Why not retire to Thailand?

[Olddaddy]

 

I just saw another post where the poster was saying he was retiring to Pattaya in September.

Now this question has been thrown around the gay forums for years and of course many of the original farang expats are no longer with us.

The "latest" gay farangs of course to retire will be more wealthier however is it just me but I have noticed my last few months there is far far less gay farangs retiring to pattaya,no idea about Bangkok but far less gay  resident expats in my opinion 

So this is my update, I just spent several months in Thailand, particularly in Pattaya to see if I still had that "urge" to settle down there forever  like I used to want to when I worked hard and all the overtime I could to save enough money for that "exciting retirement"

Fast forward 25 years and sadly it seems going by my last few months in Pattaya I no longer have that urge or excitement to retire here in Pattayail,I'm not ruling out other parts just Pattaya now doesn't do it for me

Its a combination of things, unfortunately I tend to reminisce over old times and what Pattaya used to be like, walking thru the old Sunee recently I had memories after looking at the old Top man go go ,the exciting & busy times there etc, Michael who used to own it,memories bar ,the old farang expats who used to talk chat laugh with 

The boys who were more Boyfriend material entertainment,rather than the business like boys nowadays.

It's no longer like that,well to me anyway,yes I know times change 

25 years on and now near retirement I cannot see any reason to retire there,the boys are drying up and more than ever " businesslike" with one even sending me a written quote for his services on grinder and times of service etc.

The beer bars I can no longer relate to,I find a few farang owned great where you can communicate with other farangs but most seem Thai owned and uninteresting .

Unfortunately I suffer with "it's not like it used to be" syndrome.

I find most things in the supermarket etc just as expensive if not more expensive than my own country eg cheese& coffee.

But what confirmed it was talking a gay farang in a beer bar who had been here 2 years who was "lonely".He was thinking of going back to the UK as he had his daughter there.

He spent his days living in a jomtien condo near the complex and was ,in his words,"bored"

He had no friends it seems or should I say "real friends" just seemed to be the other gay farangs attending daily the beer bars he would say hello to.On asking if he had a BF he said no you cannot find a real BF here and I believe he is right.

Talking to him gave me that extra thought that it's too early yet and with risk to retire there without having any "support'.

Support meaning someone who is a genuine friend, someone who notices you not around etc ,support when you get sick 

I imagined what my scenario could be  62yo ,then retire to pattaya,I'm  still gym fit & relatively healthy.

So I would rent a condo probably near jomtien complex and spend my days doing what? 

Maybe going to gym like I did, massages etc but the days start to get boring, missing family back home, etc 

Visiting bars? Hiring the services of male prostitutes who want to go as quick as possible,then what?

That got bored for me.

Watch tv ? I would be bored too and very lonely .

Obviously age makes a difference too,if I was 75 instead of 62,it may be more inclination to retire to pattaya but once again where do you get that support if you need it in sickness etc 

What some guys cannot fathom is you will no longer be a guy on a 2 week holiday chasing arse or dick, you will be living there and you will grow tired of it .

You will find the boys working will become disinterested in you as you no longer use their services as much as a 2 week millionaire and they stop contacting you on Grindr etc 

You will sit most nights in your condo watching tv bored shitless, you will go out during some days to beer bars just to talk to someone.

You will be alone the majority of your time unless you hire the services of company who want to most times leave asap anyway 

I can't do it at this stage of my life ,I prefer to continue working and travel each year .

One thing that could change that though is if I had a very genuine Thai  boyfriend and I don't mean a paid boyfriend who works in a bar I mean a real lover , someone you can move there for and live with .

But at this stage guys I would say be very hesitant to jump into something such as retirement to Pattaya and finding out your more lonely than ever!

Suffering depression being away from family,living by yourself in a high rise condo would be no fun with no network support wouldn't be fun, and to be brutally honest with you I have heard there have been far more negative stories of farangs retiring to pattaya particularly gay farangs than positive,that's why you see so many going back after trialling it for a few months 

It wasn't what they imagined, I doubt any like me on here will admit that though,that  they didn't like it here full time ,

I do,I couldn't cut it guys,living in that jomtien condo everyday ,not at this stage of my life, it got boring,I got lonely ,I felt like I had no support,I wanted love after a while, someone to care for and he cared by, the moneyboys,that's what they call themselves nowadays, weren't people I could relate to,times change I guess ,but maybe some day I can get my spark back when Pattaya comes back I guess but not this time, I'm going back home 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Gaybutton]

Do you realize the entire focus of your post is about the gay scene, bars, and boys?  Is that, and only that, what you will be looking for under retirement?

