Hey Daddy, Go Fuck Yourself!

[RockHardNYC]

1 hour ago, SexyAsianStud said:

There seems to be an exodus (willingly or unwillingly) of persons of color from the Daddy site.... take that for what you will.

There's always been an ebb and flow over there. Racism on that board has reared its ugly head plenty of times. In older days, Daddy was smarter, more professional, or perhaps more cautious. I don't remember him exposing too many personal opinions on controversial topics. He learned to simply close threads, which is the appropriate professional behavior for a well-moderated board.

Steven Kesslar writes beautifully how Hooboy's board could build a career in escorting, without one penny of overhead expense. I always cautioned escorts to keep their politics out of public view. Politics and religion are two subjects that have the power to kill a business. Business 101: never surrender your power to others.

There is expert reason, plenty of research data, why conventional wisdom instructs business owners to SHUT UP when public discussion on controversial topics can hurt us financially. You never should want to turn-off a potential customer. Unfortunately, social media and narcissism makes that more difficult to accomplish these days. Some queens can't ever keep their mouths shut. While other queens thrive on being self-destructive.

I remember in the mid-2000's there was a red-neck Southern hottie posting on Hooboy. He had a Kip Knoll look and a pretty Caucasian cut cock. He could have been gay for pay. He revealed himself to be a bonafide racist. Often sounded like a KKK member, repulsed at the idea of sucking a Black client's cock. Refused to ever book one. He and I emailed privately, briefly. I often laughed at him without his knowing. I fantasized about tying him up and blindfolding him, secretly forcing him to take Black cock in his mouth while I fucked his pretty White ass relentlessly. I love a good interracial fantasy, especially one where I convert a racist, making him beg for more Black cock. I tried my best to educate the punk on his diseased brain, but he was a tough nut to crack. He eventually left the board during one of my Time Outs, and his email went dead.

All escorts and members should be appalled by Daddy's behavior. Unfortunately, many escorts and clients are racist themselves. Stripping Daddy of his gatekeeper power will not end racism in the industry. But it will sure teach a great lesson that Daddy needs to learn.

Escorts and clients, it's time to get WOKE.

Edited June 9, 2020 by RockHardNYC

[SexyAsianStud]

OK.... this question may sound naïve, and it mat sound like i have some ulterior motive in asking, but i really don't, so here it goes....

i have never in my life encountered such overt racism, ultra-rightism, hatred as i saw during my time as a participant in the daddy site -- and so much bile directed at me - questioning my identity, my credentials, making fun of me.... one particularly hateful bigot there called me "boy"...

so where do these guys come from and how did they come to assemble in one place and how do they manage to so dominate the discourse over there? like... i hnestly don't get it!

[Buddy2]

48 minutes ago, SexyAsianStud said:

OK.... this question may sound naïve, and it mat sound like i have some ulterior motive in asking, but i really don't, so here it goes....

i have never in my life encountered such overt racism, ultra-rightism, hatred as i saw during my time as a participant in the daddy site -- and so much bile directed at me - questioning my identity, my credentials, making fun of me.... one particularly hateful bigot there called me "boy"...

so where do these guys come from and how did they come to assemble in one place and how do they manage to so dominate the discourse over there? like... i hnestly don't get it!

 

I agree. Daddy should have stepped in to stop the harassment against you. A significant "F" grade for Daddy doing absolutely nothing.

[Lucky]

So there are two areas of complaint here? I know you will let me know if I am wrong...

1) Daddy posted that all lives matter. That's an opinion, one most of us find to be uneducated. He does not seem to appreciate that black lives matter less in many contexts. because of racism and police oppression. One wonders where he has been. Were there no blacks in Seattle; Vegas? If anything, the widespread, world-wide protests should have sparked some curiosity in him as to why we say Black Lives Matter. Does having this opinion make him a bad person?  By itself, I don't think so.

When I hear All Lives Matter, I hear someone crying out to be educated. Hopefully they want justice for all lives, and it's black lives that are suffering in the precincts of justice, and have been for decades.

2) Our white privilege has seen protests before. We might make some noise about justice, but for the most part whites have been content to let life settle back into its old norms once the protest ends. The challenge now is to prevent that. Many of us need to be educated on white privilege, or helped  to see it in our lives.

