Question about gogoboy in Bangkok

[PeterRS]

The problem about airing this problem on any chatroom site is that you are going to get a wide variety of opinions. Which should you consider appropriate to your situation? It's impossible to say. Further, we know almost nothing about you apart from the fact that you mention you are living in Singapore. Are you Singaporean or an expat enjoying a bigger apartment and a better salary that most salaried Singaporeans?

For my twopenny worth, it's too easy to fall in love - or to develop a strong attraction for a bar boy - on first meeting, no matter the number of nights you spend together. Put simply, I'd say that's infatuation. It's not love. With respect to you and your feelings, you need to spend 2 or 3 more visits and a lot more time with him before you can really understand what your true feelings are for him. It also helps to find out who his good friends are here.

What other posters have said is perfectly true. More than one boy has been known to "love" several farang at the same time and to have each send money for his room or his family. Please also remember that Myanmar is presently in the middle of a ghastly army crackdown with many murdered and no end in sight. China is probably the eminence gris in this scenario. The last thing it wants is problems on its borders. So it feeds cash to the Myanmar army to enable it to purchase weapons - and so on and so forth. That will not end any time soon, in my view.

You must also think what might happen in the future if you find your feelings for him are indeed love. Are you happy for him to continue to be based in Bangkok with all the temptations open to bar boys here? Or will he return to what I assume will be poverty in Myanmar. Would you consider asking him to move with you to Singapore - or wherever you are because Singapore is actally 1,800 kms from Bangkok but you mention 3,000 kms which is more like Jakarta? If you'd like him to move back with you, how do you get him a visa to stay more than a very short time? Can he get a work visa? Does he have any work skills that will be welcome where you live - now and in the future? If the answer is no, how do you see the relationship developing? You move to Bangkok? Or you just visit perhaps more regularly?

Just thoughts.

[gayinpattaya]

10 hours ago, gytis123 said:

Maybe you are talking about me? I was with a burmese boy in Pattaya May 11 - May 18. He stayed with me for the entirety of the whole trip from May 3 to 19 and he even traveled to Pattaya with me. I have a very similar situation as OP, we still keeping in touch, calling each other everyday via LINE, except I not sending him any money and he didn't ask for it. I will write more about my trip on other thread soon. I also have questions about love.

PS. Boy is cute and is on smaller side...

Yup it was you lol. I shook your hand in cocka2 bar. I also organised that freelancer boy for you at Lucky Bar! 

[zoomomancs]

A Thai go go man, now 29, who I have known for ten years, told me that that all the go go men are not doing it for fun or sex or love but for the chance of a big score with one rich customer or a series of rich customers. He has a house and a car now. A Vietnamese go go man, who I asked why they do the job if it is so difficult to earn enough, echoed this when he replied that they hope to 'get lucky'.

[zoomomancs]

"Do gogoboys working in gogoboy bars receive salary from the bar, or is their income primarily derived from customers who purchase drinks, provide tips, and engage in sexual services with them?"

I have asked many go go men about this. My understanding is that most bars pay a small amount (eg 150bt) to regular men who turn up at say 8pm and stay until the close, as long as they do not get off'd. If they get off'd by a customer they lose the 'salary'. Often, if a go go man has a  customer and fails to turn up the next night they will be fined the off fee (eg 500bt) because the bar presumes they are still with the same customer.

 

[gayinpattaya]

gogo man. That's new 🤣 Sound like English street rats running from a crime scene. 
 

[gytis123]

11 hours ago, gayinpattaya said:

Yup it was you lol. I shook your hand in cocka2 bar. I also organised that freelancer boy for you at Lucky Bar! 

 It's a small world after all

[thaiophilus]

18 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Just thoughts.

I'd add a thought about culture clashes. If you don't share the same cultural background as the other party, it's all too easy to misunderstand what they are really saying, and to be misunderstood. For example, if your (unspoken, maybe even unconscious) expectation is for honesty and objective truth but his social imperative is face-saving and harmony, he will tell you what you want to hear, and will mistake your directness for something else.

[Patanawet]

12 hours ago, zoomomancs said:

"Do gogoboys working in gogoboy bars receive salary from the bar, or is their income primarily derived from customers who purchase drinks, provide tips, and engage in sexual services with them?"

I have asked many go go men about this. My understanding is that most bars pay a small amount (eg 150bt) to regular men who turn up at say 8pm and stay until the close, as long as they do not get off'd. If they get off'd by a customer they lose the 'salary'. Often, if a go go man has a  customer and fails to turn up the next night they will be fined the off fee (eg 500bt) because the bar presumes they are still with the same customer.

 

'twas always thus.

[jason1975]

Many years ago when Soi Twilight was still around, I propositioned a gogo boy to come to my hotel room in evening at 6pm for short time for one week before he reported to work at 8.30pm. I wanted to forego the bar drink and bar fine but gogo boy was not keen. I couldn't figure out the logic at first. Wouldn't it be a win-win situation for both of us? Then I finally realised that he wanted the bar to look upon him favourably if he had me as a customer every night. It had something to do with the politics of the bar between the gogo boys and the mamasans.

[silverwolf76]

19 hours ago, zoomomancs said:

"Do gogoboys working in gogoboy bars receive salary from the bar, or is their income primarily derived from customers who purchase drinks, provide tips, and engage in sexual services with them?"

