Cruising

[spoon]

I had my experience chasing a guy who know the scene but not into it. My first visit, i barely talk to him but visited the beach area where he work as chair attendance few times. 

Second visits a year or so later, i managed to break the ice, with the help of a host bar boy, who also agree with me that the guy is hot lol. He volunteer to be my wingman, since the guy i have hots for are from the same country as he is. Long story short, we managed to bring him to dinner and gogo bar visits lol. After that, i also arrange a movie night, this time only two of us. 

But it was still very innocent, and i really dont know how to move further hahaha. Im afraid if i want to do more, he refuse and subsequent meeting will be awkward.

[vinapu]

in short,  it looks there's no prescription how to tackle the issue and approach needs to be done on individual basis observing reaction for every step, but chasing  can be fun. 

We should not assume that everybody is for sale but also understand that Thai's approach to sex is much less uptight  and for right money or even just for fun options may be there.

Years ago at Raya it was actually employee in the breakfast room who seemed interested in me seeing me breakfasting with different guys daily , we exchanged smiles and winks but when I finally braved to ask him  if we can meet together, he said, 'no,  I'm just jocking" , so he played me that time for a change

[chum_soccer]

On 6/9/2022 at 1:50 PM, chum_soccer said:

So I've just started my cruising for straight guys last Sunday..

 

Project # 1 is a straight street vendor whom I always see whenever I play sports every Wednesday Saturday and Sunday. He is a bit lanky but with some traces of muscles. Pointed nose. He always caught my eye whenever I passed by his kiosk and I remember him smiling at me once when I passed by. I am about 95% sure that he is straight.

 

Last Sunday, I decided to make my first move. I ordered what he is selling with my basic thai. My Thai is super limited but I still tried to make some small talk and ask him if its spicy or if it has pork or chicken, etc. He then said that it is a Myanmar food and that most of his customers are Burmese and that he is Burmese too. Whole time he was just smiling probably laughing at my Thai deep inside..

What he is selling is like a coleslaw without mayonaise but with peanuts in it. I said to him that I will eat it at home. I tried it at home but was not a fan of it.

Yesternight, I saw him around 22:00pm. He was already packing up. My mistake was that I ordered Bolt Bike so I was not going to be able to pass by his kiosk. I was going to stand beside his kiosk and wait for the Bolt Bike there but I didnt want to give him any idea that I am into him just yet.

Next plan is to order more from him again this Saturday and tell him I liked it and that it is delicious. Then on Sunday, I will order again and will tell him to keep the change as a tip. Food he is selling is just 20 THB so I am planning to give him 100 and order two so that he can keep the 60 THB change. I wanna keep it subtle first.

Then on Wednesday when I see him again packing up at night.. I will try to ask him if he can deliver to my house so that I can get his Line..

 

My primary goal is to get him on bed but I wanna take it slow and enjoy the ride haha..

 

I will keep you guys updated over the weekend if you guys are interested

 

 

 

Update:

So last Friday, I pretended I was going to play sports so that I can see my street food vendor <3.. It was already around 9pm and decided I was going to eat it right there.. 

Ohh boy.. Food was a bit hard for me to finish but tried my best to show him that I liked it. Eventually, I gave up and decided to just take it home. So I asked him to put it in a takeaway bag and ordered another one..

 

Saturday, he wasn't there so it was a bummer. Sunday, I greeted him with Sawatdee krup as I walked past his kiosk on my way to playing sports. After playing, I went to his kiosk but he wasn't there so I went back to the sports center and waited there hoping he will come back in a few minutes.

 

After 10 minutes, went back to his kiosk but it was still unmanned so I just walked around the area for another 30 minutes but still he wasn't there.

Finally, I just decided to have a drink with some friends around the area. Around 9pm, I walked past his kiosk but still, he was not there

I didn't wanna go home empty handed, so I went back to the sports center, watched some games for a few minutes then walked back to his kiosk and VOILA! He is there, sweeping the pavement just a few meters from his kiosk.

I asked "mi mai?" or "do you have?" in english and he replied enthusiastically, "mi.. mi" or "have.. have.."..

Long story short, I ordered two which is 40THB in total but gave him 100 and told him keep the change but he was like "No.. no.." I just replied "Mai bpen rai" or "Don't worry about it"..

 

I also got his Line haha!! He is soo cute in his profile picture. He seems to be or have been a cook in another slightly bigger food kiosk.. I sent him a picture of what I ordered from him, already emptied out .. then he replied with a picture of chilis .. not sure if he is teasing me because I would always complain that his food is spicy and he always would get surprised cause its prolly not that spicy for him..

