A boyfriend?

[Olddaddy]

Do any of you guys have boyfriends as in real love?

Be it open or closed relationship where by open I mean you both can have sex with other guys .

After being in Thailand millions of times I have come to the conclusion it's more impossible to find a real boyfriend there compared to somewhere like the Philippines.

I got lonely in my last few weeks in Thailand (jomtien complex) I started to feel like I wanted a real companion not a money boy .

I guess you guys who are loners are sort of "accepted" that,that you will be alone and maybe even trick yourself that you don't need anyone 

I don't know if I could live alone without a companion again,I did it for years before though.

But let's talk about a real BF , not a paid BF .

I always remember listening to a Pattaya expat last June who spoke to me about this .

He told me some of the expats were lonely and had money boys live with them for free and called them boyfriends,I guess because they needed a companion to be with them.

But that's not real love  

I wonder how many of you can move to say somewhere like Pattaya and retire there before you crave real companion (boyfriend) and then anyone will do as you don't wish to be alone sitting on a balcony in jomtien by yourself after finishing with the moneyboys .

I think Bangkok maybe different if your looking for a boyfriend,I don't know but I know Pattaya is not the place 

Like I said if I wanted love ,I probably look at the Philippines again where it seems to me going by my experience Filipino young guys are really into Daddies.

Now maybe I'm wrong ,maybe Filipino guys  maybe just more patient than Thai guys ,but many Filipino guys seem to really luv older farangs 

Many of you must be lonely though,as you get older and your preference is younger guys .

 

 

 

[vinapu]

16 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

 

....,but many Filipino guys seem to really luv older farangs 

 

.... at least until they learn their actual account balance I guess

[kokopelli 2]

All relationships between farang and boyfriends/boy/ladyboys/lady involve money.

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

.... at least until they learn their actual account balance I guess

That's true , I think Filipino boys are more patient and skilled than Thai guys who seem to be very inpatient, "how much you pay me" attitude .

You see living alone can be lonely in places like Pattaya too 

Some of you live alone now in farang land and are older and not much family left and some of you say "oh I'm happy to be alone",but are you really ,don't you crave some one to really love, 

Getting back onto Filipino boys as boyfriends they seem to be more caring,a lot are nurses in the West in nursing homes etc caring for elderly and great at housework and hardworking 

Thais seem to not go for those sort of jobs and in my opinion not as hardworking,I could be wrong 😊

But if I was old lonely ( which I am😂) I would concentrate more on Philippines.

But anyway who wants a boyfriend 🙂 not all of us I guess 

 

 

[Mavica]

1 hour ago, Olddaddy said:

Do any of you guys have boyfriends as in real love?

Be it open or closed relationship where by open I mean you both can have sex with other guys .

After being in Thailand millions of times I have come to the conclusion it's more impossible to find a real boyfriend there compared to somewhere like the Philippines.

I got lonely in my last few weeks in Thailand (jomtien complex) I started to feel like I wanted a real companion not a money boy .

I guess you guys who are loners are sort of "accepted" that,that you will be alone and maybe even trick yourself that you don't need anyone 

I don't know if I could live alone without a companion again,I did it for years before though.

But let's talk about a real BF , not a paid BF .

I always remember listening to a Pattaya expat last June who spoke to me about this .

He told me some of the expats were lonely and had money boys live with them for free and called them boyfriends,I guess because they needed a companion to be with them.

But that's not real love  

I wonder how many of you can move to say somewhere like Pattaya and retire there before you crave real companion (boyfriend) and then anyone will do as you don't wish to be alone sitting on a balcony in jomtien by yourself after finishing with the moneyboys .

I think Bangkok maybe different if your looking for a boyfriend,I don't know but I know Pattaya is not the place 

Like I said if I wanted love ,I probably look at the Philippines again where it seems to me going by my experience Filipino young guys are really into Daddies.

Now maybe I'm wrong ,maybe Filipino guys  maybe just more patient than Thai guys ,but many Filipino guys seem to really luv older farangs 

Many of you must be lonely though,as you get older and your preference is younger guys .

 

 

 

I try not to be so judgmental of the lives of others.

[Olddaddy]

19 minutes ago, Mavica said:

I try not to be so judgmental of the lives of others.

It's always best not to have a opinion about anything,it gets you out of being involved in anything and most importantly...keeps you out of  trouble 👍

[scott456]

57 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

Getting back onto Filipino boys as boyfriends they seem to be more caring,a lot are nurses in the West in nursing homes etc caring for elderly and great at housework and hardworking.

Philippines export caregivers to foreign countries too.  Their advantage is the ability to speak passible English.  I personally know a few Filipino nurses in the U.S.  I don't know if they are better than nurses of other nationalities.  To be honest, most people don't want to be nurses or caregivers.  In the U.S., most caregivers working in nursing home or private home are lowly educated, these jobs are just one step higher than janitors.

