Lack of patience for the obvious

[Tartegogo]

I am terrible whenever someone is uttering sentences whose meanings are concepts that (to my mind) should be obvious to everyone in the room. 

I want to scream “TELL ME SOMETHING WE DONT KNOW!” “YOU ARE WASTING OUR TIME” “HOW COULD YOU IMAGINE THAT WE DONT KNOW THIS ALREADY?”

The obvious is too boring for me to handle it calmly and quietly.

This is true in my work life, private life, online life (as recently demonstrated and chastised here).

So I have questions for you guys:

1. How do you guys handle it internally? Do you have the same internal brain reaction, or do you just not mind having to spend 2 minutes listening to something where there is no new or useful information? 

2. If you are having the same brain reaction as me, how do successfully prevent yourselves from uttering snarky and hurtful remarks like “we know that already, can we move on to the good stuff? “

3. If you are not having such reaction, can I learn to become more like you? Or am I a a lost cause that was borne with no patience for my fellow humans, and that is my curse? 

[Suckrates]

Obviously, you can tell I dont like BULLSHIT, and have no patience or tolerance for it,  and will say so right of the bat.  I have always believed in getting to the point, and cutting your losses and have no time for allowing others to "perform" for me.    So I guess, like you, I will shut it down right away.  Not sure that attitude comes with age?  I've always been this way.  Even at work, if a boss tried to explain how to do something that I already knew how to do, I would say "I know" right away and spare him ... Probably not courteous, but its Efficient !  

My attention span only allows for interesting, useful information and people that can deliver it.  Why be stuck in a place you've already been ?  

[Tartegogo]

6 hours ago, Suckrates said:

Obviously, you can tell I dont like BULLSHIT

Interesting how you use the word Bullshit.  Isn’t bullshit different from useless? 

I usually use the word bullshit for things that are clearly wrong or misleading or plain lies. Maybe it can be used more widely.

Incorrect is extremely annoying of course, but I am being annoyed even with things that are perfectly true, just “no new information here”.

[Suckrates]

6 minutes ago, Tartegogo said:

Interesting how you use the word Bullshit.  Isn’t bullshit different from useless? 

I usually use the word bullshit for things that are clearly wrong or misleading or plain lies. Maybe it can be used more widely.

Incorrect is extremely annoying of course, but I am being annoyed even with things that are perfectly true, just “no new information here”.

 

I often use Bullshit and useless interchangeably.....  BOTH are things I dont need in my life. 

[RA1]

I  used to be that way.  My friends said that I don't suffer fools lightly.  But as I grew older I found that I tolerated more meaningless chatter as a matter of course.  However, I do not go out of my way to expose myself to such.  Hanger talk aka BS is a way of life for pilots and I suppose I have adopted the idea that if they listen to mine I will listen to theirs.  OTOH I don't hang out with Wall street brokers or any others who are engaging in their industry BS. Patience is a virtue  but being over virtuous might be a sin of pride.

Best regards,

RA1 

[TotallyOz]

I have always felt the way my mom taught me is best 99 percent of the time and that is, if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all. I learned the hard ways years back.  I have never understood the need for anyone on a message board to be critical of another poster, post or thread.  I like Suckrates photos, for the most part, but the ones that he posts that are all the big older muscle guys, do nothing for me. So, I look and I go on to the next thing.  I do not feel the need to say, "ooh, that is not sexy" or anything else.

I did not think your post that I know you are referring to was horrible. But, you said details were boring. That was for you. Not for me as it was useful information to me. But, you could have said it in a much kinder way. IMHO. 

[Tartegogo]

31 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

Not for me as it was useful information to me. 

Side note, not important: I am still very surprised that some people here (among those who have a driving licence) haven’t been through the process of renting a car and choosing insurance options. It is the same boring admin process everywhere in the world these days. It used to be slightly different per country, but not anymore. 

31 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

But, you could have said it in a much kinder way.

I am going to have to rethink how I say things, then.

But I do prefer a place where you can say what you dislike as well as what you like. 

How am I ever going to improve if no one is allowed to give me negative feedback or even chastise me if they are seriously annoyed?

