Is it just me? Am I too old?

[Riobard]

All good points so far.

The first misgivings mentioned were about rates of transactional sex, so the concepts of supply and money must enter into it. So it’s turn-a-profit Friday and I’m disinterested in lining up with my spiked chariot wheels cart for the bargain-basement rush. But I have a historical precedent of capitalizing on slashed prices and possibly bought into the distorted reference points of a very niche consumer subgroup regarding an unsustainably loaded check-out whoard. Each of us must work out the stamina-and-savings equation realistically in terms of those liquidation bins. 

[floridarob]

in the event there is interest in keeping a topic focused, can you say that when you're not taking Quaaludes so we might understand you 😉 

[a-447]

Sorry Riobard but you've lost me there!

At home I usually have a guy over for sex twice a week. We have sex the night he arrives and the next day before he leaves. He spends the second day with me and tends to leave after dinner. So that's 4 times a week - quite a lot less than when I was younger. Although as we flip-flop, I guess that could be considered 8 times! (But I only cum once per session)

I travel for 2 reasons - for sightseeing and for sex. I don't combine the two unless I'm visiting a country for the first time.

I'm interested in medieval Japanese history, which was a compulsory subject at school, and also medieval European history.  So this knowledge is put to great use when I travel to those destinations.

But these days Thailand is for sex only, as I have done the sightseeing bit many times. And because I've gone to the trouble of making the trip I want to have as much sex as possible during my holiday with as many hot, handsome and hung guys as possible.  But twice a day is enough for me, and I find myself slowing down as the days pass so that after about 2 weeks I find it a little difficult to get hard and maintain an erection. Basically, I just run out of puff. That's when I know it's time to come home. 

Also, towards the end of my trip I tend to bottom more, even if I'm with a guy who I can top.

I don't visit the bars in Pattaya these days as I have a regular guy there. In Bangkok I have sex every afternoon with my regular and find another partner for the evening. So there's my 2 times a day. If I find another guy later in the evening I may bottom for him but I don't cum. So technically, that's 3 times.

Although I've slowed down compared with my younger days, my sex drive over the last decade or so has not declined any further. 

Fingers crossed I can maintain my libido for many more years to come,

[ggobkk]

As @readerobserves this is a topic that has drawn lots of insightful comments.  As one who has a few years on you, I can only say is relax into vacations.  I aim for three weeks visits as there is a boredom quotient tht grows with the length of stay.  I agree with @floridarob that sometimes chilling out in the hotel is a suffieicnt way to end the day/night and recharge.

[Riobard]

31 minutes ago, a-447 said:

Sorry Riobard but you've lost me there!

At home I usually have a guy over for sex twice a week. We have sex the night he arrives and the next day before he leaves. He spends the second day with me and tends to leave after dinner. So that's 4 times a week - quite a lot less than when I was younger. Although as we flip-flop, I guess that could be considered 8 times! (But I only cum once per session)

I travel for 2 reasons - for sightseeing and for sex. I don't combine the two unless I'm visiting a country for the first time.

I'm interested in medieval Japanese history, which was a compulsory subject at school, and also medieval European history.  So this knowledge is put to great use when I travel to those destinations.

But these days Thailand is for sex only, as I have done the sightseeing bit many times. And because I've gone to the trouble of making the trip I want to have as much sex as possible during my holiday with as many hot, handsome and hung guys as possible.  But twice a day is enough for me, and I find myself slowing down as the days pass so that after about 2 weeks I find it a little difficult to get hard and maintain an erection. Basically, I just run out of puff. That's when I know it's time to come home. 

Also, towards the end of my trip I tend to bottom more, even if I'm with a guy who I can top.

I don't visit the bars in Pattaya these days as I have a regular guy there. In Bangkok I have sex every afternoon with my regular and find another partner for the evening. So there's my 2 times a day. If I find another guy later in the evening I may bottom for him but I don't cum. So technically, that's 3 times.

Although I've slowed down compared with my younger days, my sex drive over the last decade or so has not declined any further. 

