Is it just me? Am I too old?

[Olddaddy]

Now 6 weeks into my 7 week vacation, the last few weeks I have really slowed down and I feel guilty.

At 62yo I just it seems,don't have the stamina anymore to keep " fucking" ,to keep taking guys back to the room whether they are paid or free ,in fact last night I ordered pizza in my hotel room and watched a movie ,all alone !

I envy you guy on here who can take 3 guys everyday,who can rage all night at different go Go bars ,how do you do it?

I'm gym fit, I eat well, I'm even taking extra vitamin and staying off the alcohol ,but I can't do it everyday anymore !!!!

I'm really getting depressed about it,

Can I ask honestly,do you guys on your vacation go out every night to bars,do you take guys everyday for sex?

Did you drink alcohol everyday in the bars too?

I don't know how you guys have the stamina ,at 62 my body won't let me ,I tried it the first week, went to gym in the morning , sightseeing during the day and walking, go Go bars,alcohol , discos ,then boys at night ,by the second week I was in bed a few days sick !!!

In a way im a bit depressing I can't do what I used to 15 years ago where I sort of lived to the fullest my vacation time 

How do you guys have sex with multiple guys everyday on your vacation!

Look to be honest with you guys,I would never do such a long vacation again,7 weeks is just far too long!

I hate to say it but boredom does come into sometimes when on such a long vacation time.

Oh I'm getting too old 👴👴👴👴🤣🤣🤣

 

 

 .

 

 

[Gaybutton]

29 minutes ago, Olddaddy said:

I'm really getting depressed about it .

Don't be.  Wrong reaction and wrong emotion.  It can happen to anyone.  That's your body telling you to give yourself a rest before you wear yourself out completely.  I know most who come here for a holiday think they're missing out on something if they don't have sex every day - especially if they rarely get any back home.  But that's nonsense. 

I think sex and boys should be thought of as a part of your holiday, but not the entire focus.  There are plenty of other things to see and do when it's just not the right moment for bars and boys.  Try a legitimate Thai massage.  Try a genuine foot massage.  Go sightseeing.  Go shopping.  Try an out of the way, unfamiliar restaurant.  Take a seat at a good location and spend some time just people watching - and don't be surprised if a young gent approaches you - and he might not even be a money boy.

We all slow down as we age.  You need to accept that as reality.  If you need a rest once in a while, don't get depressed about it.  Merely find something else to do that day and by the next day you'll probably be ok again and raring to go.

[alvnv]

A friend in the US suggested B Complex injections for fatigue/lack of energy. In long term, you could try more holistic approach: i.e. adjust your diet (vegetarian vs. vegan vs. high protein) to see how your body reacts. Sometimes, eliminating sugars or watching glycemic index helps. Mediation could also give you a boost of energy. Overall, as we age, we need to listen to our bodies more and modify our behaviors accordingly. Getting enough sleep is also important. So, if you are up all night, shorten the sightseeing to give yourself enough time to recuperate. Cuddling with LT vs. a few/couple of STs a day could do the trick and help alleviate FOMO. Most importantly, don’t feel guilty - it’s your vacation, so you should do what feels right at the moment. 

[fedssocr]

7 weeks is a long time. I think 5 weeks is the longest trip I ever took. Every trip has its ebbs and flows. You shouldn't expect every day to be full of fun and frivolity. Listen to your body. Maybe gym, and sightseeing, and the bars is just too much to expect, especially in that climate. Do you live in the tropics full time? Maybe slowing down and choosing one of those things instead of all three would be better. 

I think it's natural to attempt to pack in as much as possible if you have limited vacation time. But with 7 weeks you have plenty of time to take it easy.

I'm several years younger than you and only have a sex a few times in a trip, not in a day. I usually prefer massage places to gogo bars since I don't drink alcohol. So, don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses and do what's right for you.

[zombie]

The shame, the shame!

