What 3 Words would you say to your 18 year old self?

[TotallyOz]

Come out NOW!

I wish I had it in me to come out early. The Bible Belt was not easy in the 1980s but there were openly gay men. It took me another 10 plus years before I came out and I regretted it ever since.

[TMax]

"Try some cock" Seriously wish I hadn't hesitated to experience it for so long, better late than never I suppose, now to start planning my next trip to get my hands (and other parts) on some hot Thai guys.  

[fedssocr]

buy Apple stock

[PeterRS]

You're not alone!

Like other posters I wish I had come out earlier. I really did feel as though i was almost the only gay guy around when I was 18, despite having had a few furtive experiences. I came from a relatively small town where there seemed to be very few gay men. Those who were openly gay tended to be far older. I remember there being a club in a house in a small out of the way street where these older gay guys could meet. But anyone planning to enter would always look around to check there was no one looking before doing so. Even my father, who in other matters was a very open minded man, referred to one of the middle aged men who worked in the pharmacy at the foot of our street as "one of those". I hasten to add it was not said in a derogatory tone - more merely as a matter of fact. 

Not even in the relatively closed atmosphere of university could I overcome my fears about coming out. It took several years of working and then my first real relationship before I summoned up the courage. It feels so strange now to remember, but it was a very real 'fear' at the time. 

[Lucky]

That's interesting! I was composing my answer, and then saw that @TotallyOzhas already said it: "Come out, now!"

[Pete1111]

I knew for sure before 18 that I liked guys.  It frightened me a lot.  So, at 18, I would tell myself something along the lines of It Gets Better.  

I came out to my family in my mid 20s and joined a gay group at work. 

Then I volunteered to take part in a newspaper interview that sampled several companies in the city,  what it is like to be gay in corporate America.   

It was one of those things where I look back and go "what was I thinking?"  🤣    

But before that, I had a really hard time dealing with internalized homophobia and the fear of admitting I was gay.  

It really affected me.  So i would try to tell myself to that yes, it does get better, and to try changing my outlook on things.

[Lonnie]

3 hours ago, Pete1111 said:

yes, it does get better

I came out ages ago and I'm still waiting for it to get better.

[Riobard]

Twinks make bank. 

[Ruthrieston]

In my early teenage years in a small Scottish town I was so scared of being gay that I tried to kill myself three times, one of which almost worked. I was also sexually abused by the son of a coupe who were close friends of my parents, he was a soldier in his early twenties, just back from his second tour in Northern Ireland during the worst of the 'troubles". I got away from him when he tried to rape me in some bushes by the river and ran into a policemen. My treatment by the police was appalling. I was around 13 years old. They put me in the back of the police car next to my abuser. At fourteen I converted from the Scottish Presbyterian Church to the Roman Catholic Church, and at 18 I entered a silent, enclosed monastery, Latin Office and Mass sung in Plainchant daily. The Abbey was built in 1230, semi-ruined still and we were restoring it. Seven years there, with a community who were good, holy men. They respected me, accepted me. No messing about, we lived in separate cells and were silent. Those years of safety and peace enabled me to accept myself as a gay man. The Benedictine rule requires the community to have a secret vote on whether a new monk can be received into vows, and a two thirds plus one vote is required as a minimum. The Abbot told me my vote was unanimous. That was the day I knew there was nothing wrong with me. Three years later I left, and started to live my life at the age of twenty five. I became a nurse. During my three years training to be a Registered Nurse I also volunteered on Gay Switchboard, a phone help line for gay people. Sorry if this is too boring, I shall shut up now! 

[PeterRS]

1 hour ago, Ruthrieston said:

Sorry if this is too boring, I shall shut up now! 

Utterly fascinating. After what you have been through you deserve a pleasant (and gay) retirement. 

[vinapu]

4 hours ago, PeterRS said:

 you deserve a pleasant (and gay) retirement. 

Isn't it the same ?

[spoon]

I dont know what to say to my 18 self as i dont think its any better now. Maybe, just be yourself? 

[TotallyOz]

@Ruthrieston thank you so much for that amazing post. It was beautifully written. I appreciate such honesty and sharing. It helps me to learn more about you and your life. Truly fascinating. I definitely think you should write a book about your experiences. I would buy the first copy. Thank you for being a part of this community.

[Ruthrieston]

Very kind, thank you TotallyOz. I think keeping to myself in my condo, not meeting friends since early April has meant that I have done too much thinking and remembering. 

[PeterRS]

18 hours ago, Ruthrieston said:

Very kind, thank you TotallyOz. I think keeping to myself in my condo, not meeting friends since early April has meant that I have done too much thinking and remembering. 

I suspect many of us have been more or less in the same boat. I do sincerely hope you will consider writing more about your past experiences, especially all the many thoughts that must have been flowing through your mind during all those years of silence.

[KYTOP]

Should've taken typing , I had just finished high school and never took typing. Back then only girls took typing. Back then any man that made it very far in the Office would have a secretary. I got high enough to have a secretary and then BOOM the computer age and word processor. After a computer entered my office the secretary soon disappeared and buckle up bucko it is easy to do your own typing and correct mistakes at ease. BUT I CAN'T TYPE. As I type this I am still hunting and pecking with 2 fingers. Many things have changed since High School, and I still regret I did not take typing.

[BigK]

Typing was the best course I took in Middle School...7th or 8th grade.  It's helped me for a lifetime.

 

It's still learnable.  Taking a online typing tutorial 10 minutes a day and in 6 months you'll be a touch typest.