RIP Anthony Bourdain

[Latbear4blk]

6 hours ago, RockHardNYC said:

I can't imagine this. There is so much negativity in travel, especially on the travel days. A career on the road can truly wear a person down, but if I had to pick one thing to cause depression, it wouldn't be bad food in an airport. Just looking at the slobs of this world and the way people present themselves in public is enough to make any sane person sick.

I've traveled professionally all my life. I was on-the-road with a pop star for six years early on. There are aspects to love - I still love discovering new places - but there are plenty of aspects to hate. Every time I come home from a trip, no matter how much fun I had, I walk into my fabulous New York apartment and I say out loud, "It sure is nice to be home."

Perhaps you should make a harder effort to step out of your shoes and your fabulous NY apartment, and get in Bourdain's skin. He was a chef and a professional traveler. He may have been suffering from clinical depression. He brings the bad burger example in the episode I was referring. 

It is not about what we can or cannot imagine we would do. It is about trying to connect with his way of experiencing life. 

I would not get depressed because a bad burger either. However I do relate to the experience of letting one little thing to paint the whole universe in one color. 

[AdamSmith]

1 hour ago, Latbear4blk said:

Perhaps you should make a harder effort to step out of your shoes and your fabulous NY apartment, and get in Bourdain's skin. He was a chef and a professional traveler. He may have been suffering from clinical depression. He brings the bad burger example in the episode I was referring. 

It is not about what we can or cannot imagine we would do. It is about trying to connect with his way of experiencing life. 

I would not get depressed because a bad burger either. However I do relate to the experience of letting one little thing to paint the whole universe in one color.

To differ: I think @RockHard is saying He Has Had Enough of It.

At age 58, I certainly have.

Now, when software companies that I write about entreat me to fly, on their nickel, to the infinitely desirous environs of Las Vegas or, mirable dictu, Orlando  -- I can reply:

'I cannot travel any more. I have a duty of parental eldercare.

I will have to cover your pronunciamentos via your Internet publications, from my home desk here in Raleigh NC.'

I get ten times more done that way than my competitors.

[Latbear4blk]

3 minutes ago, AdamSmith said:

To differ: I think @RockHard is saying He Has Had Enough of It.

At age 58, I certainly have.

Now, when software companies that I write about entreat me to fly, on their nickel, to the infinitely desirous environs of Las Vegas or, mirable dictu, Orlando  -- I can reply:

'I cannot travel any more. I have a duty of parental eldercare.

I will have to cover your pronunciamentos via your Internet publications, from my home desk here in Raleigh NC.'

I get ten times more done that way than my competitors.

Well, I cannot speak for @RockHardNYC, but when I read his post, it seems to me he is using his personal experience to discredit Anthony's. That is what I am arguing against in the post you quoted. 

[AdamSmith]

25 minutes ago, Latbear4blk said:

Well, I cannot speak for @RockHardNYC, but when I read his post, it seems to me he is using his personal experience to discredit Anthony's. That is what I am arguing against in the post you quoted. 

I thought, to the contrary, that @RockHard was supporting Bourdain's choice.

[Suckrates]

1 hour ago, Latbear4blk said:

Well, I cannot speak for @RockHardNYC, but when I read his post, it seems to me he is using his personal experience to discredit Anthony's. That is what I am arguing against in the post you quoted. 

 

I'm still trying to figure out WHAT "the fabulous NY apt" had to do with anything, other than the usual zinger to the rest of us !   These are MY triggers in those posts.  It added nothing to the response other than a self-serving accolade which for me was out of place and tacky. .

[Latbear4blk]

14 minutes ago, Suckrates said:

 

I'm still trying to figure out WHAT "the fabulous NY apt" had to do with anything, other than the usual zinger to the rest of us !   These are MY triggers in those posts.  It added nothing to the response other than a self-serving accolade which for me was out of place and tacky. .

Please, remember this thread is about Bourdain. 

[RockHardNYC]

1 hour ago, Latbear4blk said:

it seems to me he is using his personal experience to discredit Anthony's

Not at all. Like I said, I know professional travel all too well. I know there are many reasons these days to say, "Fuck it, no more!"

