Why fall in love with an escort?

[TotallyOz]

I see this all too often. I have been there myself. But, I always tell people that falling in love with an escort and wanting to spend time with then are two different things. It rarely ends well. A relationship built on money is most always about money. That is hard to overcome. Recently, I had a friend that was telling me he was in love with a guy he met at a bar and was moving to Thailand to be with him and set up a house near the boy's family. I can't really say much other than, "are you sure this is a good idea?"  The boy is still working and I see him when I visit the bars. But, this friend thinks he is not going with customers and only working there to spend time with this friends. Hard to argue with someone in love. Is it worth it?

[floridarob]

I've found that many foreigners that travel to Thailand, fall into the same trap. And there is no talking sense to them until they are either broke or crying about how much of a fool they were.

I remember I had a friend that thought his guy would go back to working n the farm whenever he would go back to USA, the kid had softer hand than me!! The Manager of the Ambiance said that  my friends guy has at least 5 farang bf's that regularly send him money. Also that when more than one is in town at the same time is hilarious watching him try to juggle them, lol 

[TotallyOz]

9 minutes ago, floridarob said:

I've found that many foreigners that travel to Thailand, fall into the same trap. And there is no talking sense to them until they are either broke or crying about how much of a fool they were.

I remember I had a friend that thought his guy would go back to working n the farm whenever he would go back to USA, the kid had softer hand than me!! The Manager of the Ambiance said that  my friends guy has at least 5 farang bf's that regularly send him money. Also that when more than one is in town at the same time is hilarious watching him try to juggle them, lol 

Not just Thailand. I know a guy who was moving to Brazil years ago to live with his number 1 and he got down there and the boy wanted to live with him but in a home near his mother in the flavela.   Not my style. I mean this  guy's style. But, stupidity seems to be rampant around the world. Still, I would have been very happy just waking up to him each day. He was a stunner and I think you would remember him if I found a picture.

[numerito]

All through my very intensive hiring years in NY --and you know something about how intense my hiring was, @TotallyOz --, my primary rule was to avoid falling in love with one of the boys. It was difficult at times, and I had to exercise a lot of self-control, but I managed. The closest I came to breaking the rule was with with a stunner called Jason (you probably remember him, Oz), but I took cold “heart showers”, applied my big head to the situation, and escaped the fall. My mantra was —and still is— “fall in love with one boy at a time, and drop it when he leaves”. It has worked for me. 

[TotallyOz]

50 minutes ago, numerito said:

All through my very intensive hiring years in NY --and you know something about how intense my hiring was, @TotallyOz --, my primary rule was to avoid falling in love with one of the boys. It was difficult at times, and I had to exercise a lot of self-control, but I managed. The closest I came to breaking the rule was with with a stunner called Jason (you probably remember him, Oz), but I took cold “heart showers”, applied my big head to the situation, and escaped the fall. My mantra was —and still is— “fall in love with one boy at a time, and drop it when he leaves”. It has worked for me. 

I do remember. And, I like your mantra. I have one right now that is pulling at my heart strings. He speaks perfect English and is fun and kind. But, he has no tattoos. So, not good for me. I need a bit of a bad boy to capture my attention.

 

[Riobard]

Some punters cannot be disabused of their delusions about mixing with ‘ho’s’ when it’s like cats & dogs and usually cannot end well. More sensible punters can but helplessly look on from the sidelines, our warnings unheeded.  

Edited October 21, 2019 by Riobard
Splng

[Latbear4blk]

Are we really talking about falling in love? Or are we actually talking about crushes?

If we are talking about falling in love, I am sure there are many different explanations in different circumstances, but I think we all agree it is just not wise. 
 

If we are talking about crushes, don’t you think all crashes are probably doomed to end badly? I may be wrong, but I bet you the rate of relationships based on a crush going to hell is similar with ow without a transaction is involved.

[caeron]

 

So many guys are frankly delusional. The guy can like you, but that doesn't mean that money isn't the primary motivation in the relationship. I liked a lot of people I worked with. I wouldn't work with them for free.  

 

 

[AdamSmith]

I have said this here many times before:

My 3 deepest friends on earth (besides my beloved mama) are guys I first met by hiring them.

We each found personally very much in common.

After fairly many years of hiring, each said simply, ‘No more $. I am jusr your friend.’

Some of us then lived in different cities, spent $ to travel to be together,. To this day we love each other without reservation.

What is so difficult about that simple human connection?

[TotallyOz]

Friendships are much different that love relationships. IMHO  I have many guys I am friends with that are escorts. Too many to count. And, some of them are my best friend. But, I also knew how to separate a friendship from a lover. I find compartmentalizing very easy.

[AdamSmith]

2 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

But, I also knew how to separate a friendship from a lover. I find compartmentalizing very easy.

 I don't.

I find life much more interesting & involving that way.

[DRK987]

Quote

The boy is still working and I see him when I visit the bars. But, this friend thinks he is not going with customers and only working there to spend time with this friends. 

