Clash of views on LGBTQ+ in Vietnam

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From VN Express

“One’s true gender is unchangeable. If we, parents of LGBTQ+ people, want happiness for both us and them, we need to change our mindset.”

Meet Nguyen Lang Mong, a woman living in HCMC, whose advice this is to people who face a psychological battle in accepting their LGBTQ+ children.

She is the leader of PFLAG Vietnam (Parents, Families and Friends of LGBTQ+), founded in 2011.

Every week, Mong, whose son is gay, receives phone calls and messages for help from three or four people with LGBTQ+ children.

At first their typical reaction is to try and make their children "normal."

But by sharing her story and knowledge, she shows them there is nothing wrong with their offspring and that having an LGBTQ+ child is not a shame.

She says: "Many parents don't understand this community and they have deep-rooted prejudices against LGBTQ+. When they know more about their children, they will give up their prejudices and accept them the way they are more easily. It is the most important thing for our kids."

Mong’s advice for the parents is drawn from her own struggle in accepting her gay son 11 years ago.

At first she did not believe her son, now 29, was not straight and scolded him for imitating his gay friends. The relationship between mother and son deteriorated and tension escalated for a year.

Then one day she found out her son had tried to commit suicide, which came as a wake-up call to her.

"It freaked me out. I thought I couldn’t keep treating my son that way."

She then began to learn about LGBTQ+ people and realized they were not as "bad and indisciplined" as she had thought.

"If he is happy living the way he truly is, I am happy too."

Mong and her son’s is a typical and heartwarming story of the progress made by Vietnamese society in recent times in accepting the LGBTQ+ community.

Earlier this month the Ministry of Health sent an announcement to provincial and municipal health departments and posted it on the government website. It said being LGBTQ+ "is entirely not an illness", and it "cannot be ‘cured’ nor needs to be ‘cured’ and cannot be changed in any way."

Continues at

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