Cambodian boys versus Thai boy scams

[t0oL1]

Wondering with the presence of hot Cambodian boys all over Pattaya if anyone thinks Cambodian boys are less scamming of farang patrons. Fell for Thai boy 3 years ago after a 4 year absence but I feel he was well worth it. 
 

Of course they all need to eat year around…

[vinapu]

That's bizarre. In just two sentences you are suggesting that Thai boys are scammers hoping Cambodians are less so and all you say to substantiate that scamming is that you feel for Thai boy and it was worth it.

neither ones are angels  ( some are !) but in reality how many times you were victim of scamming by  boys of any nationality in Thailand ? 

I hardly call refusing to kiss or bottom even if promised to ' do everything " scam but even so , how often it happens ?

we are coming to Thaliand because it's Land of Smiles not Land of Scams. Otherwise why we'd bother ?

[t0oL1]

And especially when business has been hit by CoVid for the last 2 1/2 years. My friend passed over two years ago (TB) and I still take care of his “husband” who cared for him. Trying to encourage him to find a job or enlist in the army at 29 years old. 
Tried cutting his allowance and he just ends up in the street. 

[Gaybutton]

40 minutes ago, t0oL1 said:

Tried cutting his allowance and he just ends up in the street. 

Just out of curiosity, how do you know that?  Didn't he eat and manage to survive all his life until you came into the picture?  If he really ends up in the street, which I doubt, why is that your problem?

And what's his problem about finding a job?  Assuming he is in Pattaya, plenty of jobs are available now.  Of course, as long as you are supporting him, what does he need a job for?

Your heart may be in the right place, but don't be surprised if the reality turns out that you are being had, which is exactly what I think.

My free, unsolicited advice would be not to just suddenly cut him off, but give him enough to support himself for a month or two and let him know this is it.  This is the last I'm giving.  There will be no more.  Your choices are find a job, join the military, or become a monk, but once this money runs out, you're on your own.

[Boy69]

1 hour ago, Gaybutton said:

Just out of curiosity, how do you know that?  Didn't he eat and manage to survive all his life until you came into the picture?  If he really ends up in the street, which I doubt, why is that your problem?

And what's his problem about finding a job?  Assuming he is in Pattaya, plenty of jobs are available now.  Of course, as long as you are supporting him, what does he need a job for?

Your heart may be in the right place, but don't be surprised if the reality turns out that you are being had, which is exactly what I think.

My free, unsolicited advice would be not to just suddenly cut him off, but give him enough to support himself for a month or two and let him know this is it.  This is the last I'm giving.  There will be no more.  Your choices are find a job, join the military, or become a monk, but once this money runs out, you're on your own.

Yes I agree it's more convenient for this boy to do nothing and receiving monthly allowance,  As I mentioned before on other posts some years ago after I did long term with a boy from Patong I sent him 10K BHT for starting  new life at his mom home because he claimed he didn't like the bars scene but actually what he planned to do is just living with his mom , do nothing and receiving 10k every month,  I sent him one time and cut the connection with him.

[Olddaddy]

27 minutes ago, Boy69 said:

Yes I agree it's more convenient for this boy to do nothing and receiving monthly allowance,  As I mentioned before on other posts some years ago after I did long term with a boy from Patong I sent him 10K BHT for starting  new life at his mom home because he claimed he didn't like the bars scene but actually what he planned to do is just living with his mom , do nothing and receiving 10k every month,  I sent him one time and cut the connection with him.

Cut the connection with him?

I wouldn't of because I would have loved to find out if he succeeded,but I know what you were thinking that he would ask for more .

I guess it's possible to remain in contact though or not , I guess they would keep asking.

 

[Gaybutton]

5 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

I guess they would keep asking.