I used to take 5 boys a day. Nowadays down to 4 ,.Even only 3.....

😅What am I to do?!?

 

 

[floridarob]

2 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Now 6 weeks into my 7 week vacation,

The good thing about long stays...you DON'T have to do something everyday, like if you were on a 7-10 day trip. I stay in and veg, eat, MAYBE get a massage, watch TV or Youtube and recharge my batteries. Not all nights are good either....and when you feel tired, listen to your body and rest....will make the next day feel better.

[macaroni21]

I agree with fedssocr -  7 weeks is a long time. Even when I travel for non-sex reasons, I find myself getting bored by the time I hit the 5th week. One temple or cathedral blends into another; one "fabulous" scenic spot starts to look just like the other "fabulous" scenic spot. Instead of town squares looking interesting, new and exciting, I start to notice dirt, squalor, beggars and scammers.

With Thailand, since I have been here so many times, I know I will start getting bored by the 3rd week. I won't even last to the 4th or 5th week. So I keep my Thai trips to no more than 2 or 3 weeks.

Our bodies are all different, even in younger years. Once out of my teens, I have not been interested in 3 times a day. Nowadays, despite all the attractions of Thai venues, I keep to a certain discipline to avoid burn-out. Every third or fourth day is sex-free. The body needs to recharge.

I second gaybutton's advice: Try a legitimate Thai massage.  Try a genuine foot massage.  Go sightseeing.  Go shopping.  Try an out of the way, unfamiliar restaurant. I will add one more: Every third or fourth day, get  a good night's sleep.

[vaughn]

2 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Can I ask honestly,do you guys on your vacation go out every night to bars,do you take guys everyday for sex?

Did you drink alcohol everyday in the bars too?

I average 1 guy a day, sometime 2 if I get an early afternoon massage and then meet a boy at a bar at night. Some days I'll take a day off and just relax when I feel a little too tired. I'm in my 30s, fairly fit, and drink most nights on holiday but very rarely when at home.

Taking a day off to go try some restaurants, going for a quiet walk on the beach, and reading a book by the pool is never a bad day spent in my opinion.

The way I look at it is, are enjoying your holiday and are you satisfied? if you answer yes, then that's all that matters. It's not a competition, just relax and go at your own pace.

[snowglobe11]

Don’t feel disappointed, I’m less than half your age yet I get maybe a fifth of the sex during my vacations. The stamina of most of the guys here is certainly amazing, yours included.

Though I’m happily in a monogamous (*gasp*) relationship now, hence the lack of action during our last trip to Thailand, living vicariously through you guys really inspires me to continue having a sex drive when I’m older.

Moreover, even before when I was single, I could maybe do 2 rounds max, and only with one guy. 
 

Just relax champ, the purpose of your vacation is to have fun, relax and enjoy. It’s not a competition. Just listen to your body and let it all sink in.  

[Shonen]

Reading these boards will make you think everyone is having sex three times a day. It’s like listening to gamblers only bragging about their wins. 
 

     Enjoy doing other things mentioned. Just have a beer at the beach, shoot a gun, take a ride on a boat.

my vacation is long, five months. I spend half going to bars or picking up boys wherever I run into them. I picked up playing pool and I love it now. I swim and relax watching utube, studying Thai and practicing it with people I meet.

       Perhaps you’re a side, not top or bottom. I find myself in that category more now as I’m older. You don’t have to have an orgasm. When I’m with my money boy boyfriend for half my trip, he edges me several times a day, for a total of three hours of sex a day. Probably sounds strange compared to conventional sex but it works for us.

 

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, zombie said:

The shame, the shame!

I used to take 5 boys a day. Nowadays down to 4 ,.Even only 3.....

😅What am I to do?!?

 

 

Take only 2 a day ?

[scott456]

5 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

Now 6 weeks into my 7 week vacation, the last few weeks I have really slowed down ....

My suggestion: Next time, you should stay less than 6 weeks.

