Facebook Dating

[TotallyOz]

So, I was curious about Facebook dating and gave it a try. People like you or you like them and if a match, you can chat. I met one guy that I thought was really cute and I wanted to meet him. We chatted for a few days and last night he came to my place for a date. We went to eat (not really as no seating but brought it back to the apartment). We chatted and had a great time. He speaks great English and is into computers and programming. He is a bit young, 20 years old, but very smart and funny. He did enjoy playing games online a bit, but that was fine. The night was great, sex was very good, and he asked for no money at all. He wants a BF. He comes to Bangkok once per week to play volleyball and asked if he could spend next weekend with me as well. I said yes. Since Jupiter Boy has left the picture, it looks like Volleyball Boy has came into the race.

[anddy]

3 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

People like you or you like them and if a match, you can chat.

Sounds like Tinder, didn't even know it existed in fb or how to access it lol

[TotallyOz]

It is only available (I think) on the mobile phone app. I can't find it on my computer.

[pong2]

You probably know christians blog= christianpfc.blogspot.com and he had a recent post about fb including this way of making contacts. Big threshold for most will be that most is in Thai, read and write

[TotallyOz]

38 minutes ago, pong2 said:

You probably know christians blog= christianpfc.blogspot.com and he had a recent post about fb including this way of making contacts. Big threshold for most will be that most is in Thai, read and write

I have not seen his blog but will take a look. Thanks.

I have talked to many that are Thai and Google Translate is excellent. And, if worth seeing, isn't it worth teaching them English?   That way, when they move on from you, they can communicate with the next guy better?   jk (not thinking about Jupiter Boy here, just making an observation)

[Guest]

I dislike the Facebook model of having one app and one profile that fulfills many functions, with their intention that everyone who knows or finds you can see all your posts. 

I'd much rather the set up where I can go to dating apps for dating, independent forums for discussion and so on.   That has the benefit of privacy and there is also some diversity of policies between different websites, rather than having to fall in line with whatever Suckerburg dictates.

I avoided Facebook for years, but eventually set up an account when I found so many businesses had their only websites on Facebook & it was helpful to have an account.  I even used the "Alternative State Quarantine" page when planning my holiday last year.      However, I use one of my secondary e-mails, keep all the search and tracing options off and make it as difficult as possible for anyone to find me.   

Just like covid, it seems we will be living with Facebook for years.

Having said all that, if someone can identify advantages with the dating and explain how privacy is maintained, I'll be interested.   Yes, I note Michael has been successful, so perhaps I need to keep an open mind !

[spoon]

U can always create a second fb account and fb have made it easy to swap between accounts. 

1 hour ago, z909 said:

I dislike the Facebook model of having one app and one profile that fulfills many functions, with their intention that everyone who knows or finds you can see all your posts. 

I'd much rather the set up where I can go to dating apps for dating, independent forums for discussion and so on.   That has the benefit of privacy and there is also some diversity of policies between different websites, rather than having to fall in line with whatever Suckerburg dictates. 

 

[thaiophilus]

4 hours ago, spoon said:

U can always create a second fb account and fb have made it easy to swap between accounts. 

 

How do they reconcile that with the FB "real names policy" ? or (I'm not a FB user) is that a thing of the past?

[spoon]

6 hours ago, thaiophilus said:

How do they reconcile that with the FB "real names policy" ? or (I'm not a FB user) is that a thing of the past?

U can use a variety of your name or nickname. So far ive had no trouble. 

[PeterRS]

I am not a Facebook member and have not desire to join. But we all know it is not the only way to meet guys and the apps we use have been changing over time. At the end of the 1990s there was one here in Thailand mostly for Thai boys but surprisingly was almost all in English. I'm sure it was only on the internet, but it was a good way of finding very agreeable company.