Fingers crossed I can maintain my libido for many more years to come,

So neither others’ experiences of frequency of sex nor your past higher frequency is the reference point for your degree of comfort with your evolved frequency. That’s good and that level of adaptation is evolved.  I think that the low cost of transactional sex in many jurisdictions is a factor in rating the degree of overall satisfaction with having fully capitalized on a given trip. They are intertwined and the risk is that a natural evolution in frequency of sex is mistakenly conflated with some notion of personal deterioration. I think that a levelling of regional costs associated with transactional sex might for some reduce their subjective misgivings about reduced sexual frequency. As many here have alluded, the qualitative aspect can compensate for the quantitative aspect that on its own in isolation can lead to regret that unfortunately arises regarding irreversible lifespan changes. I was simply tossing in the financial variable because it had not been mentioned but is, IMO, a factor in these appraisals. I won’t add my own changing patterns in transactional sex frequency because they are likely irrelevant in assisting others in adaptation to theirs. In short, it’s me AND I’m old, AND other factors (eg, financial bargains) that fit into the equation. 

[numazu]

@Olddaddy we applaud you for putting your fears out here on the board, and obviously it has struck a chord with a lot of people here, which should make you feel good about what you’re going through right now. Being envious of other people having more than you is natural and a common experience. Someone will always be richer, be more good looking, be younger, have more energy, than you will ever be. Your main concern, that you are older and slower that you used to be, is just a fact of life, and something that we do not have any control over. So you can be envious of others that still have their youth and energy, or you can use envy as a motivation for you to focus on the things that YOU can control, be it inviting a cute guy to have pizza with you, or discover a place in Bangkok you’ve never seen before, to mix things up. 

And have you thought of maybe that others are envious of you too? Having the resources, and the time, to spend 7 straight weeks in the Greatest CIty on Earth™ is no small feat. You have probably worked your darndest all your life to get to this point, and that is something to be proud of. I’m pretty sure most of us here on the board are envious of you for having the means and the courage to go on a vacation this long (I know I am). And don’t forget, this is YOUR vacation. You set your own rules. If you want to eat pizza alone every night after a night in the town, then that’s great! If it makes you happy. The pressures and expectations you have of your own energy levels and youth are all from you, and no one else has the right, nor the capability, of telling you how you should spend your vacation. 

Finally, I am glad you are letting yourself feel these “negative” feelings, and being honest about how it affects you, and even putting yourself out there, out here on the board, by reaching out to like minded people such as us. I feel that life is better if there is a balance. Too much of a good thing really is too much, and that includes sex. Be glad that you can fuck all those pretty things once in while, while allowing yourself the time to convalesce, and regains both your strength physically, and your desires mentally, for another round or three. I love this graphic:

because it shows that balance is ultimately what you should strive for. You will have your ups, and your inevitable downs (like what you’re going through now), but no matter what happens, make sure that you enjoy yourself, because that’s the whole point right?

 

[10tazione]

11 hours ago, vinapu said:

Take only 2 a day ?

Or maybe 5 guys at the same time? I guess that's less exhausting than have them one after the other?

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Riobard said:

think that a levelling of regional costs associated with transactional sex might for some reduce their subjective misgivings about reduced sexual frequency. As many here have alluded, the qualitative aspect can compensate for the quantitative aspect that on its own in isolation can lead to regret that unfortunately arises regarding irreversible lifespan changes

agree - 100%

[dellboy]

11 hours ago, Vessey said:

Another interesting thread.......

 

thanks for such an honest and informative statement ! 

[PeterRS]

On 7/27/2022 at 7:26 AM, Olddaddy said:

I don't know how you guys have the stamina ,at 62 my body won't let me . . .

Oh I'm getting too old 👴👴👴👴🤣🤣

I don't think we are ever too old for sexual activity, although stamina may be reduced. I'm older than @Olddaddy and in Thailand I have my long time partner with me. Out of the country, though, I am let off the leash! A few years ago on a trip to Taipei when I was several years older than @Olddaddyis now, I relied on the apps. One day I had unusually set up two hook ups - one at lunchtime and the other late afternoon.

