he's handsome," I thought. As I passed him I thought I saw his eyes look at mine. Then what to do? So I turned and looked back. He had also turned and was looking at me. But the crowds on each side of the stairways were packed and there was no chance of stopping. So what to do?

Having reached the top, I turned around and looked back down into the darkness. Because of that shirt, I thought it must be him. Lust took over! I went back down and sure enough he was waiting for me. His English was limited but enough to make a rendezvous for that evening. Not only was he to show me the bars in Ni-chome, he came back to the hotel and stayed with me for the next two nights. As importantly he showed me where to get the opera ticket. As soon as I returned to Hong Kong I booked a package tour around that date - 2 days in Kyoto and 4 in Tokyo.

We kept in touch for a few months but he was leaving to spend 3 years studying in Paris. No doubt he quickly found a lover there and I lost my first Japanese friend. Others were to follow though - many! Having found the gay bars, on my soon to be regular four visits each year, I met a number of very cute young guys. Mostly in the Regent bar, long since demolished, or across the road upstairs in the Fuji bar. There was then still a tradition that young Japanese really wanted to meet foreigners. Perhaps it was a result of social conventions in Japan still making it difficult for young Japanese guys to be seen with other guys rather than girls.

As today, there were hundreds of bars catering exclusively to Japanese. A few would be open to westerners and Japanese who liked being with westerners. I once went with friends to one of the Japanese only bars. Maybe a dozen seats around a U-shaped bar and six tables for two patrons each. My friends were a couple - a Japanese and a westerner and they frequently visited this bar. So I was welcomed as a guest. Almost as soon as I walked through the door and introduced to the mamasan, he whispered in my ear, "Are you top of bottom?" I was not quite sure how to answer such a personal question. The reason soon became obvious. If you said top, he would rearrange the Japanese customers to make sure you were seated between two guys who were bottoms! Very practical!

It seemed to be that on each visit it was very easy to find company. But I had a craving to find a Japanese sauna. I had started reading a few photo books of Japanese gay porn and the saunas looked, well, interesting. Just as Japanese in general are very group-oriented and the individual is often frowned upon, so in the saunas sex took place in dark medium-to-large sized rooms with long mattresses on each side. Two guys could be enjoying a passionate encounter with half a dozen or so just kneeling around them watching the action. The first I was shown was Oban sauna in the Kabukicho (sex) entertainment district. Small and compact, I remember being pleasantly surprised when, having changed and made my way upstairs to the bathing and steam room area, out from the steam room came a gorgeous slim porn star! Anyone who has been to the popular 24 Kaikan in Shinjuku in recent years will also have seen these long mattresses, although it has added some bunk beds in the area. 

The most amazing sauna experience I had was in one in the trendy Shibuya district. I now have no idea exactly where it was and almost certainly it will have been redeveloped. I met a young Chinese in a small dark area. After a long time on a mattress, we moved to the roof where all sorts of activities were taking place. We continued there for what must have been another half hour of total pleasure. Again we swapped contact details - and again we lost track of each other.

I am not sure when hattenba were introduced in Japan. I suspect soon after gay saunas. These were much smaller, usually a one floor apartment than had been curtained off with sheets. They were there purely for quick sex. There might be small mattresses or occasionally a couch. When you were finished there could be one small shower. I only ever went to one - Treffunkt in Akasaka-mitsuke. I really did not enjoy it. I prefer the larger saunas where you can actually see guys as they walk around.

Inevitably AIDS changed the sauna scene - but not immediately. At first it was regarded as a foreign illness and as few foreigners attended saunas, nothing was done. Then foriegners were banned, although by then the horse had bolted. And if you were from another Asian country but looked a bit like a Japanese, you would still be let in. SInce then Promenade cruising saunas opened up although like some saunas and hattenbas you have to be on the look out for age restrictions. Body Breath is one of the most popular with young guys now but it not only has an Asian-only policy, you have to be younger than 40 and have short hair! 

Not that any of this should put you off. A lot has changed in recent decades and, although more Japanese now want to form relationships with their fellow countrymen, there is plenty for the visiting foriegner to enjoy. Over almost 4 decades I have rarely failed to have a good time - and I look forward to the next visit.

