Your life as a senior gay man

[Olddaddy]

For those of you over 60 as a gay man how is your lifestyle now?

Obviously your life goals change as you get older over 75 etc when your lifespan becomes around 5-7 years left ?

Are you living life to the fullest ,travel,sex etc 

I ask this because I realised as we get older there is a countdown to life 

Some of us may prefer to be  retired ,others to work full or part time .

Others to be unfit ,others to go to the gym

But the question is ,are you wasting your next years left ?

I don't know how to define the term wasting your life because my late mother preferred to stay home and read books and watch inspector Frost reruns whilst my father done gardening everyday so everyone is different 

To me I'm planning the countdown to death ,some days I don't have the motivation even for sex though .

But I'm not one now  to waste time working continually for money my goal this year starting from October 1st to December 31  is to suck as many cocks , and be fucked .

Im changing my attitude goal , and starting to think positive instead of negative, in the last few days walking to the shopping areas in my area I noticed African guys looking at me whilst walking past  , unfortunately I didn't stop and talk to them kept walking,my ass was aching afterwards dreaming of the African dick I could of had ,

I told a friend later in the cafe about both days I had African guys looking at me and how my butt was aching thinking about them and my regret and not stopping to talk to them, unfortunately he is a old negative man who told me he didnt think they were looking for sex but talked negative ,I will avoid talking subjects like that with him in future

Secondary I'm not going to allow "drama" into my life ,we all won't be here in 30 years time ,stop letting little things concern you ,get out there and enjoy what you have left !

I plan to grow old disgracefully wbu ?

 

 

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

To me I'm planning the countdown to death ,some days I don't have the motivation even for sex though .

 

you need seriously start thinking about increasing your alcohol intake and consider fine spirits only as cheap beer tend to lead to depression

[Olddaddy]

10 minutes ago, vinapu said:

you need seriously start thinking about increasing your alcohol intake and consider fine spirits only as cheap beer tend to lead to depression

Usually I don't drink ,but having dinner with a friend last night he gave me sweet white wine 🍷🥂, and I loved the sweet white  wine ,drank a few glasses and U slept the best I ever had ,just woke up actually and I'm afresh ready to hit the gym !!

I won't drink again though for awhile even though they say red wine is good for health ?

Any wine drinkers here ? 

[fedssocr]

You would have to know the exact time of your death to do a countdown.

I am not quite "senior" yet. My dad died at 81. My mom is still kicking at 83. Neither of them in great shape in their latter years though. So I expect that as long as I don't get hit by a bus I should make it well into my 80s or 90s. My current plan is to retire at 60. According to my financial planner's calculations my money should well outlast me. So that's all good news.

My current plan is to devote myself to getting into as good of a physical condition as I can in retirement when I will have plenty of free time. I am glad that I've been traveling quite a lot over the past 30 years. Doing it while I was young enough to really enjoy it was a good thing. But it's a big world out there so I expect to keep traveling as long as it's possible. 

Of course who knows what the state of the world is going to be over the next 40 years. So I guess enjoying things while you still can is wise.

There's a YouTube channel I watch from time to time called notime2bsad. The creator is an American guy who documents his daily life with his Thai wife, family and friends. It's a nice slice of life and it's always enjoyable to see Thailand. They live in Isaan but travel around a lot. He retired relatively young. As a military veteran I presume he gets a pretty good pension which I am sure helps. His whole ethos is to not worry about the things you can't control and enjoy your life. I don't agree with him on some things (I believe he's fairly conservative) but his overall philosophy is a good one. Personally I find it impossible to ignore all of the things happening in the world and feel like burying your head in the sand might be good for you on a personal level, but it's not great for the world at large. 

But I agree that a positive attitude is essential. Nobody wants to be a nasty old curmudgeon. 

[tassojunior]

Is it Christmas in Australia? 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, fedssocr said:

According to my financial planner's calculations my money should well outlast me. So that's all good news.

your money should not outlast you - be smart/spend everything 

[zombie]

Try to enjoy life to the full. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Now is the only time that matters.

