Thinking about the past

[Olddaddy]

I'm always one who believes in "moving on" and accepting change 

I'm 62 so I like to embrace change 

I always say that to my same  age  work colleagues especially when they are  critical of newer much younger work colleagues who may seem things differently, I like to be the one to accept change 

I never want to be one that "well when I was a boy.....

But strangely when I was in Pattaya last month, I sat in Boyztown, and  reminiscenced about what was ,what used to be 

I sat there at a table with a few beers  at the and the bar next to it  and I actually spoke to the mamasan? manager ( I don't think they are called mamasans nowadays?) there who sadly,sadly had absolutely no idea of the Dolly sisters or never ( I won't mention names) of the previous farang owners , he even called over other boys who also had no idea .

Look I know times move on  ,they aren't expected to know ,it's in the past ,it was me of course wanting it to be like old times thinking of the funny farang owners that used to run it ,the infamous Dolly sisters etc 

It's got me thinking that times are soon forgotten, younger people move in, they have no idea what the times nor the people that it used to have .

I sat there drinking by myself with the Thai manager of the bar sitting next to me as I'm mumbling " street talk used to be over there " him nodding at me looking at me weirdly" they used to sell wonderful pastrami sandwiches😳😳

Another 2 boys  sitting nearby both live on their  tiktok said in great English " how long ago was that ?

" Oh about 20 years ago " I said 

Then they both laughed , 20 year ago I five said one all laughing.

They must of thought I was a reminiscent old man👴👴

Of course times have moved on,even at the bar we were sitting at had memories but the guys had no idea who the previous owners nor the good times that went on there ,I looked back into the bar from my outside table , the memories of the Dolly sisters etc , of course the guys had no idea about all that , as they dance live on their tiktok and Facebook to their friends   , 

The manager looked at me looking back into the bar " you want another drink ? He asked 

" No no , I said ,just thinking about the past , all the Dolly's , obviously looking at me like I was a old nutter and the silly thing is I was rambling on like a old drunk after 5 beers and I remember telling them about the mamasan at Cityboys go go bringing his cat to work.

The Thai manager guy sitting next to me good English "and the cat was Dolly?

" No no Dolly sisters were here I said pointing in the bar 

All 3 guys looking at me weirdly " the cat and sisters he brought here?then they all laughing thinking drink as a skunk 🥳🥳

 😂

And strangely  or ironically I just read the obituary in the Pattaya mail of the latest Dolly sister to depart which brought back more memories.

It's sad in a way ,but things can't stay the same ,but even sadder that people & times are forgotten.

Here I am sitting in a bar that 15  years ago was pumping and the owners famous , fast forward and the guys in Boyztown have no idea what I was on about .😳

Probably thought I was some nutter talking about his  dolly cat and streettalk 😂

I was very fond of the Dolly sisters though , I used to love the Boyztown area back then.

I used to remember all the famous/ infamous bar owners , all the good ones & bad ones 😂

Nowadays there's none of that ,no one to even mention really ,no bar owners stand out anymore ,no infamous or famous ones!

But how fast has life gone by with all these passing, it makes you appreciate your every day more, I often think I'm 62 I have probably 15 to 20 years left, I have to enjoy it

Oh well, forgive me I'm getting old ,past is over I know 

I know what you all thinking and want to say to me 😂

"Oh shut up you rambling old fool 🤣🤣

 

 

 

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

 

I know what you all thinking and want to say to me 😂

"Oh shut up you rambling old fool 🤣🤣

 

 

relax , is not that bad.

Good cure helping us to return  to reality is to meet somebody from those ''good old days'. When we see that person is no longer attractive and funny as we recall then  it may down on us that those  gone days weren't that fabulous and time helps  us to tint the past  with a bit of rose color.

Don't forget that 20 years ago we were looking at the world with different eyes and mind frame than now. Old problems look trivial and no we are dealing with new ones we did not even expect they emerge.

Best cure for nostalgia is to start planning and thinking about next trip. To stop in BKK or go straight to Pattaya? Where to stay, city or Jomtien and so on . Soon Dolly sisters will be forgotten because of real issue at hand: how to get stack of 20 baht notes for your first foray to Nice Boys

[floridarob]

Want to be more sad, look at this page and then the "Life of a typical American" chart.....

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html

or for your own visualization of your life in blocks lived and blocks remaining

https://engaging-data.com/age-calculator/ 

[vinapu]

10 minutes ago, floridarob said:

Want to be more sad, look at this page and then the "Life of a typical American" chart.....

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html

or for your own visualization of your life in blocks lived and blocks remaining

https://engaging-data.com/age-calculator/ 

where's my gun  ?

