Copy of my note to our moderator(s)

[Riobard]

Dear Oz and other admin:

Somebody I know contacted me today and reported that he caught a reference about me that two GayGuides members wrote on a site named Company of Men. He sent me two screenshots appended below. Apparently this has now trickled over to our board here GayGuides. 

Evidently, a member being the same person on both boards, named Unicorn (possibly a physician?) and a member being the same person on both boards, named Marc in Calif, have asserted in writing that a 3rd party that posts in Company of Men and me are one and the same person.

The kind person that just contacted me also added that, ironically, the reference to my posting at Gay Guides was contained within a topic about the ethics of outing gay men and their sexual behaviours. I believe that a fellow named José Sopulcsnos (I like pinga) is also implicated, and solacesoul though I do not read him lately. My friend alerted me about the latter (SS) and you can always track his recent content.

I am not able to corroborate that Unicorn and Marc in Calif are, respectively, the same fellows on both boards. I HAVE noticed that one Marc in Calif was throwing shade on me so persistently on Gay Guides that I had to try to set limits by putting him on Ignore and calling him out. I don’t mind that things get troll-ish spicy and conflictual at times on social media but the stalking and doxxing takes it too far. 

I am not cross-affiliated there at Company of Men although I think that the two “alleged” culprits and some others at Gay Guides are members of both boards and are comfortable utilizing the same handles. I have not revealed my Gay Guides membership status or handle @Riobard anywhere anytime on a public domain accessible forum outside of the confines of the Gay Guides board. I have not identified my true name on any open board post. 

As you can determine from the images, the main one in question named the Gay Guides site and my Gay Guides pseudonym in the same sentence, and the other person seconded the reveal with the ‘me too’ confirmational emoticon? How dumb is that?!

This is very disturbing, boldly and maliciously conflating a member at Company of Men, a supposedly anonymous and ‘safe space’ board, with my identity here at Gay Guides, a supposedly anonymous and ‘safe space’ board. Apart from the stalking and doxxing, I am not particularly concerned with the gossipy put-down, but I am worried about some related implications. 

Is my content and my association with sex trade going to be reported on another board from ours without my consent? If I directly approach the two or more men in question is that going to exacerbate things because they may become defensive or they may get a kick out of creating more drama? If they are reprimanded or banned by the Gay Guides moderator team will that similarly blow back on me? Should or can they be banned and blocked without a clear reason conveyed to them? 

Are readers over at Company of Men going to think that Gay Guides lacks the firewall of anonymity? After all, short of a member choosing to break his own anonymity, isn’t the only way to confirm a person being common to two sites the administrator’s possession of identifying data? 

Will readers make false assumptions based on the supposition of a direct link between me and some 3rd party member that from the over at Company of Men? I don’t see the handle but my friend contacting me today said the member there was sirbobby-something. Would the best solution for me be to stop posting on Gay Guides? What was the point of the breach other than for ostentatious shits and giggles?

The list of questions goes on.

To boot the posts are in a public forum that thousands of readers access. The two culprits are naming a Company of Member as being the same person as @Riobard (me). For all I know that individual does not post material that identifies himself as a transactional sex tourist abroad in the same way that I do in Gay Guides. Again, two people where neither referenced the other’s affiliation in social media fora elsewhere.

Should the member at Company of Men be alerted I wonder? I am more concerned for him because his reputation may be more vulnerable, whereas I expect anonymity in principle but may be comparatively immune to major damage. It’s not up to another posting member to bully another member with unsubstantiated assumptions of who they actually are. The governance is one of reciprocal regard for privacy.

[Latbear4blk]

I am José Soplanucas in Company Of Men. I used to be latbear4blk, but after the antiracist rise, I no longer find that nickname appropriate. CoM opened the table to change our noms de plume, and I took the offer. I did it openly and without intending to create a new persona. Everyone who is paying attention knows who I am in both forums. For instance, all my years of posting in CoM are now under my new name, and there is a clear and transparent continuity. I also requested the change in my alias here, but @TotallyOz informed me it was impossible. I would have to create a new profile, which I don't want. 

I remember the conversation you are referencing. I have told you directly; I often find your writing difficult to understand. I told you so at least a couple of times, and at least once, you did not like my comment. I had no hostile intention; I was sharing my difficulty. I found a poster in CoM that reminded me of your writing style, so I asked him whether or not he was you. No second intentions, but a simple and direct question, as you can see in the screenshot you shared.

If you have anything to ask, you can ask me here. I do not bitch through PMs like the posters you are mentioning. What I say, I say it publically and take ownership of my words.

