Apologies to the Group

[joizy]

On 7/25/2022 at 12:33 AM, xpaulo said:

I don't think accepting that kind of crap should be the price of admission to be gay and it's sad some people think it is.

At first I thought that people don’t understand the impact they are having and that their words can be hurtful. But now I think for the trolls, that is their intent. They want to cause pain. I’m sorry you had this experience. There are some good guys here. Several have written me privately and don’t post publicly because of the trolls.

[joizy]

23 hours ago, RockHardNYC said:

I actually got my troll-training over at Hooboy's, many, many years ago. In researching male escort forums (I once thought of competing with Hooboy), I spent many hours studying the disease of trolldom. Their poorly written TOS actually encouraged trolling. Either Hooboy, or someone else who had his ear, actually thought it was a good idea to encourage escorts to join with multiple usernames. That way, if an escort wanted to say something controversial (or cause trouble), it wouldn't affect his business. IMO, it was a seriously stupid and misguided theory, and my professional criticisms seemed to fall on deaf ears (at least in the beginning).

There was an old-fashioned mindset over at Hooboy's where certain people believed you had to coddle the evil 70's queens. Thank goodness many of those folk have died, and behaviors have changed.

Very few places on the internet can afford to do what the NY Times does: subscriber's comments get monitored first before they are published. I contribute on their board, and IMO, it's one of the best, most civil boards on the internet, in total tolerance of harsh, brutal criticism. And I love their "editor likes" feature, a major selling point for users. 

Other boards can afford to pay their moderators. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of time and talent to "manage" personalities. People love to say that we're all adults and should know how to behave, but let's get real. A sick, unhappy queen doesn't behave like anything normal.

Many boards rely on self-moderation, and they find a way to make that work. It's not easy to find reliable people to do a free job. I would pity the pour volunteer who attempts to control me. LOL.

Good points. This is my first time encountering this behavior. They got me as soon as I joined and I gave them the reaction they wanted. Stupid on my part, now I know. 
 

i was reading a thread you started and the troll went on for like 6 pages. But mostly you kept quiet. He said some of the most vile things. No one else in the discussion called him out.

i appreciate those who have told me to stop engaging (though they ignore the troll). All of this points to the importance of bystanders. If this forum is unmoderated, then it’s up to us to try to keep it civil.

i truly regret engaging, especially out of anger. From now on, I will rarely post, and when I do, it will be with the intent to make a positive contribution.

[joizy]

On 7/24/2022 at 10:28 PM, PeterRS said:

 Each time, I got really pissed off. I hope I have grown up since then.

It’s a learning experience for sure. They thrive on reactions. Starve them and hopefully they will go away.

[RockHardNYC]

10 minutes ago, joizy said:

i was reading a thread you started and the troll went on for like 6 pages. But mostly you kept quiet. He said some of the most vile things. No one else in the discussion called him out.

I was quiet by default. I was traveling in Europe when I made the first post, and most of my readers know I don't read this board when I travel. If you look at the post dates, you can see long lapses between my posts. I was gone for awhile. Plus, all the photos have been deleted. Those threads are impossible to follow now.

As for "calling out," not many sane gays wish to engage with a true TROLL, and rightfully so. That one was particularly ill, so a lot of members ignored her. She was a sick puppy who thought she owned me. LOL. I suspect her mental illness got the best of her.

If you hang on boards like these long enough, eventually, everyone will be accused of being a troll. Internet strangers have been calling me a troll for decades. Ask me if I give a shit?

 

[maump]

On 7/25/2022 at 11:28 AM, RockHardNYC said:

I actually got my troll-training over at Hooboy's, many, many years ago. I

LOL.

I miss Hooboy's  probably did 10+ reviews... in the 90s