Are you sociable ?

[Olddaddy]

Just wondering how many of you are "sociable" when you travel esp to places like Pattaya where there are many like minded farang.

Xmas is coming along and some of you I know live alone and this travel to the wonders of Thailand for company .

Are you a extrovert or introvert?

Can you walk into say the home bar and start a conversation up or do you take a sit in the corner and don't look at any other farangs ?

Now leave the money boys out of this ,I just want to know if your sociable with other farangs 

[vinapu]

I'm shy introvert although not necessarily one who seats in the corner and won't look at other farangs but certainly not one who strikes conversation with strangers in bar first. How I managed to meet 29 of our members is one of life great mysteries  

[TMax]

I would class myself as a shy introvert (like vinapu), whilst I most likely won't start a conversation with a farang in a bar I would join in and I certainly don't sit in the corner. I will also say my eyes aren't on the farangs but are fixed on the talent in the bar🤗

[jason1975]

5 hours ago, vinapu said:

I'm shy introvert although not necessarily one who seats in the corner and won't look at other farangs but certainly not one who strikes conversation with strangers in bar first. How I managed to meet 29 of our members is one of life great mysteries  

I believe strangers will approach you to strike conversation!

[Gaybutton]

I doubt anyone who ever met me would classify me as an introvert, but when I go out to the bars (which is very rare these days) sorry, but I ain't there to socialize with farang - unless I went with friends.  I've had had nice conversations with farang in the bars when the moment was right, but it just happened.  I wasn't looking for that.

I'll let you gents guess for yourselves what I was looking for . . .

[ichigo]

I'm pretty shy and introverted, so likely won't start a conversation with anyone, however I will attempt conversation if someone talks to me, I'm just not very good at it lol. I prefer gogo bars as I feel there isn't so much of the social aspect there compared to a host bar. I can just happily watch the show by myself, have a drink and choose a guy, plus conversation is too hard anyway due to a combination of English skills and the deafening volume of the speakers.

[fedssocr]

Pretty much total introvert here. I like to watch and observe. I often say I don't like people but I'm not sure that's entirely true. I am able to hold a conversation if necessary, but tend to be fairly guarded with strangers.

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

I doubt anyone who ever met me would classify me as an introvert, but when I go out to the bars (which is very rare these days) sorry, but I ain't there to socialize with farang - unless I went with friends.  I've had had nice conversations with farang in the bars when the moment was right, but it just happened.  I wasn't looking for that.

I'll let you gents guess for yourselves what I was looking for . . .

Where washroom is? 

[Gaybutton]

3 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Where washroom is? 

I forgot.  Usually that is my first stop.  I meant after that . . .

[floridarob]

12 hours ago, vinapu said:

certainly not one who strikes conversation with strangers in bar

I beg to differ....there is a nice older gentleman that was sitting at Hot Male that you went right  to ,  hugged and started a great conversation with that I witnessed 😝

[kokopelli3]

5 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

I doubt anyone who ever met me would classify me as an introvert, but when I go out to the bars (which is very rare these days) sorry, but I ain't there to socialize with farang - unless I went with friends.  I've had had nice conversations with farang in the bars when the moment was right, but it just happened.  I wasn't looking for that.

I'll let you gents guess for yourselves what I was looking for . . .

Can't imagine!

[gayinpattaya]

This whole thread is essentially, "How do differentiate expats from tourists". 

Group of 8 farang around a table? expats
Guy sat alone looking at boys? Tourist. 
Sure, there are always exceptions. Just most expats go to bars to chat to friends. We don't need bar fines to get our boys.  

[Olddaddy]

You see all the replies were what I thought .

Compare this to the straight steas in Pattaya where all the farangs actually & socialise with each other ......but times are changing and whether the next gay Gen will be more social with each other who knowsbut you see the difference in say areas such as soi bukhao etc where straight farangs mingle 

Ok I will admit bars such as home bar & Oz cockatoo etc are starting to change that but it took a long time 

[Londoner]

No, no and....no. Never have been sociable.

But there was an occasion in Pattaya when I was exactly that. It was my during first trip in 1995 . I used to have a pre bar-opening drink in Panorama, and often found myself in fascinating conversation with other falangs.

I'd only been "out" for a couple of years and being able to talk with other gay men was delightful after all those years of silence and repression..

[maump]

I am very sociable, I start friendly conversations with almost anyone who does not indicate distain.  I chat with clerks bellhops, concierges, 7-11 clerks, waiters, cops... if we speak the same language. ( i even bought water for a couple of thai traffic cops in BKK because I thought they were dying dressed in black in the sun directing traffic) . 

when last in Pattaya (2016) I went out with Gaybutton (and ?) gay expat gang to the weekly (bi-weekly?) dinner at the german restaurant then went with a subset of the guys to several sleezy bars in sunee.  I had a good time. 

I wont walk up to your table in Jomtien and introduce myself....  but if you are alone at the bar or sittting next to me at a gogo bar without a boy, i will probably try to start a conversation.  I talk to guys at the gym (here in USA)...  just wishful thinking

I hope to see some of you guys in Jomtien area this christmas.  would be happy to go out to dinner and  chat...

[zombie]

On 11/24/2022 at 11:19 AM, vinapu said:

I'm shy introvert although not necessarily one who seats in the corner and won't look at other farangs but certainly not one who strikes conversation with strangers in bar first. How I managed to meet 29 of our members is one of life great mysteries  

I am sure it is not a mystery. From your posts on this forum you seem like a very nice person.

