Cambodian mystery and Thai solution - first trip of 2023

[vinapu]

6 hours ago, alvnv said:

He could be seriously sick. Could that be one of the clues for his disappearance? In some countries there’s mandatory isolation for active hepatitis A 🤔

Of course that does not explain all other stunts he performed

I was thinking about that , yes it's possible although in last communication he could mention is not feeling well or something. But as you say does not explain those earlier antics.

If you are right perhaps one day he will contact me again with explanation but I'd figure that even if isolated he would be allowed his phone with him. But of course it's the whole face thing too.

[Jimbillp]

Well he was planning to go to BKK with you as he told the other guy from the bar the plan. Usually it’s the least dramatic but most obvious reason.  I’d guess He concluded (wrongly) you weren’t going to play along enough with his high expectations (didn’t send the further money or bring the case) and he decided to bail as he wasnt confident he would manipulate enough from it.  
 

looking forward to the rest of the report and your bouncing back

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, Jimbillp said:

Well he was planning to go to BKK with you as he told the other guy from the bar the plan. Usually it’s the least dramatic but most obvious reason.  I’d guess He concluded (wrongly) you weren’t going to play along enough with his high expectations (didn’t send the further money or bring the case) and he decided to bail as he wasnt confident he would manipulate enough from it.  
 

looking forward to the rest of the report and your bouncing back

That is my problem, all I can do is to guess.

Anyways it was fun dreaming about time together but such conclusion of the affair was in cards due to various stunts so while upset I was not that surprised , even less shocked. Just big time disappointed. 

Yes I picked up myself as soon as I left hotel to go back to Bangkok, boarded plane relieved it's over  and as we will see , trip developed quite nicely up to the last off(s) included.

[reader]

13 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Anyways it was fun dreaming about time together but such conclusion of the affair was in cards due to various stunts so while upset I was not that surprised , even less shocked. Just big time disappointed.

Your experience calls to mind a sports analogy. Although Man U is one of football's great clubs, on very rare occasions it takes the pitch but fails to score. Some might call it karma or just the odds of playing the game. And like that storied team, you surprise none of us by your penchant for picking yourself up and moving from setback to new beginning.

[floridarob]

30 minutes ago, reader said:

you surprise none of us by your penchant for picking yourself up and moving from setback to new beginning.

and not sugar coating anything and giving the bad with the good.....

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, reader said:

 you surprise none of us by your penchant for picking yourself up and moving from setback to new beginning.

I guess fact that I arranged for trip well (about 2 weeks) before CCP even contacted me helped me to get over it fast. It would be different if I came all the way specially to be with him , that would be upsetting big time.

His former bar friend was great consolator on my last night in PP , it helped too. Way it developed worst day of this trip was followed by second best if not best night. Vagaries of boy hunting !  

Before I set off for PP I had a bit concern of how I keep CCP occupied in those  5 days so in some sense it was relief I don't need to worry about that too.

Strange as it may sound I still like him but rest assured , not to a degree  I would be pursuing him again , not to mention allowing to be manipulated in any sense. Old saying ' what doesn't kill you , makes you stronger " certainly applies here.

2 hours ago, floridarob said:

and not sugar coating anything and giving the bad with the good.....

I was thinking about keeping it for myself instead of making public how big fool I was but after giving it some thought I decided to tell story so other can learn and perhaps feel better.

Most of us will still tend to think "I'm smarter and if I was vinapu I'd cut if off right away after (insert whatever moment )" 

I can live with being smarter than vinapu part but have some doubts if in circumstances everybody will be cutting deal  off instead of trying to salvage it to reasonable degree as I tried unsuccessfully. 

I was not in love neither tried to be , all I was looking for was to spent week+ with guy I met and who made the best impression on me , both as person and as prime beef. Fact that he remembered our October  talk and contacted me first was not only encouraging but thrilling too. So again , to quote Sophia from Golden Girls, while he turned bum, I still smile.

[Boy69]

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

was thinking about keeping it for myself instead of making public how big fool I was but after giving it some thought I decided to tell story so other can learn and perhaps feel better.

I don't think that you made a full of yourself. planning long term trip with a guy is hit-and-miss , sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I had been there too.

I hope you learned your lesson not to send prepayments and if very unusual requests are coming from the guy ( like fly separately without reasonable explanation) cut the deal off immediately.

