(Warning: a bit sad) Has this happened to you?

[reader]

The posts in this thread and recent others suggests that those individuals we remember most intently were those who engaged us in ways that others did not. Although it may have been great sex that initially sparked the relationship, the guys we write about seem to have a common denominator: they reached us on an emotional level that left us feeling more whole and better about ourselves than our typical offs.

Hopefully these pages will help us deal with aftermath of those often tragic deaths, and come to some kind of peace in our hearts

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, scott456 said:

This why you need to set up a living trust (if in the U.S.), and put all your assets in the trust. Make list of these assets,  attach it to the Trust document.  When you die, the successor trustee will be able to take care of it.  This has nothing to do with paper/paperless systems.  Your successor trustee will have access to those assets in the trust even without online passwords.

this is not what I was talking about, my point is that most people don't even think about , not to mention  do,  what I underlined in your post.( i'd add also potential obligations to the list ) - see GWMinUS  post just above

Then we die and nobody knows

[maump]

8 hours ago, GWMinUS said:

Here in the US, and I am sure in many countries, there is a Legal Document called a Durable Power of Attorney. It empowers someone to act for you if you are unable to make decisions yourself and when you die to take over your affairs. As I am now 81 and my partner is 75, we both keep reminding each other that we need to find a Lawyer and set up this document. But it seems we never get around to it...

So be advised. Take the time and prepare for the inevitable!!

In the US, as most of you probably know, you don't need a lawyer to do these documents.  There are many places on the web you can get the forms for free, fill them out, witness (sometimes notarize).  I did all this before heart surgery years ago.  I have all my info in quicken and a note in the will how to access it.  as well as a file cabinet.  my brother is executor, cousin is next in line.  Medical power of attorney as well (living will/ medical directives).

However, not only must you make these documents, you have to keep them up.  Digital security and your own procrastination make it harder.  I need to update all this stuff but....  over the years and changing times more accounts, more assets.  How will my executor get in my accounts with all the dual verifications?  old fashion letters from a lawyer or access to my phone and email to do the verifications.  Of course once this info is given out... anyone who has it can remove your assets.   Oh the webs we weave! 

durable power of attorney example: https://www.rocketlawyer.com/sem/power-of-attorney.rl?id=5&partnerid=103&cid=14855572246&adgid=127584198843&loc_int=&loc_phys=1027028&mt=b&ntwk=g&dv=c&adid=452916143690&kw=power of attorney form&adpos=&plc=&trgt=&trgtid=kwd-10280680&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjvaYBhDlARIsAO8PkE2j1xvgLNDiTve0GaofM4yWNPo1oLKDiLBGkxf39wsZIHPJuPj-rG4aAn2EEALw_wcB#/

Medical Power of attorney: https://www.rocketlawyer.com/sem/healthcare-power-of-attorney?id=2081&partnerid=103&cid=14855572246&adgid=127584199123&loc_int=&loc_phys=1027028&mt=b&ntwk=g&dv=c&adid=581867858309&kw=medical power of attorney form&adpos=&plc=&trgt=&trgtid=kwd-18078826&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjvaYBhDlARIsAO8PkE0kD3-JXgEqxto5T3QY3yvODRicZ9787HAMNUjmwLwrme7yt7khzE0aAjD3EALw_wcB

will , living trust: https://www.legalzoom.com/marketing/estate-planning/estate-plan-bundle?kid=_k_Cj0KCQjwjvaYBhDlARIsAO8PkE0-NkFe-et1HjTp7S45mMYfSAIJCtN9-zPY2nj9xq4l-YhiCf5YTYsaAuV0EALw_wcB_k_&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=+living +will +power of +attorney&utm_content=424709655317&utm_campaign=Consumer | Overlap | Broad&kpid=go_9600816136_104526442728_424709655317_kwd-296529524291_c&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjvaYBhDlARIsAO8PkE0-NkFe-et1HjTp7S45mMYfSAIJCtN9-zPY2nj9xq4l-YhiCf5YTYsaAuV0EALw_wcB

Individual Results may vary, and testimonials are not claimed to represent typical results.

[reader]

6 hours ago, vinapu said:

Then we die and nobody knows

In my state alone, the state treasurer holds more than $2 billion in money and valuables that's unclaimed by its legal owners.

Four years ago, while browsing the treasurer's website with names of individuals, I discovered that my late father (who had died 21 years earlier) had unclaimed funds. After providing all the required documentation I was sent a check for the balance. It came to $12.58. Why? because the bank that been holding it for the maximum time allowed had been charging annual account maintenance fees that whittled away the principal on deposit. 