I have asked many go go men about this. My understanding is that most bars pay a small amount (eg 150bt) to regular men who turn up at say 8pm and stay until the close, as long as they do not get off'd. If they get off'd by a customer they lose the 'salary'. Often, if a go go man has a  customer and fails to turn up the next night they will be fined the off fee (eg 500bt) because the bar presumes they are still with the same customer.

 

yeah,it is true ,my ex bf told me before, if no customer pick mb,boss pay mb for only 100 baht per night on stage only.

for performance show guys,boss paid them each is 200 baht per night

show nude,boss pay only 150 baht per night.

[PeterRS]

18 hours ago, thaiophilus said:

I'd add a thought about culture clashes. If you don't share the same cultural background as the other party, it's all too easy to misunderstand what they are really saying, and to be misunderstood.

I should have made this my first point! @thaiophilus makes a very imporant and indeed serious point.

[Lucky]

On 6/1/2023 at 2:20 PM, zoomomancs said:

"Do gogoboys working in gogoboy bars receive salary from the bar, or is their income primarily derived from customers who purchase drinks, provide tips, and engage in sexual services with them?"

I have asked many go go men about this. My understanding is that most bars pay a small amount (eg 150bt) to regular men who turn up at say 8pm and stay until the close, as long as they do not get off'd. If they get off'd by a customer they lose the 'salary'. Often, if a go go man has a  customer and fails to turn up the next night they will be fined the off fee (eg 500bt) because the bar presumes they are still with the same customer.

 

Thank you for using the term go go man. I hope that all go go dancers are at least 18, which qualifies them as men.

[gayinpattaya]

2 hours ago, Lucky said:

Thank you for using the term go go man. I hope that all go go dancers are at least 18, which qualifies them as men.

This is a grotesque comment. Get some grasp of Thai language and you will understand why they are not MEN.  

In Judaism, you are a MAN at 13, in their culture. Applying Western words and ideas to cultures the other side of the world only shows lack of cultural awareness and intelligence.  

[floridarob]

4 minutes ago, gayinpattaya said:

Applying Western words and ideas to cultures the other side of the world only shows lack of cultural awareness and intelligence.  

And we all know how culturally/politically correct you are 😱

[gayinpattaya]

50 minutes ago, floridarob said:

And we all know how culturally/politically correct you are 😱

Political correctness / woke nonsense makes me sick to my stomach. Just as your politics do. 
Next.

[floridarob]

You made my point .... 

[vinapu]

On 6/2/2023 at 9:01 PM, jason1975 said:

Many years ago when Soi Twilight was still around, I propositioned a gogo boy to come to my hotel room in evening at 6pm for short time for one week before he reported to work at 8.30pm. I wanted to forego the bar drink and bar fine but gogo boy was not keen. I couldn't figure out the logic at first. Wouldn't it be a win-win situation for both of us? Then I finally realised that he wanted the bar to look upon him favourably if he had me as a customer every night. It had something to do with the politics of the bar between the gogo boys and the mamasans.

not sure it's still a case anywhere but some bars had policy  of minimum offs and minimum drinks  per month to be kept on that meagre salary their receive for just showing at work.

One of my guys I offed from Tawan was moved to freelancer for not meeting his quota or at least that's what he told me at that time (2015 or 16)

[vinapu]

On 6/3/2023 at 11:07 PM, floridarob said:

And we all know how culturally/politically correct you are 😱

 

On 6/3/2023 at 11:58 PM, gayinpattaya said:

Political correctness / woke nonsense makes me sick to my stomach. Just as your politics do. 
Next.

 

On 6/4/2023 at 4:42 AM, floridarob said:

You made my point .... 

good to know you are still in love after all those years

[zoomomancs]

On 6/3/2023 at 4:31 PM, Lucky said:

Thank you for using the term go go man. I hope that all go go dancers are at least 18, which qualifies them as men.

Yes, they are 18 upwards, mostly in 20's. In 12 years I encountered only one who was 17 and he was sacked after another lad informed the bar as it is risky for the bar to let under age men work on stage. 

[Olddaddy]

Unfortunately 

On 6/4/2023 at 2:58 AM, gayinpattaya said:

Political correctness / woke nonsense makes me sick to my stomach. Just as your politics do. 
Next.

Unfortunately even I am using the term "go go man" or "service providers" as there was some on this board who personal messages me with abusive comments when I referred to the guys as "boys" 

I blocked several of them,I think they are people who never go to Thailand but join this board to "watch " what we say 

[Olddaddy]

On 6/3/2023 at 11:31 PM, Lucky said:

Thank you for using the term go go man. I hope that all go go dancers are at least 18, which qualifies them as men.

Sounds like you never been to Thailand?😳

[gayinpattaya]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

Unfortunately 

Unfortunately even I am using the term "go go man" or "service providers" as there was some on this board who personal messages me with abusive comments when I referred to the guys as "boys" 

I blocked several of them,I think they are people who never go to Thailand but join this board to "watch " what we say 

I think you summed it up there. Just forum stalkers. I've yet to have anyone in any bar in Thailand ask me if I want a MAN. I am always asked if I want a boy. The only time you will hear the term man used is if you ask a boy who is a top if he will bottom. He will be quick to tell you I MAN. But forum stalkers wouldn't understand why that is. 

[Lucky]

3 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Sounds like you never been to Thailand?😳

You're an idiot.