Sent him a picture of a Burmese restaurant and asked him if its any good and he just replied with "dont know" and "i havent tried"..

 

This is probably too slow for most forumers here but it brings back the same excitement you feel seeing or interacting with your crush back in high school 😅

 

Next goal is to invite him to a drink but I would probably just stick to ordering and making small talks with him this week just to make him a little more comfortable with me.

[spoon]

Start asking his day off. Ask him what he usually do on his day offf. Then ask what he wanted to do for fun lol. That could be a leading question to invite him for a drink in case his answer is he likes to drink hahaha. 

11 hours ago, chum_soccer said:

Next goal is to invite him to a drink

 

[vinapu]

spoon is a genius, listen to his advice.  Asking for day off is sooo telling

[JackR]

I'm actually loving this thread. Wish you luck with the food vendor, Chum. I feel this so much haha.

[chum_soccer]

So I played sports again last night and saw him on my way to the sports center.. He smiled at me and I just smiled back and greeted him with a salute hahaha.. I am still playing it cool and still pretending to be a hetero but I was all smiles on my way to the sports center haha that def improved my mood and made me feel like in highschool again

 

After sports around 10pm, I passed by his kiosk and asked him "mi mai?" or "do you still have?"? in english and he just replied in english "sorry, all finished".. I didn't make any further move as I still didn't want to think I am into him..

 

So now here is the dilemma, I want to invite him to drink over the weekend but I just dont wanna message him in line and ask if he is free this weekend.. Remember, I am still acting straight around him and straight guys dont just invite another straight guy they have just known for a drink right away..

 

I am def enjoying the feeling it gives me but sometimes, I feel like it is too slow haha but I dont want to rush it neither and risk getting rejected.

 

 

[chum_soccer]

On 6/14/2022 at 10:35 PM, spoon said:

Start asking his day off. Ask him what he usually do on his day offf. Then ask what he wanted to do for fun lol. That could be a leading question to invite him for a drink in case his answer is he likes to drink hahaha. 

 

I want too soo much but I dont know.. I think this is too straight forward.. I mean this would be my approach to any other guys but this is not just any other guy .. i love him already hahahaha

[spoon]

49 minutes ago, chum_soccer said:

I want too soo much but I dont know.. I think this is too straight forward.. I mean this would be my approach to any other guys but this is not just any other guy .. i love him already hahahaha

Lol i totally understand. I guess what u need now is a wing man who can take off the pressure. A hang out between 3 guys is less direct than say 2 person drinking in a bar

[chum_soccer]

Just an update.. project # 1 is a failure..

I invited him to go on a burmese bar last friday but he just seen zoned me  I tried again last saturday and offered to give a good tip and just sent me a sticker.. then I messaged him again with a sad emoticon and he sent me a voice message in thai.. It was like "I have no time krub.. I have work in the morning and have to work until night.. I have no time..".. His tone was very apologetic and he sounded sooo sweet ughhh.. That made it even harder for me to move on.. 

 

So I finally admitted that I think he is cute but he just seen zoned me again :(.. So earlier I was had to play sports and on my way home when I was a few meters from his kiosk.. He seemed like he was glancing towards my direction as if he is checking me if I was going to pass by his kiosk.. The ladies at the kiosk across called his name as if to warn him that I was about to pass by..

 

When I passed by, he had a customer but he kept glancing towards the direction where I was.. I think he was just pretending he was looking for something just to avoid me

 

I know that this game is lost already and I have to move on and respect his decision but I'd like to hear what you guys think? Should I try another approach? 

 

Also, I have project # 2 which is a waiter/cook in Amarin Plaza foodcourt haha I haven't made any move yet but I'd like to hear some ideas on how to approach this guy.. Should I act cool and straight first just to not scare him? Or should I leave some hints already that I like him? Amarin Plaza is going to be closed for renovation in two weeks so I kinda need to move fast here haja

[paulsf]

When he says No and you keep pursuing, when does it turn into harassment? 

[spoon]

Id say move on. Since u have a new target, focus on that. To be honest, if u dont have much time, direct approach might be better. If not acting now means not getting anywhere anyway, might as well rip off the band-aid and see. U miss 100% of the shots u don't take. If u want to go slow early on, u will need to be direct in 2 weeks anyway hehe.

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, paulsf said:

When he says No and you keep pursuing, when does it turn into harassment? 

right after second NO I'd say

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, chum_soccer said:

I know that this game is lost already and I have to move on and respect his decision but I'd like to hear what you guys think? Should I try another approach? 

 

Also, I have project # 2 which is a waiter/cook in Amarin Plaza foodcourt haha I haven't made any move yet but I'd like to hear some ideas on how to approach this guy.. Should I act cool and straight first just to not scare him? Or should I leave some hints already that I like him? 