The difference between Anthony and I (there are many), I am not depressed. While I sympathize greatly with people who suffer from depression, I can't truly step into their shoes. If I were the chosen caregiver of someone who was depressed, then I would force myself and try, but it would be very difficult. Frankly, I prefer to stay as far away from depression as possible. That is one disease I find very scary. The father of one of my closest friends suffered from depression. It was a situation of extreme sorrow and misery.

1 hour ago, AdamSmith said:

I think @RockHard is saying He Has Had Enough of It.

Sometimes I get the feeling that Adam Smith knows me too well.

Professional travel, I have had enough of it. I continue to do it because I am well paid. But I could stop tomorrow if I had to with no regret.

1 hour ago, AdamSmith said:

I thought, to the contrary, that @RockHard was supporting Bourdain's choice.

I do support his choice. I know a few people who have committed suicide. I gave the eulogy for one at his funeral, and I defended his right to take his own life, given the great pain he was in. I support right-to-die-with-dignity legislation in every U.S. state. Nobody in severe pain should have to fly to Switzerland to end his or her life.

[Suckrates]

28 minutes ago, Latbear4blk said:

Please, remember this thread is about Bourdain. 

Yes, I know, that's my point exactly.  Until others decided to make it about themselves.   Thank you. 

[Latbear4blk]

[Latbear4blk]

[Tartegogo]

He seems to have said a few truths as well:

“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” - Anthony Bourdain 

[Latbear4blk]

6 hours ago, Tartegogo said:

He seems to have said a few truths as well:

“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” - Anthony Bourdain 

I love that quote. I will make it my motto.

[JKane]

My Tivo has about 6 or so episodes recorded, last night I watched West Virginia.  It was heartbreaking to see how damn good he was at becoming a local *and taking you with him*.  His and my politics and other views differ greatly from the people of that location and yet you could see their point of view perhaps clearer than any other way, appreciate them and their culture for what it is, and come out with changed perceptions.  

I highly recommend that episode.  

[AdamSmith]

16 hours ago, Latbear4blk said:

I love that quote. I will make it my motto.

I think I will put it on my tombstone.

[AdamSmith]

At the risk of everything sacred... 

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-french-chef/n8667

[MsAnn]

http://thefederalist.com/2018/06/13/ultimately-took-kate-spade-anthony-bourdain-wasnt-mental-illness-something-worse/

 

 

What Ultimately Took Kate Spade And Anthony Bourdain Wasn’t Mental Illness. It Was Something Worse

Let us be intellectually honest about the sorrows of this life. Perhaps then, through a lens of sorrow, we can see the one, eternal hope that renders death not proud.

 

By Caroline D'Agati

June 13, 2018

 

In college, a quote hung on my wall: “Here I am. This is me. Get the h-ll out of the way.” To a nobody from New Jersey who dreamed of bigger things, it was the battle cry of someone who knew his greatest asset was his grit. This kind of person embraced life and was ready to conquer it. That quote was from Anthony Bourdain.

Like most fans, I’ve spent the last few days wondering how a man of such fire and tenacity could die so defeated. I loved Bourdain for his zest for life and ability to overcome his demons. His skill at simultaneously getting under someone’s skin and into their hearts showed the world what a New Jersey boy is at his best. He lived life so deeply, yet died so hopeless. That shatters me.These tragedies are an opportunity for us all to take stock of the world around us. Let us be intellectually honest about the sorrows of this life. Perhaps then, through a lens of sorrow, we can see the one, eternal hope that renders death not proud.

Yes, Suicide Is About Other People, Too

Since the world’s loss of Bourdain and Kate Spade, the Internet has been ablaze about the cause, effects, and prevention of suicide. Many are quick to object to the observation that suicide is selfish, saying it is instead the result of overwhelming mental illness. Still others have pointed out the surviving children of Spade and Bourdain and how these tragedies will follow them their whole lives.

I think it’s cruel to say suicide is selfish, but I also know this: I’m angry at Anthony and Kate. I’m angry for the sake of their children and their loved ones. But I’m also angry for myself. Like millions around the globe, these people brought joy into my life. I’ll always remember how, when I was unemployed, a friend gave me her Kate Spade bag and it lifted my spirits. I’ll remember that my first purchases for my new iPod in college were episodes of “No Reservations.”

