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AdamSmith

'Why Stormy Daniels Is Different'

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18 hours ago, Goober said:

Evidently, the beautiful NYC weather this week is keeping Melania, Stinky's children (the ones we know about) and MAGAts away from supporting Stinky at his trial. Sad đŸ˜Ș

Such lies! What do you mean beautiful weather - President Pinocchio keeps telling us how cold it is inside the court house. I am collecting funds to buy him a snuggie  won't you pls contribute??

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NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In a twist that surprised even the most hardened trial watchers, Donald J. Trump’s hush money trial came to a sudden conclusion on Wednesday after the defendant issued a full confession while soundly asleep.

Trump, who had been snoring vigorously all morning, began mumbling shortly after 10 a.m. despite Judge Juan M. Merchan’s admonishment that he quiet down.

His eyes still closed, the indicted businessman blurted, “I had sexual relationships with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, then orchestrated an elaborate hush money conspiracy to corrupt the 2016 election.”

The courtroom was dumbfounded to hear Trump issue not only a complete confession but also a complete sentence, witnesses said.

As Trump’s head bobbed forward and he resumed snoring, his lawyers gathered their papers with an air of resignation and quietly filed out of the courtroom.

His lead attorney, Todd Blanche, was philosophical about the trial ending so prematurely, telling reporters, “We probably weren’t going to get paid anyway.”

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