Op says:

"my goal this year starting from October 1st to December 31  is to suck as many cocks , and be fucked ".

Start now not October...u know what to do next time u come across African guys...

U say usually u don't drink. Many guys do not drink or smoke but are happy when they get fucked multiple times bare-backed.

Good luck to them!

 

Remember the saying:

"Enjoy yout life, or die trying"

 

😄

 

 

 

 

 

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, tassojunior said:

Is it Christmas in Australia? 

Lol, 🤣my Filipino boyfriend Marc put the Xmas tree up yesterday 

He said they do that in the Philippines this early 😳, and wrapped empty boxes as presents underneath ,oh I just let him do it 😊👍

[Olddaddy]

I found as I get older I have to take vitamins ,Berocca etc to overcome fatigue 

I'm now aiming for more meat in my diet ,sounds strange I know comparing that they say eat less but I stopped off beef & chicken for awhile and I had less energy 

How else have you changed as you got older ?

 

 

[Mavica]

4 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

But I'm not one now  to waste time working continually for money my goal this year starting from October 1st to December 31  is to suck as many cocks , and be fucked 

I don't know you personally.  I have an impression, though, after reading many of your postings on Thai forum and on the Philippines, etc.  I'm left with the impression that you are uncomfortable with being gay, how others may view you and your sexual preference and other things in your life ... and that you throw caution to the wind and are unconcerned not only about your own health ... but about that of others who follow behind you and trick with the same young men.  For me, it begs the question:  do you value your life?  Harsh comments?  Yes.  But sincerely offered from someone approaching his mid-70s.

[fedssocr]

43 minutes ago, Slvkguy said:

your money should not outlast you - be smart/spend everything 

if I knew exactly when I was going to die that would be a lot easier to do. I will have plenty to spend. Ultimately there will be some left to be given away and I don't have a problem with that

[Guest]

2 hours ago, fedssocr said:

You would have to know the exact time of your death to do a countdown.

you guys need to lighten up a bit - there’s an old saying in America “the last check you write should bounce” …..it’s a joke, said typically tongue-in-cheek and not serious, yet there is some validity to it.

the article below is a few years old, but still holds

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-the-last-check-you-write-before-you-die-should-bounce-2015-07-14

[Guest]

21 minutes ago, Mavica said:

don't know you personally.  I have an impression, though, after reading many of your postings on Thai forum and on the Philippines, etc.  I'm left with the impression that you are uncomfortable with being gay, how others may view you and your sexual preference and other things in your life ... and that you throw caution to the wind and are unconcerned not only about your own health ... but about that of others who follow behind you and trick with the same young men.  For me, it begs the question:  do you value your life?  Harsh comments?

this is 100% projection - meaning he is putting his own stuff onto someone else.  pay no attention.

 

[Olddaddy]

Well that's one thing also as I get older and as we all get older .....we should pay no attention to what others think, hard to do though 🤣

But if most of us have less than 20 years left give or take,should we stop worrying about what others think?

I recall GB had a quote once about this,can't recall it now though ,(must be the dementia setting in😂) 

Should we as older gay men be able to hold hands with our (mostly ) younger boyfriends in the street , should we be able to travel together in cruises without being concerned about what others think ?

Yes as getting older I'm becoming less concerned what others think and that maybe a positive change 

Even I'm trying not to judge younger people I see , I live in a predominantly gay area so every weekend night we gets hordes of young gay people in my area including many Asians who like to let their hair down screaming laughing out loud etc 

I was walking with a older gay friend last Friday night coming back from a restaurant and he started judging them, "look at these young people being so loud " he said 

"Oh shut the Fuck up ! I retorted back , " I remember you were much wilder in the 1980's getting high in the gay nightclub toilets to the Boy George & Trio music !

That soon shut him up 🤣

[vinapu]

52 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

Yes as getting older I'm becoming less concerned what others think and that maybe a positive change 

I for one , am with age even more concerned what other think if only because  I'm glad to piss them off  knowing what tickles them. 