[Olddaddy]

16 minutes ago, Gaybutton said:

Do you realize the entire focus of your post is about the gay scene, bars, and boys?  Is that, and only that, what you will be looking for under retirement?

That's food for thought, you are entirely right, I haven't thought of it that way.

[reader]

Thanks, Olddaddy, for your brutal honesty. The issue of aging and loneliness is something I believe all gay men have to come to terms with at some point. It seems to be happening now for you.

Some on the forum have found a life partner and that affects their decision to retire to Thailand. Others find that they're simply happier in Thailand than they are in their home country. But for most of us, Thailand remains a frequent destination but not our home base.

It has crossed my mind to retire to bkk but I wouldn't consider it unless I could first master the language. Learning any new language is more difficult with age but still possible if you're adequately motivated. I'm not and I can't envision a life in Thailand without being able to communicate in Thai.

If you're seeking boyfriend material, maybe just start looking for friends first. Friendships can have a way of turning into more meaningful relationships over time. But if you begin by limiting your field of candidates to sexual contacts, you may find that the relationships never grow beyond that point.

In any case, you're still a relatively young old man. You have a right to a happy future and I wish you well on your journey.

 

[fedssocr]

I have a good friend who is nearing retirement. He's already 66. For years he's been talking about the need to have friends around in old age to help care for you. He recently had back surgery and thanks to his sister and several friends he had a good network helping him out in his recovery phase. He and his oldest friends talk about creating a group home of sorts for themselves so they will always have each other nearby. He's an extrovert so I think he really needs people around more than I do. As a pretty strong introvert I am able to entertain myself pretty well. The last couple of years of the pandemic I haven't really interacted with many people. I've been working from home full time since it started. Most days I don't leave my apartment. I do talk to my best friend on the phone almost every day which does help.

I expect that if I tried to retire away from where I have spent the last 32 years it would be difficult. While I don't have a huge number of friends, my small network is quite reliable. Making new friends at retirement age is likely to be difficult for most people - especially so for an introvert. While I don't know that I would be any more lonely there than I am here, I think it's likely there would be a real degree of isolation being on the other side of the world.

Thailand doesn't seem especially stable - but I'm not sure there are many places these days that are. But the rules there - such as they are - can change quickly. 

My current expectation is that I will spend several months each year traveling (at least for the first few years). Rather than retiring to Thailand full time I think I would want to go for a couple of months at a time. But home base will still be where I am now.

[floridarob]

I retired/left the workforce 10 yrs ago at 48 yrs old. It was between Mexico and Bangkok where I wanted to move to, Pattaya was out of the question, is great to visit but I couldn't imagine living there.

The more I looked into in, Mexico was the clear winner. Easier to get residency and no reporting BS and no keeping money in their banks. Once a resident in Mexico the only thing you have to report to immigration is any change of address. I built an impressive house that would cost millions in the USA.....Also, is less than a 2 hr flight back to the US if I needed to.....almost 2 yrs ago I needed to have my gallbladder removed and flew to Boston. Merida has great hospitals and Doctors, however, I'd prefer a Boston hospital over international hospitals when having the choice.

I got a little bored after a couple of years and opened a NY Style  Pizzeria.....that has kept me more than busy. In countries like Mexico or Thailand, having even a small business like this makes you sort of a celebrity. You hear "he's the owner" just like in Thailand, he's the owner carries big weight.

My family isn't close and most of my friends have family and careers, so I hardly saw them. I hang around with almost exclusively locals between 18-35 and it makes me feel/look younger than I am. Plus Spanish is much easier to learn than Thai .....😝

I could imagine if I did go to BKK, I'd open a business there too....the bureaucracy in both places are stupid, but not impossible to overcome. I did all my own documents and even have a liquor license, all done without any bribes. Merida is in Mexico but corruption, although it exists, isn't as bad as other parts of Mexico or probably Thailand.

I read somewhere that 72% of Americans live in or close to the city they were born in. I lived in Florida for 10 years and is a very transient state, many people end up going back to where they came from....moving internationally is a huge move and with a change of language, culture and politics, isn't for everyone.

[bkkmfj2648]

I am the guy that Olddaddy is referring to.

What he wrote are also my concerns - meaning will I fit into a new retiree life in Pattaya/Jomtien.

I have left my doors open so that I can return to Europe (or to some other destination) - where I live now - if I won't like Pattaya/Jomtien.