[Olddaddy]

5 hours ago, floridarob said:

Want to be more sad, look at this page and then the "Life of a typical American" chart.....

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html

or for your own visualization of your life in blocks lived and blocks remaining

https://engaging-data.com/age-calculator/ 

Very interesting!

I met a guy (straight) in Pattaya last month ,66yo and newly retired to Pattaya last month .

He looked at what life he had left in weeks,seemed to be "obsessive" about living each day as you can,of course it's great if you have the fitness and energy! Said he was aiming for 1040 week goal .

Life goes fast,it really does , and I often wonder when I see work colleagues who are in their 70's why they are still working full time and wasting time?🙄

I bumped into a work colleague a few months ago who was 77 and still working,his wife was from Vietnam and the thing that struck me was he said to me with a smile ,"I will be retiring in a few years and going to live in Vietnam,we have a nice bungalow in a island over there"

I looked at him stunned, how long does he think he has got in life, I honestly felt like saying to him why not go now,how long do you think you have left at 77? ?😳

[zoomomancs]

Some people want to keep working. It is their life. I retired at age 59, no regrets so far.

[fedssocr]

After reading this thread YT served up this video to me. About Bangkok, not Pattaya, but the sentiment is similar

 

[Mavica]

3 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Life goes fast,it really does , and I often wonder when I see work colleagues who are in their 70's why they are still working full time and wasting time?🙄

 

Quote

I looked at him stunned, how long does he think he has got in life, I honestly felt like saying to him why not go now,how long do you think you have left at 77? ?😳

I retired at 66, moved to Florida (USA) ... and have been working part-time 2x weekly for six years now.  Seniors in the USA are working longer, oftentimes part-time. My behavior is to mind my own business and not expect others to live a life I choose to live.  I don't consider my lifestyle a waste of time.

[PeterRS]

14 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

It's sad in a way ,but things can't stay the same ,but even sadder that people & times are forgotten.

Times will always change whether we like it or not, sadly. Switching to Bangkok, I always thought the best gogo bar was Barbiery directly across Suriwong from Soi Twilight. It started up in the mid-1980s and was always packed - mostly with Thais - at the weekends. It must have had around 100 boys working there, all seemingly enjoying themselves, and great shows which again those taking part seemed to thoroughly enjoy. Indeed, there was a sense that everyone was having fun in so many of the bars in "those days". For whatever reason, Barbiery changed location to a modern building opposite Nature Boys around 2000. Compared to its earlier incarnation, it was a disaster and died less than 2 years later. So sad!    

Even earlier, I have written before of my first favourite bar being Apollo which i discovered in early 1980. It was located on the right side at the end of Silom Soi 4 (above where Sphinx restaurant was later to appear). As was to happen when the original Twilight moved to its location at the end of Soi Twilight, at around 9:30 pm the boys would all take off their underwear and dance naked for the rest of the evening.

For those interested, there is a fascinating thread of the early years of Soi Twilight over on sawatdee. It's a long thread but a great read.

https://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showthread.php?21487-History-of-Soi-Twilight

2 hours ago, Mavica said:

 I retired at 66, moved to Florida (USA) ... and have been working part-time 2x weekly for six years now.  Seniors in the USA are working longer, oftentimes part-time. My behavior is to mind my own business and not expect others to live a life I choose to live.  I don't consider my lifestyle a waste of time.

I'm factionally older and I still work, but I work for myself and I am fortunate that I have no set hours and no set schedule. I have had a great career which for the most part I really loved. I enjoy keeping in touch and working occasionally even though retired. I would find life quite boring without that.

[Londoner]

Old age has its blessings...possibly...but one problem in store for you youngsters, if you stay healthy, is to see your friends and family die before you. Make the most of these relationships while you can. 

[Olddaddy]

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Times will always change whether we like it or not, sadly. Switching to Bangkok, I always thought the best gogo bar was Barbiery directly across Suriwong from Soi Twilight. It started up in the mid-1980s and was always packed - mostly with Thais - at the weekends. It must have had around 100 boys working there, all seemingly enjoying themselves, and great shows which again those taking part seemed to thoroughly enjoy. Indeed, there was a sense that everyone was having fun in so many of the bars in "those days". For whatever reason, Barbiery changed location to a modern building opposite Nature Boys around 2000. Compared to its earlier incarnation, it was a disaster and died less than 2 years later. So sad!    

Even earlier, I have written before of my first favourite bar being Apollo which i discovered in early 1980. It was located on the right side at the end of Silom Soi 4 (above where Sphinx restaurant was later to appear). As was to happen when the original Twilight moved to its location at the end of Soi Twilight, at around 9:30 pm the boys would all take off their underwear and dance naked for the rest of the evening.