😃

[Olddaddy]

7 hours ago, maump said:

I am very sociable, I start friendly conversations with almost anyone who does not indicate distain.  I chat with clerks bellhops, concierges, 7-11 clerks, waiters, cops... if we speak the same language. ( i even bought water for a couple of thai traffic cops in BKK because I thought they were dying dressed in black in the sun directing traffic) . 

when last in Pattaya (2016) I went out with Gaybutton (and ?) gay expat gang to the weekly (bi-weekly?) dinner at the german restaurant then went with a subset of the guys to several sleezy bars in sunee.  I had a good time. 

I wont walk up to your table in Jomtien and introduce myself....  but if you are alone at the bar or sittting next to me at a gogo bar without a boy, i will probably try to start a conversation.  I talk to guys at the gym (here in USA)...  just wishful thinking

I hope to see some of you guys in Jomtien area this christmas.  would be happy to go out to dinner and  chat...

How many farang ignore you or a rude back ?

[dscrtsldnbi]

I'm another shy introvert here who rarely sits at bars but if and when I do, I am not necessarily the one who sits in the corner. I like watching people and for me, it is like good old-fashioned theatre: I sit comfortably and I watch  - which is very different from the modern 'immersive' theatre when, while being in the audience, you may suddenly find yourself becoming a member of the cast as well (I absolutely hate that). So, I am very unlikely to approah other farangs and most certainly, I am not the one who strikes a conversation with strangers first. Those who do strike a conversation with me first often tell me afterwards that I have rather intimidating looks (I could never understand what they mean by that, by the way; ugliness does intimitade some people though, that's true). I won't classify myself and sociable. A sociopath who is well-trained in tolerance, maybe.

[maump]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

How many farang ignore you or a rude back ?

very few, but I don't intrude on people.   Most people who want to be left alone give off a vibe that is pretty easy to see.  and I dont walk up to a table and "hey, how are you, I'm an american, can I sit with you, look at the abs on that twink, would love to eat his ass!  how about you?"   I'll chat with the bartender, then make a comment in your direction.. if I can get a smile out of you, then I will chat some with you.

[Lucky]

I've met over one hundred posters on the Daddy site. But I am introverted at things like the Palm Springs Weekend.

[Mavica]

I’m an extrovert, easily meet and engage in conversation with anyone … but I’m not intrusive.  I do oftentimes initiate a conversation with strangers.  However, I respect other gay men when they’re occupied with a MB (or in Rio with a GP) or are obviously actively cruising.  It’s been the rare instance when I’ve encountered someone who isn’t interested in some conversation.
 

The first gay bar I visited in BKK was Harry’s (Silom 2) in the early 1990s which I’m recalling wasn’t so much a formalized MB bar but, rather, it was recommended to me as a place the uninitiated (in BKK) English-speakers could find gay men from elsewhere who visited BKK frequently helpfully answered questions about the scene and pointed you in the right direction.  The owner/manager was very patient/helpful with questions/answers. I learned so much in those early visits from the Dreaded Ned’s website, it’s excellent directory of gay bars and businesses, and the rough-and-tumble (frequently combative) message board.  

[vinapu]

On 11/24/2022 at 10:57 AM, floridarob said:

I beg to differ....there is a nice older gentleman that was sitting at Hot Male that you went right  to ,  hugged and started a great conversation with that I witnessed 😝

Only because I thought it was you , never expected you will be younger, lol

[vinapu]

13 hours ago, zombie said:

I am sure it is not a mystery. From your posts on this forum you seem like a very nice person.

😃

Me nice ? 

I don,t hear it often so very thank you !

[forrestreid]

A discussion of “sociability” in the context of a message board brings up some interesting implications.

 

Generally I would see myself as being quite an introverted person.

 

For instance, I would a bit stressed out by the thoughts of sitting beside someone I hardly knew at a staff Christmas party, for example. And I would probably behave in that situation in a way that would be seen as “shy”. But if I have a specific reason to talk, somebody, I can be quite forward.

 

I think that meeting people in real life that you have only interacted with online can be something of scrambling of normal parameters. Although generally I’m quite introverted, I have in the past made an effort to meet some people who I have known from Thai message boards, such as Smiles, or Christian PFC, that I thought would be interesting to talk to, based on their message board persona.

 

I remember about 15 years ago, when I used to post on an Irish gay message board, and there was discussion of a real life meet-up in a pub.  I was happy to go, but a friend of mine, who I knew in real life and also posted on the board, and who is generally far more extroverted than me (especially if he was out in a pub, and had a drink on him) was much more uncertain about the idea.

 

He was not quite sure why, he said he thought the other posters might turn out to be weirdos, but I think he was just a bit uneasy with the idea of meeting some people in real life, and perhaps not feeling he knew them really as as they were previously a name on a screen.

 

Whereas I,  who would usually see myself as having a more stand-off or cooler manner, was more comfortable with the idea of meeting such people.

 

I think, it is partly due to the fact that I, like a lot of introverted people, have a rather more instrumental attitude to meeting people. I was looking forward to having the chance to tease out some of the topics I had been discussing in message threads with people face-to-face, where is he was more like “will I like these people?” (in a backslapping sort of way).

 

When I say "instrumental attitude" I don't mean I just want to meet people to get what I can out of them, I mean I am thinking "it would be cool to meet x, we are both interested going to Ko Samet, we can share knowledge", rather than my friend, who would be wondering whether prospective companions might be good fun or not  (or "any crack?" as we say in Ireland).

 

[Olddaddy]

Stranger even is sometime on a message board who could appear to be extrovert then meet them in real life and it's the scrawny bloke in the corner with thick glasses with his head down 🤣