I am originally from the USA and I left the USA in 1999 as a result of some gun violence that occurred to a friend.  It was in Colorado - our ski buddy group went out for a beer.  I was tired that night so I left earlier to go home.  Our friend was the last person to leave the bar that night - he went out back to the parking lot to get in his car - some random guy came up to him and said give me your wallet - he replied NO and the killer said, good-bye and shot him dead at point blank range.  After his funeral at one of the ski group friend dinners, my friends told me, hey, we are going to get our gun licenses - do you want to join us (back in 1998)?  I replied, NO thanks - in fact, I will use this opportunity to leave the USA to finish my undergraduate studies that I never finished.  I hate gun violence!!

So, in 1999 I moved to Rome, Italy and started my new life there as an older student at the university.  Just shy of the first year, I almost moved back to the USA - as the culture shock and language barriers were keeping me from fitting in.  Of course I fit in with the younger students but I did not click with them as they were just there for a one semester abroad party.  I persevered and seeked out an Italian who could not speak much English to live with and after living with him for 6 years - I was able to fit in, make real friends, learn their language, get my Italian citizenship, and find an international career.

So, what I learned in my early years in Italy - I am hoping will give me the strength and perseverance to help me fit in and adapt to my new life to-be as a retiree in Pattaya/Jomtien.

I believe that if we encounter loneliness - then it is our own responsibility to overcome it.  I am also an introvert - but I can force myself - when needed - to be extroverted.  So, I will push myself to create a network in Pattaya so that I do not become that lonely person in a nice condo overlooking the Gulf of Thailand wondering - Oh my GOD - what have I done.  If I find myself in that predicament of loneliness - then I will only have myself to blame.

My life will not ONLY consist of the Jomtien Complex, the gay beach, Boyztown, and Sunee.  I see that there are so many additional things to do in the environment, nature, helping out the less fortunate, joining the expat group PCEC Pattaya City Expats Club, continue with some projects that my former employer would like me to work on, use Pattaya/Bangkok as a jumping off point to explore the nearby countries, explore Thailand in a more deeper way - after watching  Paddy Doyle's great adventure where he explored ALL 77 of the Thailand provinces - I realized that I also want to do that - and it would be so cool to do it on a low powered motorbike like he did.

So, in summary, do I fear all that Olddaddy wrote - HELL YES!!!  but, I am not getting any younger and I have lived in the North American continent (New York and Colorado) and then the European Union (Italy and Hungary) - now it is time for Asia and all the excitement that this will bring to me for the last chapters of my life.

[scott456]

11 hours ago, fedssocr said:

 My current expectation is that I will spend several months each year traveling (at least for the first few years). Rather than retiring to Thailand full time I think I would want to go for a couple of months at a time. But home base will still be where I am now.

You need somebody to take care of your home back in the U.S., and watch out for any important mails(government correspondence etc).  Many entities don't allow using mailbox as your address.  I travel overseas no longer than one month at a time.

[TMax]

For me, I retired some time ago now and the thought of moving to either Thailand or the Philippines is still very much on my mind and still relatively relative young I imagine still plenty of time to enjoy life. I too am a bit of an introvert so not having a lot of friends over there to socialize with is not a big problem, I can always find something to keep me interested as I am interested in history and other cultures so studying would keep the mind busy.

There is quite a difference between the countries I have thought about, retirement visa or other visas I see the Philippines is so much easier (SRRV visa for the Philippines) and there isn't the constant reporting or extensions of the visa. Health care is a concern and taking out private health insurance would be a must no matter which country is the choice. For Thailand I would be happy to live in Bangkok as it has everything a person could want with plenty to do, non sex scene as well as sex scene. There is good health care there with the private hospitals etc but in the place I like in the Philippines, if something goes wrong it is a very long trip from the mountain province to the quality private hospitals in Manila. Also in the mountain province there really isn't a lot to do so study wise I would have to rely on the inetrnet which isn't as good or reliable as that in Thailand.  

High on the list would also be travel around the country of choice, this would also be fairly often and another way to stay occupied. Both countries have many places that I would love to check out so overall there is plenty for me to do and see either way. Food wise I must say Thai food is the hands down winner even though I still enjoy Filipino food. My current thoughts are leaning towards Thailand but things and minds can change so if the opportunity does arise and I decide to make a move then some serious thought and planning would have to take place, in the meantime I can still dream of what it would be like.

[fedssocr]

39 minutes ago, scott456 said:

You need somebody to take care of your home back in the U.S., and watch out for any important mails(government correspondence etc).  Many entities don't allow using mailbox as your address.  I travel overseas no longer than one month at a time.

I have friends who look after my plants and take care of the mail. 

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, scott456 said:

You need somebody to take care of your home back in the U.S., and watch out for any important mails(government correspondence etc).  Many entities don't allow using mailbox as your address.  I travel overseas no longer than one month at a time.