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, alvnv said:

Cuddling with LT vs. a few/couple of STs a day could do the trick and help alleviate FOMO. Most importantly, don’t feel guilty - it’s your vacation, so you should do what feels right at the moment. 

That's right and said wisely.

Subconsciously we are pressing ourselves     specially with paid encounters to utize our resources to a full forgetting we are there for a fun not a fuck. Getting boy into the room doesn,t have to be excessive in undressing and showering right away. Take it easy  ,    take it slow and heat will build up. If not , don t feel bad or assume you wasted your time or money. Prize being with guy above having sex with him. You may notice that he is handsome,  has nice smile and has a lot to tell you. Nice cock and round ass just rounds up experience

Your immaginary ultimate off should be hand holding session only , not three fucks overnight. With that mindframe you will find  vacationing and boy chasing more enjoyable.

The same goes with exercising or diet. Don,t torture yourself with guilt that you slept too long and missed morning dose of run or pumping iron and you had steak for breakfast instead of just water and plain toast.

Stay on your budget but don,t torture yourself with guilt of overspending - lines of credit are  there when comes to the worst.

Don,t try to keep up with Jonesses, be it hotel, restaurant or a guys. You are gold standard for yourself ,not us  ,  guys from the forum.

[macaroni21]

2 hours ago, Shonen said:

Reading these boards will make you think everyone is having sex three times a day. It’s like listening to gamblers only bragging about their wins. 

Classic selection bias. Members tend to post when they've had an encounter ( I won't say it's bragging, because quite often the post is about a dud). Nothing to write about if there wasn't an encounter.

[Vessey]

Another interesting thread Olddaddy, especially as I am even older at 68 and I am preparing for a 4 week trip in September, my longest ever. I usually do between 2 and 3 weeks, but now, almost fully retired, I have the opportunity to stay longer and wanted to see how I would cope with a longer stay both financially and physically.

I am overweight, but not obese, physically active but no gym slave. I live a celibate life alone at home and drink moderately maybe once a week. Yet get me over to Thailand and I am trying to pretend I am a 20year old again, drinking and partying most nights and shagging at least two or three times a day.  And when I first came here over ten years ago I could, and I did. But age is slowly catching up on me and, if I am being honest, I am slowing down.  And that manifests itself in my sexual activities; let me explain.

I do more threesomes, no seriously! . I am usually one of two 'tops', and although I participate, these days I am personally more of the warm-up act rather than the 'main event', and end up watching as the other top pounds the ass off the hapless twink of the night (usually my boyfriend - he loves it!).

I love oil massages and their happy endings, but now it is mostly HJs and BJs (although not always  ) and not always to orgasm, but I still love the teasing massage experience, and I love making the boys cum.

I can still fit in at least one or two short-times a day, but increasingly I am happy to bottom. The pornstar sessions of yore when I am pounding the ass of a beautiful twink in various positions to a mutually happy conclusion are becoming less and less common each trip. 

In fact if I can actually cum once a day I am more than happy. But I still absolutely love being with naked, horny, young Thai guys less than half my age even if they don't have to work quite as hard to earn their money as they did a few years ago.

And of course it is not just the sex, I am having to learn to moderate my drinking and partying. I try not to start drinking alcohol until after 10pm at night, although I am often still fairly drunk by the time my boyfriend and I make it back to the room, but now its often a case of shower and sleep rather than shower, sex and sleep. 

But although, as I get older, my holiday activities are slowly evolving, I still have an absolute blast! and look forward to my forthcoming trips with much the same excitement as I did ten years ago. 

 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

I don't know how you guys have the stamina ,at 62 my body won't let me ,I tried it the first week, went to gym in the morning , sightseeing during the day and walking, go Go bars,alcohol , discos ,then boys at night ,by the second week I was in bed a few days sick !!!

