Pattaya Questions, after Due Dilengence

[CurtisD]

4 hours ago, 12is12 said:

CurtisD, how do/did u interact with these 2 LTR guys?

English, Thai, Translator?

Both were from my own country, in my own country, in my home town, highly educated, successful and independent, one my own age and the other younger, and in my own language. 

We communicated directly in Amharic. 🙂

The connection with Bangkok Guy is quite novel to me. I am learning as I go along. 

[Boy69]

10 hours ago, CurtisD said:

Ability to co-locate. I do not want to live in Thailand. Bangkok Guy is clear that he does not care where he lives as long as it is with me. That’s nice to hear, but not practical.

 

10 hours ago, CurtisD said:

also suspect that his family may view me as a family ATM. “Son, you have great success, bring ATM to family, now empty ATM while the going is good, falang so unreliable need to empty now” while Bangkok Guy does not see it this way.

I think Bangkok Guy wants a long term relationship. Misuse and abuse of the ATM is not consistent with that. My guess is that his family puts

You mentioned two important reasons why almost all Falang-Thai relationships failed and even if initially all is fine eventually collapse.

First,most of us can't or don't want to relocate to Thailand it's not easy to leave everything behind you and start a new life in another country the same for the Thai boy it's extremely difficult to adapt himself to a completely different culture, food, language and climate even if at the beginning they seems very enthusiastic to live in a new  country once they come their dreams shutter to pieces they feel lonely, can't adopt themselves to the food , people, climate and culture and desperate going back to their homeland. so yes it's not practical for most potential couple to become in full time relationship.

Second, the Thai culture put commitment to family and society in top priority, Every Thai individual will put family and close friends on first priority even if it will badly harm his own interests, this is why even if falang find a very nice local boy who genuinely loves him and want to be with his family and friends might see his falang boyfriend as potential ATM whom can be used to upgrade their lifestyle and will put hard pressure on to the boy to extract money as much as he can while the relationship are good  and ' don't let the cunning falang to use you and eventually throw  away and leave you with nothing' the boy is put on a lot of pressure and then troubles  start shaking things till the falang is frustrated and telling the boy enough is enough no more money for his family and the relationship is over.

[kokopelli 2]

5 hours ago, Boy69 said:

 

You mentioned two important reasons why almost all Falang-Thai relationships failed and even if initially all is fine eventually collapse.

First,most of us can't or don't want to relocate to Thailand it's not easy to leave everything behind you and start a new life in another country the same for the Thai boy it's extremely difficult to adapt himself to a completely different culture, food, language and climate even if at the beginning they seems very enthusiastic to live in a new  country once they come their dreams shutter to pieces they feel lonely, can't adopt themselves to the food , people, climate and culture and desperate going back to their homeland. so yes it's not practical for most potential couple to become in full time relationship.

 

Most of my farang friends in Pattaya have relocated here successfully so it is both possible and practical. 

[12is12]

Kokopelli, pls elaborate; ur comment is very enlightening. 

Cld u estimate how may farangs have relocated to Pattaya? Common features (age, origin, financial situation, sexual orientation, working/retired, etc)?

Do they live with their young companions?

Is such relocation a constant trend?

[CurtisD]

6 hours ago, Boy69 said:

You mentioned two important reasons why almost all Falang-Thai relationships failed and even if initially all is fine eventually collapse.

I agree.

21 minutes ago, kokopelli 2 said:

Most of my farang friends in Pattaya have relocated here successfully so it is both possible and practical. 

If I were able and willing to relocate to Thailand it would a different ball game and I think the chances of a relationship would be much better. 

[Boy69]

1 hour ago, kokopelli 2 said:

Most of my farang friends in Pattaya have relocated here successfully so it is both possible and practical. 

I am not telling it's impossible but most of us will not do it. Relocate to Thailand is not practical for everyone.

[Londoner]

No, and Thailand isn't Pattaya. Nor Bangkok. I couldn't live where P does- quite happily- in a farming community with a 7 11  a local market, a temple and nothing else. Even the internet is refractory.