For my thinking, this movement is the strongest one I have seen in my life. There is a real chance for change. It's world-wide. It may be younger people who move it forward, but we all have to make some effort. We can write people in power to keep the movement going, not to let down. We can remain vocal, and we can try to identify how we indulge our privilege. We must learn to share privilege with everyone.

IMHO, Daddy just needs some educating. Calling him names or mocking his looks detracts from any sincere effort to move him forward on this topic. I assume that he doesn't want to be guided by old-fashioned views. He needs to show a willingness to open his mind and listen.

But then, don't we all?

Edited June 9, 2020 by Lucky

[Lucky]

1 hour ago, SexyAsianStud said:

OK.... this question may sound naïve, and it mat sound like i have some ulterior motive in asking, but i really don't, so here it goes....

i have never in my life encountered such overt racism, ultra-rightism, hatred as i saw during my time as a participant in the daddy site -- and so much bile directed at me - questioning my identity, my credentials, making fun of me.... one particularly hateful bigot there called me "boy"...

so where do these guys come from and how did they come to assemble in one place and how do they manage to so dominate the discourse over there? like... i honestly don't get it!

Personal attacks on you for your politics, race, etc. are all unwarranted. Moderators need to be aware, but isn't it your job to make sure they are? I think Oz has a policy that the smeared individual must make the complaint, or else he won't entertain it. The idea being that if the smeared individual isn't concerned, why should anyone else be? I don't agree with that, and Oz may not either. It's something I think he expressed once. I would certainly not mind being corrected. This is an instance, or series of instances, where all of us should speak up.

[RockHardNYC]

1 hour ago, SexyAsianStud said:

so where do these guys come from

Ugly, miserable gay guys have always existed. How else could "Boys In The Band" have given birth?

In theater as a young person, I remember many gay, older assholes, always trying to paw me with their aggressive, secretly intoxicated, cigarette-smelling hands. I always thought these guys were GROSS and PATHETIC, wearing their lust as if they were entitled to touch anything they desired. I wanted no part of this ugly group of men. Their behavior made me sick.

I will never forget the first time I encountered Hooboy's forum in the early 2000's, which was a linked page away from the reviews. Five minutes of reading on that board was all I needed to run from that gay community of self-hating cannibals. I had never experienced such hatred before. I was ashamed of those guys. I specifically wrote Hooboy, telling him he needed to control the tone of his board. And when Daddy took over, I wrote him telling him the same thing.

It took a long time before Daddy would pay attention to the responsibility of moderation. There were many "meltdowns" (the word used for temporary board closures) before Daddy had the courage to begin cleaning house. Admin there was always afraid of the Free-Speech warriors, who would complain endlessly if their posts were tampered with. I thought of them as screaming-pussy-trolls. I kept a list of their usernames to remind me who to ignore. The "ignore" feature had not been invented yet.

1 hour ago, SexyAsianStud said:

how did they come to assemble in one place

Hooboy's Forum was a trend setter, a first of its kind. Hooboy was a celebrity of sorts, a well known radio personality doing the gay escort review thing on the DL. His employment stature gave him instant credibility. There was no other place for like-minded gay men to assemble. Hooboy had a talent for attracting people to him. Daddy never had that talent.

1 hour ago, SexyAsianStud said:

how do they manage to so dominate the discourse over there?

You don't know "domination" until you experience the troll meltdowns of the early 2000's. Daddy's board today is the Garden of Eden by comparison. "Dominate" is a relative perception. The bottom line is: moderating a community forum online is no easy task, especially if you have very poor management skills. Moderation on that board has always been an issue. They simply have to clue how to keep the board civil and control the influx of TROLLS. In this respect, Daddy is a TOTAL FAILURE.

Edited June 9, 2020 by RockHardNYC

[Buddy2]

Daddy seems more concerned with putting people on time out than paying attention to new members  who are constantly bullied.

A more vigilant owner would have seriously reprimanded Mr. Kesslar for his constant critical comments about his conservative former clients. Many post there too, but are intimated by Steven.

[RockHardNYC]

I received another surprise email today from a second famous organization that I have supported for decades. I love seeing when my donation money is well spent. Such smart behavior, superior business decisions that I agree with, always encourage me to donate more. This is a lesson Daddy will never learn.

