The art of an apology.

[RockHardNYC]

Just days after it was announced that he would host the Oscar's, Kevin Hart has resigned over years-old Tweets where he called someone "gay." Initially, in his first response, he did not use the words "I'm sorry." And he arrogantly told people to "do you." So six hours later, a second attempt at a mea culpa became necessary (possibly after very fast consult with a team of experts), he finally came forth and said,

“I have made the choice to step down from hosting this year’s Oscar’s. This is because I do not want to be a distraction on a night that should be celebrated by so many amazing talented artists. I sincerely apologize to the LGBTQ community for my insensitive words from my past.”

Had he worn his smart hat, the second apology would have been the first. Had it been the first, then I would have supported that he not resign. He could have used the Oscars as an opportunity to teach the world what growth and enlightenment means, and the value of showing respect to the gay community.

It could have been a very powerful teaching moment for all to witness. A #me-too Oscars for gays, possibly with some funny jokes. And what progress we would have made having it coming from a handsome, popular, Black, somewhat macho, comedian.

A missed opportunity, for sure. It could have had profound, lasting impact.

Edited December 7, 2018 by RockHardNYC

[RockHardNYC]

Analyzing a little deeper…

Don't get me wrong here. IMO, both apologies are a disaster. And there is no way the Oscars would have agreed to a #MeToo gay show, even if it was hosted by a Black comedian leading the remorse. A girl can dream.

The first apology:
“Guys, I’m almost 40 years old. If you don’t believe that people change, grow, evolve as they get older, I don’t know what to tell you. If you want to hold people in a position where they always have to justify or explain the past, then do you. I’m the wrong guy, man. I’m in a great place. A great mature place where all I do is spread positivity.”

Just because you're rich and famous now (he was once very poor), wealth and success in Hollywood doesn't forgive your past verbal fuck-ups that somehow slipped under a rug in your gated community, even though they were deleted from Twitter. Unfortunately, his "fag" tweets were made only 8-10 years ago, when he was in his 30's. These aren't high school bloopers. The use of five "I's" in one paragraph suggests an inflated ego and a serious lack of humility. Yahoo for narcissism. He turns his apology into a discussion about himself and his attributes. (I would have preferred he just flash us his cock.)

The second apology six hours later:
“I have made the choice to step down from hosting this year’s Oscar’s. This is because I do not want to be a distraction on a night that should be celebrated by so many amazing talented artists. I sincerely apologize to the LGBTQ community for my insensitive words from my past.”

"I have made the choice." Passive voice. Poor writing. "A night that should be celebrated by so many amazing talented artists," of course he includes himself in this group, again bringing the focus to him and his greatness. And then he adds, "I sincerely apologize to the LGBTQ community for my insensitive words from my past," as if someone told him to write that sentence.

It's a shame. In the first apology, he rightly talks of personal evolution and growth. It's a story that so many can relate to. It's a story that needs to be told in the Black community. Why didn't he stay focused there? If you have to make a second apology, then you automatically know that any sincere attempt at remorse FAILED.

I'm not a Kevin Hart fanboy, but he makes me laugh at times. His personal story is an interesting one, because it truly is rags to riches. So I was hoping for a better outcome here, but he blew it. I don't think his career is over, not anywhere near that, but he lost the Oscars and it may never come back to him.

Edited December 7, 2018 by RockHardNYC

[Latbear4blk]

From my point of view, Hart shoes more civic responsibility and a superior understanding of what public service is than Justice Kavannagh. 

[RockHardNYC]

5 hours ago, RockHardNYC said:

he lost the Oscars and it may never come back to him

And he will be forever known as the Black actor/comedian who lost the Oscar host job because of his homophobic tweets. That's the danger of Twitter these days. If you seek a life of fame and fortune, what you say out loud for others to see and hear may come back to bite you in the ass. Big time.

Edited December 7, 2018 by RockHardNYC

[RanGar_0]

I will admit I haven't followed this story real close but it was my understanding from his 1st apology that he was already called out for the homophobic language he used and apologized.  I don't know if that's true or not but if it is how many times does he have to apologize.  I know I wouldn't want to have to keep apologizing for mistakes I made in the past

The below is from a Variety article I just read.  He could have handled the situation much better but I don't think he should have to keep apologizing

Quote

The turn of events followed outcry over previous anti-gay tweets, and comments Hart made during stand-up routines nearly 10 years ago. Some of the tweets were feverishly deleted throughout the day on Thursday, leading to an Instagram video from the comedian that only made matters worse for him.

“My team calls me, ‘Oh my God, Kevin, everyone’s upset by tweets you did years ago,'” he said in that video. “Guys, I’m nearly 40 years old. If you don’t believe that people change, grow, evolve as they get older, I don’t know what to tell you. If you want to hold people in a position where they always have to justify the past, do you. I’m the wrong guy, man.”

Those words rang as a defiant non-apology for many. Hours later, Hart resurfaced with another video stating that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences had given him an ultimatum: Apologize or we’ll find a new host.