[Olddaddy]

42 minutes ago, scott456 said:

Philippines export caregivers to foreign countries too.  I personally know a few Filipino nurses in the U.S.  I don't know if they are better than nurses of other nationalities.  To be honest, most people don't want to be nurses or caregivers.  In the U.S., most caregivers working in nursing home or private home are lowly educated, these jobs are just one step higher than janitors.

Your right Scott, very hard job to do working in aged care, and a lot of foreign workers take these jobs , but I'm so glad because Filipino nurses were wonderful to my late mother,they have so much patience 💙

 

 

[Patanawet]

1 hour ago, kokopelli 2 said:

All relationships between farang and boyfriends/boy/ladyboys/lady involve money.

The 'all' is a generalisation and completely untrue.

[PeterRS]

17 minutes ago, Patanawet said:

The 'all' is a generalisation and completely untrue.

With respect I think your comment is not wholly accurate. Even in straight relationships, the man will often be the main breadwinner and provide for his wife/family. Many gay relationships with younger Thais may not include cash (I can think of several long term relationships where the Thais actually make more in good jobs than their farang partners) but will include payment for things like dinners and overseas holidays. My partner will very occasionally get a small amount of cash for a special purchase. Otherwise, we take care of our own expenses other than those I have listed above.

I wonder if it is because most of those who read this site look for or are in relationships with commercial boys that there is this belief that every relationship will involve the transfer of regular amounts of cash. There are many which do not. I realise Thai social attitudes to gay men result in it being difficult to find Thais profession, but it is a lot more difficult I believe for visiting tourists than for those who live here.

[Olddaddy]

31 minutes ago, PeterRS said:

With respect I think your comment is not wholly accurate. Even in straight relationships, the man will often be the main breadwinner and provide for his wife/family. Many gay relationships with younger Thais may not include cash (I can think of several long term relationships where the Thais actually make more in good jobs than their farang partners) but will include payment for things like dinners and overseas holidays. My partner will very occasionally get a small amount of cash for a special purchase. Otherwise, we take care of our own expenses other than those I have listed above.

I wonder if it is because most of those who read this site look for or are in relationships with commercial boys that there is this belief that every relationship will involve the transfer of regular amounts of cash. There are many which do not. I realise Thai social attitudes to gay men result in it being difficult to find Thais profession, but it is a lot more difficult I believe for visiting tourists than for those who live here.

I am of the understanding that many ,not all,but many farangs in Pattaya those living & visiting  that are in long distance relationship are with commercial boys ,what is the probality of that ?

I was at a few beer bars last month in Pattaya watching a few boys taking live to their long distance farang on these video chat sites WhatsApp & Line etc ,I'm guessing these are involving some financial 

[a-447]

I would not go to Thailand hoping to find a real boyfriend - one who I didn't have to pay for.

The type of guy I would look for  - hot, handsome, young and hung - would not find me attractive. I'd be wasting my time looking.

I always travel to Thailand (and S.E. Asia in general) by myself, as my gay friends are not interested in Asians. (No, I don't get it either!) But I'm never lonely because I have a couple of guys I spend all my time with. They offer great companionship and are just lovely guys. Of course, they are money boys but they never ask for anything. I'm the one who suggests we should go shopping because I like spending money on them. (And on myself, too!) Sometimes they even reject my offer to buy them something. WTF?? 
 

- It's ok. Already have.
- But it's old. Don't you want a new one?
- It still working. No need.
 

If they were gay and I were their age, either would be perfect for me. I'd love to have one (or both) as a real (no money involved) boyfriend. But there's no guarantee that they'd want me.

I've had real live-in boyfriends in the past but now I'm single. I'm alone but not lonely as I have lots of friends, both gay and straight, who I care about very much. My sex life here is catered for by 2 hot money boys I see on a regular basis - but not at the same time. 

Loneliness is a by-product of getting old, especially for men. It's important to build up a social group and to see them often. Joining various clubs and taking up new hobbies is a great way to find friends. There's nothing better then practising hobbies with like-minded people. They don't have to be gay, although many of my friends are. But all my friends, gay and straight, mix in together.

But I imagine forming new social relationships with farang would be a little more difficult if you were to move to Thailand to live.

[caeron]

 

My partner doesn't care that I hire, as long as it isn't in the house. She knew I was gay when I married her. But, she's my best friend, and I'd be lost without her. All relationships are compromise, that was part of ours.  We're coming up on 30 years, so it works for us. 

I spent most of my 20s trying to find the perfect guy and realized that spiritual fit and sexual fit was too high a bar for me. That's when I finally realized I had my life mate, I just wasn't interested in fucking her which was totally fine by her.

It adds an extra expense to the budget, but the benefit is that my boyfriend of the hour is always hot and fresh.

 

[Olddaddy]

4 minutes ago, caeron said:

 

My partner doesn't care that I hire, as long as it isn't in the house. She knew I was gay when I married her. But, she's my best friend, and I'd be lost without her. All relationships are compromise, that was part of ours.  We're coming up on 30 years, so it works for us. 

