Lagoa was a waste of time tonight

[Riobard]

3 hours ago, Kevie770 said:

Sometimes I’m right there with Riobard and I feel like he’s being bullied... and then I read his post with all these words that that you need a MA in English to figure out and I kinda understand the bullying lol.  I swear I have had to use context clues more in this forum than I did all 5 years I spent in college lol!  But either way we should all be kind to each other and all that other Sesame Street/Barney lovey dovey shit.  While we might have different ways of describing it we all all here for the same thing! 

Kevie, my high school system in the northern boreal above the Great Lakes required we had to take, in our final year, 2 of 3: English, French, Latin. In Grade 13, I dropped English to raise my GPA for uni. To clarify, English was Literature and I sucked at it. 

I tend to free-associate quickly if there is no income at stake and in a setting where the concept of reputation is, frankly, overrated. 

I tend to struggle with the more modern idiom here and there that leaves me scratching my head. 

------

A megalomanic bully uses binding paradox and is set on the win.

For example, you may notice in the dynamics here that not responding makes me a loser because I will have let a douche get up my nose without rallying, when in fact this version and source of bullying is not lacking in prevalence ... if you are not blind, you can see many examples of blatant derision peppered among this guy's more neutral passages, a blend of contributions that has the effect of calling into question the actual grade of Trumpification that rests within the offender. 

Similarly, responding makes me a loser because I engaged with the bully and the bully asserts that means I have no life and I am a social pariah. True, reciprocal engaging tends to be generally obnoxious, meaning that I am not exempt from the responsibility of tossing similarly rude salvos. That I term deliberative isomorphism (another boring lecture)

Sure, one can take a hanky and blow out the shit cloud one walked into, walking out. That may work best for many and is certainly not a tactic I absolutely discard. 

You know you are being catfished into the bind when nonsense is spewed forth. Like this guy makes up stuff that is simply disorienting and because there may be enough naïve people around to take fake news at face value. Not being American, I am newer to this dynamic.

Perhaps you get the drift of the paradoxical bind? It is the causal agent of much interpersonal dysfunction. Essentially, a position of being damned if you do and damned if you don't. 

Moving on. If you decide to engage and see it through, you must seek and find counterparadox, and focus on the process rather than the win. Counterparadox is simply paradox, where unpredictable, ungovernable change occurs irrespective of what you do in the enterprise. Better yet, paradox put forward by the bully tends to split and multiply like the amoeba that sourced it. And I do not mean that totally disparagingly. That is simply universal generativity. It is just that bullying is primitive ... I think we agree on that.

In this example, I recognize basic intelligence and respect some reasonably well-played serves. Sometimes, not always, I think: Touché.

On recent occasions, the serves progressively degenerate into playground base name-calling and plagiarized cartoons, gifs? Whatever, you want to call them. Since patterns tend to be repetitive, I acquired a better sense of this eventuality. The outcome tends to be better when I up the ante in the opposite direction. 

I think that the opening bitchslap has been consistently, though perhaps subtly, presented by the other party. I do not, however, proclaim to be perfect. 

The point is it is not important how I express or whether you grasp it all or you need a thesaurus. Think of it as a public display of nonviolent disaffection. I am not so much writing for the collective at these times, but I do somewhat hope that some of my response represents empathy for the bullying endured by other members, sometimes dealt by the same unclassy hand.

What is important to me is the realization that some bullying simply galvanizes my energy. The paradox (remember finding the one that might fit the bully's paradoxical bind?) that has worked so far is that dissecting what I perceive to be nonsensical material and turning it on its head, no matter how unhinged I myself appear in the enterprise, while it can be mildly time-consuming, recharges my batteries and gets it across the finish line. 

It also helps that less intelligent less manipulative less committed bullies here enable a bit of practice at anti-bullying calisthenics.

Nobody need take a personal side other than anti-bullying, as you very eloquently expressed in your own way. Other than that, some forebearance is required in terms of how we individually handle the subject. Frankly, I would feel more comfortable if others got into the ring more rather than feebly 'tap out'. But I expect that there is a host of excellent reasons for that kind of pacifism and that is my problem to handle. 

Final paradox before we call it a day: Riobard can be bullied yet unbullied. So can you. Peace out.

Edited March 27, 2019 by Riobard

[SolaceSoul]

12 hours ago, Kevie770 said:

Sometimes I’m right there with Riobard and I feel like he’s being bullied... and then I read his post with all these words that that you need a MA in English to figure out and I kinda understand the bullying lol.  I swear I have had to use context clues more in this forum than I did all 5 years I spent in college lol!  But either way we should all be kind to each other and all that other Sesame Street/Barney lovey dovey shit.  While we might have different ways of describing it we all all here for the same thing! 

Kevie, there is more than one way to bully. 

Some — because all they really may have are their words that they like to believe go over your and others’ heads — will show off these words in an attempt to boss the bull around. 

It’s all he has, really. It’s why when he’s called out for it, he has to go into long diatribes trying to convince others of his omnipotence and worldliness. If he were truly that confident, he would simply let it go — not type extended soliloquys puffing out his proverbial chest.

 

Edited March 28, 2019 by SolaceSoul

[floridarob]

12 hours ago, Kevie770 said:

Sometimes I’m right there with Riobard and I feel like he’s being bullied.

Yet if you read (without falling to sleep) some of his replies, he speaks down to people and belittles them in his "jestful" manner....thinking he is better than others (a Canadian flaw).

And see what you did, you led him off on a multi paragraph rant, nothing to do with Lagoa, yet cries about thread Hijacking..... 