You guessed right.  Of course he will keep asking.  Why shouldn't he?  He has nothing to lose by trying.  While you might be curious as to what happens to him, do you think you would get a truthful answer from him and can believe what he tells you?  You might get an interesting new set of sob stories, but that's all.  When you're dealing with a money boy who got used to being financially supported by a well meaning farang, try as I might, looking at it from his point of view, I can't come up with one good reason why he would stop trying.

Again, my free, unsolicited advice is to do as I recommended in my post above - and then cut all contact with him.  If you don't, who do you think would prevail in the end - the farang or the boy?  It may hard to cut all contact, but continuing contact is very likely to end up being much harder.

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, Gaybutton said:

You guessed right.  Of course he will keep asking.  Why shouldn't he?  He has nothing to lose by trying.  While you might be curious as to what happens to him, do you think you would get a truthful answer from him and can believe what he tells you?  You might get an interesting new set of sob stories, but that's all.  When you're dealing with a money boy who got used to being financially supported by a well meaning farang, try as I might, looking at it from his point of view, I can't come up with one good reason why he would stop trying.

Again, my free, unsolicited advice is to do as I recommended in my post above - and then cut all contact with him.  If you don't, who do you think would prevail in the end - the farang or the boy?  It may hard to cut all contact, but continuing contact is very likely to end up being much harder.

The question is why then bother to help in the first place?

[Gaybutton]

50 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

The question is why then bother to help in the first place?

I see nothing wrong with helping if that's what you want to do.  The trick is to set the limits at the outset and be prepared for him to try everything he can think of to keep the money rolling in.  There are two ways to do it:

1.  Give him a substantial amount once - just once.  Make it clear that is all you will do and he is not to ask for more for any reason.  I would again make it clear if he violates that, then he won't get it and the communication ties will be cut.  When he runs through that money, now he's on his own.  Let the onus be on him, not you.  It may be difficult to stick to that, nevertheless it must be done.  I think that's the easiest way.

2. At the outset let him know you will help him for whatever period of time you choose.  Once a month for one month, two months, six months, a year - whatever you decide.  Tell him how much you'll give him and not one baht more.  Again, let him know when that time has ended, it will stay ended and, again, after that he's on his own.  If he tries to get you to give more and/or extend the time period, the moment he does that any further money will stop.

Unless you are willing to take financial responsibility for his life, I don't know any other way to handle it - or at least no other way I would handle it.  It is one thing to be generous and willing to help somebody.  It is quite another to let yourself become a schmuck.  You have to be firm.  If you can't do that then you're right - don't help him in the first place.  Besides, you're not really doing him any favors by removing the incentive to support himself.

Don't forget, your name is Olddaddy (or whatever name he knows you by).  Your name is not ATM . . .

[t0oL1]

And here I have already broken a cardinal rule of Thailand. Don’t tell them when you are leaving. Yesterday  his girlfriend is needing to go to the doctor and he is visiting the hospital today.

[vinapu]

6 minutes ago, Gaybutton said:

I see nothing wrong with helping if that's what you want to do.  

1.  Give him a substantial amount once - just once.  Make it clear that is all you will do and he is not to ask for more for any reason. 

I support that point if view on both counts.

as for giving substantial  amount once- I practice this in my 'civil' life as well and it worked so far with all nieces , nephews etc, they got it once, usually for 18th birthday and after that just smile and handshake. They smile back so it must be working. I learned that lesson from my godfather.

as for boys who got something and asked for more , just 2 cases. In both answer my was " I did what I could "   . Their answer was this emoticon🙏 so I assume they understood the message

 

[vinapu]

8 minutes ago, t0oL1 said:

And here I have already broken a cardinal rule of Thailand. Don’t tell them when you are leaving. Yesterday  his girlfriend is needing to go to the doctor and he is visiting the hospital today.

he forgot to tell you that today is the last day of month and he needs money for rent but it's still before midnight.

You are correct about that leaving rule. Even time tested guys seem to be less enthusiastic  knowing that is their last off.