For some years my two most successful Asian computer apps were fridae, based in Singapore, allegedly with 500,000 members around the Chinese diaspora, and gaydar. The former was free but you accessed the entire membership for a $49 annual fee. Living in Asia that was certainly worth it and I met many guys as a result. It was taken over from the gay guy who ran it as a commercial concern about 5 or so years ago. Now it is a shell and in its death throws. Perhaps surprisingly I found gaydar extremely good for making contacts in places like Japan and Taiwan. I may have mentioned this hook-up before - if so, apologies in advance. I have tried to find the key words on the search engine but without success.

Once planning a trip to Tokyo in the mid-2000s I spotted a lovely 21 year old on gaydar. We chatted and agree to meet at my hotel for coffee after he had finished his studies. I never like to hook up with someone first in my room as descriptions and photos are still sometimes inaccurate. So I waited for my hoped-for new friend in a corner of the lobby coffee shop. A few minutes later in walked this vision. Surely it has to be him, I thought. It was. He came and sat with me and we chatted for about an hour. Not surprisingly for those looking for foreigners on the hook up sites in those days he spoke excellent English. He told me he had recently broken up with a US sailor from the nearby Yokosuka Naval base.

He was happy to come up to my room. I was ecstatic! I was even more so when he hugged and held each other tightly. I could feel down below something which was certainly not the "medium" in the gaydar description. I told him, "Masayuki-san, that is not medium. It's not even big. Its humungous!" Clothes ripped off, I saw with my own eyes that I was right. A marvellous sight to behold - and he was not even a top! We quickly showered, played around a bit and then got down to business. Wow! What an evening. Later I suggested I take him for dinner. One of my favourite restaurants in Nishi-Azabu was full and so we went to a nice French restaurant across the road. He then came and stayed the night, as he was to do the following two nights until I had to leave. 

Masayuki was definitely boyfriend material - and more! But there were two problems. We lived in different countries and his studies were being paid by one of the Japanese large conglomerates. Six months later when he graduated, he was theirs for a minimum of five years and they could post him anywhere and everywhere in Japan they wanted and when they wanted. So as we discussed seeing each other again, we both knew we could only be together before his graduation. I made the most of it with three trips to Japan and he came to spend 8 days with me in Bangkok and Phuket. We said our goodbyes and they were tearful.

Yet we did meet up once again. Probably around 2 years later I was whiling away time in the shower area of the 24 Kaikan sauna in Tokyo when I heard someone mention my name. Who on earth can this be? It was Masayuki. But he had changed. Once he started working, he had met up online with an New York banker who visited Japan every month and was a muscle mary. He had persuaded Masayuki to join him in the gyms. In a way I was glad, because this body was not the Masayuki I had known. But that "medium" appendage was still there!

I wonder what the best apps are nowadays apart from Facebook.

[TotallyOz]

1 hour ago, PeterRS said:

I wonder what the best apps are nowadays apart from Facebook.

I have the best luck on Hornet and Grindr. Hornet I have met the best guys on. Grindr I have met guys who say, I want money a lot. I also like Gay Romeo but most of those are working boys and that is good as well. I find when I log in for any, I also get messages.

[Boy69]

In my last trip last year I used exclusively Grindr plenty of boys and very easy to use it .

[PeterRS]

I wonder how many forum members use the apps for commercial hook ups and how many just to meet interested guys who want to have some easy fun without payment (apart perhaps from transport money). The impression I have is that Pattaya is almost exclusively gay for pay on the apps whereas in Bangkok there seem to be quite a few guys, especially students, who do not see it as a financial transaction.

[Boy69]

1 hour ago, PeterRS said:

impression I have is that Pattaya is almost exclusively gay for pay on the apps

Yes it is definitely so. Even if a Thai boy isn't a money boy and looking for Thai partners once falang is online chat they will demand money for meeting.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, PeterRS said:

The impression I have is that Pattaya is almost exclusively gay for pay on the apps whereas in Bangkok there seem to be quite a few guys, especially students, who do not see it as a financial transaction.

Agreed.   Pattaya seems unique. 

This must be rather irritating for the young lads NOT working as money boys in Pattaya. 