In a way im a bit depressing I can't do what I used to 15 years ago where I sort of lived to the fullest my vacation time 

 

your description of decreased sexual appetite is completely normal & extremely common.  Two suggestions 

1. Don’t fight it:  trying to do the things we did 10-15 years ago when moving into 60s is a recipe for disappointment.  Of course, slowing down happens & acceptance is the key

2. Maintain a routine that will optimize your physical/mental well-being:  plenty of quality rest/sleep, cutback on alcohol (aging reduces the body’s ability to process alcohol), get regular exercise of at 30 minutes each day (doesn’t need to be strenuous), eat a healthy vegetable heavy diet & if possible, some sort of meditation practice.  At a minimum, that type of routine will usually lift the depression you describe.

When anyone starts to say they feel “depressed” - be very careful bc it’s easy to get into an unhealthy pattern to self-medicate for those feelings.  Many turn to alcohol and/or sex - with the result of worsening the feelings of depression when the short term fixes wear off.  It can get into a cycle of depression very quick.  Exercise is the single best remedy for depression and a focus there often leads to better sleep, desire for a better diet, etc.  it’s the easiest and quickest thing to change.

Yes - sexual performance changes too as aging into 60s.  Find the things that still get you off and focus on that.  The things we were able to do 10-15 years ago might be possible some of the time, but not like before.  Appreciate when things exceed expectations and don’t beat yourself up when not performing as your younger self.

It’s all about acceptance, making adjustments & knowing that you can make changes to feel better. Surround yourself with people you enjoy & make you laugh.  That’s the best.

[Londoner]

This thread strikes a chord. And not a pleasant one. I'm in into my third week in Pattaya and am having a great time after thirty months away. Mainly thanks to the efforts of my partner, whose good humour and enjoyment have kept me smiling.

However, those thirty months of separation took their toll on me physically and mentally. I lost both my oldest friend and  then my brother, both to cancer, and this led to my relationship- my very distant relationship- with P assuming enormous significance. So this trip, on which I lavished time and money, the financial savings from  six missed journeys to Thailand , was  essential.

It has gone well but there have been issues with my stamina. Gone are the late nights; 0300 when I was a butterfly twenty years ago,  and 2300  during my nearly eighteen years involvement with P. It's now a 2100 retirement. And I'm always ready.

Also gone is my 1800 pre-dinner Singha. Until now, a highlight. A time for reflection.  Now that  one beer is, bluntly, too much for me. 

On the credit side, I've swum every day and my bedroom stamina has been excellent. 

I face the onset of old age with sadness. I was seventy- three when I was last here. Those two missed years have undoubtedly made a big difference to my routines.

However, flights and hotels (BKK, Chiang Mai and Jomtien) in November are all booked and paid for, and so I must have some life left in me. The aim is to spend what's left of my existence living as disgracefully as possible!

[emiel1981]

17 minutes ago, Londoner said:

The aim is to spend what's left of my existence living as disgracefully as possible!

Hear hear! That's the right spirit! 

[bkkmfj2648]

5 hours ago, Shonen said:

Perhaps you’re a side, not top or bottom. I find myself in that category more now as I’m older. You don’t have to have an orgasm. When I’m with my money boy boyfriend for half my trip, he edges me several times a day, for a total of three hours of sex a day. Probably sounds strange compared to conventional sex but it works for us.

Hello Shonen,

Interesting what you wrote.  You are the FIRST SIDE person that I have met here in any of the forums.

We are a hard to find sub-species within the community.  Only recently, Grindr has finally given us our own distinct sexual preference category.  For many years now with PlanetRomeo - I have been asking them to also give us the SIDE category - but they continue to be reluctant - another form of discrimination within the community.  Oh well, the struggle and fight goes forward.

Shonen - thanks for being brave to share your SIDE pleasure.  More of us need to come out of the closet in order to feel safe when we sometimes receive ridicule from the people who belong to the 3 traditional categories of Top, Versatile, and Bottom.  I believe that there is a need and space to add a 4th category to our traditional set of 3 categories.

