Cambodian boys versus Thai boy scams

[Londoner]

I wonder how many falangs are 100% honest with the guys they meet? How many promise, or imply, that they will pay more than they actually intend to? or find an excuse to pay less? or that they'll return to the bar tomorrow for a second "off"? Or over-egg their "pillow talk"? or give the impression that two or three nights of passion are the beginnings of a long-term relationship?

We know the game the moment our planes land . We hold all the cards except one; the carnal one. As so often in our dealings with Thais, just smile.

 

[a-447]

In all my interactions with bar boys in Thailand over the years I have rarely heard a sob story, or any other story, designed to get money out of me.

Yet strangely enough, if I did hear a genuine story, from I guy I liked,  I'd be more than happy to dig deep and help him out.

Rather then hand over a sum of money I'd prefer to set him up in a business of some kind - nothing too complicated - to ensure a steady stream of earnings (provided he can run the business, of course!) If the business failed I guess I'd just chalk it up to experience and move on.

Years ago there was a guy in Pattaya who I'd seen over many trips; he was my regular guy. He had a wonderful personality and was so much fun to be with. He didn't drink or smoke and was certainly not a party boy. Oh, and he was a great bottom, too!

I asked him what he planned to do after he got too old for the bar scene. He mentioned that he'd like to set up a juice stall. I told him when I came back on my next trip we could look into it. If the figures added up, I'd get him started and support him until he was making money.

On my return trip 2 months later I went straight to the bar to meet him, only to find that he'd changed bars. I went to the bar and was shocked by what I saw. He was loud and out of control. He was obviously very drunk and probably on something (meth??). His friends in his previous bar told me he had changed after he started mixing with the wrong crowd. 

So that was the end of that. I never bothered with him again. 

Talk about a missed opportunity! 

[khaolakguy]

3 hours ago, Shonen said:

I think the Cambodian boys tell the wildest stories. A boy I met was telling me how he needed extra money to help his family back in Cambodia. It all started when his grandparents were forced out of a large city and had to quit their jobs to grow rice in the rural area. They had good jobs, the grandma was a designer of clothes and the father a teacher. But they had to leave the jobs and all their possessions behind in the city! 
Then here’s the craziest thing he said of all. The entire city all had to leave their jobs and all their possessions behind and grow food for everyone else. They worked like slaves for 12 hours each day with only a small cup of rice. If they refused to work for almost nothing they would be killed. 
 

Young teenagers with rifles would boss everyone around. Many were tortured and executed for being traitors. But this boy’s grandfather managed to escape and make his way to a Red Cross humanitarian camp across the border. He remarried and had many children. They now live in Cambodia but had to start all over.

I told him not to make up such crazy stories that could never happen, at least in our lifetimes. He insisted it was all true. Can you believe the bs some of these money boys spout off!?

That is exactly what happened in Phnom Penh when the Khmer Rouge took over in 1975. 

[reader]

7 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

If Thailand closes the borders, how are they going to go home?  Wouldn't they be stuck here like everybody else?  Then they would really need money . . .

No. In the Spring of 2020, most Asean countries closed their borders to foreigners but permitted their own citizens to return, subjecting them to quarantine and monitoring. Later in the pandemic, when air travel was greatly curtailed, it become impossible for some citizens to leave or enter countries but some still managed to make their way across borders. Some--particularly the Burmese--did choose to remain in Thailand. You can read scattered reports about that on this board.

[macaroni21]

5 hours ago, Shonen said:

I think the Cambodian boys tell the wildest stories....

I told him not to make up such crazy stories that could never happen, at least in our lifetimes. He insisted it was all true. Can you believe the bs some of these money boys spout off!?

Not a crazy story at all. This really happened to millions of Cambodians in 1975 - 1979 after the Khmer Rouge took over. I don't see any embellishment at all in the story he told you.