ICP Statement of Action

Jun 09, 2020

Dear ICP Community,

ICP was founded on the principles of concerned photography, the belief that imagery has the power to educate and change the world. It is unacceptable that systemic racism, injustice, and violence towards people of color have continued to endure in our nation and around the world. We stand in solidarity with Black communities and everyone who is working toward a more just future, and we believe that Black lives matter.

As a center for photography, we will always emphasize the unique role of images as catalysts for social change. Images and words are important tools in the fight for justice. Actions are also essential. We recognize the significance of our position as an organization that educates imagemakers and photojournalists, and that exhibits and collects the work of visual authors. 

ICP’s Vision and Justice Working Group is an internal, cross-departmental team of ICP employees. Inspired by initiatives to address long-standing disparities of power in the field of photography and the nonprofit arts sector, the group has been meeting since 2018 and explores internal and external strategies that deepen ICP’s commitment to equity, access, and inclusion. The Vision and Justice Working Group was launched as part of ICP's participation in Race Forward's Racial Equity in the Arts Innovation Lab, a yearlong training program to increase racial equity in New York City's arts and cultural sector. ICP recognizes that we have urgent and further work to do and as a next step, ICP will provide equity training for all staff members and create a budget for further professional development opportunities around this work.

ICP is also launching a diversity, equity and inclusion initiative to examine organizational structures and hiring practices to work toward increased diversity in our staff, student, and faculty communities. Our Trustees will redouble their efforts toward achieving greater Trustee diversity. To inform and guide this initiative, ICP will also establish an external Advisory Council, including Black artists, educators, scholars and leaders, with the goal of creating enduring and significant institutional change.

In the next four weeks, ICP will convene a public conversation to examine emerging issues in photojournalism around topics including protection of protestor safety, privacy, consent, minimization of harm, facial recognition, metadata and freedom of expression in showing images of protest.

On March 20, we launched our #ICPConcerned initiative to document the global pandemic by encouraging people from around the world to share their experiences of COVID-19. In the past two weeks, it has evolved into a forum for images of protest and the Black Lives Matter movement. When we reopen our center, we will feature an exhibition showcasing this work.

Throughout our 46 years, ICP’s mission of concerned photography has informed our exhibitions, education and community programs. We have sought to empower imagemakers to use visual imagery as a powerful tool in the fight against social injustice for all peoples. We will continue to uplift and amplify Black voices, stories and images, listen and learn, and use our voice and our institution to promote positive social change.

Best regards,

Mark Lubell
Executive Director
 

[SexyAsianStud]

1 hour ago, Lucky said:

Personal attacks on you for your politics, race, etc. are all unwarranted. Moderators need to be aware, but isn't it your job to make sure they are? I think Oz has a policy that the smeared individual must make the complaint, or else he won't entertain it. The idea being that if the smeared individual isn't concerned, why should anyone else be? I don't agree with that, and Oz may not either. It's something I think he expressed once. I would certainly not mind being corrected. This is an instance, or series of instances, where all of us should speak up.

When I complained, I was given a time out.... the perpetrator was not.

OK.... next case....

[Buddy2]

49 minutes ago, RockHardNYC said:

Ugly, miserable gay guys have always existed. How else could "Boys In The Band" have given birth?

In theater as a young person, I remember many gay, older assholes, always trying to paw me with their aggressive, secretly intoxicated, cigarette-smelling hands. I always thought these guys were GROSS and PATHETIC, wearing their lust as if they were entitled to touch anything they desired. I wanted no part of this ugly group of men. Their behavior made me sick.

I will never forget the first time I encountered Hooboy's forum in the early 2000's, which was a linked page away from the reviews. Five minutes of reading on that board was all I needed to run from that gay community of self-hating cannibals. I had never experienced such hatred before. I was ashamed of those guys. I specifically wrote Hooboy, telling him he needed to control the tone of his board. And when Daddy took over, I wrote him telling him the same thing.

It took a long time before Daddy would pay attention to the responsibility of moderation. There were many "meltdowns" (the word used for temporary board closures) before Daddy had the courage to begin cleaning house. Admin there was always afraid of the Free-Speech warriors, who would complain endlessly if their posts were tampered with. I thought of them as screaming-pussy-trolls. I kept a list of their usernames to remind me who to ignore. The "ignore" feature had not been invented yet.

