Quick question: Boy insists money before sex

[Min]

I have a boy coming over but he insists that I give him money upon arrival (before sex). Is that normal or the boy might be up to something I don't know about?

In Vietnam, this kind of thing happened to several of my friends: the boy took money and just ran away (before they set off for a short-time hotel). Or they went to the hotel together, but then the boy took off while the poor customer was in the shower.

[reader]

The long is no, do not pay anything in advance.

 I’ve been asked a few times to tip in advance and always refuse.

 

[Londoner]

Not the Thai way.....that isn't the way the game is played. Take care. An app guy?  

[Min]

15 minutes ago, Londoner said:

Not the Thai way.....that isn't the way the game is played. Take care. An app guy?  

Yep. And he said he's Thai, who just joined the app yesterday. Could be a newbie (19 years old) or a new nick.

[zombie]

It is not normal. Possibly the boy had a bad experience when a cutomer did not pay him after sex.

But that is not your problem.

And anyway maybe he perfomed badly with another customer and non payment or lesser payment was justified.

Leaving payment to the end is an incentive for the boy to do well; paying up front is the opposite.

 

 

[Guest]

For me, RULE #1 is NEVER PAY IN ADVANCE.   

When I foolishly tried it once, in Europe, years ago, the result was very predictable.   After he refused to do anything, I used force to get a refund.  This is probably not a good idea.

Paying in advance, there a very high risk of parting with your money for no service and also it's generally a bad sign if the service provider is dictating terms to the client.

My advice is to cancel the appointment if he insists upon payment in advance.

 

[jason1975]

Maybe meet in middle? Give half payment first?

[anddy]

1 hour ago, Min said:

Yep. And he said he's Thai, who just joined the app yesterday. Could be a newbie (19 years old) or a new nick.

joining the app just yesterday rings yet another alarm bell. DO NOT DO IT. 

[jason1975]

19 minutes ago, anddy said:

joining the app just yesterday rings yet another alarm bell. DO NOT DO IT. 

Good advice.

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, Londoner said:

Not the Thai way.....that isn't the way the game is played. Take care. An app guy?  

I'm joining long chorus above with the same advice, it's not  a way things are done in Thailand although  when I was whoring locally where I live it was standard practice here.

I was never in 22 trips asked to advance payment by the boy. Only massage places sometimes are asking for payment for massage up front but that's it.

I had a case when mid long time boy asked me for advance partial payment as he was hungry and wanted to go to buy something to eat. I gave him half of negotiated fee hoping he will not show up at all as he smelled like an ashtray up close but after about 1 hr he disappointed me by knocking into door. But he was a gentleman and himself suggested I reduce his final payment because he left me for so long.

It's not to say I did not pay in advance there. When with the guy offed previously  often I put money on the table saying it's for you in the morning but it never resulted in any reduction in services and time - who would risk losing such generous and charming client anyways, LOL

[Guest]

43 minutes ago, vinapu said:

It's not to say I did not pay in advance there. When with the guy offed previously  often I put money on the table saying it's for you in the morning but it never resulted in any reduction in services and time - who would risk losing such generous and charming client anyways, LOL

You offering to pay a proven "repeat off" in advance, is of course very different to an unknown guy demanding money in advance.

The moment the service provider is the one asking for payment in advance, alarm bells should be ringing.

 

I also definitely wouldn't even pay 50% in advance.     Why bother when there are so many other lads out there ?     

Also, if meeting an unknown app boy, I make it clear that he only gets paid if he does what he says and it therefore follows that this is payment after the event. That always results in satisfactory to very good service and full payment.   Probably because the scammers terminate the conversation once they hear they really have to keep promises to get paid. 

On the other hand, offering to pay in advance will really attract the scammers.

 

The opening post even contains a good explanation of what's likely to happen if you pay in advance.  

4 hours ago, Min said:

In Vietnam, this kind of thing happened to several of my friends: the boy took money and just ran away (before they set off for a short-time hotel). Or they went to the hotel together, but then the boy took off while the poor customer was in the shower.

 

 

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, z909 said:

  Why bother when there are so many other lads out there ?     

 

yes  , but our heartbeat increases only by looking at few ( not to advocate early payment  of course )

 

[Min]

As a follow-up, even though I thought about giving the boy the benefit of the doubt and that he asked for payment in advance just for fear of being cheated, I heeded your advice and moved on to the next boy, who is 19 years old, from Isan, in Bangkok to study (he told me). He used to work part-time in a restaurant, lost his job due to Covid, never worked in a boy bar before.

We chatted on Grindr, he seems nice and very accommodating, answering all the questions without attitude. Asked for 2000 then agreed with 1500. So I told him to come to my hotel. I didn't know that at that point @jason1975 was doing more or less the same thing, in the same hotel (just different floor). I got lazy so I copied his narration  

Anyway, I could tell that the boy was really into me. He was all over me the moment I closed the door. He kept giggling and holding my face with both hands, saying "you are nice". After sex, we cuddled a little and a couple of times I tried to get up (it was time for me to hit the gym), he held me back for a few more minutes. When I gave him the money (the agreed amount + 200B for travel), he said in his broken English: "I like you but not as customer" hehe, so we are like brothers with benefits now? All in all, a happy ending.

