A boyfriend?

[Boy69]

14 hours ago, Londoner said:

I never looked for a LTR; indeed, I said  after nine years and thirty or so trips to Thailand that I loved being a butterfly. The one falang I knew who was in  involved such a relationship  with a Thai guy was often deeply unhappy, for many reasons.

And so when it happened, I was unprepared.  And it didn't "happen" in one night, one week, or even one year.  The relationship grew over a series of  visits to Thailand. I believe that it was after three years that I first used the word "love". It was in a conversation with my oldest friend. The use of the  word surprised us both.  

And so , in my case, the cliché of an old falang falling in lust after a couple of erotic encounters, just doesn't hold water.

You should consider yourself as a very lucky man because it is very rare to find true love with much younger guy then you from a completely different culture then yours.

[GWMinUS]

8 hours ago, Travellerdave said:

But I will have to master Grindr which I found difficult during my recent Pattaya visit. As I understand it Grindr is a major way to contact boys for gay tourists like myself.

I have been going to the Philippines for over 15 years. I am not seeking a Long Term BF because I have a Gay Husband back home in the USA.

Anyway, I never use Grinder and I have met a number of wonderful Filipino guys. I frequent Facebook and sometimes Romeo. I meet my Friends every trip and enjoy going out with them or visiting other beautiful places in the PH. And they all LOVE old Dads!!

Just give it a try!!! 🥰

[reader]

This forum regularly sees members unabashedly post about fucking boys, sucking boys, kissing boys and rimming boys.

Odd how when someone suggests loving boys the naysayers come out of the woodwork.

Just saying.

[Mavica]

On 8/22/2022 at 5:57 PM, Boy69 said:

,,,  it is very rare to find true love ...

"true love"?  In a gay or straight relationship, "true" can be elusive.  Both in the relationship are looking for something, oftentimes it's different.  We oftentimes, too, compromise to get what we want.  

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, reader said:

This forum regularly sees members unabashedly post about fucking boys, sucking boys, kissing boys and rimming boys.

Odd how when someone suggests loving boys the naysayers come out of the woodwork.

 

probably because it's much easier , thus more common,  to have good sex than good luck in love, specially distance one.

So good experience in the first in prevailing over bad in the second.

 

[alvnv]

2 hours ago, reader said:

This forum regularly sees members unabashedly post about fucking boys, sucking boys, kissing boys and rimming boys.

Odd how when someone suggests loving boys the naysayers come out of the woodwork.

Just saying.

Sadhu

[Boy69]

49 minutes ago, vinapu said:

probably because it's much easier , thus more common,  to have good sex than good luck in love, specially distance one.

So good experience in the first in prevailing over bad in the second.

 

Let's be honest most of the clients are seeking for good sex and most of the money boys are looking for money neither side is looking for true love it might happen occasionally when a MB and his  client fall in love but it's very rare.

[reader]

Guess I'll just count myself as very lucky. The last six years of my life have been the happiest of the preceding 70. Up until that point I'd always considered myself a committed butterfly.

I don't concern myself with "true" love. I'm perfectly happy just to have someone simply to love. I don't need a litmus test with which to measure it.

We insulate ourselves by the use of language. We become "clients", young men become "professionals." That makes it easier to put the required emotional distance between us. For many, that's a healthy way to look at it. The parties part ways without emotional baggage.

I tip my hat to all those who find contentment in their later years without any emotional attachments. At one time I counted myself in that camp. And then a simple smile turned my life on a dime. You may think of me as foolhardy and delusional. So be it. But you can't feel what I feel; know what I know.

We all came to Thailand because we sought sexual intimacy we couldn't find at home. Please be tolerant of those of us who discovered emotional intimacy and affection in that same pursuit.

[Mavica]

3 hours ago, reader said:

Guess I'll just count myself as very lucky. The last six years of my life have been the happiest of the preceding 70. Up until that point I'd always considered myself a committed butterfly.

I don't concern myself with "true" love. I'm perfectly happy just to have someone simply to love. I don't need a litmus test with which to measure it.

We insulate ourselves by the use of language. We become "clients", young men become "professionals." That makes it easier to put the required emotional distance between us. For many, that's a healthy way to look at it. The parties part ways without emotional baggage.

I tip my hat to all those who find contentment in their later years without any emotional attachments. At one time I counted myself in that camp. And then a simple smile turned my life on a dime. You may think of me as foolhardy and delusional. So be it. But you can't feel what I feel; know what I know.

We all came to Thailand because we sought sexual intimacy we couldn't find at home. Please be tolerant of those of us who discovered emotional intimacy and affection in that same pursuit.

Not all of us came to Thailand "because we sought sexual intimacy we couldn't find at home."  Depending on age, yes ... many.  My first visit to BKK was in 1992 - 30 years ago.  At the time I was not partnered but had a very active sex life in Chicago where I lived.  I also traveled to many other countries.  Sex wasn't the only reason for these travels, but it was an important 'add on".  The only country I've made a first trip to for sex ... was Brazil; Rio de Janeiro.