[Londoner]

"Tomorrow in my birthday."

[gayinpattaya]

I thought after only 7 years experience of Thailand (Living here full time for 5 years) I was still naive when it comes to boys and their games. While I don't know @Gaybuttonpersonally, he seems to be the voice of reason around here. 

Generally speaking I don't believe these boys are trying to scam you. They are trying to work your feelings and lust to earn money, too pull themselves out of poverty. 

Are the Khmer boys different? Yes - They still do it with a smile. 

[vinapu]

4 minutes ago, gayinpattaya said:

Generally speaking I don't believe these boys are trying to scam you. They are trying to work your feelings and lust to earn money, too pull themselves out of poverty. 

 

well said

[Boy69]

14 minutes ago, gayinpattaya said:

Generally speaking I don't believe these boys are trying to scam you. They are trying to work your feelings and lust to earn money, too pull themselves out of poverty. 

Yes I agree it's not a scam they are money boys and their job is trying to earn money from their clients and there is nothing wrong with it what we choose to give them or not is our decision,  we don't have to  forget that they are giving us pleasure and company while we're in Thailand and if they wouldn't exist I doubt most of us repeat coming again and again to the land of smiles. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[gayinpattaya]

2 minutes ago, Boy69 said:

Yes I agree it's not a scam they are money boys and their job is trying to earn money from their clients and there is nothing wrong with it what we choose to give them or not is our decision,  we don't have to  forget that they are giving us pleasure and company while we're in Thailand and if they wouldn't exist I doubt most of us repeat coming again and again to the land of smiles. 

That's how I see it. 

A scam is a trap, a trick. Something unexpected. 

I don't believe for a second anyone on this forum flew to Thailand and was surprised to learn there was such a thing as a "moneyboy". We all know what we are choosing to engage in. 

[pong2]

Quote

But about all these ´scams´ of MBs are so well publicised, age-old and well-known (to those who know, of course) and also 99% similar to those of bargirls-on which dozens of books-some quite hilarious-have been written.

I see discussion here as gone to another topic, but is there-just for the fun of it-someone who knows a really good trick/scam/sobstory-one we have never heard of and that will ignite at least a big smile? Perhaps even worth the money for the hilariousness it invokes.

IMHO-but my score of Thai still outnumbers those of KHmer a fair lot-Khmer tend to be less into that and are also a little bit more open on why they are into this ´job´. But perhaps thats an a-select sample or perhaps that is becse they are far from home anyway without much chance it will hit the rumourmill and the holy family.

On the other forum was a story (mins tidbits) about an MB/massageboy who got such an awful lot of money for his de facto rather limited services-that he also offered to clean the house of that expat to make up for it!

 

[zoomomancs]

A quote from a bar lad in Ao Nang, said to his mate, after a young farang woman from Glasgow left in tears to go home at the end of the last night of her holiday: "If we have  a good harvest of farang in the high season, we eat in the low season". We might consider ourselves as similar to rice or carrots, but often more profitable. 

[colmx]

I find that Khmer guys tend to spin more elaborate stories than the Thais.

Thai: can you help me pay my rent

Khmer: my mother is in hospital, my boss never paid me for the last 3 months and my passport was stolen by a farang, can you help me pay my rent 

Neither are scams, just more elaborate stories to pull at our heartstrings in the hope of a helping hand 

[Olddaddy]

58 minutes ago, colmx said:

I find that Khmer guys tend to spin more elaborate stories than the Thais.

Thai: can you help me pay my rent

Khmer: my mother is in hospital, my boss never paid me for the last 3 months and my passport was stolen by a farang, can you help me pay my rent 

Neither are scams, just more elaborate stories to pull at our heartstrings in the hope of a helping hand 

And the Filipinos?😂🇵🇭🇵🇭

 

[Gaybutton]

4 hours ago, pong2 said:

is there-just for the fun of it-someone who knows a really good trick/scam/sobstory-one we have never heard of and that will ignite at least a big smile?

