A boyfriend?

[Olddaddy]

3 hours ago, scott456 said:

Perhaps I am a cold person, but I've never fell in love with any money boy. I pay for sexual pleasure, that's all. I don't seek any companionship from money boys, mostly because we wouldn't have anything interesting (to me) to talk about.   If I am with a money boy in public, I won't tell people he is my boyfriend.  And I would forbid him to tell people we are boyfriends, simply because we are not.

Had you said something like that on a forum 20 years you would of been ostracized,but times change and even the working boys are happy to be known as "professional money boys" .👍I found on my latest trip to Pattaya it was far far guys  different from 20 years ago,these ones are likely to be doing "prostitution" work part time and work another full time  job somewhere, 

These ones  nowadays are more business like and  great at negotiation,they are NOT  interested in boyfriend type service , 

At times I wondered on Grindr if I was haggling with Donald Trump over business as some of them were so good at negotiation skills and of course now with all the social apps you are dealing with boys with better english 

One guy even sent me a itemised "qoute" as he called it,with time stated on service ,one asked me where he could park his car.

As I said had you said that like 20 years ago you would of had a ton of "do gooders" on your back,saying " pity the boys" ,oh think of these poor your young  men " all the whilst these hypocrites using them, but I agree with you nowadays Scott and you know I'm glad times have changed.

I'm so happy to see these boys call themselves moneyboys it was such a new term for me when I arrived back in Pattaya after 5 years away 

I actually seen one of the old working boys on Grindr his name was "Max" he even spoke to me of times changing among the younger money boys, who are more business savvy .and sadly even told me of farangs who are so lonely they just want to bring him to their condo to talk ,or go shopping ,or for a coffee very sad indeed but the newer boys are not into that ,they prefer a business approach but to sit with some old farang on in his Condo listening to his problems because he is lonely 

I actually treated these boys as business and they gave me the respect back in negotiations, rather than pretend to be some kind of do gooders pretending to care about them by hiring them for sex ,I made my intentions know on service 

Yep it's all money & business nowadays 

 

 

[Lonnie]

16 hours ago, vinapu said:

what did you drink then

Too much obviously!  

[Gaybutton]

17 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

The correct version is:  "If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

As long as I'm making corrections and updating, yes it was Richard Burk who said that to me many years ago.  Over the years I have repeated it many times on many topics.

He was the owner of the Amor restaurant in Boyztown.  After 16 years the restaurant eventually failed.  The owner of the New Orleans restaurant, also well known in Boyztown, took over the location and converted it to a deli which he named Street Life.  I never understood his rationale for that name, nevertheless at the time it was the only one of its kind in Pattaya.  Richard did not own it.  He was there as the manager.

Street Life eventually failed too and Richard ended up going from job to job as restaurant manager in various locations.  His final one was at Coco's restaurant on Soi Chaiyapruek - and that one eventually failed too.

Richard had a very difficult time of it after Street Life failed, but one thing I always admired him for - he was a fighter.  Despite all of his troubles he never gave up.

I think those of us who have been in Pattaya long enough, whether they liked him or not, well remember Richard.  He was quite a character.

Richard died in March, 2017.

 

[scott456]

I am more interested in the caring and dying processes of old farangs in Thailand.  Did Richard get good care before he died? Or was it a sudden death?

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, scott456 said:

I am more interested in the caring and dying processes of old farangs in Thailand.  Did Richard get good care before he died? Or was it a sudden death?

If your interested in the "dying process " you can search "Kev in Thailand" on YouTube .

He died March 2020 after a year long battle with oesophagus cancer in Pattaya,failed to have medical insurance however paid his way for treatment eventually going back to the UK for treatment but sadly nothing more could be done 

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, Gaybutton said:

As long as I'm making corrections and updating, yes it was Richard Burk who said that to me many years ago.  Over the years I have repeated it many times on many topics.