And I know , were I to turn this around, P that wouldn't be happy here. His family and his dogs would be far away. As would  his friends. And speakers of Thai. The things I love -Chelsea Football Club, classical music and so on- aren't for him. At his age (nearly forty) how easy would it it be to find a new Thai-speaking friend? My company alone isn't that good!

Oddly enough, there is a beautiful Thai temple ten miles away in Wimbledon (near the tennis centre). He'd like that!

Anyway, we've talked about both possibilities ad nauseam and as long as I'm lucky enough to be to jump on a plane and arrive fifteen hours later in BKK,  and he has the means to leave his farm in the hands of his family to join me, why pursue it?

[floridarob]

5 hours ago, Londoner said:

how easy would it it be to find a new Thai-speaking friend?

Easier than you might think.....they find Thai people (just look for Thai restaurant or the Temple) and before you know it, they have a group of friends.

I know someone that did this in Houston and others in  London and Sydney..... where I live in Mexico, might be another story, lol

[Gaybutton]

10 hours ago, Boy69 said:

Relocate to Thailand is not practical for everyone.

Of course not.  Living in Thailand is not for everyone.  I certainly would not recommend living in Thailand at all unless you know what you're doing and know what you're getting into.  Going to Thailand for holidays is nowhere near enough to make a life-changing decision.  A holiday in Thailand is very different from living in Thailand.

I would recommend living in Thailand for at least 6 months before making a final decision.  And make sure you maintain an "escape route" in case it doesn't work out.

I have no regrets about living in Thailand and I would do the same thing tomorrow.  Despite our complaints and problems I love it here.  My expat farang friends would probably say the same.  After all, there are plenty of complaints and problems no matter where you live.  But we have also seen many who tried to live in Thailand, but ended up leaving when it just didn't work out for them.

In short, don't make a hasty decision that you can't easily get out of.

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, Gaybutton said:

 A holiday in Thailand is very different from living in Thailand.

 

this perhaps applies to every country in the world   or I should even say to every place in the world suitable to holiday there

1 hour ago, Gaybutton said:

 

I have no regrets about living in Thailand and I would do the same thing tomorrow.

rest assured you will be living in Thailand tomorrow and after tomorrow and so on

[Olddaddy]

2 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

leaving

What kind of reasons did they leave Thailand after trying it out?

For me it was boredom, missing friends ,sick of moneyboys , etc 

[Gaybutton]

41 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

What kind of reasons did they leave Thailand after trying it out?

For me it was boredom, missing friends ,sick of moneyboys , etc 

I'd say the reasons you listed plus your "etc".  All kinds of reasons and most left without saying anything to me anyway.  I imagine money problems may have had a part in many decisions.  You name it - everything from failed business ventures to relationship problems to simply not liking the lifestyle here.

If I were asking the question you're trying to ask, my post would be, "If you tried living in Thailand, but eventually left, why did you leave?"  If anyone on this board fits that category, seems to me they would be the ones to ask rather than me.

Ok, so I'll post the question:  If anyone reading this post tried living in Thailand, but eventually left, why did you leave?

[traveller123]

8 hours ago, floridarob said:

Easier than you might think.....they find Thai people (just look for Thai restaurant or the Temple) and before you know it, they have a group of friends.

I know someone that did this in Houston and others in  London and Sydney..... where I live in Mexico, might be another story, lol

When I met my partner we agreed that it was crucial that we knew we could live together and be happy and that we couldn't judge that from my 2/3 week holidays to Thailand.

Hence he came to England to stay with me for four months initially and then for almost two years during which we had a UK Civil Partnership ceremony. (His mother had passed away 4 months before his first visit, he wouldn't have come while she was ill)

To backup floridarob's post at the end of his first visit he wanted to go to pray at the nearest Thai temple (about 30 miles from my home) while there he was talking to a lady cleaning the temple who gave him phone numbers for some Thai ladies who lived in my home town. As he was returning to Thailand in a couple of days he didn't contact anyone until he returned for his second visit. The result was he met a circle of about 15 Thai ladies who he would meet weekly for food, drinks parties etc, his visa allowed him to work and through their introductions he got a couple of part time jobs, which although low paid (minimum wage) made him feel very wealthy)

 He is very friendly and easy going which along with being a good cook of Thai food meant he slotted in with the Thai ladies very quickly.