How did this happen? My father left no record of the account that even he himself may have forgotten about in his retirement.

This prompted me to keep my executor (trust attorney) provided with a current list of all my accounts and investments. He didn't want the passwords, just the information he needed to settle my estate without probate. (In most US states, your trust must be named as the beneficiary of accounts in order to avoid probating the trust).

 

[vinapu]

2 minutes ago, reader said:

 

He didn't want the passwords, just the information 

 

probably legally nobody can enter our account using passwords after we are gone but I may be wrong

[vinapu]

13 hours ago, GWMinUS said:

Here in the US, and I am sure in many countries, there is a Legal Document called a Durable Power of Attorney. It empowers someone to act for you if you are unable to make decisions yourself and when you die to take over your affairs.

where I live Power of Attorney of any kind becomes invalid at death and Will , if any , takes over.

[reader]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

probably legally nobody can enter our account using passwords after we are gone but I may be wrong

 

There's nothing to prevent an individual from sharing their password to various types of accounts in advance of their death. Whether that password can be legally used post death is subject to "terms of use" and any applicable law.

 

In the US there are legal services that offer to facilitate the process for estate planning purposes.

 

This opens up the discussion as to what accounts an individual may NOT wish to be accessed after their death. Do you really want anyone to have access to your email, blogs (i.e., this one, Grindr, etc.), LINE, phone records, texts, Instagram, FB, Twitter). In many cases, I'd suspect the answer is no.

 

So we all have some thinking to do. We may have very good reasons for providing our executor and/or attorney with financial account information. On the other hand, we may wish to direct the same individual to destroy any record of other on-line accounts (and passwords) upon our death. We may well wish to discuss our wishes now with that person (executor) who will be going through our things after we pass.

 

[floridarob]

6 hours ago, reader said:

Do you really want anyone to have access to your email, blogs (i.e., this one, Grindr, etc.), LINE, phone records, texts, Instagram, FB, Twitter).

For Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/help/103897939701143

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, reader said:

 

There's nothing to prevent an individual from sharing their password to various types of accounts in advance of their death.

 

Lucky  you. Where I 'm certainly sharing password to log in computer at work is prohibited and may be just cause for dismissal.

Password for internet banking the same , no dismissal obviously but may cause denial of service.

[Olddaddy]

45 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Lucky  you. Where I 'm certainly sharing password to log in computer at work is prohibited and may be just cause for dismissal.

Password for internet banking the same , no dismissal obviously but may cause denial of service.

Last week towards my retirement I plan to get dismissed , I plan to send all the senior managers this 🖕🖕🖕

[scott456]

28 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

Last week towards my retirement I plan to get dismissed , I plan to send all the senior managers this 🖕🖕🖕

Only three 🖕 ?

I am sure they have given you more than three.

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, scott456 said:

Only three 🖕 ?

I am sure they have given you more than three.

Unfortunately working for the government there are more managers than workers 

[reader]

8 hours ago, vinapu said:

Lucky  you. Where I 'm certainly sharing password to log in computer at work is prohibited and may be just cause for dismissal.

Good point. When using computers or other devices that are property of employer, anything you write, any place you wander on the net can legally be accessed by the system administrator. Their is no assurance of any privacy whatsoever. I don't want to take this thread any more off topic than I have but this extract from an article on the topic sums it up pretty well I thought. (BYOD = bring your own device).

The lines continue to blur between personal and business use of technology, and the rise of BYOD probably bears much of the blame. This has occurred despite the fact that many organizations do define those lines in “acceptable use” policies that govern use of corporate IT assets, including on-premises internet access and employer-issued laptops, tablets, and smartphones.

Whether at work or school, many of us have agreed to such acceptable use and/or security policies — and soon forgotten or outright disregarded them. In fact, many people are comfortable treating employer-issued devices as their own — even if it means exposing sensitive information, increasing their vulnerability to phishing, or flaunting their organization’s security policy.

https://www.proofpoint.com/us/security-awareness/post/employees-take-risks-when-using-corporate-devices-personal-tasks

[maump]

17 hours ago, vinapu said:

where I live Power of Attorney of any kind becomes invalid at death and Will , if any , takes over.

Yes, at death (USA), the power of attorney is voided (kind of), all your financial accounts are locked.  I learned this when my father died.  it did not take too long (couple weeks) to get his checking opened for me (executor) to continue paying the estate bills.

to avoid this (in USA) for your partner, you must have him listed as co-owner of the account (then the account will not be frozen).  Accounts with co-owners are not locked.