The horrors in the histories of Southeast Asian countries are many. Indonesia in the 1960s and again in the 1990s, the 25 years of Vietnam wars, the japanese occupation and brutalities during the 2nd World War (do visit the River Khwai bridge and cemetery), and the decades of atrocities suffered by the Rohingya and other minorities in Burma, just to name a few examples.

[thaiophilus]

1 hour ago, macaroni21 said:

Not a crazy story at all. This really happened to millions of Cambodians in 1975 - 1979 after the Khmer Rouge took over. I don't see any embellishment at all in the story he told you.

Indeed. Two phrases for anyone who thinks it's fiction: Killing Fields and Tuol Sleng.

When I first visited back in the late 1990s a couple of statistics stuck in my brain. At that time the median age of the population was around 16 years, and around 1 in 250 of the population were amputees.

[10tazione]

13 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

If Thailand closes the borders, how are they going to go home?  Wouldn't they be stuck here like everybody else?  Then they would really need money . . .

I dont know if it is true, but what I heard from some boys is that an illegal border crossing btw. Thailand and Cambodia during pandemic cost 300 €, shared between 2 officers on duty, one on each side of the border. Same story with Laos for 8000 Baht.

A lot of money if you come back to Thailand and dont know how many customers there will be around.

[vinapu]

40 minutes ago, 10tazione said:

I don't know if it is true, but what I heard from some boys is that an illegal border crossing btw. Thailand and Cambodia during pandemic cost 300 €,

 

one of my boys paid just 200 USD and after 2 weeks of only few clients returned same way for the same cost 

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, macaroni21 said:

Not a crazy story at all. This really happened to millions of Cambodians in 1975 - 1979 after the Khmer Rouge took over.

2 hours ago, thaiophilus said:

Indeed. Two phrases for anyone who thinks it's fiction: Killing Fields and Tuol Sleng.

When I first visited back in the late 1990s a couple of statistics stuck in my brain. At that time the median age of the population was around 16 years, and around 1 in 250 of the population were amputees.

and still after Vietnamese invaded and chased Red Khmers away in 1979 and all those atrocities become well known most of Western  countries and of course our beloved Thailand , to their eternal shame still supported claim of so called Democratic Kampuchea (Khmer Rouge governemnt)  to be only legitimate government  including UN representation.

But at least UN peace mission in early 90ties finally brought calm and after few years,  stability to such tormented country and now only skulls in memorial here and there serve at memento of what happened

[macaroni21]

I mentioned Indonesia.  There's a film called The Act of Killing (full movie with English subtitles available on Youtube) in which the killer Anwar speaks to camera and re-enacts what he did. The WIkipedia page says that "The film focuses on the perpetrators of the Indonesian mass killings of 1965–1966 in the present day. The genocide led to the killing of almost a million people, ostensibly for belonging to the local communist community. When Suharto overthrew Sukarno, the President of Indonesia, following the failed coup of the 30 September Movement in 1965, the gangsters Anwar Congo and Adi Zulkadry in Medan (North Sumatra) were promoted from selling black market movie theatre tickets to leading the most powerful death squad in North Sumatra. They also extorted money from the ethnic Chinese as the price for keeping their lives. Anwar is said to have personally killed 1000 people."

 

 

[floridarob]

10 hours ago, a-447 said:

Talk about a missed opportunity! 

and you dodged a bullet 😏

[vinapu]

not scam but skillful and gentle trap attempt is what happened to me in last few days.

One of guys who has my Line sent me some sticker which he does every so often. Never asked me for anything and neither did this time so I responded with 'thank you, how are you  and how is your son doing" as he has young son.

Then I got a picture or two of that son playing so answered ' cute baby"

What came next was another baby's  picture with crudely embedded note on it ' tomorrow is my birthday ".

But unfortunately message was too subtle for me to understand but I have no doubt it was just a gentle suggestion that gift would be in order. I'm just too unrefined to catch that and we will see what happens next. Probably nothing until next birthday in a month or three.

