Is he gay ?

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Travellerdave said:

Vinapu - how can you tell If he is gay or not from that photo ?

PeterRS - yes you are right . In Pattaya some gogos/bars were known for gay boys and some for str. For offs I was not concerned but only gay for a longer term relationship.

I don't ever remember asking if a boy is gay or not.  For general chat I cover the normal things like name, age, where he comes from, where he lives and what else he does or has done.

If we're meeting without any tips involved, then I presume he has to be at least partly gay or interested in trying it.

If we're meeting for a paid encounter, all that matters is roles, keeping promises and having a good attitude.  Even if gay, I guess the vast majority would not be in the room if a tip were not expected.  

Do people normally ask whether the other guy is gay ?    Should one expect an, er, straight answer ?

 

[Gaybutton]

I never do.  First, "gay" can mean different things to different people.  Second, speaking only for myself, I've been doing this long enough that I don't need to ask to know.

As for the answer you'll get if you ask, for years I've seen people on the boards absolutely insist the boy is going to tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear.  That has not been my experience.  With very rare exceptions, when I've asked questions, the boys give me honest answers, even when they know the answer will mean I won't take them off or agree to meet  from the apps.  It is also just as important that when the boy wants to know anything about you, make sure you are giving honest answers too.  If you don't want the boy to lie to you, then don't lie to him.  And don't make any promises you know you cannot or will not keep.

I find that if answers are going to be dishonest, they're more likely to come from the farang rather than the boys.

[Londoner]

If I were to date now, I would certainly ensure that my companion wasn't straight, as far as is possible.  I know that some of us prefer straight or macho guys; indeed, a few specifically reject gay ones, claiming (quite wrongly , in my view) that they are effeminate. Some, and only some, are.

I  am not claiming to take the high ground on this and I'm certainly not denigrating those who feel differently but, for me the very idea of having sex with a guy who finds physical contact with a man unwelcome  seems unwholesome. I wouldn't have expected a MB actually to enjoy his congress with someone of my age (despite my being staggeringly attractive!) but  for a straight guy to submit to my demands seems just plain wrong.

I suspect that this is a barely rational view to take but  that's what I felt after a few years exploring the scene.

I would add another aspect to this; I found in my butterfly days (when I must admit I usually chose on looks above everything else) that the truly gay guy performed better and that I wanted, expected and paid for more than a  partner who merely laid back and thought of Thailand. Eventually,  I only offed gays. 

[vinapu]

I answered Travellersdave question in other thread.

When talking  to a guy I usually ask 3 questions "do you go with me", ' long time? ' and ' do you kiss", Sometimes also compensation question as I like those arrangements made before we open door but often this is matter of fact or initiated by  guy himself. 

When we are already in the room I may ask whether he likes girls or guys out of curiosity and to maintain conversation. Still remember great answer by Jack from Senso "I like girls but I like your hand there too".

As with any question of that nature I'd expect answer matching not truth but what boy thinks I'd like to hear. It has nothing to do with honesty, rather with maintaining conversation between after all , strangers. When somebody ask us " how are you ?', rarely we answer with ' shitty, I had diarrhea whole night' even if that would be true.

[vinapu]

9 minutes ago, Londoner said:

(despite my being staggeringly attractive!)

oh yes , that bulge in the back pocket !

[spoon]

I dont ask directly, but i sometimes ask some indrect questions that usually gives me a clue. Asking if they have a boyfriend for example. Its not a deal breaker for me if they are gay or straight or bi, but i am one of those who want the guy to fit certain criteria if i am paying. Cant say what ill do if i want a long term relationship as ive yet consider getting into that. 

So far, ive only went out with one guy in  thailand that is for fun, and not for sex, and it doesnt involve me paying him money for his time. Of course i did picked up the bills, but there is no obligation for him to do what he dont want. In fact, i even offer to give him money before sending him off and he politely refuse.

This guy, i didnt know exactly if he is gay or bi or straight, but i did ask him what is his type and he shows me the kind of guy he like, when we were at a gay bar.

 

Those boys who i know for a fact that they are straight, often from mamasan, but still will go with me, i sometimes ask them what kind of girl do they like. One said he like blonde lady lol.

[a-447]

I never ask. What's important to me is what he will do in bed.

As I prefer straight-acting masculine guys I guess most of my offs have not been gay. Some may have been bi.

If I were after a long - term partner, he would have to be gay. And versatile in bed.

[caeron]

 

What is the point of the question? Even if he is gay, it isn't likely that I'm his first choice to go to bed with. He's working. I ask about what I want to do in bed.

I am never looking for a long-term partner.

[floridarob]

When this has come up in Thailand, the guy will say...I'm not gay, I MAN.....just meaning he's a top, I tell them I'm not gay, only in the bed ,lol

[vaughn]

I think i have asked maybe once or twice with working boys, usually after poor performance haha.

The type of guys i am attracted to are usually fairly obviously gay, my main question is usually 'Are you bottom?' and then usual 'get to know you' kind of vetting.

 

[CurtisD]

The only place I ask this question is Thailand as that is the only place I go to working bars. 

I don't use 'gay' though as it is freighted with too many different meanings.

I ask the guy if he likes boy or girl or both, or which he likes best, boy or girl?

I think the answers are honest within the normal range of confusion over what a guy thinks he likes or is willing to admit he likes. 