[a-447]

I grew up in Japan at a time when everyone wanted to have sex with a foreigner - not a relationship or even a friendship, just sex.

No matter where I went, I was the centre of attention and it did wonders for the self -esteem! I was pounced upon as soon as I walked into the gay cinemas and I actually had guys fighting to get to me. I was touched up on the crowded train virtually every day and if I was able to figure out who was "molesting" me and I found him attractive, we'd often get off at the next station and go back to his place for sex. My cock was getting a real workout, morning, non and night.

Then everything changed. The Japanese appeared to lose their inferiority complex vis-a-vis foreigners and started looking at each other.  The days of standing back and waiting for the hordes to go straight for my cock were over. Sure, I still got more sex than I could poke a stick at, so to speak, and I still got touched up in the train but it wasn't the same.

How I miss those days!

[TotallyOz]

So beautifully written. Thank you.

 

[PeterRS]

A continuation of my little Japanese story. The two nights I spent with the young Japanese I met on my first-ever visit were eye-opening. Japanese can seem so reserved and polite in general conversation. Get a young guy into bed and he can become a tiger. I was sorry my new friend had left Tokyo by the time I returned but just by visiting the bars I was able to meet several more, although none was as athletic in bed as my first.

A year later I was again in Tokyo after a trip to the US arriving on a Saturday afternoon. After dinner, this time I went straight to the Regent Bar which was packed with a nice mix of young Japanese and foreigners of various ages. I was with a young guy I had met on a previous trip and had arranged to spend the night in his small room. Masayuki was a lovely guy and I really enjoyed his company. But there was another young guy amongst the crowd who clearly spoke good English and seemed to be the life and soul of the party. He soon came up to me and said be had not seen me before. What was my name and was I new to Tokyo? He then asked what we'd like to drink and it became clear he was one of the bar tenders.

Over the course of the evening, I found myself drawn to him. He was not the most beautiful guy in the bar - Masayuki was definitely the better looker - but there was something about him. This bartender exuded massive charisma to the point where you almost had to look at him. Still, I had made arrangements for the night and turned my attention to my lovely date. Masa was much more gentle in bed, but still clearly eager and quite delighful. We had a lot of fun. As he had to spend Sunday with his parents outside of the city, I decided to return to the Regent in the eveing to see if i could have a longer chat with that bartender. It so happened it started to rain quite heavily and I was nearly soaked by the time I reached the Regent. Getting there about 8:30pm, there was only one other punter sitting at the bar. So I sat down, ordered a drink and was delighted that Yuji was on duty.

Over the next nearly three hours, we drank and chatted together - me on a stool and he behind the bar. That charisma, his sense of fun and the ease with which we chatted completely enveloped me. I really wanted to ask him back to the hotel but something held me back. I found myself totally backward in coming forward. Having been relatively free and easy during my previous visits to Japan, here I felt like a young teenager almost afraid I'd be rejected.

Finally around 11:20 it was time for him to leave to catch his train home. Having put on his rain jacket, he came around the front of the bar, said he'd really enjoyed meeting me and trailed his hand ever so lightly over my ass. Still I did not move. I should have recognised all the signals but it was like this was all way too good to be true and he'd just say 'no'. And so he left the bar and I was left with a host of memories and a feeling of utter stupidity. 

Since it was still raining and taxis were always expensive, I decided to stay in the area. Next door to the Regent up on the first floor was a small disco named New Sazae. I had never been inside. But I thought I needed another large drink to drown my sorrows. I hesitated at the door before opening it and looking inside. You walked in by a small dance floor. The bar was at the other end on the left. Whisky in hand, I looked around the dance floor, wondering if anyone could possibly be a companion for the night, even though I doubted he would match what could have taken place with Yuji.