[Olddaddy]

17 minutes ago, vinapu said:

I for one , am with age even more concerned what other think if only because  I'm glad to piss them off  knowing what tickles them. 

True 🤣

But do it cautiously,there's a lot of weirdos out there .

I probably wouldn't walk through say Soi Buckhao late at night holding hands with a youngish looking 18yo boy though😊

 

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

I found as I get older I have to take vitamins ,Berocca etc to overcome fatigue 

I'm now aiming for more meat in my diet ,sounds strange I know comparing that they say eat less but I stopped off beef & chicken for awhile and I had less energy 

How else have you changed as you got older ?

 

 

Whenever I feel fatigue I start thinking about next Thai trip or indeed , next any trip and immediately get energized.

As for diet I never pay any attention to what I eat other than listening to my body - if I felt something is not serving me well I reduced  or cut it off, fortunately are  very few things eliminated , mostly seafood.

Main change as I got older is that my hair become grey, then silver and now it's white which even shocks my sister. But as always i look at full half of glass - I still have most of my hair, yahooo !

Beautiful feeling  that I don't need to work ( I still do though  out of greed I guess ) and listen to corporate crap is another bright spot in  aging. In fact there are  very few things I feel I must do and even those , like contributing to this forum are rather easy on me.   

[vinapu]

7 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

True 🤣

But do it cautiously,there's a lot of weirdos out there .

I probably wouldn't walk through say Soi Buckhao late at night holding hands with a youngish looking 18yo boy 

 

you right but being old doesn't equate stupid, rather we can draw on our and others life experience.

You probably also right about soi Bukhao although I must say never in Pattaya I got nasty comment or looks when walking with boy , rarely hand in hand though.

My favorite hotel is Classrooms which sits atop of girl bar and their patrons also ignored me at best when going upstairs with guy, at times  even smiling knowingly. Fact that my guys are quite  older than school age helps I guess

[Olddaddy]

15 minutes ago, vinapu said:

, yahooo !

Beautiful feeling  that I don't need to work ( I still do though  out of greed I guess ) and listen to corporate crap is another bright spot in  aging. In fact there are  very few things I feel I must do and even those , like contributing to this forum are rather easy on me. 

Great point about still working as we age , how many older gay men on here still working, especially in jobs they don't like?

I think once past 65 don't waste your life ,go out and enjoy it and spend it .

Are you all working only for the $$$ or is it lonileness?

There guys at my workplace who are in that 70's always talking about retirement loaded up with $$$ but will never retire as work is their family & social life .

They will die wasting their life .

[vinapu]

5 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

Great point about still working as we age , how many older gay men on here still working, especially in jobs they don't like?

I think once past 65 don't waste your life ,go out and enjoy it and spend it .

Are you all working only for the $$$ or is it lonileness?

There guys at my workplace who are in that 70's always talking about retirement loaded up with $$$ but will never retire as work is their family & social life .

They will die wasting their life .

I'm personally completely politically incorrect when comes to retirement issue and my whole working life I was and still am firm believer in mandatory retirement. We all met in our working lives people who were just warming seats blocking younger from advancing. 

Of course as most believers I didn't do what I preach and still toil part time but certainly would accept easily if they did not prolong my contract.

Sure if we are impossible to replace,  employer should be free to re- hire us  but when warranted with new conditions. For those who believe they are impossible to substitute at their jobs I have news -     cemeteries are full of irreplaceable people.

I wouldn't be too harsh on those who are working in 70 ties if they can if really that's their family and social life. That's their fault they  did not care about those earlier and still need to fill their days with toil and commute but yes , I agree working till somebody collapses or gets hit by dementia is debatable joy.

[Ruthrieston]

I got kicked out of my last job for the criminal offence of being gay, though a great lawyer friend fought for me for free and got me a whole year's salary to go quietly. I was 53 when I gave up looking for another job, took my small pension, sold my lovely flat which still had a big mortgage on it, and moved to live in Thailand, and that was eleven years ago. Since the UK pound is so weak my income is a lot worse now, but life is still fine. I live alone, pay for sex when I want it, enjoy some good food, swim every day for exercise, have a few good friends. Not a bad life, if not exactly what I had planned.