He was the owner of the Amor restaurant in Boyztown.  After 16 years the restaurant eventually failed.  The owner of the New Orleans restaurant, also well known in Boyztown, took over the location and converted it to a deli which he named Street Life.  I never understood his rationale for that name, nevertheless at the time it was the only one of its kind in Pattaya.  Richard did not own it.  He was there as the manager.

Street Life eventually failed too and Richard ended up going from job to job as restaurant manager in various locations.  His final one was at Coco's restaurant on Soi Chaiyapruek - and that one eventually failed too.

Richard had a very difficult time of it after Street Life failed, but one thing I always admired him for - he was a fighter.  Despite all of his troubles he never gave up.

I think those of us who have been in Pattaya long enough, whether they liked him or not, well remember Richard.  He was quite a character.

Richard died in March, 2017.

 

Lovely guy ,and fantastic restaurant the New Orleans.

Unfortunately he received a lot of criticism from farangs during his time at Street Life ,but Richard was a people person and that was his style .

He certainly was a fighter and never gave up.

I believe he even got into teaching in his later life .

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

 

 

[Gaybutton]

On 8/17/2022 at 7:49 AM, scott456 said:

I am more interested in the caring and dying processes of old farangs in Thailand.  Did Richard get good care before he died? Or was it a sudden death?

Richard's death wasn't sudden.  His health had been going downhill for months.  I last saw him at a Christmas dinner a few months before and he looked in bad shape even then.  He did have some of his former employees helping him and a few friends looking in on him.  As far as I know he never went to a hospital.  He had no insurance and very little money.  He died in his condo.  Sadly, Richard died essentially broke.

If you are interested, Richard's Facebook page still exists:  https://www.facebook.com/richard.burk.351

Thailand does have very good assisted living facilities.  Including room, meals, and care they average around 45,000 baht per month.  Not bad considering at current exchange rates that amounts to a little less that US $1300 per month - and these are very nice places, not dumps.

A couple things I do know about dying in Thailand - If you die in hospital, no autopsy is required.  If you die anywhere else, an autopsy is required.  No matter where you die in Thailand, it is my understanding these autopsies are done only in Bangkok.

Also, hospitals do offer living wills.  You can designate a surrogate to make medical decisions for you if you become incompetent to do so.  You can also specify DNR options and organ donor options.

I once asked the American Embassy what their involvement is if an American dies.  I was told the first thing they do is find your passport.  They notify your nearest living relative.  They check to see if you have a will.  They have to sign off on releasing your body for funeral, shipping back to home country, or whatever your will and family specify.  Any other involvement is on an "if necessary" case by case basis.

As for what happens when a farang dies in Thailand, you might be interested in this article:

https://thepattayanews.com/2022/08/16/special-feature-one-a-day-part-one-what-happens-when-a-foreigner-dies-in-thailand/

[reader]

Some pertinent points to keep in mind:

• If you're a US citizen, your will has to be probated. A will is a public document. The rules and procedures of probate court are onerous.
• You can, however, avoid probate if you have a Revocable Trust. This is a private document in which you remain the trustee until your death.
• The individual you name as successor trustee oversees the execution of the terms of the trust, principally how your tangible and non-tangible assets are distributed.
• You should very carefully consider who to appoint as successor trustee. That person is key to determining that your wishes are fulfilled.
• If your assets are going to family members, choosing a relative may be appropriate if the individual has the ability to manage the distribution of your assets. However, if you're leaving anything to a non-relative, you're likely better off making a trust attorney your successor trustee in order to avoid family feuds.

[scott456]

22 minutes ago, reader said:

Some pertinent points to keep in mind:

• If you're a US citizen, your will has to be probated. A will is a public document. The rules and procedures of probate court are onerous.
• You can, however, avoid probate if you have a Revocable Trust. This is a private document in which you remain the trustee until your death.
• The individual you name as successor trustee oversees the execution of the terms of the trust, principally how your tangible and non-tangible assets are distributed.
• You should very carefully consider who to appoint as successor trustee. That person is key to determining that your wishes are fulfilled.
• If your assets are going to family members, choosing a relative may be appropriate if the individual has the ability to manage the distribution of your assets. However, if you're leaving anything to a non-relative, you're likely better off making a trust attorney your successor trustee in order to avoid family feuds.

