Vietnam Bar Boys

[PeterRS]

13 hours ago, Slvkguy said:

btw - one of their frequent games is to bait someone into a controversy/feud….and then the original  perpetrator becomes the victim claiming they’ve been bullied by the very mean existing forum members.It cerNoy  The next step is they claim ignorance of how online forums work, while simultaneously becoming abusive with frequent name-calling and gay-shaming tropes.  they will claim this forum is not welcoming to new members and then threaten to delete their accounts. obviously - they don’t delete the accounts 

it’s an established pattern unfortunately 

Not always. The late extremely unlamented Beachlover who got close to ruining at least two Thai chat rooms never claimed he was a victim nor that he was ignorant of how Boards worked.. He just continued to spew lie after lie after bigger lie and trashing other posters when he made mistakes that identified his lies.

[vinapu]

4 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

Not always. The late extremely unlamented Beachlover who got close to ruining at least two Thai chat rooms never claimed he was a victim nor that he was ignorant of how Boards worked.. He just continued to spew lie after lie after bigger lie and trashing other posters when he made mistakes that identified his lies.

Didn't boards in those days have ignored function ?

[PeterRS]

2 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Didn't boards in those days have ignored function ?

Sorry, no idea. Difficult to use Ignore if you want to spot holes in the spammer/troll comments/accusations.

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

He just continued to spew lie after lie after bigger lie and trashing other posters when he made mistakes that identified his lies.

this is true - there are dozens of identified “types” of trolls with various motives and tactics.  given we are so far along in the internet age, there are now many reputable studies that examine these types of behavior.  And you’re right - one of the types is just spewing lies.

Its kind of sad, annoying & fascinating all at the same time.  there are also many published strategies to deal w them, with the most common & effective being to ignore. they are in every online forum imaginable- it’s too be expected here given subject matter.  

like flies on shit 

[xpaulo]

3 hours ago, PeterRS said:

one of their frequent games is to bait someone into a controversy/feud….and then the original  perpetrator becomes the victim claiming they’ve been bullied

Holy shit, I had a co-worker who did that all time. And it worked, their victim always ended up having to apologize to the provoker.

[iendo]

I lived in Vietnam a good part of my life; love the country, the people, the food and the culture. I can give you a long list of what I consider to be flaws in Vietnamese boys, but being violent is not one of them.

 

[Guest]

this forum & others like it become much more manageable/tolerable when you realize there will ALWAYS be “disrupters” here with various motives.

They are almost always very new members & come looking to cause problems w various tactics.  When you notice someone causing problems, check their profile & see how long they’ve been a member - if new within last few days or weeks: BLOCK w ignore function and move on. Most of them start almost immediately upon becoming members and getting access to restricted forums.

engaging them in any way is what they want.  even if you are certain you will win the argument, prove the point or whatever …..just ignore.  

they are expert at determining how to get you riled up & engaged - making racist or contrarian political comments is one of their favorite tactics,  don’t take the bait. Making false statements about some of your favorite destinations is another one.  You cannot reason with them - they are here to disrupt and cause problems only. 

[Milk78]

2 hours ago, Slvkguy said:

this forum & others like it become much more manageable/tolerable when you realize there will ALWAYS be “disrupters” here with various motives.

i would have selected the entire post but that seemed excessive, save to say I agree with it all. 

I am interested in posts that provide positive advice - "this was amazing", "I had a great time here" etc etc, rather than those that are just filled with hate. 

There is no way one person can provide a definitive answer/ advice on anything. Of course, legitimate criticism on, say, the standard of a hotel breakfast is always useful observation, but comment on the state of how an entire nation is going to behave is just total bollocks. Simple as that really. 

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, Milk78 said:

 

I am interested in posts that provide positive advice - "this was amazing", "I had a great time here" 

 

Not disputing anything but we must remember that too much praise may be as misleading as  too much venom.

There are people who tend to look for bad things and bad things only but also those who wear rosy spectacles and listening to them may create problems, specially when comes to security. 

I recall fairy recent comment, not about Thailand, to a tune "area is absolutely secure, just don, t cross opposite side of street",  for me it sounded like " that pizza is excellent, just don, t order it" 

That, s sore point for me as one of my most long standing friends listened to similar BS against better judgment and was robbed at gun point in Montego Bay 10 minutes after stepping out his hotel. It was only 7 pm. 

 

 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

Not disputing anything but we must remember that too much praise may be as misleading as  too much venom

agreed & this requires some knowledge of the source.  I wouldn’t blindly follow any recommendations here. I will follow some recommendations from established members who go on real trips, make reports and are known people to me.  The rest - not so much.

personal safety & security is really a stand alone issue & each persons risk tolerance is different. I do what I’m comfortable with and that’s it.

I’ll generally research real crime statistics and trends for where I’m going to get a sense of the real situation on the ground,  a recent trip to São Paulo was a great example - the city is notorious for out of control crime….if you actually dig into the real numbers….the upscale enclaves such as Jardins have crime similar to Western European capitals, major US cities or less.  In the parts of SP that are further out or in a Republica, then yes…that can be problematic. And SP has had a steady decrease in crime over the last 20 years that is barely mentioned in the sensationalist media reports about crime ridden Brazil. So, doing your own research is required in just about anything here.

