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Olddaddy

Cruising

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Slvkguy said:

some guys consistently chase the unattainable or impossible for a variety of reason.  it’s common pattern among gay men

It’s safe to say it’s not healthy & probably results in unsatisfactory long-term outcomes.  Unless the chaser is prepared for the inevitable 

not my idea of a good time, everyone is different  

 

I would argue that this approach awakens the hunter gatherer in us from our jurassic prehistoric man period.

I also had this behaviour, let's call it a "type of sport".  then earlier in life, I dedicated 5 years to therapy (psychoanalysis) to try to understand my need for this exciting but endless hunt.  I learned that it is partly due to the "fear of commitment", so we "hunt" which cannot lead to a committed relationship.  I am not saying that is what may be going on with the OG of this post - but it is what I learned about myself.

Do I still hunt straight guys?  Yes, but way less than before - as I am now aware of what @Slvkguy wrote, "chaser is prepared for the inevitable" - so I now do it more for entertainment purposes.  And after 5 years of therapy - I am also able to maintain a relationship - but as I write this I am currently single - and content and happy.

Posted
15 minutes ago, bkkmfj2648 said:

life, I dedicated 5 years to therapy (psychoanalysis) to try to understand my need for this exciting but endless hunt.  I learned that it is partly due to the "fear of commitment", so we "hunt" which cannot lead to a committed relationship

this is what it’s about: self-reflection & doing the work necessary to overcome things that don’t serve us well.

many of us carry trauma from being invalidated, shamed, bullied as young gay boys.  while things are improving for gay youth, when most of us were young, it was beyond brutal. It can be difficult to recognize and address these issues as adults. And you’re right - this may not be the issue w OP.  

I’m happy to hear that you are in a good place.

chasing hot straight guys occasionally can be fun & exciting (hello - I LOVE GP saunas) - but, setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointments is another thing entirely.

Posted
45 minutes ago, Slvkguy said:

some guys consistently chase the unattainable or impossible for a variety of reason.  

 

as they say if something is impossible find a person who doesn't know it and he / she will do it

Posted
11 hours ago, spoon said:

He went from weeks chasing an impossible guy to 10min in toilet hahaha. Id say thats covers everything. He has graduated cruising 101.

To be honest, I haven't moved on from that guy.. I still bought food from him one time, gave him 100 and he gave me a cute shocked look 😌

 

I still greet him whenever I pass by but I try to avoid eye contact with him as much as possible.

 

Project # 2, which is this cute cook in Amarin is still no progress though I gave him 100 tip twice already which could have been quite weird for him since you dont really use cash to pay in Amarin food court. I have no game plan with this guy in all honesty.

 

The whole gogo bar and massage shops have grown on me already. It's just so easy. You go to bar, check if someone's your type and you just pay to bang. The idea of guys doing it with 10000 other customers kills the fun for me too.

 

Cruising (for straight guys) is the complete opposite. It can be very challenging and entertaining. But it is also very tiring (you have to walk a lot to scout for cute guys lol) and can be very disappointing. 

But I enjoy it. I enjoy walking around looking for cute guys. Gives me motivation to learn Thai too. 

 

I am also quite surprised that not a lot forumers here are into cruising (and into straight guys). In another gay forum I was in, this topic is even granulated into cruising for basketball players, models, celebrities, drivers, construction workers, etc..

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