But is shows that even innocent exchange may lead to something more engaging so as gaybutton said somewhere above ' use your head"

[a-447]

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

"use your head"

Just make sure you use the big one!

[alvnv]

13 hours ago, vinapu said:

Then I got a picture or two of that son playing so answered ' cute baby"

I thought you’re not supposed to call babies “cute” in Thailand

13 hours ago, vinapu said:

What came next was another baby's  picture with crudely embedded note on it ' tomorrow is my birthday ".

Would it be considered a mauvais ton to send back just a nice “Happy Birthday” sticker?

[vinapu]

Just now, alvnv said:

I thought you’re not supposed to call babies “cute” in Thailand

 

you made me realizing you are right, oops, but I did. So much about lack of cultural sensivity 

[alvnv]

1 minute ago, vinapu said:

you made me realizing you are right, oops, but I did. So much about lack of cultural sensivity 

Let’s just hope that no ghost saw that exchange (or this forum) 🤭

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, alvnv said:

Let’s just hope that no ghost saw that exchange (or this forum) 🤭

Ghost on LINE ? Pleeez ! lol

[CurtisD]

I have been reading this thread with interest and thought I would share my experience with Bangkok Guy.

I will preface this by admitting that as I do not speak Thai and am not on the spot, I may well completely misunderstand the situation and wake up one day to find it is indeed all a con.

However, from my experience of Bangkok Guy, I don’t think it is.

Bangkok Guy has three different sets of financial needs:

·        His own living expenses – rent, food, transport etc

·        Obligations from before the time that we met. These are wider family obligations such as the time-payment-tractor.

·        The obligation to look after his mother and sister, if they need help.

The allowance I give him covers the first category (based on a comprehensive spreadsheet).

I decided to cover his living expenses after I came to understand how unreliable and volatile his income from the market stalls is.

With his living expenses covered, as long as he is working, he should be set, yes?

Well, no. Not all the time and especially not if there are emergencies.

Partly it goes back to the unreliability of the market stall income. Durian was good business, then prices fell. Then in the wet season the markets are not open every day, so he can’t work every day. If he can’t work for a prolonged period he gets stressed, even though his rent and other expenses are covered by the allowance, as experience tells him that at some point he will need to help out his mother and sister.

He has been stressed about money for several months but, while telling me he has ‘pobpems’, he has been reluctant to ask for my help, even after I ask directly what the problem is and ‘How can I help?’

Finally, after several months, very awkwardly and embarrassed, he let me in on the problem. His sister had been in a traffic accident. It was her fault. Fortunately she is recovering ok. Unfortunately she is liable for the hospital bills and the damages. As he always does where money is concerned, he sent documentation. Pics of his sister in hospital and her ruined motor scooter. As the man in the family, he is expected to sort it out, and without my help he can’t.

He is very stressed about this. It appears to me that most of his stress comes from having to ask me for help. He is clear that this is his problem, not my problem. I do not have to become involved.

On the one hand, he could be a fantastic psychologist, taking the burden on himself knowing that I will respect that and offer to help. Top of the Class manipulation!

What I think is more likely the case is that he really does not want to drag me into his family’s problems as he thinks it will alienate me, damage our relationship and he will loose me.  

He looks sick as he names the sum he needs. He still looks stressed after I agree to send the money. He thanks me, but he is stressed. He needs to see that I am truly ok with this, that it hasn’t damaged the relationship.

I switch topics to our next trip, to Tokyo and Koh Samui. Ask him if he wants to take the Shinkansen to Kyoto. Show him the black cashmere jumper I bought for him so he will be warm in the Tokyo winter. He still does not look happy.  “You need relax, work too much” Ah! A possible insight. He always thinks I work too much and need to relax more in order to live longer. Now he has put an additional burden on me.

“In Tokyo and Koh Samui, I follow you” “You follow me? Sleep all day and all night?” He is looking more cheerful.

“Not all day, I get bored, but yes we sleep. I look after you, you look after me”.