Things are often not as they appear, or what we are being told by others here.  A lot of it is fantastical stories written just for consumption in this forum and probably never happens at all.  Technically, another form of “disrupter” which was your original point. 

[Gaybutton]

The idea that it is valid to prejudge a bar boy based upon where he comes from has to be one of the most absurd, idiotic ideas I have ever seen posted on these boards.

You go to a bar, see a boy you like, call him over for a drink, and then discover he comes from Vietnam.  And that is supposed to automatically mean one way or another he is going to mistreat you or is at least more likely to mistreat you than boys who come from other countries?  I don't know what kind of mind conjured up that one, but I hope those reading this have better sense than to assume such a thing is what to expect.

Any bar boy, no matter where he comes from, has the potential to be one of the best experiences you have ever had or the potential to be a nightmare.

It has been my experience that how well a bar boy treats you is the likely result of just one thing, and only one thing - how well you are treating him.

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

The idea that it is valid to prejudge a bar boy based upon where he comes from has to be one of the most absurd, idiotic ideas I have ever seen posted on these boards.

 

5 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

It has been my experience that how well a bar boy treats you is the likely result of just one thing, and only one thing - how well you are treating him.

I agree 123. 83% with you on first  part and I  don,t even think is worth starting discussion about that kind of prejudices. 

As for second my support drops to 91. 87 as unfortunately from time to time we may meet one who may be taking a bit of advantage of our support for them. I, m not talking about requests for money after the convention but we all lilkely experienced those who cut on promised what they do or, my particularly sore point, on time promised.

Other case will be to invite them for a meal only to see them pickin up most expensive dishes or going to bar  only to see them treating their friends there at our expense without even bothering to ask. 

This sometimes hurts, to treat them well and still be taken advantage of. 

[reader]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

Other case will be to invite them for a meal only to see them pickin up most expensive dishes

Had that happen with one guy on last trip. Ordered multiple dishes and didn't finish any. Good otherwise but the was last supper with him.

[khaolakguy]

2 hours ago, reader said:

Had that happen with one guy on last trip. Ordered multiple dishes and didn't finish any. Good otherwise but the was last supper with him.

Was he crucified afterwards? 😄

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

no matter where he comes from, has the potential to be one of the best experiences you have ever had or the potential to be a nightmare.

just like the clients - and the members here

[reader]

1 hour ago, khaolakguy said:

Was he crucified afterwards? 😄

Metaphorically you might say.

[Gaybutton]

8 hours ago, reader said:

Had that happen with one guy on last trip. Ordered multiple dishes and didn't finish any.

Was it a Thai restaurant?  If it was, ordering 3 or 4 dishes is the norm.  Only rarely do they order only one dish, especially if it's dinner time and for sure if someone else is paying.  In farang restaurants the meal usually includes other items, such as potatoes and vegetables and it's your own food. 

In Thai restaurants what you order is what you get.  The meal doesn't come with anything unless you order it.

I quite often eat with Thais in Thai restaurants.  Nobody ever orders a meal for himself.  They always order several items and everybody shares.

[reader]

55 minutes ago, Gaybutton said:

Was it a Thai restaurant?

It was a popular Mexican restaurant in Silom.

55 minutes ago, Gaybutton said:

 In farang restaurants the meal usually includes other items, such as potatoes and vegetables and it's your own food.

Very observant of you, GB. 😉

[PeterRS]

2 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

Was it a Thai restaurant?  If it was, ordering 3 or 4 dishes is the norm.

Isn't that one of the great joys of Thai food - the variety you can enjoy at each meal? As most will know the same is true with Chinese meals, although the 7 or 8 different basic cuisines in that country lead to the possibility of even greater variety.

[Gaybutton]

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Isn't that one of the great joys of Thai food - the variety you can enjoy at each meal?

It certainly is.  For me it took a few years to be able to handle eating the spiced up foods, but now I can.  That makes it even better for me and better for my Thai friends who no longer have to order special for me.  Whatever they eat, I eat too (although half the time I have no idea what the hell it is - and I may be better off not knowing).

[Londoner]

One thing I recall from "Culture Shock Thailand"  is that one of the rules of etiquette concerning meals is that it is not considered good manners to gobble-up every scrap that you are offered at dinner  since it implies that you are not satisfied with the portions provided.

Another one, by the way, is always to take a portion of rice before attacking the meat dishes.

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Isn't that one of the great joys of Thai food - the variety you can enjoy at each meal? 

 

It is but point made was that some of our guests are ordering too much and too expensive dishes leading to farangs excessive spending on food which is partially wasted

 

[Gaybutton]

2 hours ago, Londoner said:

one of the rules of etiquette concerning meals is that it is not considered good manners to gobble-up every scrap that you are offered at dinner  since it implies that you are not satisfied with the portions provided.

I've never heard the one about the rice, but I have heard the one about leaving some on your plate.  I also know it's something someone just made up years ago and somehow it stuck.  It's not true.

[macaroni21]

11 hours ago, reader said:

It was a popular Mexican restaurant in Silom.

But maybe the Thai boy didn't know that in such a restaurant one is supposed to order an individual dish? He could well have thought that, like in Thai dining, one orders 3 - 4 dishes to share. The typical Thai boy isn't as well travelled as some folks here. 

[reader]

You'd me amazed, Macaroni guy, where some of these Thai boys have been.