Hooboy's Forum was a trend setter, a first of its kind. Hooboy was a celebrity of sorts, a well known radio personality doing the gay escort review thing on the DL. His employment stature gave him instant credibility. There was no other place for like-minded gay men to assemble. Hooboy had a talent for attracting people to him. Daddy never had that talent.

You don't know "domination" until you experience the troll meltdowns of the early 2000's. Daddy's board today is the Garden of Eden by comparison. "Dominate" is a relative perception. The bottom line is: moderating a community forum online is no easy task, especially if you have very poor management skills. Moderation on that board has always been an issue. They simply have to clue how to keep the board civil and control the influx of TROLLS. In this respect, Daddy is a TOTAL FAILURE.

Perhaps your  definition of trolls is somewhat different than Daddy's.

Daddy doesn't use the term for people he may dislike but who are obeying the rules of the site. After all, many members are pretty satisfied with that site, I believe.

 

[Lucky]

There is more going on here than Daddy saying All Lives Matter. You guys seem to have years of built up contempt for the things that happened when you posted on his site.

Naturally I think timeouts are not deserved for pointing out someone else's attacks. I also had my share of timeouts. But am I going to carry that with me going forward? How long?

When we see people trying to bring others together to understand that Black Lives Matter, it seems we need to bring ourselves together as well. Rock Hard accurately points out that some pretty bitter exchanges occurred in earlier days. But either you devote yourself to this site going forward, or you try to reconcile past grievances with the other site.  Options beyond that?

I am all ears.

[Buddy2]

Sadly, I believe we already know the answer, @Lucky

[RockHardNYC]

2 hours ago, SexyAsianStud said:

When I complained, I was given a time out.... the perpetrator was not.

You can't possibly comprehend the number of Time Outs I received for saying out loud on the board, "Daddy promotes a double standard." "Daddy plays favorites." "Daddy's rules are arbitrary." Just typing the words got me the boot. And then suddenly fake usernames created by deej would appear, denying that admin decisions were arbitrary. Always made me laugh. Always confirmed the place was a pitiful mess run by incompetents. Every time deej tried to put out a fire, his fake usernames would appear. They were as obvious to me as the sky is blue.

Normally, escorts could get away with anything, certainly more nasty stuff that other members. Deej, that raging, arrogant asshole prick, would actually argue why escorts were allowed more than one username in the TOS. In the meantime, certain escorts LOVED playing the role of TROLL. Certain escorts used their multiple username allowance to trash other escorts and other members. Clever, devious escorts weaponized the board privilege to their competitive advantage, or they used the privilege to put a member they did not like in his place. IT WAS ALL ONE BIG GAME to some. I was absolutely convinced that admin, including Daddy, truly enjoyed the cat fights themselves and wanted that disruptive board shit to continue.

2 hours ago, SexyAsianStud said:

OK.... next case....

I love to take a sachet down memory lane. I love kicking dirt back into those nasty bitches faces. When playing in a sandbox, that's what a drag queen does when she's confronted by another cunty drag queen. Take that you bitches! And fuck you to the pussy girls who try to shut you up. 

Edited June 10, 2020 by RockHardNYC

[Buddy2]

Are we never going to freaking move on?

 

Jesus. Christ.

[Lucky]

So some will not find reconciliation with what happened. I don't really expect everyone to as some really arbitrary things did happen. Just last week Latbear4blk got a timeout for reasons which escape me. (But then, he plans to return to posting there.)

So I guess for those of you are not moving on, we should have a Daddy Box like the Sand Box where people can complain ad infinitum about Daddy...or even daddy!

[Buddy2]

Exactly, thank you, @Lucky

 

This is a wonderful site.

 

Thank,Oz. You deserve better than constant dwelling on the other site.

[AdamSmith]

The occasional vent here about the stupidities we endured there while trying to contribute there seem merited here. Just not to dwell, and move on, as said above.

But to be irritated about a vast sea of stupidity where we tried for years to contribute value, to little avail, seems not unreasonable.

[Latbear4blk]

2 hours ago, Lucky said:

 Just last week Latbear4blk got a timeout for reasons which escape me. (But then, he plans to return to posting there.)