I don't know if this story is one you haven't heard before.  I've posted it before and it is one of my personal favorites.  I knew a money boy who used to carry 5 telephones with him.  When I asked him why, his answer was he has 5 different farang, so he carries a different phone for each of them.  He has long since disappeared from Pattaya.  I always wondered what he would do if he managed to reel in several more farang.

In my opinion it is not a question of whether a boy is trying to scam you.  The bar boys are money boys.  Every one of them would love to have a farang benefactor.  They've hit the jackpot if they meet a farang who will not only support them, but their families too.  For most of the boys, their families are their first priority.  They'll starve before failing to send money to the family each month.  That is virtually ingrained into their culture.

If you're going to support any of these boys because you want to "pull him out of poverty", that's your choice.  First, I don't know what makes you think you are his only farang.  Sometimes you are and sometimes the boy has several.  If he is one who has several, do you think he's going to tell you about it?

If you want to help the boy of your dreams - the one you met on your 2 or 3 week holiday, the safest thing to do is give him a very substantial amount of money when you are ready to leave to go back home - to your world of reality - don't give him your contact information (unless you want to deal with constant pleas for more money, and believe me that is exactly what is most likely to happen), tell him goodbye and maybe you'll see him next trip.

Again, unless you are willing to take over full financial responsibility for his life, you're not going to pull him out of poverty, you're not going to significantly change his life, you're not going to become his rags to riches Horatio Alger story, you're not going to become his hero, but you will lose being the one in control and you will end up spending a hell of a lot of money, probably much more than you anticipated, and eventually you will have no choice but to end it with him.  That is what nearly always happens.  It is not the exception.

And again, do you truly believe you are doing him any favors by removing his incentive to find a good job?  He can't be a bar boy forever.  What becomes of him when the money stops rolling in?  Has he found a good career or is it right back to the rice farm?

Then comes your next holiday.  What are you going to do on that holiday when you meet another "boy of your dreams", go through the same thing all over again or by then will you have learned your lesson - the hard way?

Bottom line:  Use your head.

[reader]

I think what we badly need is another pandemic that causes Thailand to close its borers again. Then we wouldn't have to concern ourselves with those scamming money boys.

Instead of looking forward to planning our trips, we could discuss the good stuff. You know, like how all those sneaky Cambodians have all gone home, the scheming Thais have returned to Issan, the shifty Viets have disappeared from view and the Burmese have escaped to that hell on earth known as Myanmar.

Yea, wouldn't that be great.

[Gaybutton]

1 hour ago, reader said:

how all those sneaky Cambodians have all gone home, the scheming Thais have returned to Issan, the shifty Viets have disappeared from view and the Burmese have escaped to that hell on earth known as Myanmar.

If Thailand closes the borders, how are they going to go home?  Wouldn't they be stuck here like everybody else?  Then they would really need money . . .

[Shonen]

I think the Cambodian boys tell the wildest stories. A boy I met was telling me how he needed extra money to help his family back in Cambodia. It all started when his grandparents were forced out of a large city and had to quit their jobs to grow rice in the rural area. They had good jobs, the grandma was a designer of clothes and the father a teacher. But they had to leave the jobs and all their possessions behind in the city! 
Then here’s the craziest thing he said of all. The entire city all had to leave their jobs and all their possessions behind and grow food for everyone else. They worked like slaves for 12 hours each day with only a small cup of rice. If they refused to work for almost nothing they would be killed. 
 

Young teenagers with rifles would boss everyone around. Many were tortured and executed for being traitors. But this boy’s grandfather managed to escape and make his way to a Red Cross humanitarian camp across the border. He remarried and had many children. They now live in Cambodia but had to start all over.

I told him not to make up such crazy stories that could never happen, at least in our lifetimes. He insisted it was all true. Can you believe the bs some of these money boys spout off!?