 

Riobard, although you look like a professor....no need to act like one on a message board where we mostly talk about hiring sex workers.......

[SolaceSoul]

1 hour ago, floridarob said:

Riobard, although you look like a professor....no need to act like one on a message board where we mostly talk about hiring sex workers.......

Rioblather certainly doesn’t look like THIS professor! 

 

While on the subject of sitcoms, Rioblather is more like our resident Cliff Clavin from “Cheers”, the obnoxious, pompous, know-it-all, abysmally single postal worker who lived in his helicopter mother’s basement and, famously, lost on “Jeopardy”. 

Here is a scene from one of my all-time favorite episodes, where Cliff, privately realizing that his obnoxious personality and verbal diarrhea keep people from wanting to befriend him, chooses to get get a therapist to wire him to an electric shock device in order to improve his personality:

 

[Kevie770]

11 hours ago, Riobard said:

Kevie, my high school system in the northern boreal above the Great Lakes required we had to take, in our final year, 2 of 3: English, French, Latin. In Grade 13, I dropped English to raise my GPA for uni. To clarify, English was Literature and I sucked at it. 

I tend to free-associate quickly if there is no income at stake and in a setting where the concept of reputation is, frankly, overrated. 

I tend to struggle with the more modern idiom here and there that leaves me scratching my head. 

------

A megalomanic bully uses binding paradox and is set on the win.

For example, you may notice in the dynamics here that not responding makes me a loser because I will have let a douche get up my nose without rallying, when in fact this version and source of bullying is not lacking in prevalence ... if you are not blind, you can see many examples of blatant derision peppered among this guy's more neutral passages, a blend of contributions that has the effect of calling into question the actual grade of Trumpification that rests within the offender. 

Similarly, responding makes me a loser because I engaged with the bully and the bully asserts that means I have no life and I am a social pariah. True, reciprocal engaging tends to be generally obnoxious, meaning that I am not exempt from the responsibility of tossing similarly rude salvos. That I term deliberative isomorphism (another boring lecture)

Sure, one can take a hanky and blow out the shit cloud one walked into, walking out. That may work best for many and is certainly not a tactic I absolutely discard. 

You know you are being catfished into the bind when nonsense is spewed forth. Like this guy makes up stuff that is simply disorienting and because there may be enough naïve people around to take fake news at face value. Not being American, I am newer to this dynamic.

Perhaps you get the drift of the paradoxical bind? It is the causal agent of much interpersonal dysfunction. Essentially, a position of being damned if you do and damned if you don't. 

Moving on. If you decide to engage and see it through, you must seek and find counterparadox, and focus on the process rather than the win. Counterparadox is simply paradox, where unpredictable, ungovernable change occurs irrespective of what you do in the enterprise. Better yet, paradox put forward by the bully tends to split and multiply like the amoeba that sourced it. And I do not mean that totally disparagingly. That is simply universal generativity. It is just that bullying is primitive ... I think we agree on that.

In this example, I recognize basic intelligence and respect some reasonably well-played serves. Sometimes, not always, I think: Touché.

On recent occasions, the serves progressively degenerate into playground base name-calling and plagiarized cartoons, gifs? Whatever, you want to call them. Since patterns tend to be repetitive, I acquired a better sense of this eventuality. The outcome tends to be better when I up the ante in the opposite direction. 

I think that the opening bitchslap has been consistently, though perhaps subtly, presented by the other party. I do not, however, proclaim to be perfect. 

The point is it is not important how I express or whether you grasp it all or you need a thesaurus. Think of it as a public display of nonviolent disaffection. I am not so much writing for the collective at these times, but I do somewhat hope that some of my response represents empathy for the bullying endured by other members, sometimes dealt by the same unclassy hand.

What is important to me is the realization that some bullying simply galvanizes my energy. The paradox (remember finding the one that might fit the bully's paradoxical bind?) that has worked so far is that dissecting what I perceive to be nonsensical material and turning it on its head, no matter how unhinged I myself appear in the enterprise, while it can be mildly time-consuming, recharges my batteries and gets it across the finish line. 

It also helps that less intelligent less manipulative less committed bullies here enable a bit of practice at anti-bullying calisthenics.

Nobody need take a personal side other than anti-bullying, as you very eloquently expressed in your own way. Other than that, some forebearance is required in terms of how we individually handle the subject. Frankly, I would feel more comfortable if others got into the ring more rather than feebly 'tap out'. But I expect that there is a host of excellent reasons for that kind of pacifism and that is my problem to handle. 

Final paradox before we call it a day: Riobard can be bullied yet unbullied. So can you. Peace out.

Whoa... 

[Riobard]

2 hours ago, Kevie770 said:

Whoa... 

I know, right? This is not the place, for bullying, that inevitably happens for reasons most of us comprehend and dislike, such as it usually involves needless crash and burn. 

And, believe me, I knew as I was writing about it that it was was going to better suited for a forum or context other than sex and travel. So I am happy to side with you and ground this discussion in favour of topics and themes that have a better chance of finding a viable runway. 

But think about this: in your mind's eye, do a loose assessment of who fits into which of two basic camps. One is those who are out to correct and monitor and inclined to finger-pointing and ridicule, the other more laid back and hospitably conflict-avoidant. Which of the two is essentially mum about details of their sexcapades and which is more playful and candid in chronicling their play? It is a sex play forum after all. 

 

[SolaceSoul]

I don’t think that “whoa” doesn’t mean what you think it means, Blatherer.

 

[SolaceSoul]

11 hours ago, SolaceSoul said:

I don’t think that “whoa” means what you think it means, Blatherer.

 

Edit.