Then just after breakfast a guy sent me a message. He worked nearby and would be going out soon to collect something for his company. Could we meet? I basically said I was busy, but he looked cute and pressed hard - so what was I supposed to do? He came, we met for a quick coffee in the lobby, he was indeed cute and - well, the next 45 minutes were extremely enjoyable.

The only problem with 3 guys in one day is that I twice had to send out for dry towels! No doubt housekeeping was well aware of the reason! As I was relaxing after my last scheduled encounter, oops - it happened again. An art student had just finished a late class (I usually stay close to a university) and clicked on me. Could he see me before he went home? Although tired, he looked even more cute than my earlier encounters, and so I said ok but added I'd had a tiring day. He looked gorgeous both clothed and naked on the bed. He was also like a tiger and I had once again to work hard. But what a session! After he left, I went down to the bar for a stiff drink before heading back for a long sleep.

All the boys were only out for sex. All seemed to enjoy being with much older westerners. As in the case of most on the apps in Taipei, none was a money boy. 4 is the most ever in one day and I have never come close to repeating it. One a day now is perfect for me. But what a day! What a memory!

[xpaulo]

"In a way I'm a bit depressing I can't do what I used to 15 years ago"

I just turned 63 and noticed a big difference in myself on a trip to Europe last winter. The biggest is I can't stay up late anymore. I want to be in bed by 10 or 11. But I've reconciled to it. I mainly want to be in foreign places just for the difference from home and the men of course. But all that can be done during the day. I took some guided tours for the first time and enjoyed them. The guides are often young and a little subversive.

 

 

[Olddaddy]

40 minutes ago, xpaulo said:

"In a way I'm a bit depressing I can't do what I used to 15 years ago"

I just turned 63 and noticed a big difference in myself on a trip to Europe last winter. The biggest is I can't stay up late anymore. I want to be in bed by 10 or 11. But I've reconciled to it. I mainly want to be in foreign places just for the difference from home and the men of course. But all that can be done during the day. I took some guided tours for the first time and enjoyed them. The guides are often young and a little subversive.

 

 

Strangely I used to be a night owl too,always stayed  up late even worked the night shifts!

Nowadays even on vacation I'm in bed by midnight most nights.

I keep myself fit ,overdo the gym,drink protein,( I mean the powdered form😂) take vitamins and still I feel sleepy at night

I would imagine how I would be if I drank alcohol,abused my body with junk food  etc

[Min]

3 hours ago, PeterRS said:

An art student had just finished a late class (I usually stay close to a university) and clicked on me.

Somehow my main takeaway from your post is that next time I should book a hotel in the vicinity of a campus

[Olddaddy]

4 hours ago, Min said:

Somehow my main takeaway from your post is that next time I should book a hotel in the vicinity of a campus

Great point though, probably a lot of free guys wanting to experience with an older guy plus the Gay4pay straight boys needing money 

[Lucky]

For someone who turns 58 today to refer to himself as "old" makes me wonder what he will think when he hits 70.

Happy birthday @Olddaddy

[PeterRS]

6 hours ago, Min said:

Somehow my main takeaway from your post is that next time I should book a hotel in the vicinity of a campus

In Taipei I always stay near Da'an Park. It's a small park and ideal for a short morning walk before breakfast. The Dandy Hotel Da'an Park is one of a big chain of hotels but very moderately priced and within meters of the Da'an subway station on the Red Line. Usefully this is the line that takes you to the main hot springs near Shipai station out west. It is also close enough to the very large National Taiwan University campus to be either within  walking distance or a short bus ride. There are dozens of great cheap eateries around the Green Line subway stations by the University. And Taipei's main (perhaps only) sex shop is very near one of those Green Line stations!

One comment I have heard many times from various guys I have met as well as a former long-term boyfriend is that there is a big lack of available older westerners in Taipei city. No doubt that's why in my view it is one of the easiest cities in the region to hook up with handsome young guys who are not money boys.