31 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

I do not feel the need to say, "ooh, that is not sexy" or anything else.

Physical appearance is not something one can easily change, same for one’s physical preferences.  So like you, I also would not comment on either (if I ever do please chastise me, I will have deserved it).

This is unlike what you write about, that can be changed over time as you mature, or through feedback. 

I would want people to tell me how to improve, that is why I felt it could be useful. 

Anyway, I will think and rewrite multiple times to try and be kinder before posting. I thought I had done a decent job, but given the reaction, clearly not.

I still don’t know how to prevent the screams in my head, though, lol. 

[TotallyOz]

7 minutes ago, Tartegogo said:

Side note, not important: I am still very surprised that some people here (among those who have a driving licence) haven’t been through the process of renting a car and choosing insurance options. It is the same boring admin process everywhere in the world these days. It used to be slightly different per country, but not anymore.

Be surprised. I have NEVER rented a car outside of the USA or Canada.  I have been to 80 countries so I am not a novice. I found the information valuable.  You are smarter than me so you didn't.  But, I found it interesting, relevant and something that made me consider doing it the next time I visit Brazil.  In other words, it made me think. 

[RockHardNYC]

12 hours ago, Tartegogo said:

The obvious is too boring for me to handle it calmly and quietly.

Boredom isn't the issue for me. Wasting people's time is. If I attend a creative meeting and someone "states the obvious" as the next new idea, that someone is called out immediately, especially if thinking outside the box is the goal. When I worked in corporate, some executives loved to browbeat their underlings. Others were softer and kinder. I go both ways depending on the person I'm dealing with. Some people are more brain-dead and brain-lazy than others. Most people don't enjoy being browbeat, and will hate you for it. I'm not a fan of using hate to motivate. The bottom line is: nobody is perfect, and one day my brain won't function as fast as it once did. If what-goes-around-comes-around is reality, I'd put a bit more thought into how I treat others, and how I want to be treated when the time comes.

20 minutes ago, Tartegogo said:

haven’t been through the process of renting a car and choosing insurance options. It is the same boring admin process everywhere in the world these days. It used to be slightly different per country, but not anymore. 

I find renting a car in Europe to still have its differences. For one, many offices do not offer an English-language contract. Good luck with that if English is your only language. Another very important difference: renters need to photograph their car before removing it from the rental lot. If you don't photograph your car and the rental company charges you later for damages that you didn't cause, a very popular procedure these days, you will not have a good case by which to defend your innocence.

[MsAnn]

It's possible that you are #3. But lack of patience is not a curse, it's who you are, and you might have to make a few adjustments and bite your tongue every now and again.

3. If you are not having such reaction, can I learn to become more like you? Or am I a a lost cause that was borne with no patience for my fellow humans, and that is my curse? 

I have more patience, but then again, I have the few minutes to spend listening, and I think it's a bit arrogant to assume everything they are going to say is trite or trivial or obvious. I was also raised with a social etiquette that would probably prevent me from being unnecessarily rude or inconsiderate to someone I was involved in a conversation with. As a quick example, I was listening to a neighbor the other day, who is an ex-IRS agent, explain to me how our accountant was reconciling the books. There have been some issues, which I was fully aware, so I thoroughly understood the basis for the conversation, but the issues had all been resolved. She was slow, methodical, and perhaps unnecessarily tedious in her explanation to me, but I was patient, and allowed her the time. Then quite unexpectedly, on a side note, she mentioned a new Florida Statute which became law in July. I had read about it, but didn't realize it was applicable to our situation. It will mean making some changes that ultimately will be for the better. 

You never know what kind of information someone might give you. Everyone has a story to tell, and sometimes those stories are interesting, and other times...well, not so much.

[Tartegogo]

1 hour ago, RockHardNYC said:

Another very important difference: renters need to photograph their car before removing it from the rental lot. If you don't photograph your car and the rental company charges you later for damages that you didn't cause,

If the car you are renting has some damage, I recommend that you do that in every country, even in the US. American rental companies will also charge you for damages! And they don’t keep a record of every dent on their own cars between 2 customers. 

If it doesn’t have any damage, then, no need to do that in any country.