 

 

 

[Olddaddy]

51 minutes ago, Gaybutton said:

I'd say the reasons you listed plus your "etc".  All kinds of reasons and most left without saying anything to me anyway.  I imagine money problems may have had a part in many decisions.  You name it - everything from failed business ventures to relationship problems to simply not liking the lifestyle here.

If I were asking the question you're trying to ask, my post would be, "If you tried living in Thailand, but eventually left, why did you leave?"  If anyone on this board fits that category, seems to me they would be the ones to ask rather than me.

Ok, so I'll post the question:  If anyone reading this post tried living in Thailand, but eventually left, why did you leave?

 

Yes I forgot about the failed business ventures and the ones with the boy as a partner in the business 

I often wonder where all the Farang business owners of Sunee Plaza of 20 years ago are now?

 

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

 

sick of moneyboys...

I did not know it's at all possible

[Olddaddy]

Just now, vinapu said:

I did not know it's at all possible

Yes unfortunately I did get to that stage when I stayed there for 3 months , the first month was ok but " how much you pay me" ? ..got a bit tedious after a while .

 

[vinapu]

4 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

I often wonder where all the Farang business owners of Sunee Plaza of 20 years ago are now?

 

very few in Heaven I suspect considering Sunee reputation at that time

[Olddaddy]

Although I never thought The Corner Bar was a failure ,it seemed to be a huge success, whatever their reasons for going back to Texas or America they will be missed 

[Olddaddy]

1 minute ago, vinapu said:

very few in Heaven I suspect considering Sunee reputation at that time

I'm travelling on a train right now had to laugh out loud,the other passengers must think I'm crazy but that was funny !🤣🤣🤣

[vinapu]

9 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

I'm travelling on a train right now had to laugh out loud,the other passengers must think I'm crazy but that was funny !🤣🤣🤣

don't you have any shame combing through out debaucherous forum on the train?

[Boy69]

56 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

 

Yes I forgot about the failed business ventures and the ones with the boy as a partner in the business 

I often wonder where all the Farang business owners of Sunee Plaza of 20 years ago are now?

 

Most Farang business owners of Sunee Plaza didn't make any money and run their business as pure hobby .what happened to them ? - died, sickness problems or just left because the huge decline of Sunnee area.

I heard that the current Farangs business owners in Jomtien Complex are no different they are not making any profit and in the best case they are not loosing too much. 

[Olddaddy]

21 minutes ago, Boy69 said:

Most Farang business owners of Sunee Plaza didn't make any money and run their business as pure hobby .what happened to them ? - died, sickness problems or just left because the huge decline of Sunnee area.

I heard that the current Farangs business owners in Jomtien Complex are no different they are not making any profit and in the best case they are not loosing too much. 

Yes apparently going by a forum post I saw some are paying rents of 75000 baht per month !

I wonder what happened to those old guys who used to sit out the front of Memories bar ,Ralph & Jack?

I imagine they would be in heaven 

And what was the Thai host guys name?

 

[kokopelli 2]

7 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

I wonder what happened to those old guys who used to sit out the front of Memories bar ,Ralph & Jack?

I imagine they would be in heaven 

And what was the Thai host guys name?

 

Ralph and Jack are in heaven; they are living a happy life in Pattaya!

[kokopelli 2]

Perhaps one's  view of living in Thailand has to do with perspective?  Most of the friends and people I know are expats and lived (and died) in Thailand; but if you are a more casual visitor you may not know this group and associate with other occasional (frequent flyer)  visitors? 

[floridarob]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

don't you have any shame combing through out debaucherous forum on the train?

You're talking to a guy that had to tell his shocked Egyptian Dr. That he was in Asia sucking 100 cocks deepthroat and eating ass.....😆