[fedssocr]

I'll have to try all of that next time. I love Taipei

[Olddaddy]

10 hours ago, Lucky said:

For someone who turns 58 today to refer to himself as "old" makes me wonder what he will think when he hits 70.

Happy birthday @Olddaddy

Yes my birthday yesterday, unfortunately I celebrated it by myself with greetings from friends over WhatsApp.

But such is life when your travelling 

 

 

[Londoner]

 One of the issues that my generation of Thailand-falangs faces-  not youngsters like olddaddy of course- is that now I know that each trip I take may be my last.  "Carpe Diem" are the last words I say to myself when climbing into my car for the drive to the airport. 

It's not just the advent of the Final Curtain, but the increased possibility of ill-health that would make the already arduous journey to BKK beyond my capabilities that haunts me.

Then there comes the farewell to P. Will  it be the final one?  It's not a subject I choose to raise with him directly but the legal and financial implications for him have to be addressed; and he knows that I'm seeing my lawyer about my will when I get home. That embrace as we part company  at the airport shortly will be deeply affecting. It always is.

So, living each day as if it's your last, something we used to sing, of all places, at Primary School, remains a powerful precept for lovers of Thailand; and even more so for lovers of Thais.

i should apologise for adding a melancholic note to an interesting thread but, let's be honest, it has been the elephant in the room, has it not? Or perhaps it's just me.

[Shax]

On 7/27/2022 at 8:26 AM, Olddaddy said:

Now 6 weeks into my 7 week vacation, the last few weeks I have really slowed down and I feel guilty.

At 62yo I just it seems,don't have the stamina anymore to keep " fucking" ,to keep taking guys back to the room whether they are paid or free ,in fact last night I ordered pizza in my hotel room and watched a movie ,all alone !

I envy you guy on here who can take 3 guys everyday,who can rage all night at different go Go bars ,how do you do it?

I'm gym fit, I eat well, I'm even taking extra vitamin and staying off the alcohol ,but I can't do it everyday anymore !!!!

I'm really getting depressed about it,

Can I ask honestly,do you guys on your vacation go out every night to bars,do you take guys everyday for sex?

Did you drink alcohol everyday in the bars too?

I don't know how you guys have the stamina ,at 62 my body won't let me ,I tried it the first week, went to gym in the morning , sightseeing during the day and walking, go Go bars,alcohol , discos ,then boys at night ,by the second week I was in bed a few days sick !!!

In a way im a bit depressing I can't do what I used to 15 years ago where I sort of lived to the fullest my vacation time 

How do you guys have sex with multiple guys everyday on your vacation!

Look to be honest with you guys,I would never do such a long vacation again,7 weeks is just far too long!

I hate to say it but boredom does come into sometimes when on such a long vacation time.

Oh I'm getting too old 👴👴👴👴🤣🤣🤣

 

 

 .

 

 

I've been an avid reader on this forum and used to frequent BKK prior to the pandemic. Just my 2 cents' on this topic:

I'm a 35 yo gym fit guy with a healthy (i think) sex drive but in all of my trips to BKK, I rarely have sex with the guys I meet there, paid or otherwise. I remember some trips where I didn't have sex with any of the guys I met onlie and off'd from the bars.

In fact, I've actually off'd guys from the bars just to have them accompany me for a drink or late night dinner. Same goes for the guys I meet online. Occassionally, things progressed to some fun times in bed (I'm not a celibate lol) but it's not always the case. 

I think not having sex everyday on your vacation is not something to dread or be regretful of. At the end of the day, I just want to enjoy my vacation in Thailand. That may, or may not, involve having sex with the guys I meet. Sometimes, it just means relaxing at the pool of the hotel or dinner at a slighly fancy place or just exploring the different layers of Thailand.

[PeterRS]

28 minutes ago, Londoner said:

let's be honest, it has been the elephant in the room, has it not? Or perhaps it's just me.