[Riobard]

32 minutes ago, Latbear4blk said:

I am José Soplanucas in Company Of Men. I used to be latbear4blk, but after the antiracist rise, I no longer find that nickname appropriate. CoM opened the table to change our noms de plume, and I took the offer. I did it openly and without intending to create a new persona. Everyone who is paying attention knows who I am in both forums. For instance, all my years of posting in CoM are now under my new name, and there is a clear and transparent continuity. I also requested the change in my alias here, but @TotallyOz informed me it was impossible. I would have to create a new profile, which I don't want. 

I remember the conversation you are referencing. I have told you directly; I often find your writing difficult to understand. I told you so at least a couple of times, and at least once, you did not like my comment. I had no hostile intention; I was sharing my difficulty. I found a poster in CoM that reminded me of your writing style, so I asked him whether or not he was you. No second intentions, but a simple and direct question, as you can see in the screenshot you shared.

If you have anything to ask, you can ask me here. I do not bitch through PMs like the posters you are mentioning. What I say, I say it publically and take ownership of my words.

I take it, then, that you are comfortable being more transparent about your identity. You could have DMd the Company member. Your personal reading comprehension needn’t have prompted such a lack of tact and that lack of discretion prompted a few jackasses to assert a confirmation of your hypothesized relation like sharks to chum in the brink. Fucking snivelling misanthropes waiting for you to come along. Now the cascade effect of pathetic trolls extending upon it. If you posted on Instagram as ABC I would never ever ever consider openly asking if you were XYZ on Twitter, and they are not media that are oriented to sexual tourism.

But thanks for the quasi-accountability, yet nothing creditable in terms of an apology, though I know you enough to give the benefit of the doubt that you would have thought twice if you could have forecasted the idiots that sprang maliciously upon two entities using the ammo of your post. 

I wouldn’t have known about these hijinks save for today’s Samaritan reaching out.

Water under the bridge, for you and me. I’ve said my piece. There should be no deleterious consequences for you.

[Latbear4blk]

I am not apologizing. I did nothing wrong. I am offering you an explanation of my participation in that conversation. Whether or not it satisfies you, it is out of my control.

[Riobard]

33 minutes ago, Latbear4blk said:

I am not apologizing. I did nothing wrong. I am offering you an explanation of my participation in that conversation. Whether or not it satisfies you, it is out of my control.

Utter bullshit. You wrote what you wrote for ulterior impact. It was a throwaway comment when you could have simply asked the guy for clarification on content. I have now located the post by searching over there and it is patently clear that you were grumbling about this guy when others in the thread evidently comprehended his content and style.

Don’t fucking reference two identifier handles without explicit permission from both parties. One can use the backchannel where the recipient can vet for the implications of a question or comment. Full stop.

Your distancing yourself simply supports the justification others are now banking on. Be a values leader; don’t drop a grenade for effect and think you smell like roses. Jeezuz!!

It is exclusively the autonomous prerogative of a forum member to determine how to render their membership affiliations and pseudonyms. Get it? This goes for all those implicated in this middle school level occurrence.

LBBJS, I’d have turned the page but for your refusal to be on the same page. 

[Latbear4blk]

18 minutes ago, Riobard said:

Utter bullshit. You wrote what you wrote for ulterior impact. It was a throwaway comment when you could have simply asked the guy for clarification on content. I have now located the post by searching over there and it is patently clear that you were grumbling about this guy when others in the thread evidently comprehended his content and style.

Don’t fucking reference two identifier handles without explicit permission from both parties. One can use the backchannel where the recipient can vet for the implications of a question or comment. Full stop.

Your distancing yourself simply supports the justification others are now banking on. Be a values leader; don’t drop a grenade for effect and think you smell like roses. Jeezuz!!

It is exclusively the autonomous prerogative of a forum member to determine how to render their membership affiliations and pseudonyms. Get it? This goes for all those implicated in this middle school level occurrence.

LBBJS, I’d have turned the page but for your refusal to be on the same page. 

As I said, your overreaction is out of my control. If you are so sensitive, you should keep a lower profile or stop posting. 

[Riobard]

1 hour ago, Latbear4blk said:

As I said, your overreaction is out of my control. If you are so sensitive, you should keep a lower profile or stop posting. 

Christ man! Now you’re being an idiot. I do have a low profile with a pseudonym that you undermined by suggesting it belonged to a person on an unrelated platform where no cross-affiliation had ever been declared.

But you are on to something. When an ignoramus is happy to step all over you the best board profile is no profile.