[Suckrates]

2 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

I have always felt the way my mom taught me is best 99 percent of the time and that is, if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all. I learned the hard ways years back.  I have never understood the need for anyone on a message board to be critical of another poster, post or thread.  I like Suckrates photos, for the most part, but the ones that he posts that are all the big older muscle guys, do nothing for me. So, I look and I go on to the next thing.  I do not feel the need to say, "ooh, that is not sexy" or anything else.

I did not think your post that I know you are referring to was horrible. But, you said details were boring. That was for you. Not for me as it was useful information to me. But, you could have said it in a much kinder way. IMHO. 

 

I think people just feel they ARE participating when they post any comment, pro or con.   I equate it to as if I was having an in person conversation, and the person i was speaking with said "I love those older muscle dudes"...  I wouldnt just sit there and not say anything.  I would either say "So do I"  OR  "they are so not my type"....  So that same civil discourse is translated , at least by me, to a message board, and I will post my feelings, positive or negative if I feel strongly enough about a topic, comment or pic.  II thought that was the purpose of these public boards, to share opinions?...Nothing in the rules about those opinions always staying positive and agreeable.   But I suppose it really just depends on the type of person you are ?   I am here to participate. .   .  

[TotallyOz]

 

[Suckrates]

18 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

 

 

Good advice, but not always applicable and practical for every occasion.   One size NEVER fits all.....  (did I say that nicely ?)  

[TotallyOz]

Just now, Suckrates said:

 

Good advice, but not always applicable and practical for every occasion.   One size NEVER fits all.....

99% of the time it works!

Be nice!

[Suckrates]

7 minutes ago, TotallyOz said:

99% of the time it works!

Be nice!

 

I'll stick with the other 1%....

 

Mr Oz...

[MsAnn]

LOL...OK, but if someone calls me a cocksucker or my mamma a whore, I ain't gonna be nice.   Except that the guy with the plaid shirt and cut off sleeves could call me anything he wants.

[RockHardNYC]

4 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

I have always felt the way my mom taught me is best 99 percent of the time and that is, if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all.

My grandmother used that line of wisdom on me numerous times in my youth. It worked well for a long time. Then I moved to NYC. Nice will often get you killed here. Nice needs to be used with discretion.

4 hours ago, TotallyOz said:

I have never understood the need for anyone on a message board to be critical of another poster, post or thread.

You're not a troll, and you clearly don't get your jollies by behaving like one.

1 hour ago, Tartegogo said:

If it doesn’t have any damage, then, no need to do that in any country.

You are very wrong, and your advice is very bad advice. If you posted that advice on a travel board, your post would be flagged. You assume the word "damage" means the same thing in all countries. It does not. For instance, my brand new Audi from FCO this past April had 12 x's marked on the car diagram in the contract. I photographed the car and did not see any damage. I noticed on the contract a very low mileage for the car. It was practically brand new. I said to the agency rep, "Cosa riguarda?" He proceeded to point out minor nicks and scratches, the sort of "damage" almost no U.S. agency would care about or classify in such a way. There are numerous folks on U.S. travel boards who report those nicks and scratches adding 600€ to their rental bill. By signing your name to the European contract, you give the agency the right to charge your credit card for any "damage" they find after you drop off the car, provided they left your contract "open."

[Suckrates]

1 hour ago, MsAnn said:

LOL...OK, but if someone calls me a cocksucker or my mamma a whore, I ain't gonna be nice.   Except that the guy with the plaid shirt and cut off sleeves could call me anything he wants.

 

OH please, call me a Cocksucker.....That would mean you Noticed  and my scabby knees werent for nuthin  !   

[Tartegogo]

5 hours ago, RockHardNYC said:

You are very wrong, and your advice is very bad advice. If you posted that advice on a travel board, your post would be flagged. You assume the word "damage" means the same thing in all countries. It does not. For instance, my brand new Audi from FCO this past April had 12 x's marked on the car diagram in the contract. I photographed the car and did not see any damage. I noticed on the contract a very low mileage for the car. It was practically brand new. I said to the agency rep, "Cosa riguarda?" He proceeded to point out minor nicks and scratches, the sort of "damage" almost no U.S. agency would care about or classify in such a way. There are numerous folks on U.S. travel boards who report those nicks and scratches adding 600€ to their rental bill. By signing your name to the European contract, you give the agency the right to charge your credit card for any "damage" they find after you drop off the car, provided they left your contract "open."