Dr. Joe Kort's announcement about GRINDR adding SIDE as a new sexual position category

SIDE definition and anecdotes

Edited July 27, 2022 by bkkmfj2648
fix grammar error

[reader]

There's a lot of great advice in the posts above. I think as we get older we come to accept that sex is not necessarily the panacea that it seemed to be even 10-15 years ago. Sometimes less can be more for some of us. I recently spent eight weeks in Bangkok and found myself gradually cutting back my activities. I concentrated on those things that left me with pleasant and lasting memories. For me, the key was whether or not I felt energized by what I was doing.

Be forgiving of yourself. Don't think of trip as a contest. And ask yourself what you really want your time away to do for you. The answer may surprise you.

 

[zombie]

44 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

Hello Shonen,

Interesting what you wrote.  You are the FIRST SIDE person that I have met here in any of the forums.

We are a hard to find sub-species within the community.  Only recently, Grindr has finally given us our own distinct sexual preference category.  For many years now with PlanetRomeo - I have been asking them to also give us the SIDE category - but they continue to be reluctant - another form of discrimination within the community.  Oh well, the struggle and fight goes forward.

Shonen - thanks for being brave to share your SIDE pleasure.  More of us need to come out of the closet in order to feel safe when we sometimes receive ridicule from the people who belong to the 3 traditional categories of Top, Versatile, and Bottom.  I believe that there is a need and space to add a 4th category to our traditional set of 3 categories.

Dr. Joe Kort's announcement about GRINDR adding SIDE as a new sexual position category

SIDE definition and anecdotes

Nothing new here: "Side" is another way to say "No anal".

[ichigo]

This is a great topic for discussion, and something that rings true for me (and for most so it seems). I used to be in the mindset that I needed to have sex with as many guys as possible and fill up my days as much as possible during my short trips and would feel guilty if I didn't, but then I kinda thought, who am I actually trying to impress? I'm on holiday and I don't want to be stressed out. I'm a bit more chill now.

2 hours ago, Londoner said:

The aim is to spend what's left of my existence living as disgracefully as possible!

I love this! Something to definitely aspire to!

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Londoner said:

However, those thirty months of separation took their toll on me physically and mentally.

many of us are in the same boat - aging AND dealing with a once in a lifetime pandemic that has upended all of our expectations for our remaining years.  Sometimes if feels like collective PTSD from Covid, then add in all the stuff that comes along with normal aging and it can all be overwhelming. No surprise many people are feeling depressed given the circumstances.  

The best remedy for me was to begin a return to normal life with frequent travel as I had planned before retirement.  The actual travel experience is different, but the feeling of getting back out into the world and living life has completely changed my outlook.  

[floridarob]

10 hours ago, Shonen said:

 Enjoy doing other things mentioned. Just have a beer at the beach, shoot a gun,

I guess we all relax in different ways, lol

[gerefan]

13 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

 

I don't know how you guys have the stamina ,at 62 my body won't let me ,I tried it the first week, went to gym in the morning , sightseeing during the day and walking, go Go bars,alcohol , discos ,then boys at night ,by the second week I was in bed a few days sick !!!

Look to be honest with you guys,I would never do such a long vacation again,7 weeks is just far too long!

 

 

 .

 

 

Having read your first sentence above I think you have simply overdone it.

Gym in the morning followed by walking during the day and then night time activities! Bet you don’t do that at home! No wonder you are knackered!!

7 weeks is not a long holiday. Many of us go to Thailand to escape the UK winter and stay 3 or 4 months. I do and have done so for about 18 years. I’m 75 next birthday.

I treat it as “living” there. Go out and party when I feel like it and stay out as long as I like. I don’t restrict the alcohol much but I do take take time off.

On my off days I stay in the room and no nothing much, although I do go for an hours walk every day. Sometimes I spend 3 days “off” in a row.

Just dont over do it!!