I don’t need you to have any control; we are beyond you impacting on me and my locus of control is internal. What I will do is underscore that my impression now is that you decide for others because you have a particular insidious perspective on emancipation viz self-identification and the boundaries in terms of your sex blog, albeit sorta kinda consensually based, that depict a unique level of comfort with privilege-staking not shared by a substantial majority of these board memberships. You might consider de-centering and being less oversensitive to a contrasting viewpoint about anonymity. 

 

[Latbear4blk]

I offered to answer any questions, but you have all the answers. 

I wish you the best.

[Riobard]

8 minutes ago, Latbear4blk said:

I wish you the best.

Yeah I got the full range of answers accessible and possible. Aren’t you the magnanimous one.

Your Best wishes:
Where best is the best example of being disingenuous. 

[Riobard]

Let me put it in terms that even a simpleton Gov DeS follower could comprehend:

Let’s say a member here is oriented to sex tourism and posts here as “BKKpunter” (made up for the sake of illustration). 

Let’s say BKKpunter also posts on tripadvisor about any number of topics and does not reference there his GayGuides affiliation or the activities written up in GG fellowship. Maybe he is a generic tourist guide, but he compartmentalizes his handles:  BKKtravel411. 

Both message boards are predominantly open publicly. 

Then, say a GG member posts on tripadvisor the claim that BKKtravel411 is the same guy as BKKpunter, stirring up shit and prompting readers to look into the association. If that’s OK and there are no repercussions other than for BKK guy, then Houston Bob’s Your Uncle we have a problem. 

The infraction is the same whether he is both handles, as in this example, or the two are separate guys, the same irrespective of your assessment or degree of like/dislike. The principle of prerogative for anonymous compartmentalization stands. 

In fact, I cannot even assume that two handles of the same name reflect the same person because pseudonym choice is not blocked on a site unless already taken. 

[vinapu]

Glad to hear you guys have fun

[vinapu]

11 hours ago, Riobard said:

 

Now you’re being an idiot. 

 

Be nice

[vinapu]

13 hours ago, Riobard said:

Utter bullshit......

Don’t fucking reference..... 

Glad to see human language being used

[Riobard]

9 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Be nice

How about making a commentary about the central issue as opposed to playing wannabe moderator and hijacking a report submitted to the actual moderators? Try to be more relevant than incessant shadowing, and stay in the lane. A point of view, perhaps? Does anybody here want to reveal their other social media names? I don’t. Maybe you’re on Instagram as VincePoohbear. It’s your choice alone to present it, no?

[vinapu]

5 minutes ago, Riobard said:

How about making a commentary about the issue than playing wannabe moderator. 

There are more pressing issues here in Silom at the moment. Can't figure what problem is being busy preparing  for world peace discussion   this evening with well known expert in the field. 

Calling people names lacks sophistry, you can do better and force yourself to. 

[Riobard]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

There are more pressing issues here in Silom at the moment. Can't figure what problem is being busy preparing  for world peace discussion   this evening with well known expert in the field. 

Calling people names lacks sophistry, you can do better and force yourself to. 

You don’t exhibit any lack of sophistry. You can take the lead on that, likely a perfect candidate. I’ll stick to coherence and convey others are idiotic where applicable. There must be hall monitor openings you are better suited for. You won’t contribute, go to Ignored, do not pass go. C U Next Tues, #8. I’ll take a break 4 U since your batteries are of the highest quality and U are permanently on call. Don’t drop your phone in the crapper. You may need it to look up your words, let alone mine.

In terms of values and preferred interpersonal interaction mode, your buddy met me in person, his choice to make that reveal, and reported here his perception that I am “educated, friendly”. That’s my general nature but we all have our gloves and mine aren’t grafted to my palms. Keep your nose out of it, svp. I can handle ignoramuses attempting to malign me and misshape the narrative. U have good status here and don’t need to be an unwarranted distraction. There is only one valid side here. 

[vinapu]

12 minutes ago, Riobard said:

You don’t exhibit any lack of sophistry. You can take the lead on that, likely a perfect candidate. I’ll stick to coherence and convey others are idiotic where applicable. There must be hall monitor openings you are better suited for. You won’t contribute, go to Ignored, do not pass go. C U Next Tues, #8.

Tue is #6

 

[forky123]

Being upset that someone suggested a link between your account here and an account on CoM I'm somewhat surprised you started an entire thread here which will just promote that suggestion.

[floridarob]

4 hours ago, Riobard said:

as opposed to playing wannabe moderator and hijacking a report submitted to the actual moderators?

So you want to speak to the manager 🙄

[Riobard]

1 hour ago, forky123 said:

Being upset that someone suggested a link between your account here and an account on CoM I'm somewhat surprised you started an entire thread here which will just promote that suggestion.

