First time visitor, can someone explain it all to me...?

[jacksonSmith3002]

6 minutes ago, gayinpattaya said:

Here you may run into problems. My only advice would be to befriend a Thai with good English, drag him around with you and have him do the negotiating. There was a fetish bar in Pattaya, but it died in 2019.

The other solution is study some Thai language before your trip. Communication with just a few key words can do wonders. 

As for "rough stuff".... I'd advise against anything like that. It's generally not the way here. You can quickly get yourself a bad reputation, and that will do you no favours. 

It's best to keep in mind these are generally poor guys trying to make their way in the world. They deserve the upmost respect. 

Haha, thanks!  Also, I am a bottom, so any rough stuff I asked someone to get up to would be rough towards me, not towards them haha.  I fully support sex work and would want to be a good client and not someone who is making somebody have a bad day at work 😁

[gayinpattaya]

1 minute ago, jacksonSmith3002 said:

Haha, thanks!  Also, I am a bottom, so any rough stuff I asked someone to get up to would be rough towards me, not towards them haha.  I fully support sex work and would want to be a good client and not someone who is making somebody have a bad day at work 😁

That's good to hear. I meant no offense by my reply. I didn't want to assume your preferences! 

[jacksonSmith3002]

Thank you all so much for explaining things to me!

 

I guess, to end this thread for the moment, does anybody have just general advice or any experiences to absolutely not miss?

[jacksonSmith3002]

Oh, also, if anyone will be in Bangkok starting around June 23rd, and wants to go and try this out together, message me!

[Keithambrose]

10 hours ago, jacksonSmith3002 said:

Oh, also, if anyone will be in Bangkok starting around June 23rd, and wants to go and try this out together, message me!

I arrive 18th July, but I imagine that you will be gone by then?

[flashbarryallen]

One small thing that no one has said yet. If you take a guy back to your room, be mindful of your belongings. I have never had a bad experience, but I'm the paranoid type that keeps things like my iPad and laptop in the safe and will even bring my wallet into the bathroom with me if I'm showering alone (god forbid.)

This should also apply while sleeping. Leave your wallet and any other belongings in the safe if you're bringing a guy back for long term.

Speaking of long term, it helps to clarify what that means (learned this from @vinapu.) Don't be shy to say that long term means sex in the morning too and going to breakfast with you if that's what you want. Always get clear on operational definitions. 

If you're meeting guys from Grindr, be very clear about your preferences for chem/drug sex. I'm vehemently against it, and the worst experience I ever had was a guy smoking some sort of drug in my room and offering me a "candy" (which thankfully I was wise enough in the moment to know was probably laced with something and said no.) Anything drug related is my worst nightmare.

Hmmm..there will be times you will be disappointed unfortunately. My very first off was a disappointment in bed, though we had been talking for hours beforehand and it was early hours, so I forgave him and now he's a legitimate friend of mine who I adore.

There are so many variables that can affect performance, and you have to find the right balance between being a compassionate human versus a paying customer when a guy is unable to perform. I'll admit I'm a bit of a pushover. My last Bangkok trip, one guy tried his hardest to perform, but just couldn't. I still paid him because he really was trying his best. In the end, I think he had a drug problem, and he died like two months after I met him. 😭

Remember, this is just fantasy for the most part. While there are stories of falling in love, it's not the norm. Guys will tell you they love you and will ask you for cash because of any number of reasons either real or made up. You have to live in the fantasy and enjoy it (don't always be stoic), but then be able to snap back to reality. Don't be so moved by the barrage of messages and cute emojis you receive. It's mainly all business to them and it's not worth it to get lost in the What Ifs??

Everyone has different styles. Some like to get in (or never even go to the bar at all) and get out. Others like to buy a bottle, enjoy the night, do a chemistry test with the guys along with stolen touches and flirting. I suggest you do both if budget allows. Some guys can only keep up the charade of showing interest for a little bit, and others know how to keep it going and charm you. This could be a good test of what bedroom experience will be like. 

I Am sure I could write more, but I'll end with saying don't forget the small things. If you go to Moonlight, chat with Paul. He's a genuinely great guy and fun conversationalist. Sit at HotMale beer bar and don't be afraid to engage the cute bartenders in conversation. It's so easy to focus on the sex, but some of my most memorable moments have been with the colorful people (the owner at Gs Bangkok also a good example) that make the city special and like a second home for many of us.

 

[flashbarryallen]

One more thing. Grooming matters. While kissing is a huge variable for many of the guys, it's much easier to make happen if you have fresh breath. 

Many of these guys have very smooth skin that is easily irritated, so make sure you're clean shaven. Even a little bit of five o clock shadow can make these guys uncomfortable. This is especially important if you're into rimming. Btw, good way to explain rimming is with these emojis: 🖐️😛🤚 They'll typically know what you mean (not even joking.)

[vinapu]

18 minutes ago, flashbarryallen said:

One small thing that no one has said yet. If you take a guy back to your room, be mindful of your belongings. I have never had a bad experience, but I'm the paranoid type that keeps things like my iPad and laptop in the safe and will even bring my wallet into the bathroom with me if I'm showering alone (god forbid.)

This should also apply while sleeping. Leave your wallet and any other belongings in the safe if you're bringing a guy back for long term.

 

when somebody mentions that I always feel under obligation to say something mainly because I rarely spend a night in Thailand alone. (Scandalously though it happened to me on last last full night of recently finished trip)

While your advice is valid my experience is not too worry at all. I keep excess  money in safe but never hide anything when hosting a guy, either known or new to me. Phone is on the table and so it tablet, shirt and shorts stuffed with some money  always in plain  view and never  ever had anything missing other than occasional drink taken and consumed from mini-bar without asking for permission  - and even that happens  , say , once per trip. I think one of attraction of Thai  boys for me is exactly that - I don't need to worry about my money nor belongings.

And yes, true to old saying ' trust and control" I count money in my pockets at least twice a day and reconcile if there's difference. Never debit after guy left  though 

[Londoner]

Nor have I ever had a problem of this nature, though I don't leave money out due to my Sunday School teaching which abhorred tempting the young. Something about mill- stones around the neck. There are sometimes- or at least there were back in the day- when some guys were genuinely (and fearfully) hungry as were their friends.

No worries about my phone; no Thai would be seen dead with my cheapo.

[macaroni21]

On 6/11/2023 at 6:14 PM, flashbarryallen said:

If you go to Moonlight, chat with Paul.

He's back at Moonlight? The last time I saw him he was at New Twilight - though that is no more and I shouldn't be surprised if he's back at ML.

Nonetheless, it will strike me as very forgiving of management to take someone back after he defected to the competition.