Members Latbear4blk Posted October 12, 2019 Members Posted October 12, 2019 Coming out used to be about freeing yourself. Now it’s about placating everyone else. I like this essay a lot. The article sticks me in so many ways, as a teacher who has not come out to his students but does not want to lie to them always walking in the edge, as I have very close relationships with many of my scholars. As a queer man who does not feel fully comfortable in the gay label, and has to be lecturing all the time about the particularities of my sexuality even to gay friends more fond of stereotypes. I could go on and on. In a different dimension, it also strikes me how privileged we are. We are having this post-gay conversations, in a world still poisoned by homophobia. AdamSmith 1 Quote
TotallyOz Posted October 13, 2019 Posted October 13, 2019 13 hours ago, Latbear4blk said: I like this essay a lot. The article sticks me in so many ways, as a teacher who has not come out to his students but does not want to lie to them always walking in the edge, as I have very close relationships with many of my scholars. As a queer man who does not feel fully comfortable in the gay label, and has to be lecturing all the time about the particularities of my sexuality even to gay friends more fond of stereotypes. I could go on and on. In a different dimension, it also strikes me how privileged we are. We are having this post-gay conversations, in a world still poisoned by homophobia. May I ask why you do not feel comfortable with the gay label? It is work related? Or, religious upbringing or what? I came out years ago (1994) I think and it led to the most amazing experiences I could have imagined. Quote
Members Latbear4blk Posted October 13, 2019 Author Members Posted October 13, 2019 7 hours ago, TotallyOz said: May I ask why you do not feel comfortable with the gay label? It is work related? Or, religious upbringing or what? I came out years ago (1994) I think and it led to the most amazing experiences I could have imagined. I do not feel comfortable because it is a simplification of what my sexuality actually is. I prefer the label Queer. I used to be more comfortable at the beginning of my coming out, back in Argentina, in the early 80s, because it was a questioning and open identity. I feel that has changed is radically changed, and "gay" has mostly become one more acceptable category with not much left of his questioning and open nature. Let's say that my uncomfortable feelings come from the Left, not from the Right. TotallyOz and AdamSmith 1 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 21 hours ago, Latbear4blk said: I do not feel comfortable because it is a simplification of what my sexuality actually is. I prefer the label Queer. I used to be more comfortable at the beginning of my coming out, back in Argentina, in the early 80s, because it was a questioning and open identity. I feel that has changed is radically changed, and "gay" has mostly become one more acceptable category with not much left of his questioning and open nature. Let's say that my uncomfortable feelings come from the Left, not from the Right. Exactly. For my part, over 30+ years I have turned out to like all 4 genders about equally (the romances have been about 50/50 with cis men & women). So I favor the identifier queer for myself. But then the pro forma kickback from those of us who object to that word on entirely outmoded reasons. The Left can have its Jurassic tendencies fully as much as the Right. Both must be resisted, & publicly fought when necessary. TotallyOz 1 Quote