“I chose to pass on the apology,” the 39-year-old actor-comedian said in the video. “The reason why I passed is because I’ve addressed this several times. This is not the first time this has come up. I’ve addressed it. I’ve spoken on it. I’ve said where the rights and wrongs were. I’ve said who I am now versus who I was then. I’ve done it. I’m not going to continue to go back and tap into the days of old when I’ve moved on and I’m in a completely different place in my life.”

 

[RockHardNYC]

2 hours ago, RanGar_0 said:

he was already called out for the homophobic language he used and apologized.  I don't know if that's true or not but if it is how many times does he have to apologize.

I spoke to a few show-biz folks (all gay) in my inner circle, and none of us were aware of any previous discussion or public apology by Hart concerning these older tweets. To be fair, none of us has followed Kevin Hart news or had seen his old stand-up show.

Hart has been on Twitter for a long time, and apparently he's quite verbose. One of my friends told me he has over 30,000 tweets. If there was a known apology before, then it surprises me that the "Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences had given him an ultimatum: Apologize or we’ll find a new host." I was also wondering if the Academy had done their own Twitter search before selecting him as host. But then I heard all those controversial tweets had been deleted. However, most everyone in Hollywood knows nothing on Twitter gets deleted forever. All it takes is one screenshot. Most know there's a screenshot-saving bring-down industry out there for celebrities who fuck-up with their bullshit-stained shoe-in-mouth disease.

Susan Fowler, Technology Op-Ed Editor at the NY Times, writes today that Kevin Hart deserves our forgiveness. Why We Need to Forgive Kevin Hart

"The truth is, we are all guilty. Can you name a person who has not lied, said something inappropriate or hurt another? I can’t."

"– we are setting standards that nobody can meet."

I don't have a problem forgiving him, but I'd want to hear more from him before I do. But none of that will save the Oscar gig. And I don't really think this topic is going away soon for him, as much as he would like it to.

Featured with the Fowler article is a candid photo of Kevin in jogging pants. He's sporting a sexy package of junk. One has to assume he's been hit-on by a homo more than once in his life. Can't help but wonder how he really feels about homosexuality. Personally, I would love the hear about his experiences. I would love to hear his story of growth and evolution.

[RanGar_0]

I read that article also.  She makes some valid points.  One of the things that puzzles me is if dealt with this previously why were the tweets still there wouldn't he have deleted them back then as a sign of being truly apologetic instead of as the Variety article stated

Quote

Some of the tweets were feverishly deleted throughout the day on Thursday

  

[RockHardNYC]

4 minutes ago, RanGar_0 said:

why were the tweets still there

I'm not sure the reporting on the tweet(s) deletion is fully accurate. But if some tweets still existed, not only does it beg the question, "Why didn't Hart remove them earlier?," it also demands, "Didn't someone from the Academy do a tweet search before they asked him to host?"

My gut is telling me there are fingers pointing in several directions. The Academy is highly sensitive about looking foolish and stupid.

[RanGar_0]

Here is an interesting article from the Chicago Tribune, "Kevin Hart isn't the problem. The Oscars are the problem."

https://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/movies/ct-ent-oscars-why-kevin-hart-doesnt-matter-1207-story.html

[RockHardNYC]

I'm not a fan of film critic Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune), but sometimes he hits the nail on the head.

"But the academy has a far more serious problem than its misguided, un-vetted initial choice of Kevin Hart as Oscar emcee.

The problem is the irrelevant chore that the Oscars have become...

Finally: The Oscars never should’ve gone after Kevin Hart. Homophobia aside, he’s a medium-grade talent. There’s enough medium-grade talents on that stage every year as it is."

Once again, the Academy looks like they have serious egg on their face.

Edited December 8, 2018 by RockHardNYC

[caeron]

 

I recall Hart apologizing about these several years ago. He must not have a proper PR person because after the apology was over then these should have all been deleted.

I think he just fails to get that once you've shown a racist/sexist/homophobic/whatever side in a big way, you don't get to just make one apology and call it over. You will have to do it repeatedly because it will keep being a thing for people who don't actually pay that much attention to you.

I can believe he changed. But doesn't mean he gets to pretend it never happened and that he doesn't have to keep addressing it.

[lookin]

1 hour ago, caeron said:

I can believe he changed. But doesn't mean he gets to pretend it never happened and that he doesn't have to keep addressing it.

Good points!  

I think there's an art to accepting an apology too.  Even a one-shot less-than- prostate prostrate apology is a step in the right direction and I'd rather err on the side of accepting it than rejecting it.  I think that makes it more likely that other positive steps will be taken down the road, and maybe others will follow the example.

And there's nothing wrong with gay folks being perceived as forgiving instead of forever furious.

RockHard says it perfectly that both the Oscars and Hart missed a chance to clean up a pile and plant some flowers.

Just as long as they're not pansies.  