A minority do clearly specify that they are not money boys on their profiles and some of those even mean it. 

 

 

 

[TotallyOz]

6 hours ago, Boy69 said:

Yes it is definitely so. Even if a Thai boy isn't a money boy and looking for Thai partners once falang is online chat they will demand money for meeting.

Luckily Volleyball Boy did not ask for money. He is a good guy and only wants love.

 

 

Then, today he told me about his computer being broken and he can't go to school or do work without it. So sad. I don't know why he told me that?

[spoon]

17 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

Luckily Volleyball Boy did not ask for money. He is a good guy and only wants love.

 

 

Then, today he told me about his computer being broken and he can't go to school or do work without it. So sad. I don't know why he told me that?

Hint hint, he wants you to repair his computer for him, or give him your old computer, or buy him a new one? Naive me would say he is simply sharing his day.

 

[TotallyOz]

1 minute ago, spoon said:

Hint hint, he wants you to repair his computer for him, or give him your old computer, or buy him a new one? Naive me would say he is simply sharing his day.

 

My goodness man. You are a skeptic! Come on, he is in love. He is just sharing his life. Right?

[vinapu]

29 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

My goodness man. You are a skeptic! Come on, he is in love. He is just sharing his life. Right?

don't waste time and buy him this computer today as you know you will anyways sooner or later so get over it ASAP and he will love you forever or at least till next Monday

[Guest]

Reminds me of a Filipino I met & shared my Skype ID with. 

The conversations would typically be something like "Hello" & nothing else other than various direct or implied requests for money.   e.g. Sending me photos of Nike trainers, telling me it's his birthday next day etc.   Or more directly, telling me he has a cold and needs $75 to go and see a doctor.  I doubt Filipino doctors charge $75 for 15 minutes of their time and no one needs to see a doctor for a cold. 

As the conversations were purely commercial & I wasn't planning to go back to the Philippines for several years, I just started ignoring the correspondence.

If living in the same city, it might be worth going along with it for a while.

4 minutes ago, vinapu said:

don't waste time and buy him this computer today as you know you will anyways sooner or later so get over it ASAP and he will love you forever or at least till next Monday

Day 5 of this relationship.    Some boyfriend candidates seem to expect more money than the hookers ? 

[fedssocr]

is that the BFE - boyfriend experience? It's like the guys on Sugarbaby sites who have all sorts of things they need money for. It's all a big game.

[spoon]

54 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

My goodness man. You are a skeptic! Come on, he is in love. He is just sharing his life. Right?

Optimistic me will offer him to buy a new computer and him refusing profusely and saying all he need is to come to your place more often so he can use your computer for study

[Guest]

2 hours ago, fedssocr said:

is that the BFE - boyfriend experience? It's like the guys on Sugarbaby sites who have all sorts of things they need money for. It's all a big game.

You are diplomatic.    Surely that kind of Sugarbaby thing would be just a simple difference between short term prostitution and long term prostitution ?      

If he's not meeting for love or friendship and expects fiscal compensation for sex, it's the same thing.       Like the difference between a hotel room for 1 night and a long term lease on an apartment.   Except with hotels and apartments, we know what the price is in advance.

Although slightly different is the kind of over optimistic Sugarbaby who contacted me on a phone app in the UK.  His offer was that I could take him out to dinner AND pay him for the privilege, whilst making it clear things would never progress any further.  I made it very clear I've got friends who are perfectly good company to eat with, almost certainly better company and I don't pay people to have dinner with me.

[ I'm referring to these Sugarbaby types here, not Michael's lad, whom I should not judge fully on limited information]

 

[reader]

Hell, I remember when all you needed was Google Translate.

Now I guess you need a calculator, lie detector and two-factor identification before you invite a guy to your room.

[vinapu]

2 hours ago, reader said:

 

Now I guess you need a calculator, lie detector and two-factor identification before you invite a guy to your room.

but this is only because we have more time on our hands because of pandemics and restrictions