[Olddaddy]

11 minutes ago, Ruthrieston said:

I got kicked out of my last job for the criminal offence of being gay, though a great lawyer friend fought for me for free and got me a whole year's salary to go quietly. I was 53 when I gave up looking for another job, took my small pension, sold my lovely flat which still had a big mortgage on it, and moved to live in Thailand, and that was eleven years ago. Since the UK pound is so weak my income is a lot worse now, but life is still fine. I live alone, pay for sex when I want it, enjoy some good food, swim every day for exercise, have a few good friends. Not a bad life, if not exactly what I had planned.

I guess too you will be better off when your 67 and can apply for the UK aged pension.

That's a big leap you made though and took a risk.

As long as your happy in your current lifestyle, I guess you have had some regrets though time to time of moving their too early but sounds like you made the right decision 👍

[PeterRS]

7 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

For those of you over 60 as a gay man how is your lifestyle now?

Obviously your life goals change as you get older over 75 etc when your lifespan becomes around 5-7 years left ?

Are you living life to the fullest ,travel,sex etc 

I ask this because I realised as we get older there is a countdown to life 

Of course there is a countdown to life. But none of us really know when that will be unless we have an untreatable illness. Why do you assume that lifespan will end at 82 - 84. For many it will, but for others it won't. I would hate to live feeliing that I had to pack everything into life before I am 84. One day I will not be alive. I'll leave it to fate to decide when that will be.  The main thing for me is that I have wills and executors and know that whatever I leave will go to those I wish to have it.

Am I living life to the fullest? The answer is definitely yes. I am well over 60. Having retired from my main job, I still work part-time as I have always loved the work I do and cannot imagine life without some involvement in it. Prior to covid, I travelled quite extensively and will definitely continue to do so as barriers to travel break down. I already have four trips planned and tickets booked for one. Again, I cannot imagine life without travel to those places I enjoy and meeting the friends I have made there. The one limiting factor may be travel insurance as I gave up my annual policy 3 years ago. But one of my credit cards offers good travel insurance on a per trip basis which is fine for me.

As for sex, I have a partner and am very happy in Bangkok. It is some years since I was a regular at gay venues. On my trips, though, if my partner can not join me because of his job, I have more freedom to meet guys if I wish. I do and have rarely had a problem meeting up with nice guys. My partner and I discussed this and he is not concerned about it. But I always tell him about my adventures on my return.

We go out to various types of restaurant quite regularly and enjoy meeting up with our friends (who are mostly gay). 

The thought that I might have to countdown to a definite ending date horrifies me!

[scott456]

4 hours ago, fedssocr said:

if I knew exactly when I was going to die that would be a lot easier to do. I will have plenty to spend. Ultimately there will be some left to be given away and I don't have a problem with that

All Americans (and people in most of the western world) have access to social welfare if they are below poverty line, that is the safety net.   Social welfare pay for medical care, senior housing, nursing home stay(if it is determined you can not take care of yourself). There are case managers who can coordinate everything for you if you don't have family.   All you need to do is to wait to die.  I prefer living in the U.S. in my dying old age after I have spent all my money enjoying a good life.  I pay tax while working, and I will be happy to get those tax back through social welfare.   But my best scenario is to die right after I have run out of my fund.  If I have a terminal disease and in suffering, I will certainly pursuit euthanasia.

Almost all Asian countries including Thailand and Philippines have no such social safety net, and the older people there have to have money saved for their own senior lives, and be very careful of evil scammers and relatives. (or produce next generation and train them to respect and take care of older people, this is the core value of Confucius teaching that spread in most Asian countries)

[floridarob]

I was told a long time ago from an older guy....the regrets you will have at the end of your life will be the things you didn't do, not the things you did. Rings very true to this day.

To get something of a visual, how much time you have left:

https://www.businessinsider.com/infographic-of-your-life-in-weeks-2015-2?r=MX&IR=T

Or if you plan to live to be 90:
https://www.bryanbraun.com/your-life/weeks.html