I spent most of my 20s trying to find the perfect guy and realized that spiritual fit and sexual fit was too high a bar for me. That's when I finally realized I had my life mate, I just wasn't interested in fucking her which was totally fine by her.

It adds an extra expense to the budget, but the benefit is that my boyfriend of the hour is always hot and fresh.

 

Respect to you 💙💚💚

[scott456]

2 hours ago, kokopelli 2 said:

All relationships between farang and boyfriends/boy/ladyboys/lady involve money.

 

1 hour ago, Patanawet said:

The 'all' is a generalisation and completely untrue.

We are not doing a scientific research here.  But I bet the vast majority of the farang and boy relationships involve money, or free rent, free food, free trips. 

And that is totally fine as long as it works for both parties. 

[Olddaddy]

16 minutes ago, scott456 said:

 

We are not doing a scientific research here.  But I bet the vast majority of the farang and boy relationships involve money, or free rent, free food, free trips. 

And that is totally fine as long as it works for both parties. 

I guess in all or your right especially when it's a Daddy Son type relationship.

 

[Londoner]

I stopped obsessing about the nature and the worth of my relationship with P long ago, realising that, however  unsatisfactory, disappointing and even painful it can be, it was the best that either of us could expect ever to have. And so we should be grateful.

I no longer worry about its origins in a Pattaya bar, the thousands of miles that separate us, nor the fact that he maintains his decent standard of living only  because of my ability to support him. What this relationship is now, it has always been and always will be, up to  separation by death.  And since he believes in the transmigration of souls, for him, even beyond.

 

[TotallyOz]

I have a real love BF. It has been almost 19 years. He is great. He was not a money boy when I met him and he never asks for money.

@floridarob(we won't talk about houses, cars, motorbikes, etc). I do think a flat fee would have been cheaper.

But, do I believe he loves me. Yes. Does his mother agree with me?  Yes. Does his son and daughters agree?  Yes. Does his wife agree?  Yes

It is unanimous. And, I also adore him. He is now pushing 40. He has always said I was top priority in his life and he has put me so.

[Vessey]

3 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

I have a real love BF. It has been almost 19 years. He is great. He was not a money boy when I met him and he never asks for money.

@floridarob(we won't talk about houses, cars, motorbikes, etc). I do think a flat fee would have been cheaper.

But, do I believe he loves me. Yes. Does his mother agree with me?  Yes. Does his son and daughters agree?  Yes. Does his wife agree?  Yes

It is unanimous. And, I also adore him. He is now pushing 40. He has always said I was top priority in his life and he has put me so.

I had to read that twice and am now desperate to learn the larger back-story to this, even though there are recognisable shades of this permutating my own 'romances' in Thailand.

I do have a boyfriend now, although I share him with a Swiss guy. When he is with me I am No. 1, when he is with Mr Switzerland he is No 1. Kinda works in an odd way. Fortunately we both holiday at different times with the lad, but I do kinda wonder who is his No 1 when neither of us are in town? 🤣

At the end of the say we will each have a different story (or stories!) to tell, but as long as we are happy with whatever relationship(s) we have, surely that is all that matters?

[Boy69]

Having an old farang boyfriend isn't really a dream come true for a typical young Thai ( money boy or not ) ,Thai society unfortunately in general is conservative and racist and isn't accepting gays neither mixed relationships , cultural differenceare not helping either. although I  heard  about older farangs and Thai boys true love relationships it's very rare and if you find young Thai boyfriend that really love you and not your wallet you can consider yourself as a very fortunate person.  Instead of you I wouldn't fall into black bile maybe round the corner a wonderful charming Thai boy is waiting for you, who knows...

[reader]

[khaolakguy]

2 hours ago, Boy69 said:

if you find young Thai boyfriend that really love you and not your wallet you can consider yourself as a very fortunate person. 

Your wallet is an indivisible part of who you are. Discussions about would someone love if you didn't have a wallet are as pointless as conversations about if you would be loved if didn't have a good heart(both physical and emotional) or a good character or attitude or personality or cock or education or outlook.............

[colmx]

I am with my guy 20 years this November

At time he was just gone 18 and I was 10 years older than him (and had a lot more hair!)

We are in an open relationship and have had a lot of 3somes, 4somes and room relays (him and his boy, then me and my boy, then perhaps the 2 of us and one of the boys or another pick up)

These days we have settled down a lot more, but I would never dream of trading him in!

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, reader said:

Great rules

It's why I always advise  to start thinking about next Thai trip instead of wailing how good Old Good Days were. ( they were but why  care about something which is gone for good )

That takes care at least about points 1 and 3 of above Kant's rules

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, reader said:

Someone to love?

I met a old guy on my last trip to Pattaya,76yo and lived with his 4 dogs ,he didn't have any family or wanted a lover at his age , so do you really need someone to love?