 

[RockHardNYC]

25 minutes ago, lookin said:

Just as long as they're not pansies.

I love pansies. Yellow and blue remind me of Italy.

[BiBottomBoy]

They should just get Andrew Dice Clay to  host the Oscars.

[MsGuy]

Is Andrew Dice Clay still a thing?

I don't recall hearing anything about him since the 90's.

[AdamSmith]

On 12/7/2018 at 11:13 AM, Latbear4blk said:

From my point of view, Hart shoes more civic responsibility and a superior understanding of what public service is than Justice Kavannagh. 

Brilliant comparison!

Just about the only lower bar this past year.

[AdamSmith]

38 minutes ago, AdamSmith said:

Brilliant comparison!

Just about the only lower bar this past year.

But OTOH Kavanaugh is an odd case, nominated & confirmed in a very odd time & case.

I am willing to keep a (slightly) open mind.

[BiBottomBoy]

He was in A Star Is Born which looks like it will get best picture.

[RockHardNYC]

Jerry Seinfeld talks about Kevin Hart on Today

A brilliant comedian? That's what Jerry Seinfeld calls Kevin Hart. Seinfeld also says, "He (Hart) doesn't have to step down." I don't know what Jerry is smoking, but the Academy didn't give Kevin Hart much choice. "Apologize, or you're out!" Hart is out.

Seinfeld also seems to conflate Kevin Hart's stand-up act with his homophobic tweets. Perhaps Jerry should do more reading. Hart's homophobic tweets, where he questioned what he would do if his son said he was gay, were not stand-up. The tweets weren't funny at all.

Jerry asked " Who got screwed in that deal? I think Kevin is going to be fine. Find another Kevin Hart? That's not so easy." Is the Academy looking for another Kevin Hart? Not if they are willing to listen to film critic Michael Phillips' (Chicago Tribune) advice.

Jerry had Hart as a guest on his Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. It wasn't the best episode. Hart was OK, but you didn't walk away from the episode thinking "brilliant."

Does the Academy need Kevin Hart? I don't think so. I was there when Chris Rock hosted, and I thought the show sucked. If I had my way, I'd take Billy Crystal dressing in all the lead characters year after year over anyone else. That shtick was hilarious, and brilliant.

Edited December 14, 2018 by RockHardNYC

[Latbear4blk]

4 hours ago, RockHardNYC said:

Does the Academy need Kevin Hart? I don't think so. I was there when Chris Rock hosted, and I thought the show sucked. If I had my way, I'd take Billy Crystal dressing in all the lead characters year after year over anyone else. That shtick was hilarious, and brilliant.

May I ask why, out of all the mediocre Oscars hosts, you choose to compare Kevin Hart to Chris Rock?

[RockHardNYC]

4 hours ago, Latbear4blk said:

May I ask why, out of all the mediocre Oscars hosts, you choose to compare Kevin Hart to Chris Rock?

You're kidding, right? Isn't what they share in common obvious? You do realize that in 89 years of Oscar events, only 4 Black entertainers have hosted? Being Black and hosting the Oscar's is a BIG deal, in case you weren't aware.

On top of that, my comparison had nothing to do with classifying anyone as mediocre. I think Chris Rock is a mega-talent, even though the tone of his voice can often sound like nails on a chalkboard. That alone would disqualify Rock for me.

Edited December 14, 2018 by RockHardNYC

[Latbear4blk]

I was not kidding, @RockHardNYC. I am very ignorant of much of American pop culture, and neverhad interest in the Oscars. It was an honest question.

[BiBottomBoy]

Chris Rock would be a great host but they'd dig up old homophobic jokes of his too

[JKane]

8 hours ago, BiBottomBoy said:

Chris Rock would be a great host but they'd dig up old homophobic jokes of his too

People should not assume that Kevin Hart's "jokes" are being over-reacted to without reading them.  I highly doubt that Chris Rock said things like he'd kill his son if Gay, etc.  

Hart didn't get Me Too'd or caught by the PC police, when it comes to things he's said he was a deeply offensive bigot and should have been disqualified from the start.  Still he was given an opportunity to apologize and didn't.  Fuck him.  

[RockHardNYC]

22 minutes ago, JKane said:

I highly doubt that Chris Rock said things like he'd kill his son if Gay, etc.  

That's a bit outrageous. I haven't seen any evidence that Kevin Hart said or wrote that "he'd kill his son if Gay."

At this point, you can't believe most of what you find on the internet. People in the bleachers say a lot of shit. Too many haters. Screenshots can be easily doctored.

To my knowledge, these are actual quotes from Hart:

“Yo if my son comes home & try’s 2 play with my daughters doll house I’m going 2 break it over his head & say n my voice ‘stop that’s gay.’”

"One of my biggest fears is my son growing up and being gay. That's a fear. Keep in mind, I'm not homophobic….Be happy. Do what you want to do. But me, as a heterosexual male, if I can prevent my son from being gay, I will."

Please note: no mention of killing anyone.