Wet & Wild Boat Tour Puerto Vallarta

[torogen]

I originally posted this at Daddy's Reviews in response to a question, but I almost never visit that site, and I prefer to contribute here, so here's my take on the Wet & Wild Boat Tour:

I have done the tour twice, once with a friend and once alone. The owner/operator/host is a hyped up (understandably, since I saw him snorting something more than once) hustler who hires local strippers as the crew. It is an all-inclusive (except for the tips) deal. You depart in the late morning, head to Los Arcos, where they give you a chance to snorkel for about 15 minutes or so, using very basic, ill-fitting gear (don't think of this as an actual snorkeling tour or you will be disappointed), then continue on to a remote bay with a few restaurants, where you are served lunch (also included, except for beverages). The food is plain and filling, nothing fancy, and they switch between restaurants, depending on who offers them the best deal or who can accommodate the crowd they bring, so there's no way to know where you are actually going to be eating until you pull up. After lunch, you hop back on the boat and head to a (hopefully) deserted beach, where you can take off your clothes if you want. The strippers/crew all get naked at this point, and the "foreskin shots" begin. This is the highlight for many of the tourists. The strippers insert their fingers into their foreskins, stretch them out and up into a cup shape, and the host pours your choice of liquor into the foreskin, and a customer quickly sucks out the liquor, and sucks the head of the stripper in the process. They also have strippers get down on their hands and knees, and they pour liquor down the crack of the stripper's ass (butt crack luge), and you put your mouth on the stripper's butt (above the asshole, according to explicit directions) and catch the liquor. The crowd often has to be cajoled into participating. After spending some time there, the boat heads back to the pier near Los Muertos beach.

The crew is hired from the stripper bar Antropology, and the host shows up there the night before and tries to make deals with the guys to crew the boat the next day, so you never know who you are going to get, and the crew ranges from cute to very rough-looking. The two times I have gone it was a mix of attractive, semi-attractive, and unattractive guys. They ply you with liquor from the beginning, and they especially turn up the liquor service on the way back to town, which is when they start to ask for tips--they tell people to hold their tips until the end of the day, when you are at your drunkest. I had some fun the first time I went, but when we got to the "deserted" beach, there was actually an elderly straight couple already there, which kind of put a damper on the festivities. Almost nobody got naked, although the old man very clearly stood up and took off all his clothes, signaling that they didn't mind at all if people got naked! On the second trip, another guy who was nervous and apparently attracted to me latched onto me and tried to stay by my side on the entire trip. Also, on my first trip, they had so many customers that they hired a second boat, and the cute Canadian couple that I wanted to spend some time with got put on the other boat. Your experience on this trip will vary depending on who signs up on that day. The crowd always includes Mexican tourists, as well as tourists from the US and Canada. It starts out a little timid, but everyone loosens up after a few rounds of alcohol, and by the time you get back, you are sure to have found some fast friends. The strippers begin working hard for their tips on the trip back, and I saw one letting a guy suck his dick for 30 seconds or so (and then speaking quickly and privately, I assume to arrange a later meeting), but that was the most I saw in terms of action. If you think the tour sounds fun, go for it. I don't think it's a bad way to spend a day, if you keep your expectations low. If you simply want to find an escort, it would be easier and cheaper to go to Antropology or Wet Dreams, where many guys are available.

One suggestion: they are serious when they tell people to take motion sickness meds. I did so both times. And on both trips I saw other customers sick and puking. They hand the pills out just before you get on the boat (if they have them available), but I would buy them and take them 30 minutes to an hour ahead of time just to be sure.

[Alaskabear]

Thanks for this post!   I’m going to visit PV soon and I’ve always been curious about this tour.    I haven’t been back for years but the last time antropology was a lot more fun than wet dreams.   Less pushy and more rowdy/raunchy I guess.   I also picked up a young hustler in a plaza late at night walking home alone.   Needless to say, he kept me from coming home empty handed.   

I really would like to check out the second tier cities of Mexico for some high brow and low brow fun.    So many off the map places to explore.   

Getting back to PV,  are the stripper bars the best option to pick up escorts?  Or is there a better online presence with the apps, etc?  

[Walker]

How much does this boat tour cost?  And how much is the expected tips?

[torogen]

8 hours ago, Alaskabear said:

Getting back to PV,  are the stripper bars the best option to pick up escorts?  Or is there a better online presence with the apps, etc?  

There is definitely some online presence on Scruff, and particularly on Grindr. Lots of free sex available, quite a bit of paid sex. Many of the very young, sexy, well-built guys advertise themselves for massage, but they often set their profile name to something like Ma$$ag3. It's not always so obvious. I messaged a couple of guys I figured were probably escorts, and they replied within one or two exchanges as "I am scort". I was there over New Year's Eve, and the town is always PACKED at that time, and this year there were many more escorts advertising than I had ever seen before. The selection varies according to the calendar. In the strip bars, you can inspect the merchandise up front, but the prices are much more expensive, something like $40/50 for 15 minutes (actually, maybe it's only 10 minutes!) in the back room, and many of the guys at Wet Dreams are primadonnas. Guys online are more accommodating and cheaper ($60 for an hour at NYE, on average, although I was quoted anywhere from $15 to $100).

7 hours ago, Walker said:

How much does this boat tour cost?  And how much is the expected tips?

Tips are up to you. Bigger tips if you do something with one of the strippers, of course. The tour varies. Online, they are charging $119:   http://pvsunsetpartycruise.com but I think I paid more like $60 or $80 when I bought the tickets in town (there are many people hawking event tickets on Olas Altas and elsewhere). The tour does often sell out in advance, but as I mentioned if they have enough interest, they hire a second boat. Both times I went, I actually found the other customers more interesting than the strippers, although the strippers can be fun. 

[PopeFrancis]

On 2/2/2018 at 12:12 AM, torogen said:

...but when we got to the "deserted" beach, there was actually an elderly straight couple already there, which kind of put a damper on the festivities. Almost nobody got naked...

Love your writing style, it's fast pace and the surprise appearance by the elderly couple!... made me laugh!