The chemistry is usually best with guys who like guys, so that is my preference, but it can also be good with guys who like both in cultures where things are a little more fluid. One of my best experiences in Thailand was with a guy who proudly showed me photos of his daughter and whose priority was clearly supporting his wife ('she beautiful', very proudly) and child, but who equally clearly enjoyed sex with guys. Well, clearly enjoyed sex and being admired.

In the West I only like gay guys and as I don't use working boys this is who I meet. An exception decades ago was a guy who had married very young, clearly loved his wife and child but now realized he was gay. Hot, sweet and a complete emotional mess due to the more rigid expectations of a Western society.  That encounter convinced me to stick with gay guys who were comfortable in themselves and to avoid straight, confused or self-hating gay guys.

 

 

[Boy69]

The gender preferences in Thailand is very fluid it's not like in the western culture black and white and even boy who claims he is straight had some same  sex experience in his life.  I agree with one of the posters here that the term 'gay' in Thailand is very confusing a boy can claim he's a man not gay meaning he is top only  but he is actually gay !

I guess if you are into masculine rough boys most of them are straight so to ask them if they are gay or not is irrelevant.

If you're into bottom boys IMO asking the boy if he's gay or not is a must otherwise most likely they won't perform into your desires and will be incompitance in bad.

[TotallyOz]

18 hours ago, spoon said:

I dont ask directly, but i sometimes ask some indrect questions that usually gives me a clue.

me too. I'll ask:

What is your favorite Barbara Streisand song?

What color are your bedroom sheets?

hotdogs or burgers?

Who is your favorite Golden Girls? (young ones may not know this and need an assignment)

Do you like cut or uncut?

What is the name of your favorite dildo?

 

 

[spoon]

I asked about music too lol.

34 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

me too. I'll ask:

What is your favorite Barbara Streisand song?

 

35 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

Do you like cut or uncut?

What is the name of your favorite dildo?

This i can use for next time hehe.

[TotallyOz]

11 minutes ago, spoon said:

I asked about music too lol.

 

This i can use for next time hehe.

no Golden Girls?

[spoon]

1 hour ago, TotallyOz said:

no Golden Girls?

I dont even know what golden girls are lol 

[TotallyOz]

29 minutes ago, spoon said:

I dont even know what golden girls are lol 

I didn't know we had breeders here. But, welcome. We will try to be accommodating!

[TotallyOz]

But, honestly, yes, I always ask. Each and every time. I have for 30 years. I want to know I at least have a shot. That said, most of my ex's were not gay so I don't know why I keep asking as it may not matter to me in the end.

[spoon]

29 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

I didn't know we had breeders here. But, welcome. We will try to be accommodating!

Lol breeders? If only that is true. Dont think this sitcom has ever been aired here in malaysia. Plus seems like the sitcom is very old 😜

[vinapu]

4 minutes ago, spoon said:

Lol breeders? If only that is true. Dont think this sitcom has ever been broadcasted here in malaysia

perhaps you too young to remember, it was early late 80 and early 90 ties I guess, best sitcom ever. Rose / Betty White / must be approaching 100 now. Is Blanche , one in picture still alive? anybody knows?  (I know I can google)

[PeterRS]

14 hours ago, spoon said:

Lol breeders? If only that is true. Dont think this sitcom has ever been aired here in malaysia. Plus seems like the sitcom is very old 😜

Let's not forget that @spoon is just a youngster - unlike most of us here!

[pong2]

Dont, in short.

For most Thai-except perhaps the few that got a western-style education and have been outside- gay simple means ´being a bottom in sexual intercourse´ and not homosexual in the way most people on this tree use it.

For some the word ´hohmoh´ (not hoo-moo, thats like hu-mu) may have the message.

You dont talk in Thai about such things-just do it!

[TotallyOz]

2 minutes ago, pong2 said:

Dont, in short.

For most Thai-except perhaps the few that got a western-style education and have been outside- gay simple means ´being a bottom in sexual intercourse´ and not homosexual in the way most people on this tree use it.

For some the word ´hohmoh´ (not hoo-moo, thats like hu-mu) may have the message.

You dont talk in Thai about such things-just do it!

Many who are gay but not bottom will say gay man. That means up to you in bed?

[Travellerdave]

As I initiated this thread in the photos section I had better join in.

i have visiting Thailand mostly Pattaya. now for 20 years but unfortunately not in the last 18 months.  Mostly my visits have been relatively short (3 to 4 weeks) but about. 15 years ago I did stay for several periods of 3 months. I have not maintained a record but I must have engaged the sexual services of over 150 Asian rent boys. On first contact my first concern has been the attractiveness of the boy and then I would want to know what he would permit in bed. In a bar with the noise and limited English  it is sometimes difficult to pin this down even with the help of a mamasan and on the telephone occasionally impossible. In the past I liked a period of kissing and of late I have become more bottom so important to ascertain that he would top. The question of whether he was gay was not in the forefront of my mind, although I do remember it coming up occasionally when the reply was often vague.

During my longer stays after a couple of weeks of bar hopping and beer drinking I calmed down and took boys for extended periods during which I got to know them fairly well even to the extent of meeting their family. With one very attractive boy I became his classic daddy, giving significant money and presents. I regarded him as bisexual, with him admitting to enjoying sex with girls, even having a bar girl as his girlfriend whilst living with me. But he had had a lot of gay sex with other farangs, and told me that he often enjoyed it and especially liked being desired by gay men.

[Patanawet]

No.  Because to many Thais, GAY means bottom, ladyboy, queen etc.

Many will answer with  "No I am man"  meaning "i am gay but top" etc.