Dude, I am European. Most of my friends are Europeans.   I have never heard of what you are talking about. Charges for invisible damage?

I have rented cars across Europe many times, in England, France, Belgium, Switzerland, Croatia, and Turkey. Never had the slightest problem about damage that was not obvious. This is completely news to me.

[RockHardNYC]

1 minute ago, Tartegogo said:

Dude, I am European.

Can't say that Europeans experience the same things as non-Europeans. You have to show your driver's license when you rent a car, and mine is U.S.

Some tourists call it a scam, but reputable travel boards won't allow that language to describe a legit business in a foreign country. I know what I know from my perspective and experience. I don't try to speak for anyone else.

[Tartegogo]

14 minutes ago, RockHardNYC said:

Can't say that Europeans experience the same things as non-Europeans. You have to show your driver's license when you rent a car, and mine is U.S.

Some tourists call it a scam, but reputable travel boards won't allow that language to describe a legit business in a foreign country. I know what I know from my perspective and experience. I don't try to speak for anyone else.

I can see that happening when they know they will never get your business again anyway.

I have been scammed in the US. Rental companies have been charging my credit card for not returning the car with a full tank, even though I pointed out when returning the car that I had just filled it. 2 days later, an extra 25 dollars was added with an email explaining the reason: gas charge. I tried to appeal, no reply, I threatened to dis them on every forum on the internet, still nothing, in the end I had to strike them completely from my list of potential rental companies. Who wants to work with dishonest practices?

You got to teach them the hard way. They only learn when they loose cash because they loose customers. 

[mvan1]

15 minutes ago, Tartegogo said:

 

I have been scammed in the US. Rental companies have been charging my credit card for not returning the car with a full tank, even though I pointed out when returning the car that I had just filled it. 2 days later, an extra 25 dollars was added with an email explaining the reason: gas charge. I tried to appeal, no reply, I threatened to dis them on every forum on the internet, still nothing, in the end I had to strike them completely from my list of potential rental companies. Who wants to work with dishonest practices?

. 

Assuming you retained copies of their e-mail charging you for gas and assuming you had a receipt for the gas purchase just before you returned the car, all you had to do was call your credit card company and dispute the charge for the gas.  You would also have to advise the credit care company that you notified the rental car company of the issue and that you were ignored.  

 

[Tartegogo]

18 minutes ago, mvan1 said:

Assuming you retained copies of their e-mail charging you for gas and assuming you had a receipt for the gas purchase just before you returned the car, all you had to do was call your credit card company and dispute the charge for the gas.  You would also have to advise the credit care company that you notified the rental car company of the issue and that you were ignored.  

 

I don’t care enough about 25 dollars to do this, actually. But I care about weeding out dishonest practices. 

[RockHardNYC]

48 minutes ago, Tartegogo said:

I can see that happening when they know they will never get your business again anyway.

There is that. For those who refuse to pay their surprise bill, certain foreign car agencies are now selling the debt to U.S. debt collectors. If car renters ignore the debt collector, it could affect their credit rating. It has gotten uglier in travel these days. When the economy sucks, businesses looks for a way to maneuver through the rough waters.

53 minutes ago, Tartegogo said:

I have been scammed in the US. Rental companies have been charging my credit card for not returning the car with a full tank, even though I pointed out when returning the car that I had just filled it.

As mvan1 points out, if you can prove you paid for the fill-up within the mile limit each agency now provides, you can't be victim of a "scam" if you paid by a U.S. credit card (Visa, MC, Amex). The United States has laws that protect consumers from most "scams." The EU has different laws.

Also, in the U.S., most complaints are better served by writing to the CEO of the company rather than threatening yelling on the internet. I've had several snafu's through the years, and every letter I sent received a very positive response. Sometimes it yielded a free rental. This often doesn't work in Europe, because many of the big name agencies are franchised, and the CEO in America does not govern foreign operations. Many U.S. tourists don't know this.