Good advice, I have done the appropriate steps for estate planning.  In the mean time, I think the best way to handle your estate is to spend all your asset, enjoy your life and leave NOTHING behind.

[Olddaddy]

Richard died essentially broke.

That's very sad, I'm not sure what happened to him financially later in life ,he did have a successful restaurant for many years .

 

[vinapu]

52 minutes ago, scott456 said:

  In the mean time, I think the best way to handle your estate is to spend all your asset, enjoy your life and leave NOTHING behind.

Great advice for trip somewhere but in real life that would work only if we can pretty accurately estimate time of our demise. Otherwise is probably better to have some  money in order to pay somebody to change our diapers at least once a week

[vinapu]

55 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

 

I'm not sure what happened to him financially later in life ,he did have a successful restaurant for many years .

 

it looks that  restaurant become less successful and he did not cash in at best time

[scott456]

33 minutes ago, vinapu said:

Great advice for trip somewhere but in real life that would work only if we can pretty accurately estimate time of our demise. Otherwise is probably better to have some  money in order to pay somebody to change our diapers at least once a week

That's where social welfare comes in to help fulfilling your minimum necessity, at least in the western world. You have paid tax for that during your younger years.  Nothing like this in Asian countries though.

[Yin]

To my experience and knowledge, it's really hard not just for older but younger too. I've been keeping my eyes on longterm and didn't come across the right situation.  FYI: I'm also seeking a top boyfriend and into 30-35 who is manly and ready to get into the relationship. 

[Olddaddy]

33 minutes ago, Yin said:

To my experience and knowledge, it's really hard not just for older but younger too. I've been keeping my eyes on longterm and didn't come across the right situation.  FYI: I'm also seeking a top boyfriend and into 30-35 who is manly and ready to get into the relationship. 

I guess it also depends on where you live , you have a better chance at the age group eg over 30yo.

Potential boyfriend can't he everything you want him to be ,that would be impossible,it would be fantastic if we all could find our soulmate 

I wonder if anyone ever had found a real soulmate ?

[Vessey]

 

Invariably the boy and the farang will be looking for different things from any relationship. Farangs can easily fall in lust/love with their boy, but it is probably unrealistic to expect that a boy would lust after his farang unless there is only a small age difference?

The boy is more likely looking for financial security, maybe status, maybe travel opportunities etc; sex with his farang is just an accepted part of the package?

In the end it surely doesn't matter that each look for different things from the relationship; just as long as each gets what they want out of the relationship?

Or maybe I am just an old cynic? 🤣

 

[vinapu]

27 minutes ago, Vessey said:

 

Or maybe I am just an old cynic? 🤣

 

no, just old, cynic , no

[pong2]

Back to the original question: this applies in fact for many a Thai too. It is mostly only the family that will forever support them. It is written in some scientific-sociological thesis and also hinted at in many manuals for ´howtolive in TH´ and even, as I remember in that old bible for us, TMOT: The Men Of TH. Which dear khun gaybutton also underlines.

It seems ANY relation for a Thai can never be equal, but there is always a higher and lower one. But these nasty farang do not know that and do all kind of things that not belong to their higher status.

In my own-limited- experience, the best such relations on a more equal base were with -  Thai muslim guys, thus without the Buddhist way of thinking-though what is Thai and what is Buddhist is extremely hard to tell. But that often gets marred as they all were very much in the hiding toward their family. And that sample was not big, so it may have been pure chance.

It is not tipical ASEAN at all-I favour the Indonesians (not specific the Balinese) for that the most.

[Mavica]

7 hours ago, Vessey said:

 

Invariably the boy and the farang will be looking for different things from any relationship. Farangs can easily fall in lust/love with their boy, but it is probably unrealistic to expect that a boy would lust after his farang unless there is only a small age difference?