Lucky, I am not sure what I am going to do. There are many things I have to consider to make my decision. Whatever I decide, I will not be joining the choir here.

[caeron]

 

When I hear someone say, "All lives matter," I know at once that they are an idiot or a racist, or possibly both. 

In daddy's case, I think it's probably both.

[RockHardNYC]

@SexyAsianStud

Beware of the controlling OLD queens. Many are HYPOCRITES. They will try to shut you up, try to get you to move your questions and interests elsewhere, and then try to denigrate your curiosity. All the while as they continually add useless and self-serving posts to this thread. Total HYPOCRITES.

9 hours ago, caeron said:

When I hear someone say, "All lives matter," I know at once that they are an idiot or a racist, or possibly both. 

In daddy's case, I think it's probably both.

Succinct but well said. Made me laugh, too.

11 hours ago, AdamSmith said:

The occasional vent

A much better characterization of the TRUTH. And I suspect OZ sees and fully understands this.

There are only a few drag queens here who like to exaggerate as they attempt to control others, using terms like "constant dwelling." There is no evidence of "constant dwelling" on this board. All the while their post count rises as they themselves DWELL. Total HYPOCRITES. Controlling bitches.

Edited June 10, 2020 by RockHardNYC

[Lucky]

We have people posting here who dress in drag? I didn't know that.

[SexyAsianStud]

10 hours ago, caeron said:

 

When I hear someone say, "All lives matter," I know at once that they are an idiot or a racist, or possibly both. 

In daddy's case, I think it's probably both.

it's not a question even of being "racist" or "non-racist"..... one is either "racist" or "anti-racist - there are no innocent bystanders

setting the bar high.

[Buddy2]

38 minutes ago, Lucky said:

We have people posting here who dress in drag? I didn't know that.

Yes, Someone is constantly seeking attention here by using words like queens, drag and hypocrite. Just as he did on the other site  

[caeron]

20 hours ago, SexyAsianStud said:

OK.... this question may sound naïve, and it mat sound like i have some ulterior motive in asking, but i really don't, so here it goes....

i have never in my life encountered such overt racism, ultra-rightism, hatred as i saw during my time as a participant in the daddy site -- and so much bile directed at me - questioning my identity, my credentials, making fun of me.... one particularly hateful bigot there called me "boy"...

so where do these guys come from and how did they come to assemble in one place and how do they manage to so dominate the discourse over there? like... i hnestly don't get it!

My personal hypothesis is  that board always had a sizeable faction that hired not because they liked to have sex with hot guys but because they liked the feeling of power they got. They get off on feeling better than the men they hire. They like looking down on them, and calling them names. Their own fragile sense of self-worth I would imagine would be steadied by imagining (incorrectly) escorts were more loathsome than themselves.

If those assholes can abuse an escort for free on an anonymous board, they'll do that. 

I choose not to participate. The internet is an ocean of assholes. You will go mad arguing with them if you try.

[SexyAsianStud]

19 minutes ago, caeron said:

My personal hypothesis is  that board always had a sizeable faction that hired not because they liked to have sex with hot guys but because they liked the feeling of power they got. They get off on feeling better than the men they hire. They like looking down on them, and calling them names. Their own fragile sense of self-worth I would imagine would be steadied by imagining (incorrectly) escorts were more loathsome than themselves.

If those assholes can abuse an escort for free on an anonymous board, they'll do that. 

I choose not to participate. The internet is an ocean of assholes. You will go mad arguing with them if you try.

I totally agree with you - there is definitely a weird enactment of a bizarre power dynamic happening over there - And it's a special space where one can be totally objectionable and hateful and have zero reprecussions as long as you bow and scrape to the Regime in power

One forum member pointed out to me that the attacks on me intensified and became wayyyy more personal once I posted pictures of myself and revealed myself to be a fit young Asian guy.... 

And you are right about choosing not to participate - at first I thought that airing and supporting my beliefs served a purpose there - but then I realized that discussion there really is not about principle, it is about staking about one's turf - like a dog with a bone. A place that puts power (no matter how illusory) in the hands of a nasty bigot is a dangerous place to be.

Edited June 10, 2020 by SexyAsianStud
omitted a clause