[vinapu]

15 hours ago, alvnv said:

He could be seriously sick. Could that be one of the clues for his disappearance? In some countries there’s mandatory isolation for active hepatitis A 🤔

 

I got in from good authority that he is back in the bar so no, that option needs to be discounted

[vinapu]

Day 6

After emotions of previous 5 days I decided to deflate a bit and take it easy. Today was day me and CCP were supposed to arrive. For a second I entertained an idea of going to Swampy and see if he arrived utilizing free ticket my courtesy but abandoned idea fast. Why bother ? And even if he did , what it would change? I wouldn’t  even try to approach , even less to embarrass him.

After lazy morning I  left Rose and went back to Baan Silom. I liked Rose and it’s quite a option in area  if price is right. Unpacking in Baan Silom I noticed my two bottles of red wine carried from home . Now,  deprived option of seeing how it makes CCP horny I did not have much use of them but fortunately for the planet got idea who may utilize them and offered to gift to him , no strigs attached.

Passing by soi 6 , I noticed M, former masseur on duty at Tawan is now in new 9-teen massage and promised to see him one day. Solitary lunch in Foodland at 3 pm , completely empty at that hour today and then decided to check Kman spa in Saphan Kwai. Since I had Line to one of their guys I messaged him asking if he is working today and he responded he will be on duty at 5. So at 5 I was there too.

 Massage as good as last time I was there and boy’s endowment was impressive   considering he is quite diminutive twink but he is Myanmarese, you know !

Then some computer stuff and it was 9.50 pm when I noticed I should check some bars perhaps. From rotation it was Hot Male turn so went there, just in time for the show.

Three veterans of previous offs came to greet me  and one of them, Sam,  I invited for a drink. I have soft spot for him ever since I took him to Grand Palace and he turned out to be truly interested in the place. I was not even in the mood for an off  but wasting time is not my thing so asked him to go with me and judging by reaction it was exactly what he  was waiting for.

So of we went via Foodland where while he was contemplating what to order I swear waiter told him ‘ take steak , his boy last night had it and farang paid” So steak it was.

 Not particularly steamy night but after all that recent drama I  guess I just wanted comforting warm body beside and he provided.

 

[Jimbillp]

Having been on that trip to Grand Palace and reacquainting with Sam last month I can confirm his positive disposition, and he was recalling happy moments and pictures with you even then so I can imagine the big smile when he saw you

so it was surely destiny he was the solace for your bounce back night, and restored some positive ambassadorial role for the Cambodians

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, Jimbillp said:

Having been on that trip to Grand Palace and reacquainting with Sam last month I can confirm his positive disposition, and he was recalling happy moments and pictures with you even then so I can imagine the big smile when he saw you

so it was surely destiny he was the solace for your bounce back night, and restored some positive ambassadorial role for the Cambodians

yes , he was exactly what  I needed that night, friend with benefits. If I would be looking for companion to travel in the region , indeed Sam would be candidate # 1 as he made impression he is really interested in seeing places. 

despite misadventure with CCP I don't hold it against whole nation and indeed had few very rewarding meetings with Cambodians this trip including my last night in Phnom Penh.

 

[alvnv]

5 hours ago, vinapu said:

I got in from good authority that he is back in the bar so no, that option needs to be discounted

As strange as it is, there he is - back at the same bar - having forfeited quite handsome an income. I wonder if he realizes how long and how much it will take him (time and effort) to make up for it.

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, alvnv said:

 having forfeited quite handsome an income. I wonder if he realizes how long and how much it will take him (time and effort) to make up for it.

I have no doubt he realizes unless he assessed me as cheat and lost hope that I will pay him anything but that's highly unlikely in view that after all I send him some advance money, right ? 

All I know is that all money I had aside for him I spent on other guys including his bar friend and I'm happy I did.

I also received his picture and I'm truly glad he looks much better than when we met at the airport. Perhpas whole experience worked like bucket of cold water for him.

It would be similar to what I had in October when Handsome Cambodian taken to BKK for 4 days dumped me after 1 night over dispute related to excessive phone use forfeiting 12000 . Two weeks later when I saw him he admitted that realisation of his hotheadedness and loss created caused short depression   and when I offed him , he was changed man indeed. 

In few days we will meet him again, ( report in due course ) and he was even more hot and charming. 

Does it mean there's hope for me for another try at CCP ? LOL

[TotallyOz]

Yes, always!

