Dying is the last thing you do

[vinapu]

1 hour ago, CurtisD said:

 

Short of doing something so awesome that it will be remembered down the ages (not much chance for most of us), our best hope is to have people we have helped during our lives, friends, and family in whose hearts a fond memory lingers for a few decades.  

You are right, cruel as it is it takes max 3 generations until we are completely forgotten like we never existed. we know plenty about our parents, quite a bit about grandparents, very little about great-grandparents if anything at all and honestly that where abyss starts . Very few people know  who their great-grandparents were and when and where they were buried.

[NIrishGuy]

17 hours ago, a-447 said:

I have some "friends" in Thailand who will benefit substantially. However, just how much they will receive is problematic.

I know you were asking more there as to should it be a large or small amount etc however my solicitor offered me a great piece of advice when he and I were discussing that same topic. I was fumbling about over "how much money to leave" someone / everyone and found I couldn't come to an agreed number very easily.   His advice was to stop thinking about how much MONEY I would be leaving them but to think instead of how much of a percentage of my final "pot" from me assets I would like to leave them.    

That he said usually made it feel less of a personal slant if it ended up (perhaps unintentionally) more or less that someone else may have received ( thinking family members there perhaps) but was also a big plus point ( for HIM and me) in that I wouldn't need to keep reviewing my will as my assets changed over my lifetime as my beneficiaries would always be getting the same 5% / 10% or whatever of just WHATEVER the final pot was. Plus he pointed out that in doing so it kept things nice and easy for me but ALSO for HIM to administer my estate and that would then reduce his workload and so his fees too  - we all know of course that last part will NEVER happen after I'm gone and his calculating his final invoice !).

I'm leaning towards doing my damnedest to spend the lot before I go without much being left anyway but of course as others have said it's hard without knowing when we're going to pop our clogs to find that happy balance.  At least one of the benefits of being gay ( usually) is a lot of us don't have to worry about leaving the bulk of our estate on to wives and children.  

I actually had to change my financial advisor recently as my old (school) advisor guy just couldn't get his head around my requirement NOT to have to keep my estate intact for passing on to children etc and every pension plan he came up with ended up in his proposing "I" took  less now as that would keep my pot well funded after my death".  I had to explain to him that NO, I intend and indeed was instructing him to do the exact opposite but it seems his years of "training in safe investing" just couldn't get him into my "spend the lot and be damned mode" - hence my need to change advisors - much to my beneficiaries disgust once I'm gone perhaps ! ( and in some cases I certainly HOPE so anyway ! 🙂 ) 

[unicorn]

10 hours ago, CurtisD said:

...

I do not think bequests are the best way to ensure you are remembered.

...

Well, I do have a scholarship fund in my name to help university students who've suffered on account of their sexual orientation or gender identity, which is designed to last into perpetuity. I suppose the recipient many never bother to learn anything about me, but at least he or she will know my name. 

[a-447]

Thanks for that, Nirish. My advisor actually suggested something similar so that is probably the way to go.

Being gay with no ties means many of us have superfluous money, as we've not had the cost of a family to drain our funds. I'd hate to think what it costs to educate a couple of kids through to university! And in my case the partners I've had over my lifetime have all been self-sufficient and have been able to pay their own way. So it may sound strange but I actually enjoy having a couple of very special friends in Thailand who I can spend money on, spoil a bit and look after. 

I've now entered my 70s and although I have no intention of dropping off the perch soon, I'm trying to downsize and get rid of much of the "stuff" I've accumulated over the years. As a shopping tragic, I've ended up with way too much of everything. (The Salvation Army is doing very well out of me!)  So although I'm doing my best to spend, like many at my age I've got everything I need.  Money is great when you're young because we have so many "wants " but at my age, money and assets become rather meaningless.

I'm not complaining - It's a wonderful situation in which to be - but it's good to sit back and think how I am able to share what I have. 

I just need to work out HOW to share it.  I'll leave that to the experts.

 

[vinapu]

3 hours ago, a-447 said:

 Money is great when you're young because we have so many "wants " but at my age, money and assets become rather meaningless.

 

you must be right, I hard it form my maternal grandmother as teenager, word for word and he was smart lady , God let her rest in peace

[reader]

9 hours ago, a-447 said:

I've now entered my 70s and although I have no intention of dropping off the perch soon, I'm trying to downsize and get rid of much of the "stuff" I've accumulated over the years.

I recently had a similar experience and decided to empty out a storage bin I had been renting for nearly eight years. Not surprisingly, the most difficult things to part with were old books. A handful went went to friends but the rest went to the local library book sale. Like a-447, much went to the Salvation Army and a consignment shop. The whole thing was liberating while saving me the monthly bin rental cost going forward. There comes a time when we realize there's nothing to be gained by gathering possessions.

My surviving family members either have good jobs or have retired quite comfortably. In any case, I see little of them. So I, too, find myslef focusing on who have actually made my life more meaningful. Who are those I wanted so much to be with during the Covid crisis. Who are those who have been there for me--and I for them.

[Guest]

11 hours ago, a-447 said:

Money is great when you're young because we have so many "wants " but at my age, money and assets become rather meaningless...

As long as we have enough, yes.

Hopefully I have a few decades left.  However, since medical insurance gets more expensive as we age, I'd rather keep a well funded retirement pot.