It's certainly not only you - or at least, it certainly shouldn't be! I'm just surprised that reading between the lines of your post you have left it so long to consult your lawyer. Hopefully it's only to revise an existing wil.

lt also took me too long to decide on a will, the more so when I had a property and a reasonable amount of savings and investments either in the bank or due to come in a few years. I was nearing 60 at the time. I should have consulted a lawyer a good 20 or even 30 years earlier so that as I earned and saved more provision had been made for my assets should I fall under a bus.

I do suggest that this is an issue everyone must discuss openly especially with a long time partner. It's particularly true when, I suspect in both our cases, our partners are considerably younger. If it so happened that I died without a formal updated will, I hate to think of all the problems that would leave him.

[scott456]

I don't have family members or any significant others to worry about.  I don't want to leave any money to anyone.  So I just need to figure out a way to time my death and money spending. 

[Londoner]

PeterRS can be reassured. I've had a will for decades.

 The issues of the moment are two-fold; firstly, ensuring that my estate finds its way to two foreign beneficiaries, one in Thailand, the other, possibly complicated, in Palestine. And as  quickly as possible in P's case.

 Secondly, like scott456, , I haven't got family to worry about- the remaining ones  do not  need my money- but I do have to face the fact that , were I to be disabled mentally in my dotage, I'd need someone to make decisions for me. And that would have to be a lawyer. I'd not wish to burden P with that responsibility.

I seem  to  have turned an amusing and interesting thread into something more dark. Again, sorry.

 

[xpaulo]

22 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Strangely I used to be a night owl too,always stayed  up late even worked the night shifts!

Nowadays even on vacation I'm in bed by midnight most nights.

I keep myself fit ,overdo the gym,drink protein,( I mean the powdered form😂) take vitamins and still I feel sleepy at night

I would imagine how I would be if I drank alcohol,abused my body with junk food  etc

I'm certainly glad I quit smoking about 30 years ago, both my parents and recently my sister suffered a lot at the end, especially my mother, my brother couldn't visit her, it was too hard on him. "That's not my mother, " he said.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Londoner said:

is that now I know that each trip I take may be my last.  "Carpe Diem" are the last words I say to myself when climbing into my car for the drive to the airport

that is the elephant in the room for sure as we get older.  
somewhere in my late fifties, I lost the idea that there was no end.  seems to have coincided with losing both parents within a very short period.  No complaints bc they lived a very long life, but after that happens, the realization is I’m next.  And that isn’t all bad either.  I don’t live each day as if it’s my last, but I do savor faraway vacation spots as if I may never see that place again.  And that leads to a different kind of appreciation & gratitude of the entire experience.  It becomes more rich & fulfilling.  

Not sure if that is just losing the youthful idea of immortality, or it’s now compounded as yet another Covid takeaway?  Meaning the future is unpredictable and we just can’t count on the idea that life will go, undisturbed.  The replacement mantra is don’t take anything for granted and go where I want to go NOW.  And enjoy every minute.

Cliches for sure: “there are two sides to the same coin” and “every cloud has a sliver lining”.  So, it gets down to a matters of perception and framing.  Of course, that’s easy for me to say given Im blessed w good health and a comfortable life.  And that’s something I acknowledge and appreciate too. From the posts here about long distance travel specifically, Id say many can related to that statement - most still have our health & have enough money for these trips.
Aging is a mixed bag, but overall a blessing as we get older & wiser - seemingly important things become less so and it’s the small things that bring joy.  A more simple life w more simple pleasures.  For me, it’s about growing older gracefully which means acknowledging the new realities, lots of self-care and less fear of judgment. It’s liberating to let those things go. 

Of course there’s an end and that’s to be expected.  The western cultures are taught to fear death, even though many others believe it’s just another transition to something better. 

This isn’t dark subject matter or a discussion that should be taboo. It’s real and many of us are at the point where these thoughts come & go.  Better to bring it out into the light where others can support and let you know they’re experiencing the exact same thing.