Many things happen when the accounts are locked that may be undesirable (utility bill goes unpaid....)

[scott456]

14 hours ago, maump said:

Yes, at death (USA), the power of attorney is voided (kind of), all your financial accounts are locked.  I learned this when my father died.  it did not take too long (couple weeks) to get his checking opened for me (executor) to continue paying the estate bills.

to avoid this (in USA) for your partner, you must have him listed as co-owner of the account (then the account will not be frozen).  Accounts with co-owners are not locked.

Many things happen when the accounts are locked that may be undesirable (utility bill goes unpaid....)

change the utility bill (account) to your name, or you can pay the bill yourself (you don't have to be the utility account hold to pay the bill)

[PeterRS]

On 9/11/2022 at 8:41 PM, maump said:

In the US, as most of you probably know, you don't need a lawyer to do these documents.

Jusr a reminder - should one be needed - that if you any any assets at all in Thailand you need to have a will written and executed in Thai for the disposal of those assets. So if you own a condo, have money in a bank account, etc., without such a will the Thai courts will take an age to make its decision about their disposal. In almost 100% of the time, these will go to your nearest living relative. If you have a Thai partner here, he is likely to get nothing if there is no Thai will. This can be done relatively inexpensively through one of the law firms who do this on the internet.

[scott456]

1 hour ago, scott456 said:

change the utility bill (account) to your name, or you can pay the bill yourself (you don't have to be the utility account hold to pay the bill)

holder

[thaiophilus]

6 hours ago, PeterRS said:

This can be done relatively inexpensively through one of the law firms who do this on the internet.

Cue a new thread: "how do I find a trustworthy internet lawyer in Thailand?" The other kind have filled many an Andrew Drummond blog page...

[scott456]

There are plenty of scam artists in Thailand.  As soon as they know you are a lone foreigner in Thailand, speak no Thai, and have some leftover money, bad things could happen (wether you are dead or still living).

[Olddaddy]

23 hours ago, reader said:

Good point. When using computers or other devices that are property of employer, anything you write, any place you wander on the net can legally be accessed by the system administrator. Their is no assurance of any privacy whatsoever. I don't want to take this thread any more off topic than I have but this extract from an article on the topic sums it up pretty well I thought. (BYOD = bring your own device).

The lines continue to blur between personal and business use of technology, and the rise of BYOD probably bears much of the blame. This has occurred despite the fact that many organizations do define those lines in “acceptable use” policies that govern use of corporate IT assets, including on-premises internet access and employer-issued laptops, tablets, and smartphones.

Whether at work or school, many of us have agreed to such acceptable use and/or security policies — and soon forgotten or outright disregarded them. In fact, many people are comfortable treating employer-issued devices as their own — even if it means exposing sensitive information, increasing their vulnerability to phishing, or flaunting their organization’s security policy.

https://www.proofpoint.com/us/security-awareness/post/employees-take-risks-when-using-corporate-devices-personal-tasks

Great points , I have stopped looking up this forum on my work issued phone actually.

[emiel1981]

If anybody wants to make sure your money goes to a good place after you passed away, I'll be happy to give you my detailed information to put me in your will... Lol 💰💰

[scott456]

1 hour ago, emiel1981 said:

If anybody wants to make sure your money goes to a good place after you passed away, I'll be happy to give you my detailed information to put me in your will... Lol 💰💰

You sure hope know if you can live longer than the willed person.

[Mysteryman]

Remember: There are three important times in life, when we are born, when we die, and...now.

[Mavica]

Not in Thailand, but other place in my life I've had friends and sex partners who died.  Several died by suicide, some by illness ... most died in the USA of HIV/AIDS in the 89's and 90's.  Actually, I lost count of the number of my sex partners and acquaintances who died of HIV/AIDS; scores.  With each loss there are mostly fond memories, but always there's sorrow.

[kokopelli3]

Many years ago I knew  a boy who worked at MicMy Bar in Sunee Plaza although cannot recall his name. We were friends and he sometimes would sleep at my hotel over the course of a few years. As time went on he seemed to have an undefined illness which his coworkers alluded to but were never specific. He moved back home to be with him mom but then wanted to return to Pattaya which he did.  In his last year he often requested money from me and I thought perhaps it was a scam of sorts. I remember he would write "why don't you help me with some money" but he never got angry or belligerent. Then he died!  I never learned the true cause of his death but still regret that I did not help him in his time of need.