For those interested, there is a fascinating thread of the early years of Soi Twilight over on sawatdee. It's a long thread but a great read.

https://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showthread.php?21487-History-of-Soi-Twilight

I'm factionally older and I still work, but I work for myself and I am fortunate that I have no set hours and no set schedule. I have had a great career which for the most part I really loved. I enjoy keeping in touch and working occasionally even though retired. I would find life quite boring without that.

There's certain jobs probably you never sort of retire in, Doctor ,lawyer etc ,my local GP is 76 and works twice a week.

I have a lawyer that does general stuff for me ,Wills,signatures etc ,he is 67

[Olddaddy]

2 hours ago, PeterRS said:

Times will always change whether we like it or not, sadly. Switching to Bangkok, I always thought the best gogo bar was Barbiery directly across Suriwong from Soi Twilight. It started up in the mid-1980s and was always packed - mostly with Thais - at the weekends. It must have had around 100 boys working there, all seemingly enjoying themselves, and great shows which again those taking part seemed to thoroughly enjoy. Indeed, there was a sense that everyone was having fun in so many of the bars in "those days". For whatever reason, Barbiery changed location to a modern building opposite Nature Boys around 2000. Compared to its earlier incarnation, it was a disaster and died less than 2 years later. So sad!    

Even earlier, I have written before of my first favourite bar being Apollo which i discovered in early 1980. It was located on the right side at the end of Silom Soi 4 (above where Sphinx restaurant was later to appear). As was to happen when the original Twilight moved to its location at the end of Soi Twilight, at around 9:30 pm the boys would all take off their underwear and dance naked for the rest of the evening.

For those interested, there is a fascinating thread of the early years of Soi Twilight over on sawatdee. It's a long thread but a great read.

https://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showthread.php?21487-History-of-Soi-Twilight

I'm factionally older and I still work, but I work for myself and I am fortunate that I have no set hours and no set schedule. I have had a great career which for the most part I really loved. I enjoy keeping in touch and working occasionally even though retired. I would find life quite boring without that.

Peter may I ask what your career was ?

[reader]

It's hardly a secret that the majority of posters here are in the 50+ age group so it's understandable that issues about aging frequently come up. It becomes a time in our lives when we realize when we tend to look back with both fondness and regret. That's perfectly normal. But if we find ourselves dwelling too much on the rear view mirror, we risk allowing it to inhibit our future. At least that's the case for me. From time to time I enjoy reminiscing about earlier days  but I'm also keenly aware that I'm increasingly focused on whatever years I have remaining.

Vinapu offers sage advice when he encourages us to start planning our next trip. It's not a magic elixir but there are probably few better antidotes to the blues.

Growing old and gay presents is own special breed of challenges. As some have written about on these pages, we tend to have few--if any--family members we're comfortable discussing our sexuality with. As much as we'd like to talk about our trips to Thailand, we usually keep it to ourselves or restrict it to forums like this. Yes, it can be quite lonely at times.

Posters have described the pain complete strangers have caused them when they're in the company of young men. This also has the potential to inhibit the way we lead our lives. One close friend gave me this advice when I come across someone like that: "See them for what they are in our life: trash. Visualize tossing them in a bag and disposing them along with the rubbish and forget them. They're not worth another second's thought."

Regardless of our age, we have enough other issues that we can't avoid, health and finances among them. We deal with them as best we can but we don't have to allow the stares and remarks of bigots stand in our way of happiness.

[Olddaddy]

13 minutes ago, reader said:

It's hardly a secret that the majority of posters here are in the 50+ age group so it's understandable that issues about aging frequently come up. It becomes a time in our lives when we realize when we tend to look back with both fondness and regret. That's perfectly normal. But if we find ourselves dwelling too much on the rear view mirror, we risk allowing it to inhibit our future. At least that's the case for me. From time to time I enjoy reminiscing about earlier days  but I'm also keenly aware that I'm increasingly focused on whatever years I have remaining.

Vinapu offers sage advice when he encourages us to start planning our next trip. It's not a magic elixir but there are probably few better antidotes to the blues.

Growing old and gay presents is own special breed of challenges. As some have written about on these pages, we tend to have few--if any--family members we're comfortable discussing our sexuality with. As much as we'd like to talk about our trips to Thailand, we usually keep it to ourselves or restrict it to forums like this. Yes, it can be quite lonely at times.

Posters have described the pain complete strangers have caused them when they're in the company of young men. This also has the potential to inhibit the way we lead our lives. One close friend gave me this advice when I come across someone like that: "See them for what they are in our life: trash. Visualize tossing them in a bag and disposing them along with the rubbish and forget them. They're not worth another second's thought."