From what I understand based on my friend’s communication to me the link was not suggested but was declared as fact. Then I saw it myself as exactly that level of obnoxious. Thereafter, a cascade effect in which one or more members here more recently are extending, perhaps spitefully, an explicit reiteration of the link. Therefore, my own initiation of the thread herein did not inflate what had already been posted by somebody other than me. But then you are likely under-thinking it. I realize your point but I had actually considered what to do and sought advice. There was no real basis for not calling out the aberrant behaviour because the content had already been deposited here in full view without consent of the guy over at M4Mforum or myself here. I never opened the barn door that’s open. I think in Gestalt terms, not impulsively. 

If there are suggestions that I am not somebody of some worth meeting personally, so be it. It’s not a priority. I do have Zip files of communication with everybody I have personally met on this board, 3 in total is the number of guys met in person. I cannot release them without consent but I can assure you that none of the interactive content falls short of mutual respect and enjoyment. With permission I am open to sharing these because nobody would sustain any damage. Frankly, when looking back at these interactions I am stymied by impressions of me that are derogatory in nature. I did have one in-person interaction that threw me for a loop and blindsided me in a way that required me to pause and re-organize my connection. That may have prompted an impugning of my character by one specific individual. I did have to look into this guy after months of positive exchange because he made what I took to be a veiled threat and I needed to process the whole encounter. I have also been warned by DMers looking out for me to tread lightly with particular individuals, all documented. 

The net outcome appears to be that a few fellows don’t like my writing style and a few fellows think I am disturbed. I can assure you the latter is far from reality. I am probably one of the most boring normal persons one could meet. I am financially secure because I possess good people skills and my writing has been sought by elite institutions without the proviso of peer review. Apparently some people have good attention spans.

As Brooke declared in In Treatment, “I don’t work with narcissists.” This is where exceptionalism comes into play and I similarly don’t feel obligated to play nice.

[Riobard]

I am not looking for further discussion from the broad membership. I have been adequately informed about the existence of posted content on this board and the other MSM board, content that underpins the basis of my protest. Moderators can take it from here. Their Board, their rules. Wear a condom, literally and figuratively. You never knows, do ya. From what I can gather so far, a similar complaint has been brought upstairs over at the other gay forum. There are a few good dependable guys to lean on. 

[thaiophilus]

3 hours ago, floridarob said:

So you want to speak to the manager 🙄

I believe there's a "message" facility for that.

[Latbear4blk]

3 hours ago, Riobard said:

I am not looking for further discussion from the broad membership. 

If you wanted to place a complaint, you would have done it privately, as the regular protocol is. You are not a newbie. Your claim is bull shit. You wanted drama, and you are probably frustrated because, so far, you are the only drama queen.

At this point, I think it is a mental health issue. I am honest when I share that I respect you, and even if often cryptic, I can enjoy your speech as poetic discourse. But I do not think participating in online discussion forums fits your current emotional balance. Please, take a break and look for help. 

[Riobard]

1 hour ago, Latbear4blk said:

If you wanted to place a complaint, you would have done it privately, as the regular protocol is. You are not a newbie. Your claim is bull shit. You wanted drama, and you are probably frustrated because, so far, you are the only drama queen.

At this point, I think it is a mental health issue. I am honest when I share that I respect you, and even if often cryptic, I can enjoy your speech as poetic discourse. But I do not think participating in online discussion forums fits your current emotional balance. Please, take a break and look for help. 

Not a significant contribution.
I am not frustrated. I deal with pomposity like yours all the time and made a damn good living out of it. I am qualified; you are not. Your job is blogging eroticized images of youth. My background is very much clinical and you are coming across as ultra-amateurish and overly simplistic, formulaic clichéd.
Knowing your place would serve you. You are serving DJT incoherence. That makes you soooo easy. 
This is not a discussion. I’ll let you know if it qualifies as a discussion. You left the discussion earlier and anything more is out of fashion window dressing. This is me dealing with pathetic antipathy, rudeness, and dismissiveness. You own up to nothing, so nothing is of substance as you schoolmarm your path thru this. Your talking down to me is both sad and amusing.
My mental health rests on speaking my piece. Get help yourself if you have such a pressing need to be dictatorial. I am not cheap porn fodder for one of your sad Schpielberg fiascos. Go for that SAG, yaz queen. Next?

[floridarob]

31 minutes ago, Riobard said:

I deal with pomposity like yours all the time

With the mirror?

I gotta keep churning them out, you said so yourself 🧐