Losing Face?

[Max6969]

So... i am ready for my 1st trip to Thailand next week,  but 1 thing bothers me.

My knowledge of Thai/Asian culture is limited but i keep hearing : dont make them "Lose Face" or you lose parts of Your face.

My plan for both BKK and Pattaya is to stick to the 1 day rule (or so i hope), so to have a new guy every day or 2 days, i like my personal space anyway so a boy 24/7 is not my thing.

BUT i hear people in Pattaya know eachother, there is no privacy. So what happens when "Boy 1" sees you another day with "Boy 2" ? Do they start making a scene and start shouting at you like the women do or nothing happens ? (Again i would not start dating the boys or make commitments or lies, just 1 night. So in my Western eyes (lol), it should be fine). I already found 2 boys on Social media but they are friends so i'm a little worried 1 could "lose face". 

Should i be worried about this ? Avoid it ?

Your advice and experiences ?

Thanks

[Boy69]

You are dealing with money boys they used to see their clients changing boys every day and sometimes more than one boy a day so it's not a big deal for them.

Regarding the boys who are friends if they aware to the situation that you are dating both of them and agree to this arrangement it won't make any issue and nobody is loosing face. 

[spoon]

The word thai boy understand is butterfly, meaning u are not looking for a bf, but rather one night stand. 

[Max6969]

30 minutes ago, spoon said:

The word thai boy understand is butterfly, meaning u are not looking for a bf, but rather one night stand. 

Many say that it supposedly is insulting when Thai's say you are a butterfly and they treat you "differently" whatever that means.

But correct "butterfly" would be better for me, to avoid getting hooked (thinking i could outsmart these boys would be foolish, so i wont give them the time to work me)

[Nikom]

During low season often if you take off a guy he will later suggest that you take off his room mate so they can pay the rent!

 

[a-447]

I have never found the guys to be clingy or demanding.

As Nikom says, guys will often recommend their friends - they seem quite willing to share the money around and help each other out. It's one of their many admirable qualities.

[kokopelli3]

10 hours ago, Max6969 said:

 Should i be worried about this ? Avoid it ?

Your advice and experiences ?

Thanks

Max, as the Thai boys say " you think too much"!  Stop worrying and start enjoying your stay in Thailand.

[gayinpattaya]

4 hours ago, Max6969 said:

Many say that it supposedly is insulting when Thai's say you are a butterfly and they treat you "differently" whatever that means.

But correct "butterfly" would be better for me, to avoid getting hooked (thinking i could outsmart these boys would be foolish, so i wont give them the time to work me)

You're over thinking the whole thing. If a bar boy calls you a butterfly, he isn't being kind to you. He's pissed off you wont be paying him more money to see him again, but another boy instead. Boys here can be very direct with their words. You get used to it.  

As for friends, you won't get any issues out and about. It may well happen that some boys wont go with you if you have been with their best friend the night before. But that's on the boy and nothing for you to worry about. Just smile and move on. 

You may be new to boy bars, but the boys here have seen it all 100 times before. Agree on activities and money before you leave the bar, and keep your word. Really, that's all the boys want you to do. They are working after all. 

[pong2]

Kokopelli says it the best: it is in touristy places a non-issue. And you will be far too scared and unknowing to venture out of those.

Actually it works for the normal tourist rather the other way: that s one main reason why Thaild gets so many rave reviews about good service, smiling attention etc.

Actually exact translating from the Thai it is ´broken face´ not lost.

The main exception is when you have to deal with authority: on arrival, after that hardly anymore, but it may happen.  Then THEY are above you. It may force you to be polite and showing off as a good tourist. But that last for 10 secs. In fact this whole thing is mostly about ´class distinction´ a very rife thing here: no one is equal, in theory there is always someone higher/lower.

[vinapu]

14 hours ago, Max6969 said:

Many say that it supposedly is insulting when Thai's say you are a butterfly 

One of my guys after seeing me with another one called me " my Casanova", 

To this day I, m not sure if that was good or bad comment although I find using "my" bit possesive

[Max6969]

3 hours ago, vinapu said:

One of my guys after seeing me with another one called me " my Casanova", 

To this day I, m not sure if that was good or bad comment although I find using "my" bit possesive

Its funny 😅

I actually called a guy that before myself, never even had him 😆

[NIrishGuy]

One of my Bf de jour once joked to me that I wasn't so much a butterfly but a helicopter ! I was almost offended until I realised he was totally correct ! lol 

[Max6969]

1 hour ago, NIrishGuy said:

One of my Bf de jour once joked to me that I wasn't so much a butterfly but a helicopter ! I was almost offended until I realised he was totally correct ! lol 

❤️ it

[zoomomancs]

On 10/22/2022 at 7:20 AM, Max6969 said:

So... i am ready for my 1st trip to Thailand next week,  but 1 thing bothers me.

My knowledge of Thai/Asian culture is limited but i keep hearing : dont make them "Lose Face" or you lose parts of Your face.

My plan for both BKK and Pattaya is to stick to the 1 day rule (or so i hope), so to have a new guy every day or 2 days, i like my personal space anyway so a boy 24/7 is not my thing.

BUT i hear people in Pattaya know eachother, there is no privacy. So what happens when "Boy 1" sees you another day with "Boy 2" ? Do they start making a scene and start shouting at you like the women do or nothing happens ? (Again i would not start dating the boys or make commitments or lies, just 1 night. So in my Western eyes (lol), it should be fine). I already found 2 boys on Social media but they are friends so i'm a little worried 1 could "lose face". 

Should i be worried about this ? Avoid it ?

Your advice and experiences ?

Thanks

In 44 trips I have never seen a loss of face due to my butterflying. Examples of making Thai people lose face (so to be avoided) include interfering with their property, using the f.. word at them, using a scornful tone, gross undertipping, or being angry and rude. 

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, NIrishGuy said:

One of my Bf de jour once joked to me that I wasn't so much a butterfly but a helicopter

Great sense of humor that guy has

[vaughn]

My biggest tip to prevent jealousy is don't make any promises, go with a guy and have a good time but don't promise to see them tomorrow. Tomorrow if you decide to see them again just show up, don't leave them waiting for you expecting the off.

I still get some looks from certain boys if I pick someone else from their bar the next night, but it's not that common, i suspect it's usually an act.

[Londoner]

That's excellent advice. I recall only two occasions during my Butterfly Days when I incurred the wrath of mbs; both of them claimed that I'd promised to see them and failed to do so.

Some guys are short of money and live day-to- day and so their sensitivity on this issue is understandable. I learnt to be more careful with my casual remarks. 

[floridarob]

7 hours ago, Londoner said:

Some guys are short of money and live day-to- day

and can't manage money when they have it......🙄