Regardless of our age, we have enough other issues that we can't avoid, health and finances among them. We deal with them as best we can but we don't have to allow the stares and remarks of bigots stand in our way of happiness.

Fantastic advice ,hope you don't mind I will screenshot this and keep it👍thankyou ,

[Londoner]

P is due to visit soon. I haven't any fears about "showing" him to neighbours. Next door, one of two sons is gay (and cute!) and opposite live two women whose sexuality is no secret. But that's London for you!

However, P was twenty-one when we met eighteen years ago. I'm not sure I'd be so relaxed if he were still so young.  And I know he wouldn't be; it's something we've often discussed. 

 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, reader said:

Posters have described the pain complete strangers have caused them when they're in the company of young men. This also has the potential to inhibit the way we lead our lives

 Growing old and gay does present some unique challenges, but caring what others think about my lifestyle choices isn’t one of them.  It’s the opposite - and therefore, whatever others may think has no power over me whatsoever. That’s the blessing of being gay & older.

This may seem abstract: our perception about what others think of us is a false construct.  Meaning it is something that we were taught to believe was important and mattered.  It doesn’t.  When you stop caring what others think about you & focus on things that make you really happy - then you will be happy. 

Of course, that’s an over-simplification because health & finances definitely play a part in overall happiness. Given most of the members here are avid travelers, that indicates the overall health is good and everyone is comfortable enough financially to enjoy some international travel.  

Like most other things in life - happiness is a choice.  Given that choice, I will choose to be happy & seek out the people and places that help me along the way.  It’s that simple.  Don’t overcomplicate things.  

[snowglobe11]

Now I’m curious, who were the Dolly Sisters and why were they infamous? 

I’m a lot younger than the average forumer here, but I would really want to know more about the history and stories of our “hobby”. Some sage wisdom would surely be a big help. 

[vinapu]

9 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

I have a lawyer that does general stuff for me ,Wills,signatures etc ,he is 67

I did not know people live that long !

On serious note , 67 is not old, it's when life begins as long as health serves us well. Most duties and chores are gone and done , we may have some usable resources and pension is deposited regularly, it's time to enjoy what we have left. And yes, to plan that next Thai trip

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, reader said:

Posters have described the pain complete strangers have caused them when they're in the company of young men.

3 hours ago, Slvkguy said:

but caring what others think about my lifestyle choices isn’t one of them.  ...

This may seem abstract: our perception about what others think of us is a false construct.  ...

all true but we need to remember while being in company of somebody  much younger that while we don't give  a damn about what people think and say or how they look at us , out companions may not feel that comfortable.

So when, admittedly very rarely ( I may recall 4-5 cases in 22 trips) , they seem apprehensive to walk or dine  together  I tend to yield. After all they are locals and will stay there when we will be gone 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, vinapu said:

they seem apprehensive to walk or dine  together 

might be a cultural thing in Thailand - definitely not a thing in Brazil.  

That said, if someone is uncomfortable in my company for whatever reason  - then, I’m with the wrong person.  Just my opinion.  

[PeterRS]

19 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Peter may I ask what your career was ?

Without being too specific, let's just say it was in the management of the arts, entertainment and related businesses. I think reading my posts some will certainly have guessed it was something like that. And knowing this, you can understand why I can never not work in some way or another. I was so fortunate in that my work was essentially my passion. As for all my travel, hardly a trip went by without my attending one or more operas, plays, musicals etc. In fact, I once flew from Bangkok to Chicago just to see an opera. Another time it was to Dresden.

Now I am quite heavily involved in writing with a first book published in March and a second one about to go to the printers.

[Olddaddy]

17 hours ago, snowglobe11 said:

Now I’m curious, who were the Dolly Sisters and why were they infamous? 

I’m a lot younger than the average forumer here, but I would really want to know more about the history and stories of our “hobby”. Some sage wisdom would surely be a big help. 

https://www.pattayamail.com/latestnews/news/obituary-dolly-john-humphreys-400990

I hope that link works,The Dolly sisters to me were wonderful,always raising money for great causes especially HIV AIDS charities .

Unfortunately both have passed ,sadly relatively young.💛💚💙

[kokopelli 2]

On 8/10/2022 at 8:50 PM, Slvkguy said:

 Of course, that’s an over-simplification because health & finances definitely play a part in overall happiness. Given most of the members here are avid travelers, that indicates the overall health is good and everyone is comfortable enough financially to enjoy some international travel.  

Not so sure about that! Some may have wealth but not health; others have health but no wealth; and many are in the middle. They are financially ok but not in the best of health.