The boy is more likely looking for financial security, maybe status, maybe travel opportunities etc; sex with his farang is just an accepted part of the package?

In the end it surely doesn't matter that each look for different things from the relationship; just as long as each gets what they want out of the relationship?

Or maybe I am just an old cynic? 🤣

 

A substantial age difference, coupled with cultural/language differences can be a prescription for disagreement and disappointment all-around.  I'll suggest that relatively few such relationships survive any length of time.  But, yes, there are those that do work - daddy/son - and financial and emotional security will almost always be the reasons - for the younger of the two and the financial support the farang will provide the younger man's family.  "Love", well, it's subjectively defined.  Many "straight" relationships are no different.  Money and other security is the glue that binds.  And, yes, each of us ... both sides of the relationship - take what we can for our own reasons.  Hopefully, we do this without abuse of any sort.

[Boy69]

5 hours ago, Mavica said:

substantial age difference, coupled with cultural/language differences can be a prescription for disagreement and disappointment all-around.  I'll suggest that relatively few such relationships survive any length of time. 

This kind of relationship which are not based on true love mostly can't survive too long because there is always the risk that the Thai boy will find wealthier farang ,or the older farang will find more attractive, younger or prettier Thai boy.

[Olddaddy]

1 minute ago, Boy69 said:

This kind of relationship which are not based on true love mostly can't survive too long because there is always the risk that the Thai boy will find wealthier farang ,or the older farang will find more attractive, younger or prettier Thai boy.

I may be wrong but I personally and I said personally find Filipino boys more loyal and seem to be into Daddy's ,that's my anyway

[Travellerdave]

Yes I’ve heard that Filipino boys are better in a long term relationship. A few years ago when I had a longer term boy I was friendly with another gay who had brought his boy back to Pattaya for an extended period. I plus b/f went with them for the day to Koh Larn - it was good to talk to the Filipino who was a fluent English speaker which I think is a big plus.

i have it in mind to make a longer visit next time with a plan to be a daddy again after completing the first couple of weeks. A quieter life would be advisable for my health rather than making the rounds of the bars offing boys, but I am mindful of the point Boy69 makes.

[Olddaddy]

45 minutes ago, Travellerdave said:

Yes I’ve heard that Filipino boys are better in a long term relationship. A few years ago when I had a longer term boy I was friendly with another gay who had brought his boy back to Pattaya for an extended period. I plus b/f went with them for the day to Koh Larn - it was good to talk to the Filipino who was a fluent English speaker which I think is a big plus.

i have it in mind to make a longer visit next time with a plan to be a daddy again after completing the first couple of weeks. A quieter life would be advisable for my health rather than making the rounds of the bars offing boys, but I am mindful of the point Boy69 makes.

Have you tried the Philippines?

[Londoner]

I never looked for a LTR; indeed, I said  after nine years and thirty or so trips to Thailand that I loved being a butterfly. The one falang I knew who was in  involved such a relationship  with a Thai guy was often deeply unhappy, for many reasons.

And so when it happened, I was unprepared.  And it didn't "happen" in one night, one week, or even one year.  The relationship grew over a series of  visits to Thailand. I believe that it was after three years that I first used the word "love". It was in a conversation with my oldest friend. The use of the  word surprised us both.  

And so , in my case, the cliché of an old falang falling in lust after a couple of erotic encounters, just doesn't hold water.

[Travellerdave]

6 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

6 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Have you tried the Philippines?

No I’m afraid I haven’t - over the years I’ve been too much of a creature of habit, returning again and again to Pattaya. It’s not for Iack,of information - there is plenty of that on gay and general sites and I have followed your excellent thread within the Philippines section of this site.

i will have to take the plunge and go. But I will have to master Grindr which I found difficult during my recent Pattaya visit. As I understand it Grindr is a major way to contact boys for gay tourists like myself.