[Min]

By the way, if you guys visit Vietnam and use MBs, you may wanna know about a different but related kind of situation especially when you get a boy through a mediator, a pimping service. 

Many of those online pimps just scout the apps, looking for any boys who advertise themselves as MB (in Vietnam, we usually use the term call boy or cb instead), then create their own list of "models". As a result, the same boy may appear in multiple lists advertised by different pimps. In many cases, the pimps know next to nothing about their boys and can't answer your questions about the boy's sexual orientation, whether he looks like his pictures, what he would or would not do in bed, etc. 

Worse still, they also jack up the price quite a bit (for example, if you deal directly with the boy, he may ask for somewhere between 500K and 1 mil VND short time, about 700-1500B or 22-45 USD. Through a pimp, that would become 1-1.5 mil VND (and if they know that you are foreigners, they may quote the price in USD for even more money, so feel free to haggle). The more a pimp can charge you, the more commission he gets (30% of what the boy gets from you). Different pimps may quote you different prices for the same boy.

One MB in Ho Chi Minh City told me his story. He got a customer (a Vietnamese overseas) through a pimp and travelled all the way to meet the customer in his centrally-located hotel. The agreed price is 1.2 mil (which means the pimp's cut is 400K). However, the customer, for whatever reasons, changed his mind and didn't want sex. He offered the boy 500K for "meeting and chatting".

The boy told me: he had to give the pimp his cut of 400K no matter what, and the remaining 100K wasn't even enough to cover his two-way taxi fare. So he insisted the customer pay the agreed amount because a deal was a deal. When the customer refused, you know what the boy did?

Right there in the middle of the hotel lobby, he (kinda small-built) jumped on the guy (tall and big) and screamed in Vietnamese. I need a moment think how I should translate this into English...

"Everyone, this jerk's trying to stiff a whore! This jerk's trying to stiff a whore!" (that's how we make a scene in Vietnam).

You probably know the ending right? The customer paid up and the boy left, but damages already done.

[jason1975]

35 minutes ago, Min said:

As a follow-up, even though I thought about giving the boy the benefit of the doubt and that he asked for payment in advance just for fear of being cheated, I heeded your advice and moved on to the next boy, who is 19 years old, from Isan, in Bangkok to study (he told me). He used to work part-time in a restaurant, lost his job due to Covid, never worked in a boy bar before.

We chatted on Grindr, he seems nice and very accommodating, answering all the questions without attitude. Asked for 2000 then agreed with 1500. So I told him to come to my hotel. I didn't know that at that point @jason1975 was doing more or less the same thing, in the same hotel (just different floor). I got lazy so I copied his narration  

Anyway, I could tell that the boy was really into me. He was all over me the moment I closed the door. He kept giggling and holding my face with both hands, saying "you are nice". After sex, we cuddled a little and a couple of times I tried to get up (it was time for me to hit the gym), he held me back for a few more minutes. When I gave him the money (the agreed amount + 200B for travel), he said in his broken English: "I like you but not as customer" hehe, so we are like brothers with benefits now? All in all, a happy ending.

Glad you had luck with app and boy!

[Min]

16 minutes ago, jason1975 said:

Glad you had luck with app and boy!

Indeed on my last trip, I had had much better luck with app boys than the bar ones. The two boys I offed from bar look great but total dud in bed. The boy in the above post is my second best, and my best is a boy from Chiangmai, who stopped in Bangkok just for one night on his way home. He stayed in Quarter in Soil 6 a few hundreds meters from my own hotel, so we kinda "ran into" each other on Hornet. He only asked for 1000 so there was no haggling. Since he's so close, I asked to meet him in person and he, not just met, but took me directly to his room. I didn't expect this, nor did I expect the sex would be so... inspiring in a so tiny room  It all happened less than 30 min from the point we started chatting.

I asked him when he would leave Bangkok, thinking for an immediate repeat the next day (I rarely do this) but he said he will fly out early the next morning. Since he said the Quarter room cost him 1500, I gave him all the pocket money I had on me at that point (1800B). I walked from my hotel to his in my shorts, sleeveless T-shirt, slippers, bringing no wallet, condoms or lubes, thinking I would just see if he really looks like his picture     

[jason1975]

4 minutes ago, Min said:

I asked him when he would leave Bangkok, thinking for an immediate repeat the next day (I rarely do this) but he said he will fly out early the next morning. Since he said the Quarter room cost him 1500, I gave him all the pocket money I had on me at that point (1800B). I walked from my hotel to his in my shorts, sleeveless T-shirt, slippers, bringing no wallet, condoms or lubes, thinking I would just see if he really looks like his picture     

You have a kind heart!

[spoon]

3 hours ago, Min said:

"I like you but not as customer

That means he is claiming you as his bf i think? Lol can be a good or bad, depends on what you are looking for.