I LOL'ed

[RockHardNYC]

I have worked with so many physically beautiful people (still do), the concept of "love at first sight" escapes me. I hate bars. I especially hate their smell. So the thought of anyone falling in love in one makes me want to vomit.

I've experienced "love at first sight" hundreds of times through the years. I can say without hesitation it's the most boring, shallow love I've found. Fine for one day, maybe two, depending on the mind and personality of the individual. "Love" based on looks, cock size, or hot sex is the cheapest form of love there is. When it comes to love, the last kind I want is cheap.

Too many people have no idea what real love is. They often think it's something they've seen in movies or read in a book. Love is their fantasy. Too many gay guys are desperate to feel "love," however they define it. They confuse love with lust, and most lust is selfish, which is the furthest thing from love. Many guys are too selfish to ever discover true love in their life.

The last thing I look for in an escort is love. The idea of paying someone for "love" makes me laugh out loud. If I had a friend who professed love for an escort, I'd feel sorry for him and give him the name of a therapist. And I'd probably stop being his friend.

A lot of people have little to no meaningful companionship in life, and lonely, lust-filled situations can distort one's emotions and the meaning of love. Talented escorts know how to work vulnerable men, especially horny men. It's no different than cosmetic sales at Bergdorf's: beautiful women promising fountains of youth at ridiculous prices to aging women who aren't getting enough hugs or attention.

I like capitalism. I don't really care how anyone spends his money. But if he's shopping for love, then say hello to a fool. Maybe befriending a fool is better than having no friends at all. I'll pass.

[Craftybutcher]

On 10/22/2019 at 10:18 AM, AdamSmith said:

I have said this here many times before:

My 3 deepest friends on earth (besides my beloved mama) are guys I first met by hiring them.

We each found personally very much in common.

After fairly many years of hiring, each said simply, ‘No more $. I am jusr your friend.’

Some of us then lived in different cities, spent $ to travel to be together,. To this day we love each other without reservation.

What is so difficult about that simple human connection?

That’s a great story, do you still have sex with them, or is just friendship now......?

 

[AdamSmith]

2 hours ago, Craftybutcher said:

That’s a great story, do you still have sex with them, or is just friendship now......?

 

I can’t travel now due to a duty of elder care and we all live in different geographies but we remain in close (& frequently dirty  ) contact by phone, text etc.

[Pete1111]

I tease myself about falling in love with a couple of guys that consistently treat me well.  It's not that kind of love.yet I know there are feelings that well up inside concerning these two that may not happen with other hires.

I also know that my judgement is never impaired (so far).

Giving someone advice is tricky, especially concerning matters of the heart.  Guess you could tell him you are worried and willing to talk about it if your friend wants to.

 

[AdamSmith]

On 11/28/2019 at 3:43 PM, Pete1111 said:

I tease myself about falling in love with a couple of guys that consistently treat me well.  It's not that kind of love.yet I know there are feelings that well up inside concerning these two that may not happen with other hires.

I also know that my judgement is never impaired (so far).

Giving someone advice is tricky, especially concerning matters of the heart.  Guess you could tell him you are worried and willing to talk about it if your friend wants to.

 

Offer them a complete access to your heart & mind & ass & cock — on their terms — & see what they say.

 

[Cooperfun]

I started hiring when i was 23, not because i was ugly or anything, but because i had a very good, very lucrative, but demanding career, i was bi curious, and i didn't have the time to date. In the beginning, a lot of escorts took advantage of my ignorance of how things worked, but i did find an escort my age and who showed me everything i ever wanted. Eventually i saw him every saturday night, and we would do proper dates before heading back for fun. He still charged me, but gave me some pretty big discounts by that time. I completely fell for him. Then my job needed me to move from LA to New York, and i asked him to go with me, but he also worked porn, and his studio was in LA,  and he wasn't interested in giving it up. We met a few times over the next few years, but not much. About 6 years later he got in touch. He said he was ready to settle down, and i wasn't obsessed with him anymore, but agreed to meet for oldtimes sake. I found that time had not been kind. The years of partying and drug use had taken its toll physically and mentally, and i had to walk away. It still makes me sad. 

[boiworship]

As much as I love spending time with them, and I spend a lot, the best moments are when they text “I’m here”, and the second best is when they kiss goodbye and depart. I’ve never had any delusions about the arrangement.

That said, at least one is a friend as well as a provider, but the gulf in ages would make a bf relationship absurd.

[Latbear4blk]

18 minutes ago, boiworship said:

As much as I love spending time with them, and I spend a lot, the best moments are when they text “I’m here”, and the second best is when they kiss goodbye and depart. I’ve never had any delusions about the arrangement.

That said, at least one is a friend as well as a provider, but the gulf in ages would make a bf relationship absurd.

The age difference is not always there, and when it is, I do not think it is the major obstacle. It is really hard, almost impossible to successfully transition out of a transactional relationship. I have done it only once, and there was not "love" involved, but just friendship with benefits.