[vinapu]

1 minute ago, TotallyOz said:

Yes, always!

I agree , hope dies last.

[floridarob]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

Does it mean there's hope for me for another try at CCP ? LOL

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[MarcSingap]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

I have no doubt he realizes unless he assessed me as cheat and lost hope that I will pay him anything but that's highly unlikely in view that after all I send him some advance money, right ? 

All I know is that all money I had aside for him I spent on other guys including his bar friend and I'm happy I did.

I also received his picture and I'm truly glad he looks much better than when we met at the airport. Perhpas whole experience worked like bucket of cold water for him.

It would be similar to what I had in October when Handsome Cambodian taken to BKK for 4 days dumped me after 1 night over dispute related to excessive phone use forfeiting 12000 . Two weeks later when I saw him he admitted that realisation of his hotheadedness and loss created caused short depression   and when I offed him , he was changed man indeed. 

In few days we will meet him again, ( report in due course ) and he was even more hot and charming. 

Does it mean there's hope for me for another try at CCP ? LOL

Another try ? Nooooooo

So many other boys from Cambodia are handsome and nice and with a better behavior...

[TotallyOz]

6 hours ago, MarcSingap said:

Another try ? Nooooooo

So many other boys from Cambodia are handsome and nice and with a better behavior...

Sometimes life just gets in the way and second or third chances mean a lot to someone.

[reader]

One evening I arranged to meet a guy who had given me a few massages during the proceeding week. He appeared on time at the designated meeting place (outside the Raya) at midnight. Things generally went well but there were some awkward moments. He slept soundly over night but declined invitation for breakfast. When we parted I was sure that was the beginning and the end of the affair.

As I reflected on the evening over breakfast, I was puzzled. We had gotten along really well in his shop, laughing easily and feeling anything but awkward. But he was on his home turf then. I concluded perhaps he had been burned before by a farang he had met. Nevertheless, I  tried to put him out of my mind.

It was only a few days later when I passed his shop again and he was among the guys standing outside with menus in their hand. He beamed a smile at me and we chatted for less than a minute before we went inside for our third session.  Everything went well. His English was almost non-existent at the time so as I was trying unsuccessfully to ask him a question as we walked out later he gestured to a coworker to act as interpreter.

"You want to meet me after work tonight" was turned into Thai and the reply was a vigorous nod of his head and huge smile.

So as much as I believe Vinapu's prince charming doesn't deserve another chance, I'm reminded that had I denied it to my masseur, I would have missed out on seven of the happiest years of my life. We remain together to this day.

[floridarob]

25 minutes ago, reader said:

So as much as I believe Vinapu's prince charming doesn't deserve another chance,

I don't think he deserved a 1st chance.....

[spoon]

Thanks vinapu for the full report! 

Ive been busy to continue my own report but cant miss reading yours hehe. 

I am a firm believer of giving guys 2nd or 3rd chance, especially when i really like the guy, or i heard good reviews/report from others.

Very recently, I made an appointment with a guy from grindr, and i agree to his rate without negotiation, and set a time. He wasnt responsive when i texted near the set time, and i waited for him a while, went around to find something to eat, then back. He finally replied saying he is otw back from eating. Anyway, i told him im still around the area and he said he can meet. I waited again, and still slow response. Just when im about to give up, i texted him again, for one last time, and he finally asked me where i am. 

Its basically an hour after our set time to meet. Normally, i would be fuming. But i really like his picture and he also got good reviews, so i decided to give him his chance to prove that he is worth his rate. When we finally met, he told me what happened, which to me, doesnt really matter much since i really like what i see lol. 

Back in his room, all goes really well. Very passionate and does pretty much everything i wanted. Definitely worth all the trouble. All is forgiven indeed. And i did this for someone ive never met, and only saw his pic from grindr. Its a rare find for me, and given my pickiness, might be a while before i find this type and quality again, so im glad i gave him another chance.

My current regular masseur, who is a very skillful massage, muscular, and great body to body skills as well, and willing to do certain things i like, but not all since he is straight. My first experience with him was below average. The massage was great but he stays clothed and the happy ending was really bad. Looking back, it was my hesistance on what kind of after services i wanted was the issue, as he has certain price for HJ, or more. Anyway, i did take him again and ask for more than just HJ for a price, and he certainly deliver!