What about those of you with pets?

I actually met a farang 76yo  up at soi bukhao nice old man said he had 6 dogs !!!

Said he couldn't go on trips but he loved his dogs more than anything!

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, TMax said:

For me, I retired some time ago now and the thought of moving to either Thailand or the Philippines is still very much on my mind and still relatively relative young I imagine still plenty of time to enjoy life. I too am a bit of an introvert so not having a lot of friends over there to socialize with is not a big problem, I can always find something to keep me interested as I am interested in history and other cultures so studying would keep the mind busy.

There is quite a difference between the countries I have thought about, retirement visa or other visas I see the Philippines is so much easier (SRRV visa for the Philippines) and there isn't the constant reporting or extensions of the visa. Health care is a concern and taking out private health insurance would be a must no matter which country is the choice. For Thailand I would be happy to live in Bangkok as it has everything a person could want with plenty to do, non sex scene as well as sex scene. There is good health care there with the private hospitals etc but in the place I like in the Philippines, if something goes wrong it is a very long trip from the mountain province to the quality private hospitals in Manila. Also in the mountain province there really isn't a lot to do so study wise I would have to rely on the inetrnet which isn't as good or reliable as that in Thailand.  

High on the list would also be travel around the country of choice, this would also be fairly often and another way to stay occupied. Both countries have many places that I would love to check out so overall there is plenty for me to do and see either way. Food wise I must say Thai food is the hands down winner even though I still enjoy Filipino food. My current thoughts are leaning towards Thailand but things and minds can change so if the opportunity does arise and I decide to make a move then some serious thought and planning would have to take place, in the meantime I can still dream of what it would be like.

Filipino food such as Balut?

I found Filipinos seem to love their American fast food more than anything,that's my impression anyway 

I was in the Philippines last night at the airport and saw some stunners, dark skin ,tight butt cheeks and strong build guys😘

I would like to check out farang expat  places like Dumamagette & Palawan, I wasn't keen on Manila 😞

Philippines is cheaper than Thailand in many aspects ( not for hotels in Manila though😅

I guess if I had a real lover I could live in the Philippines anywhere ,but like Gaybutton says, just don't take into account the sex .

I think close proximity to hospitals,safety ,gym , recreation facilities etc are high priority when deciding where  to retire 

[Olddaddy]

1 hour ago, scott456 said:

You need somebody to take care of your home back in the U.S., and watch out for any important mails(government correspondence etc).  Many entities don't allow using mailbox as your address.  I travel overseas no longer than one month at a time.

I will now travel for less than a month too!

I just done a big trip of nearly 3 months in the Philippines & Thailand

Too long .

[TMax]

Balut is a very big no for me, I hate even being near people when they eat it. Palawan is a very nice place and been there several times and have intentions of going back for a holiday some time. 

[Olddaddy]

3 minutes ago, TMax said:

Balut is a very big no for me, I hate even being near people when they eat it. Palawan is a very nice place and been there several times and have intentions of going back for a holiday some time. 

My impression after travelling the Philippines last few weeks is they love their fast food chains, everywhere I went in shopping malls etc they were busy lining up for Jollibees fast food & all those American chain restaurants.

If that was Thailand it would be the street food they line up for, I found that a bit of a shock compared to Thailand where they love their street food, but maybe I was just in the wrong places/areas  in the Philippines.

I guess more in the poorer type areas of Manila you would find more street food but the Shopping malls were always crowded ,I couldn't get over how crowded they were along with their fast food restaurants.

No wonder there's so many " large size" Filipino around,some looked like Hawaiian/islander look 

 

 

[kokopelli 2]

I know many retirees, including myself, who live in Pattaya and have no problems. No  one I know wishes to return to their home country except, maybe, in an urn.

[fedssocr]

There are many Polynesian folks in the Philippines. A good friend of mine who came from the Philippines at a young age is a big Polynesian guy. Of course there are many people with more Spanish ancestry as well. But for sure American style fast food isn't good for anyone. The proliferation of those restaurants hasn't been good for Thailand either.

[TMax]

Definitely in the Philippines they love their fast food restaurants, they are literally everywhere.

[Olddaddy]

6 minutes ago, kokopelli 2 said:

I know many retirees, including myself, who live in Pattaya and have no problems. No  one I know wishes to return to their home country except, maybe, in an urn.

I guess you have to have " interests' or hobbies , or you perhaps you may have a boyfriend or a lot of friends you enjoy being with ?

I'm more unfortunately introvert ,I also suffer from depression sometimes .