# 1 leave him alone but if you happen to pass by do not pretend you don't know him, just act normal, smile, buy food and move on. If you hear from him in the future , be straightforward with what you are looking for 

# 2 first meeting act cool , straight but smiley-friendly, 2nd attempt , day or two later, don't waste time and hint him you like him.

[Olddaddy]

He sounds sadly to say ..he is not interested.

Maybe he is not gay .

I wouldn't pursue it further,as Paul says it becomes harassment

[chum_soccer]

12 hours ago, vinapu said:

# 1 leave him alone but if you happen to pass by do not pretend you don't know him, just act normal, smile, buy food and move on. If you hear from him in the future , be straightforward with what you are looking for 

# 2 first meeting act cool , straight but smiley-friendly, 2nd attempt , day or two later, don't waste time and hint him you like him.

Thank you guys   paulsf's comment kind of opened my eyes.. I don't wanna harass him..

 

And yes, I will still continue to smile and act friendly towards him whenever I pass by.. 

 

You guys know a good soi or place in Bangkok to cruise for straight guys? Preferably, with local muay thai fighters or street vendors ..

 

I am going to try my luck with a local gym in pratunam later.. 

[reader]

1 hour ago, chum_soccer said:

You guys know a good soi or place in Bangkok to cruise for straight guys? Preferably, with local muay thai fighters or street vendors

You may have better luck if you widen your search a bit. If you did, my answer would be (1) Silom Road and (2) Surawong Road. The methodology is incredibly simple: scan for passing eye contact. 
 

Since long before Stonewall, gay men have been meeting other men mostly by eye contact. It’s brief but let’s you know there’s interest. It may well be a MB emitting what we now call gaydar. He’s essentially “pinging” us as we are “pinging” him. 
 

Last time I was pinged was last night about 9:45  when I was walking with a friend on Silom near Burger King. Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere it really boosts your spirits. 
 

You may not find your Thai boxer but a chance encounter can be a lot less time consuming and possibly exciting.

[Londoner]

14 hours ago, vinapu said:

right after second NO I'd say

Coincidentally, I was on a London Underground train yesterday. Opposite me was a sign that said , in effect, "Staring can be a form of sexual harassment. Don't do it"

Makes sense.

 

[reader]

Thankfully the same rules of engagement don’t apply in BKK 😊

[chum_soccer]

1 hour ago, reader said:

You may have better luck if you widen your search a bit. If you did, my answer would be (1) Silom Road and (2) Surawong Road. The methodology is incredibly simple: scan for passing eye contact. 
 

Since long before Stonewall, gay men have been meeting other men mostly by eye contact. It’s brief but let’s you know there’s interest. It may well be a MB emitting what we now call gaydar. He’s essentially “pinging” us as we are “pinging” him. 
 

Last time I was pinged was last night about 9:45  when I was walking with a friend on Silom near Burger King. Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere it really boosts your spirits. 
 

You may not find your Thai boxer but a chance encounter can be a lot less time consuming and possibly exciting.

Thank you for this .. Thing is I am not really attracted with our kind.. I prefer straight guys much more, those who don't do it for a living or hasn't even done it yet..

 

While it may seem that I am looking for a unicorn, I've had tons of success back from where I was from (another SEA country).. I was actually surprised that there were even guys who I never for the life of me thought would agree but still I was able to make say yes.  

[reader]

Trust me. Some of the guys who ping you aren’t necessarily gay; they’re self-employed business men.

[vinapu]

5 hours ago, Londoner said:

Coincidentally, I was on a London Underground train yesterday. Opposite me was a sign that said , in effect, "Staring can be a form of sexual harassment. Don't do it"

 

scary stuff

[vinapu]

8 hours ago, Olddaddy said:

He sounds sadly to say ..he is not interested.

Maybe he is not gay .

 

even if one is  doesn't meant he will be interested in any men, we all have own preferences. Sometimes we even don't realize what makes us tickling, it could be ass or bulge as much as elbow or earlobe

[Boy69]

It's beyond my understanding to chase straight guys whom are not interested in dating gay falang and even if they finally agree they are clearly playing 'gay for pay' role and are not enjoying it. 

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, Boy69 said:

It's beyond my understanding to chase straight guys whom are not interested in dating gay falang and even if they finally agree they are clearly playing 'gay for pay' role and are not enjoying it.

some guys consistently chase the unattainable or impossible for a variety of reason.  it’s common pattern among gay men

It’s safe to say it’s not healthy & probably results in unsatisfactory long-term outcomes.  Unless the chaser is prepared for the inevitable 

not my idea of a good time, everyone is different