We loved these people because they helped us see something in the world that brightened the monotony or sadness of our lives. Their curiosity, creativity, and joy gave us a reason to have some, too.To take their own lives was a repudiation of the beauty and joy that they brought to us. They gave us something marvelous then took it back in the most devastating way. Knowing the tragic end of Robin Williams, who can watch “Mrs. Doubtfire” and laugh as she did before? Who can listen to David Foster Wallace encourage college graduates without weeping over his own unheeded advice? And now Tony’s warm humor and Kate’s cheerful creations, too, carry the musty perfume of the grave.

Where once we saw the magic and joy of being human, now we can only see the scars. The world’s reaction to these deaths is proof that suicide is never about one person. It stirs humanity because we’re all reminded that the bell, too, tolls for us.

Suicide Isn’t Always about Mental Illness

Another coping mechanism we’ve turned to is to blame the deaths on stigmas about mental health. Many believe these deaths were caused by a disease as biologically unstoppable as Parkinson’s or dementia. Still others see them as a deficiency of tangible things like valuable relationships and physical upkeep. Again, I think the truth is somewhere in between.

Of course, take medication, go on vacations, quit your horrible job, go to counseling—for heaven’s sake, do whatever you must to preserve your life. But what happens when you are fighting on all of those fronts and death still wins? In a dark night of the soul, there aren’t enough friends, money, or experiences to distract someone from the Big Empty.Every human being must at some time confront the same disease that claimed Anthony, Kate, Robin, and every other person who takes his or her life: meaninglessness. Why are we here and is this life worth living? It’s a sobering thought.

Friedrich Nietzsche—another struggler—said that anyone with a “why” to live could endure almost any how. These wealthy, accomplished people had some of the most marvelous “hows” anyone could imagine. Yet none of it could make up for the lack of “why.”

There is a reason trauma victims, combat survivors, and celebrities are so vulnerable to suicide. Victims of abuse and witnesses to war are exposed to a depth of humanity that many of us never get to. The lowest lows show us just how depraved and hopeless this world can be.

Those with everything are often no different. The highest highs show us that, no matter what we achieve or acquire, the hopelessness doesn’t go away. Both the king and the pauper stare life in the face and see that it’s merely “vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”

The Antidote to Meaninglessness

In one sense, I agree with Kate and Tony: they were right to be broken-hearted. This is a broken world that neither they nor you nor I will ever be able to set right. Gunmen will continue to kill. Terrorists will bomb. Disease and poverty will ravage. And in 150 years, mourners, victims, saviors, and perpetrators alike will be equally forgotten. The abyss of time makes no distinctions between the hero and the villain.As Kate, Anthony, Robin, and so many other entertainers show, even giving joy to others, in the end, is not enough. So in the end, why bother? How can we not be defeated when we set our eyes on the brokenness of this world? The answer: to fix our eyes on another world. The writer C.S. Lewis famously said that, “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” If we believe this life is all there is, the darkness will blind us to the majesty and beauty of life.Suicide is the tragic, but reasonable response to being confronted by life’s reality with no salve of deeper meaning to bandage the wound. This is why a life without God, no matter how grand, will always leave our hearts unfulfilled.

So please, take medication. Talk to your family. Go get treatment. Your life is precious to God and the people around you. It is worth fighting for. But no matter what help those things bring, our hearts only find true peace when they live for the one who created them. I wish my friends Kate and Anthony had felt that peace.

Caroline D'Agati is a writer, former park ranger, and New Jersey expatriate living in DC. She studied English at Georgetown and media studies at The New School. You can follow her on Twitter at @carodagati.

[Latbear4blk]

5 hours ago, MsAnn said:

Suicide is the tragic, but reasonable response to being confronted by life’s reality with no salve of deeper meaning to bandage the wound. This is why a life without God, no matter how grand, will always leave our hearts unfulfilled.

I was absolutely loving this article until she brought the need for God to the table.  She is wrong there, projecting her own need. But everything else is very well thought and articulated. Thank you for sharing this.