Now he is smiling. I follow him. He is contributing something. We are still ok.

 

[floridarob]

16 minutes ago, CurtisD said:

I may well completely misunderstand the situation and wake up one day to find it is indeed all a con.

Count me in the sarcastic pool.....without knowing more details that is 😉

[alvnv]

9 hours ago, vinapu said:

Ghost on LINE ? Pleeez ! lol

You’re probably right… it would be pretty hard for me to check - I don’t think I can manage texting while bent over and looking through my legs 👻

[t0oL1]

Killed the cash cow.  
Friend of my deceased friend had many emergencies the past weeks. 3 am I get a call- need 3000 baht- scratched motorbike. Wants to not file police report. Next day or so girlfriend sick go to doctor. Next day girlfriend in hospital. The next day could I reimburse his mother for 3000 baht hospital trip. Pressing the limits of probability the next day he had to go to the hospital- 2000 baht. This time I asked for a picture of the receipt. He send one the next day - no patient name, date, or hospital name. 
The following day he somehow lost 1500 baht. Then he needed another 3000 baht for the scratch on the motorbike again. Around my final day I gave him 5000 baht as a parting gift. Wasn’t 6 hours later”could I send 1500 baht for something to eat?”

I was giving him 2-3000 daily just to help him bank some money. Now he is on restricted Messenger. 
Hated to do that but I was in a bad mood after missing my flight. 

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, t0oL1 said:

Killed the cash cow.  
Friend of my deceased friend had many emergencies the past weeks. 3 am I get a call- need 3000 baht- scratched motorbike. Wants to not file police report. Next day or so girlfriend sick go to doctor. Next day girlfriend in hospital. The next day could I reimburse his mother for 3000 baht hospital trip. Pressing the limits of probability the next day he had to go to the hospital- 2000 baht. This time I asked for a picture of the receipt. He send one the next day - no patient name, date, or hospital name. 
The following day he somehow lost 1500 baht. Then he needed another 3000 baht for the scratch on the motorbike again. Around my final day I gave him 5000 baht as a parting gift. Wasn’t 6 hours later”could I send 1500 baht for something to eat?”

I was giving him 2-3000 daily just to help him bank some money. Now he is on restricted Messenger. 
Hated to do that but I was in a bad mood after missing my flight. 

Talking about milking the cow 😊is that the right saying? Forget the saying now ,

[zoomomancs]

14 hours ago, t0oL1 said:

Killed the cash cow.  
Friend of my deceased friend had many emergencies the past weeks. 3 am I get a call- need 3000 baht- scratched motorbike. Wants to not file police report. Next day or so girlfriend sick go to doctor. Next day girlfriend in hospital. The next day could I reimburse his mother for 3000 baht hospital trip. Pressing the limits of probability the next day he had to go to the hospital- 2000 baht. This time I asked for a picture of the receipt. He send one the next day - no patient name, date, or hospital name. 
The following day he somehow lost 1500 baht. Then he needed another 3000 baht for the scratch on the motorbike again. Around my final day I gave him 5000 baht as a parting gift. Wasn’t 6 hours later”could I send 1500 baht for something to eat?”

I was giving him 2-3000 daily just to help him bank some money. Now he is on restricted Messenger. 
Hated to do that but I was in a bad mood after missing my flight. 

Increasingly these days I say I don't send money, I tell them I pay for services when I am there. I also regularly ask people I've loaned money to when they will repay it. Last trip I got 3,000 bt back. As I am soft I gave 6 men in a go go bar 500 bt each.   

[vinapu]

22 hours ago, t0oL1 said:

Now he is on restricted Messenger. 

you did right thing. Instead of restrictions,  cut him off completely before he will drain you financially and emotionally. 

Don't let him to think you are stupid 

[vinapu]

7 hours ago, zoomomancs said:

 I tell them I pay for services when I am there. 

and rightly so , I use that line too. Made ever exception only two times , both covid related.