I've never lived in Thailand, but I have lived on other countries.  The longest length of time I've lived "abroad" was the 6 years I spent living/working in Mexico; Mexico City.

In Mexico I was in my 40s and had sex to a level as if I was starving (and then having been fulfilled!).  Sometimes, early-on, I had sex with 4 or 5 guys in a single day. If it walked, I'd fuck it.   It was an extraordinary time in my life.  As I satisfied the urge I developed repeat encounters with probably a half-dozen guys.  They'd just show up on my doorstep, unannounced.  I loved each one of them, and there were periods of time when one or two would live / stay with me for varying lengths of time (a weekend, a week, three months, a year, etc.).  Mostly young men from the country, making periodic visits to the big city.  Not just in Mexico City, but in Acapulco.  A couple of them were elite military.  Awesome lovers, each. 

Direct payment of money for sex/companionship wasn't always expected.  When it was, it was (at the time) relatively minimal (Peso equivalent of US$20/50 per stay, usually).  Though, one was a dental student who needed US$200 for dental school tuition (one of the most fantastic fucks I've ever had).  They'd stay with me, I'd give them a place to stay, feed them, do their laundry, buy them some new clothing, a return bus ticket home ... and in two instances money to get them across the border into the USA to join family members (one of whom perished working in the World Trade Center 9/11).

"True love"?  Yes.  At my age, I've learned to accept what comes my way - with gratitude.  Share my affections and accept those of others ... without demands from either side.  I have no problem sharing what I have, when I have it with partners (temporary or not) when they need help.

 

[floridarob]

Many confuse love and sex...they are not one in the same....

[Londoner]

In my experience, sex is fun while love can be very painful indeed. I honestly do not recommend it. If it happens, as it did to me, welcome it as a privilege but don't expect it to be as much fun as  an hour with a MB. And it will be more costly- and I'm not just talking about money.

[reader]

4 hours ago, floridarob said:

Many confuse love and sex...they are not one in the same....

Indeed they are not.

Love is placing the other person's well being on a par with your own.  It's being emotionally available as a confidant and friend. It's accepting the other person's foibles as he accepts yours. It's taking joy in each other's company. It's mutual affection and trust. It's the realization that you are unquestionably happy and fulfilled when you are together.

I've found that I need that experience in my life.

And I agree that it has nothing whatsoever to do with sex.

[Gaybutton]

9 minutes ago, reader said:

Love is placing the other person's well being on a par with your own.

"Love is putting yourself last so that he can come first"

-  Gene Barry, '

 

[reader]

Please don't take offense if I fail to heed your advice and embrace La Cage Aux Folles as a prescription for how to lead my life. 🤣

Good luck to you, my friend, but I don't wish to die that way. I don't want to be that lonely old man withering away in farangland, thanking the almighty that I was wise enough to hold my emotions tightly in check.

[scott456]

1 hour ago, Gaybutton said:

"Love is putting yourself last so that he can come first"

-  Gene Barry, '

 

Very few human beings can do that.

[reader]

9 minutes ago, scott456 said:

Very few human beings can do that.

It seems that that was the point Gaybutton was trying to make. In that case I surely owe him an apology.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

[Gaybutton]

12 hours ago, Mavica said:

had a very active sex life

Me too.  Trouble was every month I had to send a bouquet of flowers to my hands . . .

[Gaybutton]

15 minutes ago, reader said:

In that case I surely owe him an apology.

Not necessary, but I appreciate that and accept.

[VancBCMan]

@olddaddy, you start conversations on very interesting topics that generate a lot of discussion!

On 8/13/2022 at 7:25 PM, Olddaddy said:

I guess you guys who are loners are sort of "accepted" that,that you will be alone maybe even trick yourself that you don't need anyone

I am one of those "loners" who has accepted my way of life and I am definitely not tricking myself. I prefer that lifestyle. I do have friends and family that I talk to and meet up with on a regular basis. I also travel often and have "fun" during those travels, especially when in Thailand.

"Like I said if I wanted love ,I probably look at the Philippines again where it seems to me going by my experience Filipino young guys are really into Daddies."

I have met a few Filipino guys during my travels and talked to them at length. Yes, many are into daddies. The ones I talked to want to be in such relationships so that they are looked after financially and may even be able to move to the country where the Daddy lives. It's also somewhat of a prestige thing for some, since their friends are already in such relationships.

"Getting back onto Filipino boys as boyfriends they seem to be more caring,a lot are nurses in the West in nursing homes etc caring for elderly and great at housework and hardworking" 

A great number of nurses and care aides - girls and boys - in Canada are Filipino. Couple of my family members were in nursing homes and most of the staff there were Filipino. They took good care of the residents and worked hard. Unfortunately, these (care aides) are not very well paid jobs, but it does give them "Canadian experience", and after sometime they can become citizens. Many continue to upgrade their skills while working to become nurses (from aides) and RN after becoming nurses.