[spoon]

3 hours ago, Min said:

By the way, if you guys visit Vietnam and use MBs, you may wanna know about a different but related kind of situation especially when you get a boy through a mediator, a pimping service. 

Many of those online pimps just scout the apps, looking for any boys who advertise themselves as MB (in Vietnam, we usually use the term call boy or cb instead), then create their own list of "models". As a result, the same boy may appear in multiple lists advertised by different pimps. In many cases, the pimps know next to nothing about their boys and can't answer your questions about the boy's sexual orientation, whether he looks like his pictures, what he would or would not do in bed, etc. 

Worse still, they also jack up the price quite a bit (for example, if you deal directly with the boy, he may ask for somewhere between 500K and 1 mil VND short time, about 700-1500B or 22-45 USD. Through a pimp, that would become 1-1.5 mil VND (and if they know that you are foreigners, they may quote the price in USD for even more money, so feel free to haggle). The more a pimp can charge you, the more commission he gets (30% of what the boy gets from you). Different pimps may quote you different prices for the same boy.

One MB in Ho Chi Minh City told me his story. He got a customer (a Vietnamese overseas) through a pimp and travelled all the way to meet the customer in his centrally-located hotel. The agreed price is 1.2 mil (which means the pimp's cut is 400K). However, the customer, for whatever reasons, changed his mind and didn't want sex. He offered the boy 500K for "meeting and chatting".

The boy told me: he had to give the pimp his cut of 400K no matter what, and the remaining 100K wasn't even enough to cover his two-way taxi fare. So he insisted the customer pay the agreed amount because a deal was a deal. When the customer refused, you know what the boy did?

Right there in the middle of the hotel lobby, he (kinda small-built) jumped on the guy (tall and big) and screamed in Vietnamese. I need a moment think how I should translate this into English...

"Everyone, this jerk's trying to stiff a whore! This jerk's trying to stiff a whore!" (that's how we make a scene in Vietnam).

You probably know the ending right? The customer paid up and the boy left, but damages already done.

Good for the boy who brave enough to stand for his right. A deal is a deal. Both party, boy and client should deliver their part of the deal unless one party didnt deliver. Although, since we didnt here from the client's side, i cant really say who is in the right. But i wouldnt want to be in that situation as well, and will just pay up to avoid trouble and put it as a price of learning experience.

[Min]

7 hours ago, jason1975 said:

You have a kind heart!

I just think it was fair. He did a much better job than some bar boys for whose services I spent 3000+ (bar drink + boy drink + bar fine + boy fee)

5 hours ago, spoon said:

That means he is claiming you as his bf i think? Lol can be a good or bad, depends on what you are looking for.

Bf after just one encounter and a few thousands baht?  Anyway, I'm not looking for any kinds of long-term relationship with Thai boys. I don't even do LTs. But If the chemistry helps make our encounters more worthwhile, I certainly appreciate it.

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Min said:

By the way, if you guys visit Vietnam and use MBs, you may wanna know about a different but related kind of situation especially when you get a boy through a mediator, a pimping service.

Thanks for the advice.   I'd rather pay the boy all the money, not some pimp.

Also, I believe in keeping promises and that should work both ways.   So if it's the customer who decides he no longer wants to keep the deal and the boy still looks like his pictures etc, the customer should still pay up after the boy has travelled.

[spoon]

14 minutes ago, Min said:

Anyway, I'm not looking for any kinds of long-term relationship with Thai boys. I don't even do LTs

Haha. Ive heard few cases of jealous boys making a scene before. But you are right, 1 meet wont escalate to that so soon. Cases ive heard are those with multiple off.

[Min]

25 minutes ago, z909 said:

Thanks for the advice.   I'd rather pay the boy all the money, not some pimp.

Also, I believe in keeping promises and that should work both ways.   So if it's the customer who decides he no longer wants to keep the deal and the boy still looks like his pictures etc, the customer should still pay up after the boy has travelled.

I can confirm that the boy in question does look like his pictures, very cute in person as well, and can also do massage quite professionally. I used his service and was happy.

Usually, I follow some pimps to see pictures of the boys and then just do the opposite: scout the apps for familiar faces  You also need to know where to put your location while searching. In Hanoi, for example, search the old quarter or Hoan Kiem lake. In Ho Chi Minh city, District 1 (the actual city center, especially the Bui Vien area which we call phố tây - street for foreigners) or District 10 (the de factor gay service center with a lot of gay massage parlors and saunas located there)

[Tartegogo]

3 hours ago, Min said:

.... or District 10 (the de factor gay service center with a lot of gay massage parlors and saunas located there)

 

District 10 is huge on google maps; do you mean more specifically the area around Nam Spa? https://g.page/namspa?share

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, z909 said:

Thanks for the advice.   I'd rather pay the boy all the money, not some pimp.

Also, I believe in keeping promises and that should work both ways.   So if it's the customer who decides he no longer wants to keep the deal and the boy still looks like his pictures etc, the customer should still pay up after the boy has travelled.

+1