Perhaps if I didn't go there to retire with that mindset of looking only for sex and actually looked for other things in my lifestyle it would be ok, but I didn't those few months, I just sat all day at beer bars 

 

[kjun12]

16 hours ago, Gaybutton said:

Do you realize the entire focus of your post is about the gay scene, bars, and boys?  Is that, and only that, what you will be looking for under retirement?

 

[Shonen]

I’m 64 and have been retired for seven years. I spend 5 months every year in Pattaya, the rest in USA.

I find I’m happier in Thailand. I still love the sex, even though there’s less choices now. And I spend 2 or 3 months with my money boy boyfriend. I think it’s him that makes it good. He’s not afraid to be seen with me, and we have a nice routine. We wake up about 2 pm and have a meal , sometimes hang out on the beach.

I’ve read that paying someone to love you can cause depression. I’m aware ot that and accepted that he loves my money more than me,lol. But I’m certainly not lonely with him. Half the battle I guess.

I cannot live in Bangkok because of the pollution. Pattaya is a bit better in that regards. I’m an introvert and I’m easily entertained! I try to learn some Thai but I don’t have to.

I’ve found Great Depression since I came back to USA after Covid. I’m very isolated and lonely in the USA. I suppose I could find a guy near my age here. As long as he doesn’t mind me going to Pattaya for 5 months, might be hard to find someone like that.

If I was rich I’d just retire in Thailand. It’s the fear of not being able to afford health insurance latter on that keeps me going only 5 months.

Also I’m healthier in the USA. The air cleaner, healthy food, and I like my doctors here. I swim in Thailand and in USA I use a gym and walk. I need to break up the workout routine. 
 

I think Olddaddy, you’re right about being bored in Jomtien. Jomtien is boring! I sold my vt condo there.  I think you’re in a good position though. You’re in Australia, which is nice and close, so you can adjust your trips better. You’re an introvert like me. You can pursue sex and do other things, you need to look hard and you’ll be surprised what you might find. But most importantly is having someone you can count on, if you’re sick,etc. I have same problem! You can contact me if you’re there when I am, I’m always there for my friends.

[alvnv]

2 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Filipino food such as Balut?

Every country has some type of dish that is objectionable to non-natives of the said country. Balut is one of such examples. Although I would never eat it myself, it does not stop me from enjoying other Filipino dishes, such as pancit bihon, lumpiang shanghai, lechon kawali, crispy pata, etc.

[kokopelli 2]

12 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

I guess you have to have " interests' or hobbies , or you perhaps you may have a boyfriend or a lot of friends you enjoy being with ?

I'm more unfortunately introvert ,I also suffer from depression sometimes .

Perhaps if I didn't go there to retire with that mindset of looking only for sex and actually looked for other things in my lifestyle it would be ok, but I didn't those few months, I just sat all day at beer bars 

 

I do have a boyfriend(s) and do go to the gym but have no interests or hobbies. I like to socialize with some friends and do enjoy the bar scene, but only at night. I have been coming here for 20 years and now made Pattaya my home. Just another old farang who enjoys sex whenever I can.

[gayinpattaya]

For a person who posts extensively about their inability to fuck prostitutes every night while in Pattaya, I get the impression you know very little about this area of Thailand, outside of a few sois. 

Chonburi is a fantastic area for people to retire. There are golf courses, beaches, social clubs. For younger guys there are sports teams. The variety of food options and restaurants is world-leading. It really is endless. If you go down the coast past Rayong, the snow-birds are there in their tens of thousands. It really is beautiful and they live fantastic lives. 

Us expats look at you tourists, just as you look at us expats. We all have our reasons for being here. I know many expats who frequent Jomtien Complex every week, but even those without long term boyfriends are not looking for a "short time" every night. Jomtien Complex is becoming more "gay bars" and less "boy bars" by the day. 

You can pay for a prostitute in most countries in the world. I am not sure it's a good reason to retire abroad. 

Just my 2c.

 

[Boy69]

The major problem Is that Thailand changed dramatically over the last twenty years :

 Retiring nowadays is more complicated the immigration rules are more restricted and changing all the time makes things more uncertain and difficult planing retirement on the long term. 

Thailand become much more expensive than it use to be and the strong Baht isn't helping either. 

Pattaya gay scenery shrinked dramatically Sunee Plaza almost don't exist anymore , most of the gay bars at Boyz Town closed so most of vibrant gay life in Pattaya used to have is gone .

In the past many Thai boys genuinely seeked for falang boyfriend now it's changed most of the boy are money boys and straight so the chances to find real Thai boyfriend are very low.