And then I saw him. He had not gone home. He'd come to the disco and was dancing on the floor on his own. I was amazed - and then he saw me. With a smile on his face he stretched out a hand and beckoned me to join him. Thus we danced bodies pressed to bodies for some time, initially both reallising we were rock hard! I think I need say no more than we ended up in bed in my hotel where neither of us slept a wink. In the morning we had to part as we both had work. But this time we did promise to meet again - and we did. The following month I spent a week's vacation with him in Tokyo. I then visited for long week-ends once a month thanks in large part to very cheap air fares on Pan Am which was then still flying in the Pacific. Yuji even came to spend 3 weeks with me in Hong Kong. I knew I was in love, but I knew too that it was doomed never to last. Young Japanese needed sex much more regularly than once a month, as truth be told did I. Sure enough. By the time of my last visit when i stayed with him in his little room, he told me he had met a much older westerner who lived in Tokyo and was able to offer him a nice apartment and all the perks of expatriates then based in Japan. I will never forget that last night with him in his single bed as we hugged and cried as the hours slipped away.

One of the benefits of knowing Yuji was been being introduced to several of his Japanese friends. Later I was to have a smaller affair with one of those cute friends. But he made it clear soon after meeting that he was not looking for any form of longer term relationship. As @A-447A pointed out above, sex was much more on his mind, not that was any disincentive whatever.

Although my Japan adventures have continued ever since, there was one episode that I can never forget. Three of Yuji's friends happened to have birthdays over four days in October. A few years later, they decided to have a joint birthday party and very kindly invited me. I really wanted to join them, but another trip to Tokyo was going to stretch my finances, so I declined. As the date neared, I thought this is silly. They are dear friends and have been extremely kind to me. So I purchased a Pan Am ticket and decided to turn up unannounced. When the door to the apartment opened, there were wonderful smiles all round. I handed out small gifts and was introduced to many guys I did not know. As the evening came to an end, I paired off with one of the guests for another tigerish evening. What makes that evening such a special one is that within 5 years all three birthday boys were dead. AIDS! Like so many all over the world, I cried buckets when I learned.

[floridarob]

21 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Not many subway stations had names in English and of course i had got on at the wrong side of the platform. So I ended up miles fro my intended location.

The guys today would be lost without Google maps, no idea how we made our way around back in the days, no message boards to share info  and WITHOUT Google translate 😱

21 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Again we swapped contact details - and again we lost track of each other.

The advantage of "social media".... we've all lost contact with so many people we wish we could speak with today, but thankfully is much easier now.

[joizy]

On 1/2/2023 at 12:05 PM, Pantherz said:

 

 

On 6/28/2023 at 12:57 AM, a-447 said:

Then everything changed. The Japanese appeared to lose their inferiority complex vis-a-vis foreigners and started looking at each other.  The days of standing back and waiting for the hordes to go straight for my cock were over. Sure, I still got more sex than I could poke a stick at, so to speak, and I still got touched up in the train but it wasn't the same.

How I miss those days!

I think HIV changed things too. I lived in Tokyo from 1989-95. I was 29 when I arrived and hot. I did meet some guys, but many would not have anything to do with me. I even heard from other Asians that Japanese didn't want anything to do with them when they found out they were not Japanese. Still, there were so many cruising areas and it was a lot of fun.

[a-447]

2 hours ago, joizy said:

 

I think HIV changed things too. I lived in Tokyo from 1989-95. I was 29 when I arrived and hot. I did meet some guys, but many would not have anything to do with me. I even heard from other Asians that Japanese didn't want anything to do with them when they found out they were not Japanese. Still, there were so many cruising areas and it was a lot of fun.

Ah, yes.  The HIV thing!

I wish I had a dollar for every time a Japanese would tell my that HIV was a disease that only foreigners got and besides, there were no gay people in Japan. They'd never wandered around the back streets of Ueno at night or walked past the gay sauna in Takadanobaba, let alone wandered through Shinjuku ni-chome. It wasn't long before doors started closing firmly, but always politely, in my face.

In those days I belonged to a couple of private clubs. Everyone knew me and that I was a resident, not some disease-ridden tourist, so things didn't change. I was still welcomed with open arms (and legs) whenever I walked through the door. But the ticket seller at my favourite gay cinema - a guy I'd spoken to hundreds of times - suddenly became distant (literally, as he would lean back in his chair when I was at the window of the ticket booth!) and no longer had time to chat to me.

But knowing Japan so well, I never took offense.