Now, i trust vinapu's taste and type are similar with me, so if im in his shoes, id probably wouldve given CCP another chance. But, it would be very unlikely for me to take a leap of faith and plan a trip without even slept with the guy. My logic has always been at least a few overnights before i even think of a trip together. Sending money, also wouldve been very rare for me, and only for someone who ive had been with plenty of time.

But, i have to admit, ive yet found a bar guy, who despite a good fun time in bar, refused to go with me back to my hotel and then texted me months later he is ready to go with me. Its in human nature when we are told no, the more we want it lol. I had one experience with a masseur at regular massage place who let me touch him and we exchange line. And when i asked if he is interested to go to my room, he says no, indirectly. If this guy suddenly texted me he finally agree to meet me in hotel, id probably do something similar lol. Too bad, he no longer work there and probably change his line and we lost contact. 

[vinapu]

It's obvious  that few friends who were privy to whole affair from beginning and those who commented above in the thread were / are right. Failure of the whole affair attests to that. Everybody was unanimous "cut him off" or " at this point I'd not invest any more money in him" (after that strange change flight request ) 

But me being stupid , did not listen and engineered my own disappointment. You guys were right and I was wrong . But it was nice to have such dream and hope and it's why I still smile, specially in view rest of trip was rewarding, thank you very much. It will be small setback but I'd say , included in price.

17 hours ago, floridarob said:

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

17 hours ago, MarcSingap said:

Another try ? Nooooooo

So many other boys from Cambodia are handsome and nice and with a better behavior...

 At this moment problem of second chance is very academic. Due to personal circumstances this year 2023 is BIG question mark for me. No,  I'm not in trouble but life got in the way. Chances are that out of 4 planned times I wish I could travel to Thailand  (May, July , Oct and Dec ) this year none will materialize. And truth is it's not even in my control. 

I understand very well advices quoted above and I don't have any plans to even try to contact my Cambodian Charming Prince again. But if he would, chances are , even knowing  what I know now and rich in your advices and comments I will try again. Definitely I wouldn't even try to arrange for foreign trip again, that's sure thing. Not unless I'd spend at least few days and night with guy in question, not CCP but any guy. That lesson was absorbed.

But I  get some explanation I'd could buy  or apologies I'd  find sincere  I may fall into that trap of meeting him again. May be for dinner, may be for overnight, one step at the time,  watching my back, yes.

I too am believer in giving 2nd or even 3rd chances, again repeat case of Tawan boy , my best and 2nd worst off ever 2 years apart. And very fresh case of Handsome Cambodian described above yesterday.

CCP disappointed me , milked me  of some money but it's not a case of Stockholm syndrom, I did not suffer any harm. May be I would but I was careful enough to steer myself into safe waters.

[vinapu]

10 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

Sometimes life just gets in the way and second or third chances mean a lot to someone.

I suspect if may be a case of my dealings with Handsome Cambodian, I forgave him his antics and ever since he is better and better, we met 3 times so there's some statistic sample to back my claim up.

[vinapu]

10 hours ago, reader said:

 Things generally went well but there were some awkward moments. ....

.........

So as much as I believe Vinapu's prince charming doesn't deserve another chance, I'm reminded that had I denied it to my masseur, I would have missed out on seven of the happiest years of my life. We remain together to this day.

that made me recalling my  awkward moments with two different , well rehearsed guys few trips apart. Scenarios were identical, they gladly went with me but in the room started to behave strangely . First guy was brave , I asked him "what is wrong " and answer was clear cut " you did not brush your teeth" .

Second time was easier, I recalled that situation from year or two before and run to the washroom.

All went well after. Now whenever I have guy in the room I brush my teeth and rinse with Listerine BEFORE we even shower.  

 

...........

I agree with you about not deserving part, I'm not as much upset as offended for taking me that lightly. I have feeling I deserve better, at least some explanation or at minimum ' no, good bye ".

But also for me whole thing is mystery I'm intrigued with and if I have chance to shed some light on it I will try .

[vinapu]

9 hours ago, floridarob said:

I don't think he deserved a 1st chance.....

Obviously you assessed situation better then me  but I'm still , warts and all, happy I tried.

8 hours ago, spoon said:

I am a firm believer of giving guys 2nd or 3rd chance, especially when i really like the guy, or i heard good reviews/report from others.

 

another confirmation we are twin brothers, only from different sets of parents