[TotallyOz]

3 hours ago, Latbear4blk said:

I was absolutely loving this article until she brought the need for God to the table.  She is wrong there, projecting her own need. But everything else is very well thought and articulated. Thank you for sharing this.

Me too. The God thing took away from the message for me.

[Guest Larstrup]

3 hours ago, Latbear4blk said:

I was absolutely loving this article until she brought the need for God to the table.  She is wrong there, projecting her own need. But everything else is very well thought and articulated. Thank you for sharing this.

 Taking ones own life has no singular definition or reason as to why; as is our understanding of what any one person needed prior. 

Organized religion has almost every answer as how to deal with every human emotion and setback in life;  just listen to the Joel Osteen’s of the world as they preach their multi-million dollar sermons every Sunday on TV, As they turn away flood victims in need during a hurricane.

But I digress.

None of them have any true answers to our problems because they are as mortal  and flawed as we are.

 They’re just selling us Tide detergent pods, which really do cleanse and solve our problems to give us hope and answers. God isn’t the answer here, nor has he or she ever been so before.

Hope. It’s what everyone desperately and deeply needs and wants,  because none of us have that when we experience the most painful moments and events in our lives.

So, religion,  sells us that hope and the relief from our pain and fear of the moment we are in and the fear of the unknown. 

 The fact is, we’re all on our own.  There is not one man or woman on this planet who knows anything about what happens to us when these type moments arrive upon our doorstep. 

So many turn to the comfort of God and religion which in turn has absolutely no answers for our pain or answers to the questions that we so desperately seek in the moment of our despair.  We  rely on these people to explain this to us, who can’t honestly  explain it for themselves. But they sell us hope. 

If we’re looking for religion to ease our pain and sorrow, we’ve stopped trying to understand what happened to the one which brought us to this moment in time.

And even then, most of us will never know, because these moments in time, typically seem to be about the quiet personal suffering of others which our society has deemed to be a personal flaw in our own personal character. 

 Most people do not commit suicide.  The very definition of commitment is being aware of what you’re doing. Most people who take their lives, are unable to make that distinction. 

 It’s about time we understand that fact  and do whatever we can to prevent it. It will never be cured by religion. 

It’s about us as individuals knowing each other, Loving each other, and knowing when something is wrong with any of the above.

Everyday, our society poisons us about one thing or another. Until we, as individuals, realize that and choose to turn that fact around - many of us will continue to take our lives.

This isn't a God problem, this is a societal problem, and even more than that, it's a medical problem which we have sadly deemed as mental health. your mental health and my mental health is as important as our aging problems for arthritis, sight, cardiac and being eighteen, being infected with what we have failed to cure before we infected our youth with.

[Latbear4blk]

One of the very interesting to me things in her essay was her beautiful argumentation for the inherent meaninglessness and fruitlessness of life, to knock you out with a sudden and absolutely unexpected punch of superstition. It is a kind of intellectually dishonest and untalented trick that contradicts the beauty of 90% of the article. 

I think it even weakens her ultimate goal, because her ultimate argument is that we must believe not because God exists and is good, but because we need Him. 

[AdamSmith]

Only thing I can think to post:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism

I agree, deeply.

[Latbear4blk]

1 hour ago, AdamSmith said:

Only thing I can think to post:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism

I agree, deeply.

[Guest Larstrup]

42 minutes ago, Latbear4blk said:

This is fine if you’re not the one taking his/her life Or saying to the homeless  that their plight(s) is not a problem to be solved, but one  to be experienced. This is complicated, but it can’t be dismissed with this. 

[AdamSmith]

1 hour ago, Larstrup said:

This is fine if you’re not the one taking his/her life Or saying to the homeless  that their plight(s) is not a problem to be solved, but one  to be experienced. This is complicated, but it can’t be dismissed with this. 

I have been homeless, and I differ. Most sublime period of my life, to date.

[Latbear4blk]

6 hours ago, Larstrup said:

This is fine if you’re not the one taking his/her life Or saying to the homeless  that their plight(s) is not a problem to be solved, but one  to be experienced. This is complicated, but it can’t be dismissed with this. 

Dismissed? If you think this is a dismissive statement, I do not think you understand existentialism.